updatesfromoz

[updatesfromoz]

I'm gonna shave my damn head

If everything goes the way it seems to be going, I'm going to shave my damn head. I'm going to shave it because I am so tired of being more dynamic than people expect me to be. I'm so tired of my indulgences in normal feminine behavior giving people the idea that I am a normal feminine figure. Just because I like to do my make up and dye my hair does not mean that I am your stereotypical female. And I'm tired of men assuming that that's true. No woman with a shaved head is assumed to be a stereotypical female. I'm tired of not being seen for who I am. I'm tired of people not being curios of who I am. Last time I shaved my head I felt persecuted for the hair style. It was much less common back then. But bring on the persecution. Fuck, I'd rather be persecuted and have a chance to explain myself rather than be assumed to be something that I'm not and then held accountable for the idea of who I am in their minds. This time's going to be different. Mother fuckers gonna have to love me as much as I love my damn self if they want to be with me. If you want to be graced with my presence then you need to love all the good about me and challenge me to grow if you feel growth is warranted rather than criticize and judge the fuck out of traits I think are beautiful. And guess fucking what, someday those criticizers will see that the reason that they don't accept me completely for who I am is because they can't accept the parts of themselves that they think are ugly and horrible. And that's the saddest part of all of this. No matter how much you try to show someone you love all of them, even the parts of them that are "ugly", they will never recognize the extent to which you love them until they decide to love themselves to that extent. And by then it's probably too late. What a horrible waste of a beautiful potential.

[updatesfromoz]

How do purpose if no purpose?

I guess I'm using Tumblr as a platform to express some very personal thoughts and experiences these days. Not many people click into my blog to read a post unless they really care about spending the time reading pointless ramblings of my life. So if you're here, thanks. I appreciate you taking in what I have to say and valuing it enough to stare at my words for more than 30 seconds. In the past I've had really uplifting things to say about what I have been experiencing in life. Until these last couple months I've felt a lot of hope and positivity in the human experience and what that means. I believed in large scale change and building power and self awareness in all people. Although I still hold these values, I'm in a place now where Im struggling with the whole concept of purpose while simultaneously being the most happy and content I've ever been. Weird. I'm under the impression that there is no purpose to life. Humans are a random creation of earth just like everything else on this planet. At some point during our evolution, a genetic mutation allowed us the ability to develop human "consciousness", which led to... well, the rest of human history. All our lives we've been taught that human existence is important, relevant and has a purpose to this world. We learn even further to think only about ourselves and, even worse, to FEEL only about ourselves or not feel at all. In my experience people have lost the ability to bond with another human without looking/behaving a certain way or saying the right thing. We've been taught to hide and shove down our feelings and vulnerability so far that there is almost no such thing as nonverbal, emotional, energetic connection anymore. People are blinded by the priorities in this country to invest in success, money, material items, consuming media, travel, anything to take you out of an existence that might just be still and calm and pointless. People indulge in their life stories and trauma and treat it with utmost importance, use it as anothing tool to hide behind. Anything to distract you from what might actually be looking you right in the face at this very moment and you know it's there, but you look away and stick your phone in your face instead of really seeing it. I'm just like everyone else on this planet. I actively ignore, neglect and CHOOSE to be blinded by many things, hoping that I'll feel some kind of feeling I've never felt before, learn something new that might change the way I experience the mundane, pointless everyday. I'm struggling to figure out how to BE as a human, exist in social situations, consume any kind of art, media or literature while under the impression that all this is meaningless. We're all just here for a moment and then gone. We'll all be gone eventually. I never thought I'd say this, but I've been really vibing on the same level as Jim Carrey recently. He gets it. He's content, satusfied with being a human and just wondering around, looking for something to pass the time while he's here. I keep getting these urges to start charity organizations, drop everything I have to fight tooth and nail for human rights, create a business that aims to make an impact on the community, get a new job that at least helps 1 person everyday. But I don't know if any of that would make a difference. The values in this country are jacked. And that has a ripple effect. The people who are fighting against our standard american values values are jacked as well. You can't think unAmerican if you are still bought into America. Nothing I can do will really help. Do I want to martyr the shit out of myself and give up my happy, thriving life for something that's not going to make a difference in the long run? If I did only the things that made me the most happy, would that then make more of a difference? Am I just depressed? Or is this how my brain works now? Maybe all of this is just inspired by the changing of the seasons. But maybe this is something everyone thinks about everyday, locked in the background of existence. I don't know how to be right now. I've been learning that patience is more important in life than I thought. Waiting, sitting, watching. We'll see. Maybe the struggle against my natural humans tendency for purpose is all a part of it. ANYWAY, THANKS FOR READING THAT WAS A LOT. COMMENTS ARE FUN. I LIKE FEEDBACK. 🦐🦄🦀🇺🇸

