upryamadeline

[upryamadeline]

Seblina kid

(So there’s a lot of uncertainty w/ this just because things would be different if they had a kid in the happy AU/later after all of this is over/if Lina is rescued before she had her kid VS. if she had her kid while still being married to Vardon, etc. etc. because those are two very different environments to grow up in!!!! For this, I’m going to assume that he’s technically seblina’s kid, but born as Vardon’s but eventually espaces with his mom and lives at the lighthouse w/ both parents

Name: haha lmao officially it’s probably Victor Xavier or Xavier Victor depending on what Xavier goes with but I feel like neither Seb nor Lina would appreciate either of those names!!! so his feel name is probably something else!! Can see them naming him after Nathaniel??? Since Nathaniel was Seb’s bff and helped them escape Vardon! 

Gender: Male

General Appearance: tall and thin, wears a lot of sweaters

Personality: Seems quiet and reserved, but isn’t if he knows/trusts you. Overall, a really good kid who just wants to do the right thing but he does have a mischievous streak!!! loves make others smile and laugh. the sweetest kid!!!! can tell when you are upset or sad and does his best to remedy that. Doesn’t like letting others know when he’s feeling sad or scared b/c he’s determined to stay strong for his parents, especially his mom

Special Talents: skipping stones, climbing trees/scaling the walls @ vardon’s, outsmarting his tutors, exploring!!!! - knows every inch of land on vardon’s estate (the places he’s allowed to go … and some, where he isn’t) and could navigate it in the dark 

Who they like better: both!!!! but tbh probably closer w/ lina since most likely only rarely saw his dad growing up thanks to his dad having to sneak in to see him (#goals)

Who they take after more: Seb

Personal Head canon: Loves the ocean!!!! (honestly a given for any Gray tbh ;DDD) Is BFF’s with Seb’s dog who is also super protective of him; likes to collect stones/rocks from the beach; has a pet frog; adores aunt beatrice and aunt vera and is spoiled by both

Face Claim: Thomas Brodie-Sangster

[upryamadeline]

you ever just want to move to a remote lighthouse and wear wellies and cable-knit sweaters 24/7 and only have to deal with people when they bring you supplies every now and again

[upryamadeline]

His presence lit up my life and ever since he’s been gone I’ve been navigating a long dark hallway with so many obstacles in front of me that I can no longer see without his light.

— how can I survive without him? // a.m.m, 6:06am

[upryamadeline]

“no matter how far away you roam, the sea will always call you home”

— from the sirens, with love // a.i.w.

[upryamadeline]

vera knight - earth

bea crandon - air

madeline vardon - water

veronica hartwright - fire

[upryamadeline]

upryaxavier:

He watched her as she strolled past him to warm her hands before the fire.  She hardly smiled, hardly looked at him, but Xavier didn’t entirely mind.  As long as he triumphed in the end, he was quite fond of a challenge, and Lina seemed to become more radiant everyday, so he was confident the challenge was worth his while.  And, most importantly of all, already she carried his child, promising a future filled with many strong sons.

Xavier took several quick steps towards her but didn’t go so very close to her, as - having been indoors the whole while - it was too hot for him to come any closer to the flames.  But then, he considered with a frown, she was no doubt much more accustomed to heat than he, himself, having lived for a few years in the South.  Quickly, he turned his flexible mind towards another subject.  Her stint in Arcadia was not something he much liked to contemplate.  Perhaps, he told himself instead, that was why she so liked to walk in the snow - it helped her forget the heat of the South.  This line of reason pleased him much more than the one he had entertained just before and a smile found its way back to his lips.

Xavier frowned when Lina told him that the little one was proving troublesome, but the feeling stopped, his heart seemed to plummet.  Xavier had never seen her face change the way it did, eyes dancing, lips drawing into a bright grin, a tease.  Surely, that was an intimacy, and such an affectionate one, Xavier took a step closer, despite the heat.  Yes, yes, he’d been right.  Yes, she wanted to forget Arcadia, yes, he would prevail in the challenge of unlocking her heart.  

He felt warm, a pleasant heat, deep in his belly and reached out to place his hand under her chin, turn her to look towards him.  “There she is,” whispered Xavier, dropping his hand away.  He regarded her for a long moment.  No, he did not fully understand her yet, but he would.  This, this moment, he thought: it was the most genuine he’d ever seen in her.  “Our son,” he assured her.  “Will be strong.  He will bring vigor and pride to both his parents and he will raise Uprya by my side.  As our family grows great and strong, so shall our nation.  We will be unstoppable and you, Madeline, at my side shall be its glorious queen.  Tell me,” he added, softly.  “Does that not suit you?”

