uselessthebroccoli - Tumblr blog

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Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Johnny slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Johnny what’s wrong.

“Well,” replies Johnny, “you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?”

“Yes,” replies Jeff with a laugh.

“Well,” says Johnny, straightening up, “I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed.”

“That’s great!” says Jeff, “When are you going out?”

“I went to meet her this evening,” continues Johnny, “but I was worried I’d get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my p-nis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn’t show.”

“Sensible” says Jeff.

“So I get to her door,” says Johnny, “and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw.”

“And what happened then?”

(Johnny slumps back over the bar again.)

“I kicked her in the face.”

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I really deeply hate how the correct statement "using man-hating as a cover for transmisogyny is awful and you need to be able to recognize when that's being used as a dogwhistle" has somehow evolved into "misandry is real and that's why terfs are wrong" like no I don't think it is. Can we please retire Not All Men I can't do this

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the sigh of relief i let out after clicking on the last block of spoiler text

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*i spin the wheel to the right so hard i dislocate both my arms*

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I wonder how different society would be if the abuse schools commit was officially acknowledged as abuse.

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Fanfic writers are like crows. If you give them treats (comments) they will bring you shiny things (fanfic)

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isekai about a nyc apartment block getting teleported into a fantasy realm, and how this group of people who previously have only had incidental contact with one another come together to build a vibrant community in their new circumstances. there's a season-long arc about introducing bagels and pizza to the fantasy world that gets into the details of sourcing ingredients, developing new technologies, and learning how to work with supernatural substitutions.

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😭😭😭😭

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If this ain't me

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sort of canon

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googling ‘jobs for autistic people’ and realising that everyone still thinks autistic people are either sheldon cooper or really tall toddlers

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