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I never thought I be this happy again. Well I was wrong. He makes me feel things I've never felt. I'm so Happy.

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I give up I give up on trying I give up on fighting I give up on life. I can never make anyone Happy All I do is hurt people. I push people away when it gets hard. I push people away when I get hurt I can't do this is anymore I'm sorry to everyone I've hurt It's not like my apologies matter But at least I'm trying. What if I feel like noone would miss me if I'm gone. Atleast I won't cause anymore problems. Why do I do this to my self.

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Till 3005??????? I guess not………. I mean I was sticking to that but I guess you didn't........

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I still have this note. This note explains everything. I poured my heart out into it. But now I question if it's even worth giving to you. Or if you even want to hear me out...........

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Why???

You said you were waiting for me You said you'd always be here You don't listen to me when I say I still love you You have this thought of what's going in my life But you don't know the truth Nor do you wanna know the truth. I'm over here crying over the news I just heard But you wouldn't care Your happy with her Your happy with it me You think I've moved on You think that I love someone else But in all reality I can't shoe any one the emotions I showed you I'm broken I can't love any one right now because I'm afraid of the pain. But that doesn't bug you I see her post with the two of yiu So happy So much love in one picture I'm just waiting till I see a picture of the ring on her finger. Hoping and praying it's not the one I think it is. You think that I don't know what's going in but I do. I love you I always have I always will..........

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You....

I see your post about us About our memories About the past About the future The songs you keep playing bring me to tears. Because the lyrics are so true to the heart. The meaning behind the songs is the worst part. When u post a song i go and listen to it. And end up crying. I cant sleep i cant eat the only thing that keeps me going is the music and your art.

[untold-stories-blog1]

Why did it happen like this?? Why did i let this happen?? Why just why. I cried my self to sleep when i heard the news. I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling hoping and praying the news i heard wasnt true. I cried when i was told your not my concern anymore. Not matter what happenes in my life i will always care about you. The moment i got the message asking if i had heard from you i went into a severe panic/anxiety attack. I couldnt breath I couldnt see I couldnt move My friend asked what was wrong and all i could do was give her my phone. I was in so much pain. I havent eaten since i got that message. I havent slept. I cant focus. Your all thats on my mind. I know i hurt you and no matter how much you dont beileve it. Im sorry I really truley am sorry. You have no idea. I cant find the words to express to you directly. But this is the best i can muster up. I didnt mean for any of this to happen. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. Words mean nothing i know but i hope they will soon.

[untold-stories-blog1]

Emotions are a terrible thing to deal with. Depression…. Anxiety…. Heartbreak…. Miss communication…. There are words you wish could exchange but just cant bear to say them. You are judged you are yelled at. No matter how much i try the words im sorry mean nothing. Everyone says its not my fault. But no matter how much i try i cant bring myself to beilieve it. I loved you you loved me I hurt you and destroyed and i didnt mean to or want to do anything like that. I know you wont beileve it but i loved you screw that i still do. People say time heals all wounds but i dont know if thats the case in this situation. …………….this isnt even all i have to say. Rant over