She tried not to shrink from him, but as soon as he reached out to touch her, she impulsively took a step back. His speech had been meant to please her, she knew, but the image he had painted of their future together scared her. She wanted none of it. “I -- I don’t think I’d like to be a queen.” She dropped her gaze, unable to look at him, just now. She wished she hadn’t said it; she wished she hadn’t said anything, if she could not bring herself to agree with him. 

Beatrice had always been able to be lively and charming, even when surrounded by enemies. She’d always known how to play the game: it was how she had been able to stay in it for so long. But this had never come easily for Lina. She didn’t know how to say things she didn’t mean. She let a brief moment of silence pass between them, painfully aware that she could not afford to upset him, as she tried to think of what to say next that might make her last words seem like less of a rejection. “It’s only ... it all seems rather daunting.” 

Lina took a small step back towards him, closing the gap between them by half. She dropped her gaze to her stomach, placing a hand on her abdomen, “But our son will have parents who love him, and that does make me happy.” She had seen the way he was with his girls. To Vardon, his wives were prizes he had won: trophies to be kept under lock and key lest they become tarnished. But his children were his flesh and blood; for all of his many flaws, he loved them dearly and unconditionally. “I don’t think my father ever cared for me, not really ... “ She only ever mattered to him when he realized that Vardon might be interested. Before that, he was happy to see her marry Seb, for no other reason that he would no longer have to support her. “But things for will be different for him, won’t they?” 

She prayed that they would.

Praying | Xavier & Lina

[upryamadeline]

upryavera:

Vera sighed shaking her head slightly. “I suppose its not as terrible as it might be,” Vera confessed, glancing back up at Jack and Seb. “He may be a bit uncouth, but he seems to respond well to Virginia’s payments, so I don’t feel as if he might pull over and push me out of the car along the side of the road.”

She’d never admit it, but after the time they’d spent together travelling back and forth across the countryside, there was no one she trusted more to be her companion. Despite their prickly attitude towards one another, he had given her no reason to distrust him.

“I suppose it is dangerous, in a sense…” Vera didn’t see it that way, really. Often she and Jack were travelling through southern controlled territory so the only danger might be a rogue undead, though things were changing now that the north had taken some of their lands. “No like it is with Bea, though. Not only is there the danger of being discovered, I suppose there’s also the danger of being utterly bored to death being married to Victor Cradon!”

Now that Lina was in the south along with Veronica,  Vera was eager for Bea to return as well. She knew Bea was doing good work for the cause, but it had been years and, selfishly, she wanted her little surrogate family back safe with her. 

“Now that I’ve managed to find proper cushions, I’m quite happy in my little apartment back in town,”  Vera assured her, though her quarters would never suit her fancy. “Perhaps one day, once things have settled, I might see if father’s family estate has survived…” Vera mused. She wondered what he would think about his disgraced only child returning home after all these years.  

“Shall we head back?” Vera suggested, gesturing towards the lighthouse. “Jack is such a stickler about packing the car light, but I persuded him to bring along some supplies for you both. And I would be quite happy to have Jack cook this evening,”  she continued as if she had the authority to command Jack cook for them. “He is surprisingly not terrible at it, if you can believe such a thing.”

“I can’t imagine it,” Lina agreed. “I’m not sure how she manages.” She exhaled, “And now she’s all alone.” She knew that Bea was there, fighting for a better tomorrow, but what a miserable existence! Lina had been able to escape that life, but her sister was not so lucky. It was a life that Bea had chosen and one in which she excelled. Lina knew the truth, but to see her sister with Victor ... even she would believe she loved him; one would believe that she stood squarely on their side. If she could not play her role with such conviction, Lina would be sick with worry every moment. 

“I hope she will come home, soon.” She said, knowing full-well that Bea would never leave her position in the North unless the South prevailed or ... 

She bit her lip, trying not to think of the alternative, “Have you heard from Bea? It’s been a long time, since I’ve had one of her letters.” Beatrice wrote her whenever she was able: but her letters were infrequent and they were always riddled with false praise for her husband, for Vardon, and pleas for Lina to return to the North in case her letters were ever intercepted. 