[updatesfromoz]

Make My Knees Shake

It’s been 5 months since landing in Asheville, but it feels like a lifetime. Life has evolved every week and at times, everyday. This process of choosing this place, coming here and setting some roots in has been confusing, exploratory, invigorating and quiet all at the same time. I’ve done nothing but learn and evolve with this time.

Recently I’ve been floored by the environment here. The Appalachians are hands down the most mystical, beautiful mountains I have ever had the pleasure of taking in. There’s a spirit to them that I can’t describe. A driving calmness that washes over everything here. Something I appreciate is that the mountains and the trees aren’t as in your face and striking at the Rockies or Sierras. These are humble mountains. The trees, moss, grass, ferns and flowers tranquilly exist in perfect symbiosis with them. I’m so thankful that I can live in this town and have access to all of the things I love about a city and simply retreat back to my yard full of lush, leafy trees and bushes when I want to be in nature. Just outside the city there are gorgeous lakes, waterfalls and rivers, plenty with bugs and wildflowers. You can forget there’s even a city at all, just miles away. 

When I was growing up in Texas, I was deeply connected to the land and it’s rivers. I knew the trees, streams and rocks intimately. In high school I used to visit Cibolo Nature Center almost on a daily basis, hurriedly take off my shoes and plant my feet into the sandy shoreline of the creek and feel the smooth stones and mucky bottom under my bare skin. The feeling of the forrest and hills alive within me was overwhelming. I was a part of the land and the land was a part of me. 

Moving to the Southwest for college was much harder than I had expected. I thought I was so ready to get the fuck out of Texas, but as soon as I did, my heart felt like it was being ripped to pieces. Not being able to kayak through the overgrown, slow moving rivers of my home, camp through tropical storms and nestle in the roots of cyprus trees wore on me more than I understood at the time. Every visit home was relief from the constant separation anxiety I was experiencing. Getting back into Texas waters was healing. 

Since graduating college, I’ve traveled all around this country and Australia. I’ve been fortunate enough to see some of the most beautiful places in the US. Lived next to one of the most powerful rivers in California, sat the whole day in hot springs on the side of the mountains in New Mexico, camped in the middle of foggy rivers in Never Never, Australia. I’ve never felt the same level of entanglement with nature since I was a teenager in Texas. Maybe it’s because it’s my home, maybe I’m haven’t been as present and involved with nature as I used to be when I was growing up. Whatever it is, my soul connection to nature has felt foreign for so long until I moved to North Carolina. 

When I sit at the foot of these waterfalls or watch ice melting under 5 inch thick ice sheets amongst aphid-covered ferns and mountain wild flowers, I can feel myself tapping back into that bubbling pool of power, calm and majesty of nature. Maybe I’ll never feel like I did when I was a teenager and I had spent my youth getting to know wild Texas in the eyes of a wondering(wandering) child. Whatever this is, it’s invigorating. It’s calm and peaceful. I’m excited to call this place my new home. My roots will one day run deep here too. Come at the North Carolina. 

