unsuspectingfish

[unsuspectingfish]

shoutout to the horny freaks in fandom. this is a freaks please do interact zone

[unsuspectingfish]

fwiw i do think the narrative surrounding trans women in sports needs to drift away from "she didn't even win so it's okay" and towards "there is absolutely nothing unfair about a trans woman beating a cis woman in a sporting event"

[unsuspectingfish]

SEBASTIAN STAN as James "Bucky" Barnes THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER | 2021

[unsuspectingfish]

Lou Ferrigno Jr, I need you...

[unsuspectingfish]

every time someone calls a cis man an egg because he decides to deviate even slightly from traditional masculine gender norms, an angel loses its wings

[unsuspectingfish]

i think the next completely unfaithful reimagining of the persephone myth should be a Taken-style action adventure where demeter viciously fights her way through the underworld to rescue her daughter

[unsuspectingfish]

the actual reason I consume mediocre media is because I have bad taste. the deeper secret pretentious reason is because I think there’s something very revealing about bad media that you don’t get with good media. when you watch a poorly executed plot point unfold, you see the machinery behind it. you see the gap between what’s actually on screen and the true goal the author is striving for. if it’s particularly awful, you can even measure just how poorly mismatched the author’s skills are with the story they’re trying to tell you. watching a poorly executed narrative play out feels like you’re discovering something, because you see all the wiring and guts underneath that better authors hide from you, in the same way that movies hide boom mics and books make you forget you’re turning the pages. if a story is good and executed well you just see the story. but I want to see the guts and wires!

[unsuspectingfish]

Coming to work excited to show the elderly couple that cashiers for us pictures of my new spiders because I know they’ll be as excited as I am

[unsuspectingfish]

I know some of these people grew up in the same 90s I did, and yet

Every argument I see against trans people in sports is the same argument that’s been used to justify not paying a living wage to women who are already professional athletes.

You don’t care about women, you just care about upholding the status quo.

[unsuspectingfish]

I’m sorry about the topical whiplash, but I absolutely NEED everyone else to experience the fact that: 1) this tastes like beef-flavored licorice, 2) yet it is somehow the EXACT texture of real jerky, and 3) they apparently got the smell close enough that my cat tried to steal a piece.

[unsuspectingfish]

I didn’t spend my childhood learning about people like Billie Jean King and Bobbi Gibb just for all these fucking transphobes and TERFs to come in and send us all the way back to the 19fucking50s.

[unsuspectingfish]

Absolutely in love with this new spider I got. It’s Psalmopoeus sp. ‘Black Orchid’ (also tentatively labelled Psalmopoeus sp. ‘Alquitran’). I have another member of this genus, P. victori, aka Darth Maul tarantula, and even though it’s half this size, it’s already got the super fluffy legs going. I got this boy at a steep discount, because he’s an almost mature male, and the males of this species apparently only live 1-2 years, which sucks, but I think it’s absolutely worth it to get to experience this stunning guy.

[unsuspectingfish]

Just a little bucktommy/Buck does what's best for him/Tommy is the #1 Evan Buckley defender drabble for you on this Wednesday

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

Hey Tommy, sorry to bother you with this but any chance you've heard from Buck?

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

He told us he was still transferring and also taking a week off and now no one has heard from him in days.

Tommy looks at the text messages, coming in quick succession, and snorts harshly.

[TOMMY KINARD]

That sounds like a lot. Did you check his house?

Tommy knows they didn't check his house, because they have absolutely no clue what had been going on in Evan's life for at least a few weeks, probably closer to a month.

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

Uh. Well.

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

We kind of don't know where he moved to.

Tommy rolls his eyes, mutters "Jesus Christ, Chimney," under his breath.

[TOMMY KINARD]

You don't know where your own brother-in-law lives? Dude.

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

Come on man I just had a baby

[TOMMY KINARD]

I thought your wife had the baby

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

You're a comedian.

[TOMMY KINARD]

I'd say I'm here all week, but I'm actually on vacation.

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

Yeah, yeah, I'll take the hint and stop bothering you. Even though you have no sympathy for the fact that my wife is going to be very disappointed with me when she finds out I lost her brother and she's going to look at me in the way that makes me feel very sad and also guilty.

[TOMMY KINARD]

Well, if I see him I'll let you know. Good luck with all of that I guess.

Tommy chuckles again, the face pushed into his stomach bouncing a bit with it. Evan rolls, sleep-bright eyes blinking up at Tommy in confusion.

"Whatsit?" Evan mumbles, a hand coming up to wipe away at what is definitely drool in the corner of his mouth.

Evan had been napping with his head on Tommy's lap, spread out across the couch in the cabin they're borrowing from a friend of Tommy's for a weekend getaway. They'd spent the last three hours hiking (and maybe some of it making out against a tree) and Evan was still in a bit of a sleep deficit from trying to quickly get all of his stuff moved out of Eddie's house two days ago.

"Nothing, sweetheart," Tommy tells him warmly, his torso curling down towards Evan as he runs a hand through slightly sweaty but impossibly soft curls. "Just texting Chimney."

"Mmmok," Evan says, rolling back into Tommy's stomach and kicking a knee out to stretch farther down the couch. It accentuates his long, long legs which are currently wrapped in hiking shorts that are honestly just sinfully short and leggings; and Tommy is also maybe drooling a little. He's going to let Evan sleep for a little longer, knowing if he lets it go on too long Evan's sleep schedule will be ruined.

But also beacuase Tommy is more than happy to pick up where they left off against the tree; this time in the plush bed waiting for them, with enough time and sunlight leftover to then grill the steaks they had bought for dinner.

Tommy shakes himself out of the daydream that's going to end up disturbing the man impersonating sleeping beauty right over something that will give away exactly what's going through his head and looks at the text conversation again. He sighs. He doesn't think that Howie and the rest of the 118 deserve much right now, but he does sympathize with a woman who just had a baby and who has access to another woman who won't hesitate to launch a manhunt for his boyfriend.

He sighs and pulls up Maddie's phone number, but then thinks of something much funnier.

[TOMMY KINARD]

Image

[TOMMY KINARD]

Oh shit man you'll never guess what I found

[HOWIE HAN]:

Tommy what the FUCK

[unsuspectingfish]

Unrelated to everything else, I was just thinking about how unfortunate it is that I can’t get my cat a bunch of cigarette and cigar themed stuff for her 18th birthday, next year, but then I remembered that I can make her a fake voter registration card, which is arguably so much better.

[unsuspectingfish]

I guess I should say my cat is the only one that would suffer without care for a 5-7 day period, and that’s mostly just scooping her box. She’s free fed by vet order and CAN live without wet food, though I know she’d complain. My spiders and bugs get fed once a week, my frogs and gecko have isopods they frequently decimate, I could leave extra food for my mouse, and I’ve covered the humid enclosures before when I’ve left for a few days, so no one would have to worry about misting. They’d just have to make sure the mouse didn’t somehow both tip his water dish and block his water bottle.