“I’m sure it still stands,” Lina said, hopeful. It had stood strong throughout the outbreak; she was certain that it would outlast the war, too. “What was it like?” She asked, “Your childhood home?” She liked to imagine Vera returning there, once all of this was over, and setting up a comfortable home to match her standards. Perhaps she might even be able to repair the relationship she had once had with her father ... 

Lina agreed that it was time to head back to the house: the sun was starting to slowly set on the horizon and soon it would be dark. “You’ve brought us supplies!” She exclaimed, “Thank you! Are you sure you can spare them?” She asked. “But that would be lovely,” Lina said in response to Vera’s suggestion that Jack cook for them, “Of course, if he’d rather not, it isn’t any trouble -- I’m sure you both are exhausted.” 

Where the Skies Are Blue (flashback) | Vera & Lina

[upryamadeline]

upryasebastian:

“I love you,” she said.  Seb felt the words flow over him, felt his chest constrict.  Her hands were on his face and he closed his eyes, leaned softly into her touch.  “Lina,” he murmured, his hands ringed her waist, resting on her hips, his eyes fluttered open to find hers: big brown orbs directed on his face.  “Lina, I adore you, hm,” he said.  “I love you.”  Reaching up, he put his hand over hers, turned his face to kiss her palm, tenderly, traced his finger along her hair.  I don’t ever want to be apart, he wanted to say, but she knew it and it was more cruel than kind to say now.  Impatiently, he blotted his tears away.

Concern splashed across his consciousness.  His expression turned stern.  “Is he good to you?” he asked.  “Does he hurt you?”  He didn’t know what he could possibly do to help regardless, but…he had to know.  One way or another, he had to know.  “Tell me the truth, Lina, please.  Is he good to you?”

Despite everything, Seb chuckled when he heard her assessment.  “Five minutes in after all this and you’re already chiding me,” he teased, running his finger along her jaw tenderly.  He wanted to ask to come home with him, wanted to challenge her to make him do it, but he couldn’t ask.  He couldn’t ask, even in jest, not when her sister’s life was on the line.  Seb quirked a brow.  “You know I never did like sleeping alone.”  He found he liked it even less now than he ever had before.  He drew a long breath, nodded.  “I’ll promise that,” he began, slowly.  “If you’ll promise the same, hm?”  Gently, he placed his hand over his abdomen.  “Besides, you’re not just worrying about yourself now.”

She was clinging to him and Seb pulled her close, stroking her back and hair soothingly, kissed the top of her head.  He knew she didn’t want to send him away any more than he wanted to go and, somehow, he drew strength from knowing it.  Alike even in this, he thought.  “Shhhhh,” he whispered, “I know.  I know.”  Seb breathed in the scent of her, held her close.  “I love you, Lina.  I won’t forget.  I won’t.  I’ll be back for you.  I’m come for you, I promise.”  He didn’t know when, didn’t know well, but like hell he’d leave her here to rot.  He didn’t have it in him to do that.

She told him to go back to the door.  Cupping her face in his hands, he gazed at her, nodded, kissed her once more.  Holding his hands up in surrender, Seb slowly backed away towards the door again, smiled towards her half-indulgently.  “Better?” he inquired, back against the door.  It wasn’t better, not by a long shot, but it was safer, safer for them both.  He knew he should never have put her in that position, but somehow he didn’t regret it.  He would never regret holding her.

Seb opened his mouth to reply, realized he had nothing to say that could ease her mind, closed it again.  “I’ll be more careful,” he promised, finally, nodding slowly.  It had never been his strong suit, being careful, but he’d promised a long time ago that he would never be careless with her heart.  He feared, now, the two were beginning to overlap.  “But I won’t give you up, Lina.  I can’t.”

Lina shook her head, desperate to ease his concerns, “No, he hasn’t hurt me. And he won’t.” Especially now that he thought she was carrying his child. “Seb, I’m alright. I am,” She promised, taking one of his hands into her’s, lacing their fingers together. “I’m not alone. He let’s me see Bea.” Lina hadn’t expected that. She wished they could be together more than they were, but she was grateful for the time they did have. She wasn’t sure she would have made it through, otherwise. “He’s as good to me as he knows how.”

He would deny her nothing: save the things she wanted most in the world.

