usbib0810

[usbib0810]

just overheard my dad on the phone going “yeah, i’d be more than happy to buy her daughter off of you, how much would you be willing to trade her for?” and got Very Worried for a second before remembering that he manages dairy farms for a living. surely there’s gotta be a better way to word that man

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[usbib0810]

will you love him?? 🥺 will you buy. hats.

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I wish to purchase goods and services without entering a blood covenant that entitles the provider to email and text me forever and also store a bunch of my personal data that they’re going to apologize for exposing in a breach in the next five to ten years

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Something that comes up often in art that's about artists is that you'll be told that this character made an amazing, record-shattering, highly acclaimed book or movie or song or whatever and then you'll see the piece of art they made and it's painfully mid. Like, you have to accept that within the world of the story being told, that's the most amazing piece of art ever but you're sitting there like, "There's no way that would ever catch on like that IRL."

Anyway, shout out to KPop Demon Hunters for sidestepping that problem entirely by having the in universe songs chart so high IRL that they beat out actual established KPop groups, proving definitively that those songs WOULD have set the charts on fire and beat out their competition even as the new kids on the block.

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Hey. Don't worry. I'm all out of HP. See how I'm lowering my head and my face is shrouded in shadow? That's because I'm too exhausted and demoralized to keep fighting. The remix of my character theme has stopped playing and everything. You should come closer.

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[usbib0810]

hi gang. reminder that we are some of the best sweaters in the animal kingdom (second only to equines) allowing us to stay cool and keep moving in hot weather. we have 10 times the density of sweat glands compared to other great apes.

we are ALSO insanely good at smelling rain (specifically geosmin, found in the soil and activated by rain) with the ability to smell 10 parts per trillion. this is speculated to have helped our ancestors survive!

we ALSO have absolutely batshit diets compared to most other animals. caffeine and chocolate are completely toxic to most animals but we can eat it without even feeling sick. even avocados are severely toxic to many animals to the point where it can be fatal to eat, but humans love it!!!

we are ALSO the best endurance runners ON EARTH out of ANY other species. we beat horses in endurance running. you know, the animals that gradually evolved away most of their toes in order to be the best runners?? yeahhh.

and to top it all off. our lifespan is unusually long for our species' weight/mass. typically, the bigger a species is, the longer its average lifespan (e.g. domestic mice live for 1-3 years, whales can live over 200) but we're very small for how long our average lifespan is. big cats like tigers live around 14-15 years, brown bears 25 years, yet here we are expected to live around 75-85 years. that is NUTS.

humans as a species are so extremely cool. it's not just our intellect that makes us amazing. we may not be the fastest or the strongest in the animal kingdom but we're super cool in many other ways. next time you sweat you can go wow!!! humans are so cool I'm able to keep moving because of my absolutely insane number of sweat glands! thank you evolution!

[usbib0810]

if u make clark kent say soda you are grossly mischaracterizing him and i wont stand for it

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I think now that queens dead they should have her stuffed and put on display in Cairo for the next 150 years.

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it must suck to do an assassinate and have everyone cheering you on and hyping you up cuz you can’t tell anyone you did it. you have to keep that information to yourself.

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Gentle reminder that the human eye is naturally drawn by noise and movement, so the next time you walk into a crowd or a bit late into a lecture or something like that, they’re not staring at you or judging; it’s just an instinctive reaction that has nothing to do with you doing anything wrong.

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i hate when a piece of kids media is so well made that people start saying "clearly this was made FOR adults not for silly little babies. we are the true target demographic" like cmon man. you don't have to pretend it's something it isn't. sometimes things that are made for 12 year olds are good.

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it's crazy that you used to be able to look up specific clips from a tv show on youtube. now regardless of your search terms you get 6 unrelated promo reels from the show's official account, 6 unrelated clips of literally anything else youtube thinks you might click on, 6 unrelated promo reels from the network's official account, 6 more completely arbitrary recommendations, 6 show trailers and publicity videos of the actors by content mills called 'pop glutton' and 'comedy chunk' and finally raw gameplay footage of a mobile freemium slots game and a video essay called Liberals Can't Belive It: 10 Times Hitler Was Shockingly Woke