uselessghost

[uselessghost]

How come it’s so easy for you to want someone online as a fling but when it deals with me and real emotions, it’s harder for you to actually want me

[uselessghost]

An animal truly gives you another type of happiness and reassurance. Your pet is always there and doesn’t judge you even when they should.

[uselessghost]

I’m tired of fighting. Fighting for you, for me, and for us. I’m tired of trying to help us. Me trying means shit to anyone. So what the fuck am I doing

[uselessghost]

I’m tired of every single thing. I’m tired of this house. I’m tired of my family. I’m tired of living. I’m tired of everything and anything that deals with this earth. I will never be good enough for anyone and it’s time to go ahead and accept that .

[uselessghost]

Truth of the matter is, you’d never tell anyone not even your parents that it wasn’t always my fault. You’ll say I’m crazy, manipulative, controlling and whatever you decide to add to it. But just cause you can’t admit to your own faults. It’s never your fault and it’s always me who triggers all the foul language you say towards me. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who started it. Respect should ALWAYS be there.

[uselessghost]

Guys am I really that bad of a person? Is talking to you in a calm way and then being cussed out and being rude towards me really necessary? Do I deserve that? Quite honestly I don’t think anyone should be talked in that way but who am I right? Some worthless person typing useless feelings that don’t matter

[uselessghost]

I’m tired of living. I’m tired of feeling like I’m a worthless piece of shit. I will never be good enough for my family’s eyes. I will always be ugly, dumb, fat and everything else my dad calls me.

But now I’m in a relationship. Guess what? With the way he talks to me I once again feel worthless. Between name calling and not giving a fuck about me leaving the house and just being flat out mean towards me and well I’m the problem right?

[uselessghost]

Please explain to me how it’s always me being mad first ( even when I’m calm, cool, collective) and somehow someway I make him mad to the point where I get disrespected? But yet I’m not cussing and being an asshole towards him? I talk every fouls language and name calling he calls me. I take it all and he STILL says it’s always me who starts the he problem

[uselessghost]

There comes a time when you need to realize, no matter what you do they’re not going to be happy. You could be there through each teardrop,each stressful moment, always there listening.

BUT

The moment you shed a teardrop, “ you’re a baby”.

The moment you show frustration and anger, “ you’re immature “.

The moment YOU roll your eyes, “ you’re always mad and never in the moment”.

That’s when you realize you will not make them happy. They will always find a reason to be angry with you. They don’t support you like you support them. At the end of the day, they’re all talk. They say they’re supportive and caring but they’re not. Because if you do anything they do, you’re always in the wrong. Yet I have to support every little thing you do.

[uselessghost]

I’m tired. Tired of the world and its issues. I’m tired of smiling despite the disrespect I continue to get. I’m tired fighting. Fighting for others and fighting for myself. I try to be there for everyone else but no one is there for me. I’m depressed and don’t feel enough for anyone. I try so hard to make my family proud but for what? I try so hard when I’m in a relationship. But I can’t make anyone happy. I just want love. I want happiness. I want to feel trusted.

[uselessghost]

I’m almost 30 and nothing has changed and nothing will change. I’ve tried talking things out. I’ve tried listening but they won’t listen in return. I hate myself life and clearly nothing will change. I will never be enough for anyone or myself.

I just want to disappear and now until I’m 30, that will be my goal and I don’t care who tries to stop me.

[uselessghost]

I want to leave this place. I want to move to a different state with different friends.

[uselessghost]

It’s winter and I’m always cold. How cold does it have to be for me to freeze to death? Asking for a friend

[uselessghost]

[uselessghost]

I attempted to OD with a plan of not waking up. Except he saved me. He took me to the hospital. Why? So you can yell at me that you were freaking out? Yet to this day, I get treated like shit. I get called every name in the book. Names you would never call your own child and would be heated if someone talked to your child that way. But fuck it. I’m supposed to accept it and forgive you right?

[uselessghost]

I truly hate my life. I think I will forever hate my life and nothing will change. I’m my parent’s least favorite child. My brother gets away with so much stuff compared to me.

For some reason I’m never good enough in relationships. No one wants to even try to fight for me.

I hate myself. I hate my body. I hate that I’m not successful. I hate that I’m not good enough for my parents or partner.

I’m always breaking out, have acne scars, get chubbier and chubbier each day, have ugly hair, ugly body, I’m unorganized and I’m forever a mess.

I always make someone mad without trying.

I’m just stupid and boring.

[uselessghost]

I never get a TRUE APOLOGY. Like I always get the “ hey I’m sorry for reacting that way and for saying what I said”. But I don’t get the true apologies in which they mean it. The ones where they apologize and truly try not to act the same way. I always get apologies just to apologize not to make a change.