It was good to hear him laugh. Seb’s questions about Vardon had made her tense. It felt like a betrayal, somehow, to talk to him about her life with Vardon. But seeing him smile like that, like how he used to when they’d been happy, made her feel, just for a moment, as though everything else might have only been a bad dream. “Yes, well you need someone to scold you.” Lina smiled, too, her eyes bright as she teased him.

You know I never did like sleeping alone.

She never had, either. She used to lie awake nights: always more afraid of her own father than she ever had been of the undead. When their father was in an especially fowl mood, the three of them used to sleep together in Beatrice’s room. Even then, with her sisters round her, she’d never felt safe closing her eyes. She remembered the first night that she and Seb had spent together: how he’d held her in his arms with her head resting on his chest until she fell asleep. She’d never felt so safe; so peaceful; so loved. Her heart ached for home.

She nodded, resting her hand on top of his as it settled on her abdomen. “I promise. I couldn’t neglect myself even if I wanted to. I feel as though there’s always someone about to make sure I’m alright.” It was part of the problem: she was hardly ever alone. “But who is there to look after you?” She could hardly say the words; they came out as almost a whisper. Vera would, she knew. And so would his cousin. But what she feared the most were those hours he’d pass alone. It broke her heart of think of him like that. “When you don’t eat and you don’t sleep, know that I am very cross with you!” She’d meant to say it teasingly, but it was all she could do to keep from crying. 

When at last he moved back to the door, she found breathed a little easier. She wanted him near, but she wanted him safe, too. They’d been together too long already and she knew she should send him away even further, still. But she didn’t have it in her, just yet.

When he refused to promise her that he would not come back, Lina shook her head; frustrated that he would not listen. “You’re so stubborn!” She cried. Still, she knew that he would not make her a promise he had not intention of keeping. She could not be angry at him for that.

She paused for a moment, considering her next words carefully, uncertain if she wanted to say them at all. Finally, she exhaled, defeated, and took a key from her pocket. “If you are determined to come back, this may help you. At least, until they discover mine is missing and then it will be useless. There is almost always someone with me and I rarely need to use it, myself. It will let you into the west wing where he keeps us. Once inside the foyer, take the first door on the right. It leads into a corridor with my rooms at the end of it. If I’m alone, I put a light in my window. If i’m not, you must promise me you will turn around and leave straight away. You must.” She would not give it to him, if he could not promise her that. “If anyone should stop you, say you have a private message for me from Vardon. No one will question you.”

Deadly Valentine | Seb & Lina

[upryamadeline]

“Walks in the moonlight by the sea.”

— James Joyce, from The Complete Works; “Ulysses,” (edited)

[upryamadeline]

upryalouisa:

Louisa smiled as she settled into her chair across from Madeline. “We’re simply delighted there will be another child in the family!” Louisa informed her as she leaned forward to fish a single cube of sugar out of the bowl for her tea. “I know Xavier had probably told you this already, but I will spoil your to bits. There is no stopping Auntie Lulu,” she grinned, dropping the sugar cube into her tea with a slightly plop. 

Her demeanor sobered at Lina’s question. She let out a small sigh and shook her head. “As best as one might be, all things considered,” she confessed. “All will be much better once Xavier brings Howard home… which he has assured me will be as soon as possible,” she reached forward to pick up a small biscuit from the plate on the table. “But we do worry… I hope they aren’t hurting him. Do you think they would?” she asked before she had even realized the words left her mouth. Rebecca had cautioned against bringing up her time in the south with Madeline.

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized quickly. “I didn’t mean… that is… oh dear,” she took a bite of biscuit in order to stop herself from talking. Once she’d swallowed the bite, she dared to speak again. “You know we’re all so pleased you’re back from there, Madeline,” she informed her. “Not just Xavier, all of us.”

Lina smiled. It was forced, and a little sad, but she managed to smile all the same. She couldn’t think of her unborn child without mixed emotions. She was hopeful and overjoyed; terrified and miserable all at once.

“You’re so good with them,” She said. Lina hadn’t gotten to know the girls, herself. Her relationship with them was complicated, too. She supposed they were her step-children, since she was married now to their father but their mother was, also. Her own relationship with Gwen was a bit uncertain, lately. She’d been eager to show her the ropes when she’d arrived (something for which Lina had been grateful for), but lately she’d been colder towards her. Lina wasn’t sure what the cause had been for the change but she thought that developing a relationship with Gwen’s children wouldn’t settle well with their mother. Still, they both seemed to be sweet, if not incredibly spoiled, girls. For all of Xavier’s many, many faults, even Lina could see that he loved his daughters dearly. It was his one redeeming quality.

