untilmyheart-explodes

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there's an extremely niche plot in romance fiction wherein our invariably heterosexual leads fall in love after a night of passion leads to an unplanned pregnancy and they're now bound together by an impending child. I cast no judgment on anyone who enjoys this, but since I'm an evil gay and this is my personal nightmare scenario I want to see a zany romance novel premised on the opposite resolution: a couple falls in love while on a whirlwind roadtrip to obtain a legal abortion

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It recently came to my attention that a lot of people, even those who frequently use condoms, don't know that you need to pinch the tip when you put one on or don't know why!

Leaving air in the tip will cause it to expand (and maybe break) when ejaculation happens. Also, air in the condom makes it more likely for the ejaculation to push the air down the condom and make it slip off.

Share to save someone from a condom breakage!

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dislike how many mental health posts on here are just "you've never done anything wrong in your life ever and they were evil for that"

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It’s so funny how people forget what certain dog breeds were bred for. A dachshund named Valerie has been marooned on a remote part of Kangaroo Island since she ran away from a campsite in 2023 and everyone in the comments was like “that is the last dog breed I would expect to survive on its own for 500 days”. Hmm. I don’t know if it’s just me and I’ve met absolute freak dachshunds my entire life but they’re tenacious little motherfuckers with an incredible prey drive. I’m more worried about the critically endangered endemic Kangaroo Island dunnart population than I am Valerie. No large predators, several species of small mammal, temperatures consistently between 55° and 75°? She’s the queen of the island now. All small marsupials quake at the sound of her footsteps.

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what .

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Why is no one talking about Gerard’s story from the early band days when Ray pulled over in the middle of the night in Texas and made them go star gazing????

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as a pink lover. The ""universal""" hatred of the color pink by young girls is due to the heavy expectation of femininity forced on them. It is an expression of frustration at gender roles. It is not internalized misogyny. No you will not inevitably start liking pink as an adult and if you do that is not healing your inner divine feminine or whatever we're saying now. Its a color. 😁👍

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No way

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no one talks about how straight up painful it is to be the bigger person when deep in your soul you just want to be a huge bitch about it

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Surely adding a glass of wine to my already sexed up mood will do nothing of serious consequence

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My beloved is a wizard at making words into horrible abominations of their former self- but you somehow can’t stop yourself from repeating the new version. Then it sticks. Forever.

Words that have been permanently altered in my lexicon started out innocently. I’m sure a lot of households call spinach “spinch” because of that one meme. Pizza morphing into “peepaw” was a little more out of left field but I no longer bat an eye when asking my beloved, “Want to get peepaw for dinner?”

They also changed Cheez-its to just… Its. We had the cheese crackers in the house and they went, “You want some Its?” We laughed ourselves sick and it stuck hard and it’s absolutely incomprehensible to outsiders.

It escalated when they started referring to nipples as “norples” and now that one has escaped containment with our friends.

But the worst one. The one they’re most proud of. Is that they shortened masturbating into just: “turbating” and it’s so goddamn catchy. It somehow cuts out the worst part of the word and leaves a mouth feel similar to gyrating or turbo; like touching yourself is akin to going on a fun bouncy ride in a little spaceship or something.

Now it’s too late for me. Turbating in a permanent addition to my vocabulary and even when my beloved isn’t around that’s how I think of self pleasure in the privacy of my own brain. Their greatest wish is to spread this to everyone. Their greatest achievement, even greater than their doctorate probably, would be spreading turbating to the roiling masses of the world.

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another silly lil thought i had: they’re stuck in the timeloop, so the 2009 car is new to them. however, mikey runs off every night and we don’t see him kidnapped/killed like the rest. if mikey is perhaps avoiding the timeloop, it’s perfectly lore accurate for him to get his iphone out to take photos of the crowd and for gerard to not know what it is. this also gives mikey an excuse to just have fun on stage and not be as into playing a character as the others.

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I was telling my dad about how there are always hermits in Arthurian stories, just, you're out on a quest and you need directions or to recover from a wound so you look for the nearest hermit because there's usually one around. My Dad said "Like gas stations" and I have not been the same since