Image creds: 

http://www.cibolo.org/

https://ashevilletrails.com/blue-ridge-parkway/graveyard-fields-trail-waterfalls/

[updatesfromoz]

Crystal Skies

I knew the process of moving back home wouldn't be easy, but it often surprises me how hard it still is. As I mentioned in my last post, it didn't take me long after coming back to realise that my heart was very much buried in Australia, so I took the next step to get myself back there. I'm not sure what I read, but at some point while doing research on student visas I saw that Australia usually grants study visas 3 months in advance. Well it turns out this is not the case and the exciting idea of me going back to Oz in May was shattered. In reality, assuming I actually get accepted into school, the earliest I will be able to go back is July. Now, I know what you are saying because my friends and family have said it already, "Karli, July is only 6 months away!" I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I do realise that's not much time and it will fly by and I will be there before I know it, but here's some examples of what 6 months feels like from my perspective: 1) In the 6 months before I left for Australia I moved back home from Albuquerque, ended a 3 year relationship and worked for 5 months (Freetail first time around) to save for my travels. 2) I WWOOFed on 5 different farms, met hundreds of people, some of which are very good friends of mine, visited/stayed in at least 20 cities and had the adventure of a lifetime in a span of only 5 months. 3) My entire time living in Canberra was only 7 months, at least 3 of which I wouldn't even consider because of working entirely too much, not socialising and trips to other cities. I made all of my best friends in the world during that time, fell in love with a place half way across the globe, built the life I always wanted for myself and grew into the adult human I am today. Six months to me is a lifetime, a lifetime of being very far away from people that are a part of who I am, away from crisp air, outdoors, the smell of eucalyptus, good coffee, cycling as a way of life, good humour, pubs, a liveable wage and sparkly, shiny magic!!! Ok that last part was a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point :) Don't get me wrong, I am thoroughly loving working for Freetail again. I love the people that are in my life currently. I'm so appreciative to get so much time with my family and see all my US friends again. I wouldn't trade this time for anything. However, I suppose it's all a mental game, because that 2 months difference from May to July turned 4 months of semi-vacation, family time into 6 months of living at your parents, big city San Antonio life hell (again with the exaggerations). As many of you who have travelled know, coming back home can be uncomfortable and disappointing. The things that you love about the place you were living may not be present back home. The way people communicate and live their lives can be entirely different, leaving you feeling unfulfilled or outcasted in social situations. The food is different, the air smells different, the method of transportation you take to work is different, what you do in your free time is different, everything is different. But over time, you seem to get re-accustomed to the way life used to be. You learn the American jokes again, you make the 20 minute solo car commute to work everyday and try to convince your friends to sit at a coffee shop, pub or play billiards with you on your days off. You enjoy the delicious cultural food that only exists in your city, in your state, in your area of the country. You drink craft beer from the hundreds of microbreweries within a 30 miles radius of your house and you get excited when you hear spanish exchanges at your local grocery store. It's all a mental game and it's all about focus and attention. Focus on the good things, the things that you love about where you are right now. Pay attention in your daily life because it doesn't get better than this. These 6 months are a blessing in disguise, I just have to keep my head up and wait to discover the reason for it all. 

[updatesfromoz]

Art is a Lie. Nothing is Real.

I want to preface this post by saying that these thoughts were developed from my very personal experience of life at the moment. They are a bit narrow-minded/simple and I did not spend the time editing my writing to account for or please everyone else's point of view. I don't mean to offend or neglect others career choices or beliefs about life. 