“They will be dearly loved by so many,” Lina agreed, placing a hand on her abdomen. She smiled then: it was a comforting thought. Whatever happened to her, her child would be kept safe. Vardon would never let anything happen to his children … as long as he never suspected that there was any chance that it was not his. She did her best to push those thoughts away: it would do more harm than good if she worried about it now. “And extremely lucky to have an aunt such as you.” She added.

Lina’s gaze dropped when Louisa asked her if they would hurt her brother. It was a complicated question: one that Lina was unsure how to answer. She also had to keep in mind that, as far as Louisa knew, Lina herself had once been a captive there.

“No, I … it’s alright, I don’t mind … It’s just … “ She bit her lip. “I don’t wish to deceive you … I wish I could tell you that they wouldn’t do such a thing, but … the truth is, the Southerners feel they have been wronged by Vardon and they will do anything to overthrow him. They’ve done terrible things,” Lina admitted: the murder of Louisa’s parents coming immediately to mind (it was no wonder she hated them so!), “But they aren’t monsters. And I don’t believe that they would needlessly harm your brother. That being said, if he does not cooperate with their demands … “ She didn’t say the words aloud, but they hung there in the air between them. She wished she hadn’t started to say anything, at all.

Lina shook her head. She knew how Virginia could be: when Vardon hit her, she would hit back just as hard. Vardon had murdered her family and see looked at the Priors and saw her opportunity for revenge. In the war between the North and the South, Lina would stand with Virginia until the end: but that did not mean that she always saw eye to eye with her. She wished she was not so eager to always take an eye for an eye. 

“What I do know how much Vardon cares for your brother. He won’t abandon him.” Lina feared for the South on the day Vardon came for him. How many men and women would die? Would the information gained from Howard be worth it?

She reached across the table and squeezed Lou’s hand affectionately. She wanted to say something more, but the words couldn’t come. Even now for Lou’s sake, she couldn’t quite form the words to agree with her: she wished that she was anywhere in the world but here.

Time for Tea || Louisa + Lina

[upryamadeline]

[upryamadeline]

“I am the sea and nobody owns me.”

— Pippi Longstocking. Dir. Clive A. Smith. 

[upryamadeline]

The Hartwrights + colors/exits and entrances 

[upryamadeline]

Lina stood by the window, watching the rain beat against the pane of glass, wishing she was anywhere else in the world. She didn’t like being alone with her thoughts. She felt so trapped; so helpless. She feared for Seb; for Bea; for her unborn child; for everyone they’d left in the South. There was so much that could go wrong and so little she felt she could do to prevent it. 

She was grateful for the knock at the door that roused her from her thoughts. “Yes, please stay. I would love some,” Her countenance brightened at the prospect. She was eager for the distraction.

She didn’t always see eye to eye with Louisa Prior, but she also knew her well enough to know why she thought the things she did and she knew that her heart had always been in the right place. The Priors had always been so closely linked to Xavier Vardon, that it was hard to see his faults from their vantage point. He treated them like family and if you were a willing part of Vardon’s inner circle, than it was a comfortable place to be. 

She thanked Louisa for the tea she’d poured as she took a seat across from her. “I am! Today has been much easier than yesterday and yesterday better than the day before. Dr. Cranton says that soon it shouldn’t bother me anymore. I hope he’s right.” She took a sip of tea: it was warm and soothing. Settling the cup back carefully into the saucer, she looked back up at Louisa. “How are you?” She asked. 

She meant, specifically, in light of what had happened to her brother, but she did not dare ask outright in case Louisa didn’t wish to talk about it. She knew what it was like to hear that your sibling was at the mercy of the enemy. She knew, better than most, what you would do to ensure their safety. She also wished she could tell Louisa that she was sure that Howard would be alright. But she knew she couldn’t: she’d promised not to discuss how she’d willingly left the North for the South four years before. As far as Louisa knew, her loyalties were, and always had been, with the North. 

Time for Tea || Louisa + Lina

“Knock knock! Hope I’m not interrupting!”

Louisa knew she wasn’t interrupting anything, as she’d been the one who’d intercepted the servant carrying tea up to Madeline’s room, taking the tray in order to bring it herself so that the two ladies might have a chance to chat.  Louisa felt like she’d barely seen Madeline since she’d been rescued from the south, though she knew the poor woman had been suffering terribly from morning sickness lately. 

