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@deepspyranchprofessor @hogwartsylove

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Sad people don’t look sad at all. They should’ve warned us about this all along. Sometimes they laugh the loudest, they even crack the best jokes. They come and go, never telling their story. They touch their hand to your shoulder, they listen to your words. It’s heartbreaking how we must be both bright and dark at once.

I know it’s hard, Alaska Gold.

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Peaceful Saturday afternoon. 💓🏙

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@hogwartsylove: manghilak ta.

Me: what? Manghilak ta bisan dili ta kahilakon? Kalain ba.

@hogwartsylove: pwede man gud anytime.

Me: hahahahaha ing-ani lugar? *cries akwardly* hahahahaha pugson gyud ba.

@hogwartsylove: Maghuna-huna ta'g anything para makahilak.

Me: i-schedule nlng nato. Unyang gabii. Inig ka gabii before matulog kay maoy perfect time muhilak. Hahahahahaha

@hogwartsylove: hahaha sige, akong i-tweet.

Me: huyyy ayaw! Abi pa lang, miserable kaayo atong life. Noooo waaaaay! We're happy(crazy) people.

So pati paghilak, planuhan. 😂😂😂

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It's my 10th day of drinking tea without any sweetener. 😝 haha tolerable man sad ang lasa so yeah, tiis-tiis for a healthier me (charot!) and for the environment na sad. 💕 🍃

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push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.

organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

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KAPOY NA

How to convince yourself nga okay pa, kaya pa? Kay ako, wala na ko kabalo unsaon.

Gikapoy na ko balik pa'g buhat sa routine nga pang lima ka bulan buhaton. Lami na iambak gikan 15th flr (charot!). Lami na ba kaayo mulakaw nlng, byaan nlng ning tanan kay my gulay! Huna-hunaon nga 0.17 nlng unta, humana unta kooooo? Pero wa man gyud, di man gyud para nako tong isa ka item nga unta nagpadungag og tulo ka letra sa akong ngalan. L**** ba!

Kana bang usahay kay okay ka. Kay imong huna-hunaon nga, “Unsaon ta man. Mao ni gihatag nga test sa ako. Kung unsaon nako pag-react sa failure. Kung unsaon nako pagdawat sa failure as a blessing. Kung kaya ba gyud nako i-treat nlng ni as something nga makapagpahimo sa ako nga ‘better person’.” Haaaay ambot lang! Bisan unsaon, sakitan gihapon ko'g huna-huna. Ngano wa man gyud gihatag tong isa ka item sa ako? Isa nlng man unta?

Kung naay muingon nga, basin wala nako gibuhat akong best or basin nagkulang gyud ko, nahhhh ambot! Unsa man diay “best” gyud? Kay para sa ako, gibuhat na nako akong “best”. Gibuhat nako ang makaya sa akong utok ug lawas. “I did my best but my best wasn’t good enough”, lugar? Mao!

Amaw ang dili makasabot sa akong gibati. 😑