Growing up in the United States, there is a lot of pressure to decide what you want to be when you grow up. Even from a young age, kids often must answer to prying family members, friends and educators about which career they would like to commit themselves to for the rest of their lives. As we get older, this single life career notion is instilled in us even more when we are forced to (often) choose 1 major related to our desired career. Sometimes it isn't until after you've put all this time, money and effort into a 4-5 year degree that you realise you've been pigeonholed into this one specific field with a finite amount of jobs that are more limited in number than ever. On top of this, now consuming, stress about figuring out what you are going to do with the rest of your life, you still need to make rent, pay your phone bill and begin to chip away at your planet-sized student loans. At this point, I have observed many of my friends (and myself) check out of this linear system we have been a part of since we entered Kindergarden and enter the minimum wage (or close enough to it), menial-task workforce in hopes of gaining experience and time to figure out how to answer the question, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"  You all have been reading my blog long enough that you know that I was fortunate to have had some big realisations about life, MY life and my future over this last year and am glad to say that I extricated my mind from the linear life sequence we are encouraged to follow growing up in the US. There are many things I admire about the Australian worldview and lifestyle, but the one that was most influential in helping me find satisfaction with my current life and peace of mind about my future is their realistic acceptance of life for the way it is right now. Australia is undeniably a country of prosperity with a comparably small population size and because of this there is a more relaxed attitude when it comes to picking a career and definitely less stress about being able to find a professional career when the time comes. Where in America we are expected to work almost everyday and in our free time do something noteworthy so you can report it to your coworkers come Monday, Australians were always happy to report that they did nothing over the weekend or had just read, drawn, sat at a cafe with friends or went for a bike ride. Relaxation is valued and widely known to be an important part of a balanced and healthy life. This is starkly different from the America I grew up in where relaxing and enjoying yourself for too long is considered lazy. After adopting the Australian attitude towards relaxation time vs. work time, I started thinking about how work actually fit into my life and why I was always so stressed about it. I eventually came to realise that although it is important to have something to live for your career does not have to be your life. You don't have to do the same career your whole life and kids shouldn't be taught to worry about answering the daunting question of what one thing do you want to do with you life.  The funny thing about all of this is, in a previous attempt to figure out what I want to do with my life, I always paid attention to or researched career paths/life choices of adults that I admired and found that most people switch jobs multiple times throughout their lives, sometimes very dramatically. So why are we teaching our kids that you have to pick one thing? Why are the school systems set up to spout you into 1 direction? Why can't we just encourage kids to at least attempt what they are interested in or passionate about before committing themselves to more "practical" career paths? 

What I've come to realise about careers and work is that it's generally unrealistic to think that you will do only 1 thing for the rest of your life. Life isn't that permanent. And although it seems overwhelming for degree-holding, twenty-something year olds to choose (or find for that matter) a professional job right now, remember to just pick a job that you are interested in. It doesn't have to be the perfect job and it doesn't have to be what you do for the rest of your life. Feel free to allow your job to be just the way you make a living for right now. We should be enjoying ourselves as well as working, so even if you don't love your current job, focus on developing your personal life. Learn a hobby or skill you've always wanted to learn, join organisations that fulfil you, keep you interested and wanting to learn and do more. You are the only person or thing that can make your life have purpose. Don't succumb to the thinking that you must have an amazing, life-long job to be a happy person. 

And that brings me to the update part of this post (I know you've all been secretly waiting for it). It took less than 3 weeks of being home to realise that where I need to be right now is in Canberra. Even though I was just working hospitality, I got paid a comfortable, liveable wage. I didn't have to stress about money and it was quite easy to live cheaply. I have 3 workplaces to potentially return to and a large set of friends that I love with my whole heart. I mean, I didn't spend 5 months traveling Australia, evaluating every city I went through to abandon the city that I chose to live in because it was actually the perfect city for the life I want to have right now. I am in the process of applying at University of Canberra for an education/teaching Masters program and will hopefully start in August. Until then, I will most likely work here in San Antonio, save up as much money as I can and delve into a lot of my hobbies that I have neglected over the years. I've already begun to learn some new songs on the ol' uke after being inspired by my brother's amazing guitar skillzZz that he picked up over the last couple months. Also, just a side note that Mitch and I are going to see mother snitchin' Bo Burnham in March!! Who needs education and career goals when you can be in the presence of Bo Burnham, am I right? Anyhow, I guess this is where I end it, on a non-inspiring and icreasingGILGLYy StreeSSSFUllLL NOTE! You're welcome. 

[updatesfromoz]

Photos from Liz, Sonja and I's Tassy trip. Click photos for captions! 

[updatesfromoz]

How Soon is Now?