“I thought you might like some company with your tea today,” she offered as she entered the room, setting the tray down on the table. Madeline fascinated Louisa. She couldn’t imagine being snatched from by some southern ruffian and taken away like the woman had been– it seemed like something that might take place in a rather scandalous novel, the kind Rebecca would undoubtedly chastise her for reading. She wanted to ask Madeline dozens of questions, but knew better than to pester the woman. She was carrying Xavier’s child and upsetting her by bringing up such a traumatic experience would not be good for either mother or baby. 

“You look like you’re feeling better. Xavier mentioned your morning sickness has been terrible,” Louisa commented as she set about pouring tea for the pair. 

[upryamadeline]

upryavera:

Vera smiled, one hand holding tightly to get hat to keep it from being taken by the wind. She could see why Lina and Sebastian had chosen to come here. It was peaceful, out by the sea, far enough from the city to be away from the commotion but still close enough not to be completely secluded from the world. 

She and Jack rarely came this way, most of their errands taking them the opposite direction. She felt like the pair of them had been on the move constantly lately, but with the Northern forces creeping closer and closer onto southern lands, much information was travelling back and forth from stronghold to stronghold. 

“I’m sure Mr. Lewis is just happy to have another man to talk to,” Vera replied, accomplied by one of her signature eye rolls. Jack had insisted on singing loudly, and off key, most of their drive up. Vera was happy to let him bother someone else for at least a short time. 

“It looked much better before we left but he insists on driving like a lunatic. His hair looks like a bird’s nest by the time we arrive most places,” Vera continued as they moved slowly along the shoreline. The sounds of the waves was soothing and knew the sound would lull her to sleep quickly that night.  “If I”m captured in the north as a southern spy, it will be the fault of Mr. Lewis and his inability to look presentable!”

She smiled at her friend’s comment. At one point her influence did know no bounds. Lina was one of the few people in the south who knew of Vera from her days as a trendsetter back in the north– what Vera wore, what she did, what she said was observed and copied. She did not miss that power, though a bit of influence over Jack in such a way would be nice at times.

“I must say when I was told you and Mr. Gra– Sebastian,” she paused, correcting herself. She was used to formalities and rarely deviated, even after years of living in the south. Nicknames were something she rarely used, though she had known her friend as Lina for so long, it hardly seemed like a nickname anymore. 

“When I was told you were living in a lighthouse out here so far from town, I thought you must be mad. Now that I’ve seen it…,” she paused for affect. “Its lovely. Everyone will want their own lighthouse to escape to on holiday,” her tone and sentiment was sincere. Honestly, in Vera’s opinion, after managing to escape from Vardon’s wandering gaze, Lina could live in a hole in the ground if it made she and Seb happy.

“Oh, dear. That sounds awful.” Lina said, casting another glance up where Jack Lewis was standing with her husband. She didn’t know him well, but she did know that he could be a handful. She imagined him driving through these dirt country roads with a wild and reckless abandon, all the while being scolded by Vera who would manage to still look dignified through the whole thing. “I hope he knows what he’s doing. What you do is already so awfully dangerous ...” 

She knew Vera was intelligent and capable and brave, but that did not stop her from worrying. It was easy, living here, to forget that there was a war. But there was no forgetting for someone like Vera; for someone like her sister who braved new dangers everyday. Xavier Vardon was a powerful and influential man, but Lina firmly believed that he would not (could not!) win out in the end. She just hoped and prayed that nothing happened to Vera or Beatrice before that time. She wanted them to know what it was like to feel safe; to feel blissfully happy. 

She laughed: Vera’s comment regarding Jack’s inability to look presentable pushed away her more serious thoughts, “Is his appearance really so unprepossessing as that?” She asked. Of course, no one had higher standards than Vera Knight when it came to how one should present oneself ... and from what she knew of Jack, dressing to impress was the least of his priorities. 

Lina smiled, looking out across the ocean. “It’s so beautiful; so peaceful.” She agreed, “It’s like paradise.” She’d never been so happy, as she was here. Her time living in the capital (and the few years she remembered from even before that) seemed like another lifetime. “I hope you have a place like this of your own one day.” It didn’t seem fair, Lina thought, that she should have escaped so much while those closest to her must still suffer through it all. 