I know I've been talking a lot in my last few posts about how my time in Australia is ending, but I have to admit that NOW it really is. And I think it still won't feel like it's really ending until I've landed in LA.  I suppose before I get all feelings on you I should tell you guys about my amazing trip to Tasmania! But first a little background: mainland Australians constantly take the piss out of Tasmania, often joking about how incestual they are and how there's nothing actually there, but hopefully you've learned my Oz traveling mantra by now ("If an Australian tells you not to go there, go there"). Needless to say, Tasmania is actually amazing, the people are lovely and there are TONS of things there. Tasmania is also often referred to as Australia's New Zealand, and it lived up to this title in every way. As stunned as I have been with the terrain of mainland Australia, Tasmania was even more mystical and unique. The island is littered with mountain ranges, mesas and forests, all right up against pristine coastline. My friends Liz, Sonja and I started our trip with an overnight ferry ride from Melbourne to Devonport. When we landed (at 6am I might add), we grabbed a coffee and brainstormed our plans for the week. Immediately we decided we had to do Cradle Mountain National Park first. We set out on a longer than expected drive into the park and started our hike too close to sunset. We stayed the night in a park cabin where we were greeted by 7 other campers, who we played games and drank hot chocolate with. We finished our hike the next day by summitting Cradle Mountain then hiking down through the most beautiful sunset I have ever experienced (pictures to follow). After all that hiking, we decided to take a break in Hobart for a couple days. We spent a fantastic night at The Winston pub, explored Salamanca markets, drove up Mount Wellington to battle the wind and hail for a good view, then went to MONA (coolest art museum of my life). I was absolutely taken by Hobart, which is now officially my favourite city in Australia.  To finish out our trip, we wanted to get some camping in on the east coast. We headed out to Freysinet National Park, home of Wine Glass bay, where we camped on the beach and had Thanksgiving dinner over a campfire! Although I missed the traditional, comfy and warm Thanksgiving, campfire Thanksgiving with Liz and Sonja was one of my favourites so far :) Again, pictures to follow!

From Freysinet we drove back up to the ferry for the ride back to Melbourne. Again, another gorgeous sunset on the boat, a few beers and an uncomfortable sleep on the Ocean Recliners. Upon our return, I picked up Frazer at the airport and we spent the weekend meandering the streets of Fitzroy, Collingwood, Brunswick and St. Kilda. We did a lot of op-shopping, good food eating and pub-sitting for the weekend and then attempted to make our way back home to Canberra, when, after all of that driving and no problems, we blew a tire with no spare. The flat landed us stranded in a rural town in Victoria for the night. Luckily, the tire took 1 hour to fix in the morning and we were on our way again! 

And that brings us back to now! I am still picking up shifts at Bentspoke until I head out, getting everything packed and figured out for my departure and feeling really weird, excited, confused and heartbroken about it all. I don't know what life outside of Canberra is like anymore. I've never felt more at home than I do in Canberra, I adore all of the people I have in my life and I adore the life I have here. It's very unreal that I am actually leaving. Again, I don't think I will actually realise that this is really happening until I get back to the US. This whole experience has been so big and influential on the person that I am right now. When I think of who I was before this trip, I can't honestly say I don't know who that person was a year ago. And yes, it's true that we all change a lot over a year, a year is quite a long time, however, this year for me was changes and growth I've needed for over 5 years. And I've gained nothing but positivity, confidence and happiness from all of it. I'm not scared about what the future holds for me, I have regained a lot of my passion for life, social abilities, love for others and love for myself. I will make my way into my new life, meet new people and have new, beautiful experiences. Things can only go up from here. I just hope I can steal some of my Canberra people to the US! :) 

[updatesfromoz]

The Time Has Come the Walrus Said...

At the very beginning of this year in Australia I often thought of how I would feel in the last months before I left to go back home. I have to admit that despite all of my pondering, I never could have guessed I would feel the way I do right now. My feelings about leaving Australia are so bittersweet. I've seen many of my close friends leave in grief, listing all of the things they would miss about the people and culture here, truly feeling that they were leaving Australia for good. Of course I will miss all of my friends, all of the places I have seen, the attitude/lifestyle of people here, the beautiful weather and scenery, but I have recently realised, I knew from the very start that, no matter how much time I spent in Australia this time around, I would inevitably be back someday (again and again and again). I think a part of my heart has always stayed in Australia since visiting in 2007. My experience here at that time altered the course of my life and is a large part of my identity today. This year has only strengthened my love for Australia. I have accomplished so many things I have always wanted to do in life. I have become the person I have always wanted to be. I've made the best friends I've ever had, regained so much emotion and spirituality I had lost over the last few years of my life and most recently found direction and passion for my future. In a lot of ways, it pains me to think that I literally cannot stay in this country with my current occupational position, however, despite all of the beautiful gifts I have gained in my time here, I am beyond ready to be home! I have never been so excited to see/smell/taste/be/do the mundane things that used to go almost unnoticed in my American life. First off, I'm exhausted of being the foreigner. I am so excited to sound normal and not be asked about my origin by every other person I meet. Secondly, only those who have spent a year deprived of Mexican food will understand how UNBELIEVABLY STOKED I AM TO EAT MEXICAN FOOD. Mexican food all day, everyday, every meal, forever. I'm going to have to design a workout plan that counteracts the sheer amount of calories I will consume everyday in Mexican food upon my arrival. Also, can we talk about beers that cost $2????? $2 beers! This is unreal. And meals for less than $10. And everything that doesn't cost you your entire life's savings. Something I am also very excited to indulge and relax back into is my slang and inside jokes. Although we speak the same language, there are many words and phrases that you have to change to be able to communicate efficiently in daily life. Then there are many more words, phrases or phrasings that I changed about my typical speech to sound work appropriate or polite. A weight will be lifted off my shoulders when I can just speak naturally again. And obviously, I am so excited to see my friends and family, some of which I have not seen in over a year and a half. Most of the time, this year feels like it was a trip less than 6 months until I think about how long it's actually been. A year is a LONG time away from everything you know and love. In later years, I'm sure I will look back on this year and think that it was a tiny blip compared the entire scheme of my life, however, never undermine how long a year actually is. I have missed a lot, a lot has happened and I'm sure a lot will be different when I get home.  So, now that all of that is off my shoulders, I'd like to do 2 things for those of you who are interested! Firstly, I want to give you a little update on what my life has been like the last couple months in Canberra, seeing as I have hardly updated this at all since I've been here. Secondly, I will happily inform you of my short- and long-term plans for the next part of my trip/life back in the States!

As you probably know by now, I started off working 2 jobs (Wig & Pen Brewery and Mocan & Green Grout Cafe). Through both of these places I met a close-knit group of friends who are my bread and butter in Canberra. If I could keep all of these people in my pocket for the rest of my life, I would never need to make another friend again :3 I was living in a share-house with some more really great friends, but was going through a bit of a rough patch, dealing with being entirely alone for the first time in my life, working way too many hours and hermiting a little too much. Then about a month ago one of my roommates moved in with his girlfriend (a good friend of mine as well) and I moved into my boyfriend's family(-ish) household for the remaining couple months. All of this happened almost simultaneously with the Wig & Pen closing temporarily as they move locations, leaving me without my home-away-from-home and regular visits with my Canberra family. So, I decided to get a job at a related pub called Bentspoke Brewing Company, to fill my schedule a little more, allow me to meet more great people, learn new, valuable skills and save up more money for when I return home. Being in this new place has been nothing but good. All of these changes have allowed me to shed my hermit shell, rethink what I need for myself, delve into some of my passions and fully enjoy the last couple months of my trip. I just brewed my first beer almost entirely by myself (it will be a Spiced Grapefruit Saison!!) I've been doing some crafts, hiking more, reading and spending as much time as possible with friends in my free time. 

As for the rest of my time in Australia, I will continue to work at my 2 jobs, save up as much money as possible before returning home and take a trip to Tasmania with my Texan/New Mexican friend, Liz, planned for November 21st-28th! After that I have 2 weeks in Canberra before I fly out of Sydney on December 16th. Upon my arrival to the US, I will be going to Albuquerque, New Mexico for December 16th-December 21st and then hitching a ride back to Texas for Christmas!! I will hopefully return to my job at Freetail Brewing Company again after Christmas and work there while I figure out what I want to do with the next couple years of my life. All of my current ideas seem to be leaning towards doing some sort of additional education in order to become a teacher/camp-counsleor of some sort or working for a larger-scale brewery in their lab/management.  And that's that! I'm sure I will blog again before leaving and I will keep up this blog as a form of reflecting on my return back to the US and life in general, but it's been a pleasure writing at you all during my time in Australia. As well as functioning as a method of updating friends and family, it has been a very important part of my mental clarity and insight during my travels. Thank you for reading and for any feedback! You were all very encouraging and inspiring! LOVE YOU FOREVER and see some of you soon! :))