Where the Skies Are Blue (flashback) | Vera & Lina

[upryamadeline]

upryasebastian:

Reaching up, Seb cradled her face in his hands.  Her eyes were dark and deep, pools in which a man could gladly drown.  They were desperate, those eyes, desperate and searching, but he couldn’t do other than gaze for a moment, feel the weight of them on his skin as though they had the power to see into his beating heart.  He smiled tragically.  Maybe they did.  Her words - nothing has changed - were sweet balm and he was glad, then, gladder even then before, to be touching her face so tenderly.  Yet, she ended with a sharper sentiment still, and Seb shook his head.  “Lina, you will never loose me,” he assured her.  “Never.”

Words seemed to catch in her throat and Seb nodded.  He took both her elbows in both his hands.  He understood well enough and he preferred it left at that.  Much as it pained him to think of it, he knew it was for the best.  If even Lina did not know, how could she betray the secret if it were not?  For all that he detested the idea of it, in and of itself, and for all that he wanted a child of his own with her, he hoped that the baby was, in fact, Vardon’s.  That was the safest option.  If it were not, Seb prayed that the child resemble Lina deeply.  It was the only way.  

He shook his head.  “No, no,” he said.  “No, don’t be.  It’s better this way.”  He ran his thumb gently across her cheek, shook his head, again.  “It’s better this way.  Safer.”  But he knew well and good that she wasn’t merely talking about the confusion of paternity - she meant the whole situation, the whole mess that had consumed their lives raw and he glanced away, unseeingly.  He refused to picture what their lives might be otherwise - it would do no good.

Seb nodded.  “Good,” he replied.  He said it as though it were simple, as though the words didn’t taste poisonous in his mouth.  “It’s for the best.  He can’t ever suspect anything else.”

One arm wrapped around her waist, Seb raised the other to her head, nestled his own head against her shoulder to breathe her in.  He didn’t say anything, leaning his head against hers, running fingers soothingly up and down her spine.  He wished to tell her it was going to alright, but he didn’t want to lie to her and he didn’t know the truth.  Tears pricked at his own eyes, but he refused to shed them, preferred anger to vulnerability.  One could achieve so much more than the other.

And then she kissed him.  Her lips were soft, a breath of spring against his cold bones, and her hands on him were a zephyr of hope.  He responded in kind, hands on her hips pulling her closer as their lips touched, deepened.  He wound his arms round her, bringing one to catch the back of her neck, entwine with her hair.  It didn’t matter to him, in that moment, if all Vardon’s army barged in on them, then and there: he couldn’t find it in him to stop kissing her, to pull away, to leave.  Her lips were a safe harbor too long in reaching and he kissed her like a half-drowned sailor washed ashore: as though he would drown and she were all that could save him.  He kissed her as though it were the last chance.

When at last it ended, tears streaked his face.  Seb rested his brow against hers, still holding her tight, reluctant to let her go.  He closed his eyes.  “Don’t send me away,” he whispered, but he knew better.  They had no choice.  Sooner or later, he must leave her.

She buried her head in his chest. She wished it would all fade away and when she reached up to kiss him, for a time it did. For those brief fleeting moments, the world fell away and all of the pain and the worry and the sorrow melted away with it. And he was all that was left. She felt like staying like this forever. She wished that they could.  “I love you,” She said, softly.

Slowly she opened her eyes to meet his, holding back the tears that wanted to come. One hand was still back around his neck, while with the other she reached up to tenderly touch his face. He looked so worn; his eyes betraying a deep exhaustion. “You’re not sleeping.” She said. “You need to sleep.” She didn’t think he was eating much, either. He felt slimmer when her arms were round him. “You need to take care of yourself. Promise me that you will?”

Don’t send me away.

Suddenly, her mouth felt dry and she wasn’t sure she could get the words out. She was clinging to him still and her heart pleaded to stay like this for one moment longer, all the while her head told her that he should have gone long ago … that he should have never come, at all. “I have to. You know I have to.”

She took a step back, reluctantly disentangling herself from his embrace once more. "At least back to the door.” She instructed, taking a step away.

She quickly wiped the tears from her ears with the back of her hand with the efficiency of someone who had had too much practice. “Seb – Seb, before you go … you need to listen to me: you can’t come back. You can’t. Not for a long time. Someone is with me almost every moment … and it’s only going to get worse. Don’t come back unless you are certain you can get in and out safely.” She shook her head, determined not to cry, “Don’t do anything foolish.”

Deadly Valentine | Seb & Lina