[updatesfromoz]

Short Ponderings

This week I've been thinking a lot about how much I have enjoyed these last few weeks in Canberra. The microbrewery I work for closed last Friday for 6 weeks to move to a new location and boy was it a hectic, but fun and crazy couple weeks! I said goodbye to the establishment that has allowed me to meet everyone I love in Canberra. But despite how sad the process has been, I feel more than ever that I have finally found my place in this city. The process of closing the brewery brought on new and stronger friendships. I have had more free time already to delve into my running, yoga and art again. Day after day it feels more like a home.

Often I think that I could have continued traveling and seeing new places, but it's been so much more worth it to really experience the entirety of one place than to bounce from one place to the next. People ask me all the time if I've been to X location or have done Y activity in Australia. To be honest, I wouldn't trade my time in Canberra for any skydiving excursion, scuba licence or tropical beach get away. This is and continues to be the best part of my year in Australia. I am so in love with the life I have here and every day it gets better. For me traveling isn't about how many places you see and what cool stuff you do, it's about meeting great people, learning what their lives are like, exchanging good company, learning new skills and expanding your worldview as much as you can. 

[updatesfromoz]

Sleeping on the beach south of Newcastle, the city of Newcastle, pictures of Kim and I and a random beach! 

[updatesfromoz]

Ashram photos! Just some photos of the grounds and the Balderdash crew! Raphael, Dominik, Ana, Me, Romana and bald Lyess :)

[updatesfromoz]

Photos from the very beginning of my road trip! Top: Tidbinbilla park outside of Canberra, where I saw some wild Emus! Middle: Pebbly Beach with Kim and Marek. Bottom: Somewhere north of Sydney just before the Ashram. It was our first night sleeping in the tent!

[updatesfromoz]

Stillness in the Move

After leaving our wonderful host family in Dorrigo, a quick stop in Newcastle and camping one night in the bush, one night on the beach, I am happy to announce Alan and I have FINALLY made it to Canberra!!!!! Thanks to a magical little substance called Chemiweld, the car is running like a dream even after 1000 kilometers from the central coast to Canberra. Better yet, the stuff might even be a permanent fix! I'm pretty excited considering I thought I would be scrapping the car only 3 days ago. The other good news is I have moved into my very own house with 2 lovely roommates! I spent yesterday sleeping in for the first time in months and unpacking my backpack (quickest move-in process ever!) Although very nice, it is a very weird feeling to be in my own place! For the last 4 months, it has been an almost daily struggle to find a shower, a place to sleep, a way to charge our phones and get internet. These were things that sometimes took the whole day to accomplish. To now have these things at my disposal feels surreal. I get excited to plug my phone in, my heart jumps when I get into my comfortable, warm bed; I have yet to take a shower but I'm sure it will be glorious!! However, I still feel a bit lost. The daily struggles became my routine, something that I felt comfortable doing. Movement was something that I became dependent on. Getting to Canberra has felt like going 100 MPH and then hitting a brick wall; I'm not sure what happened, but I'm not moving anymore. Yesterday after unpacking, I found myself pacing the house, my subconscious's way of trying to keep traveling. Life is almost too easy here! I'm sure it will take a while to get adjusted to a more stable way of life, but I am ready for it. This last month was exhausting and I am ready to settle down, relax and enjoy the company of good people while working towards my next goal. This has been such an amazing journey that couldn't have happened without all the support I received from my family, friends (old and new), co-workers, WWOOF hosts and strangers. Thank you all so much. I don't know if I will ever be able to return the immense kindness, wisdom and love I have received. But, just because I am settling into Canberra for a while does not mean my travels are over. I still have plans for New Zealand, Southeast Asia and Europe in the near future. I have made a lot of mistakes and learned a lot this last 5 months and I don't plan to let any of go to waste. My next travels will be smarter, less stressful and less pressure with more growing, experiencing, learning and loving! Cheers everyone, have a great week:) GO SPURS GO!!

[updatesfromoz]

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Maya Angelou (via blurrymelancholy)