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Sammy, just when I thought there was no more depth to your ego, you go ahead and keep surprising us all. It’s really quite smart, using your ur pathetic gang of vapid, attention seeking, and overall horrible human beings you call friends to do your PR for you. Your BFFL Jordyn posting from your boyfriend’s lake house, draped over his brother and friend, could not have been a brighter proclomation asking for some cling to relevancy. People thought Quinn wasn’t there or didn’t like your friends? Here, let’s post two absolutely atrocious pictures of my random friend climbing him like a tree, while he looks like he’d rather just have been drowned than to pose for a picture which looks like it belongs on a pamphlet in a therapist office for people with depression and suicidal tendencies. But your friends, particularly Jordyn, know all about taking mediocre pictures and posting them on instagram, wouldn’t they? Very embarrassing she’s followed him and he hasn’t yet, when I know Quinn has a quick follow thumb for anyone he actually has a semblance of interest, friendship or even acquaintance for. I know you and your friends loved Birthright, because you think you’re entitled to a land you and your ancestors have absolutely no legal claim to, but I didn’t know your “Birthright” included being small minded, hateful and annoying little gnats. Don’t think I read that in the brochure.
Speaking of your little clowns, you love to post like you’re trying out for a low budget revival of Friends, but talk shit about each other like you’re on a crappy reality show. Does Jordyn know you guys (especially Claire) speak about her behind her back, complaints of her being too extra, too annoying, and obviously not as pretty as the rest of you. This, in spite of my absolute disregard for her character, is quite hypocritical, when the rest of you rats aren’t quite the sights anyone would wish for yourselves. You all have moral high ground equivalent to someone who degrades POC PNMs for fun… oh wait, that’s actually something you all did.
Does Claire know that you speak your grievances about her to Leigh and Ella, about how you think she gets too try hard around Jack and his friends, and how she copies everything you do? And the only reason you don’t say anything is because you don’t want to lose someone you deem “inferior” to you, to boost your unwarranted sense of high self importance? You’ve said you don’t see her as an equal, looks, money, or intelligence wise, so obviously she’s not a threat to you and Jack, oh no no. You can get off whatever superiority complex you feel you have over her but you must have a delusion akin to mental illness if you truly don’t see how low of a specimen you are. Then again, she loves the fact she’s the closest to you, because of the sense of importance it gives her. Maybe it makes up for the fact she’s liked him since high school, when they both went to school 30 mins away from each other? Guess she’s still salty she couldn’t break into the NTDP friend group cult that featured your “high quality” boyfriend and his ex (that Claire still follows, which is totally not weird) You also love to belittle Gigi because of her weight, or do you not remember getting drunk at Rick’s and telling people how fat and gassed you thought she was? If I can remember correctly I heard something close to “trailer park trash” but then again, lots of things sound exactly like that that I could have confused it with.
That leaves only Ella and Leigh, and whilst you don’t spew as much venom towards them, you’ve told Jack’s friends (especially the more noticeable ones) who have been interested in them that they’re good hookups but bad to date. Of course, only doing this because you don’t want them to upstage you in the WAG department. Because only you can be a wag, and only you can be ignored by all of the other Devils and Team USA wags, and only you can be not given merch every other player got for their partner, and only you can be shit talked by both groups for being standoffish, boring, and rude!!! I agree, that distinction should be solely reserved for you girl!!
Hope you didn’t make friendship bracelets when you were in Montauk for your super amazing best friend sisters!!!! Such a great group of intelligent, kind, and empowering group of women!!
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
You and Jack are in Montauk
And he doesn’t want to see you
Everyone knows you’re in the same city
They also have noticed he hasn’t taken pity
You were at the same place just yesterday
But he came later and avoided you like the plague
It was just last week you were at his lake house
Posting pictures with your gremlins, grinning like a mouse
To try to put rumours of rocky times to rest
But all it did was further annoy Ellen at best
And today he is back at montauket with his boys
Again not with you, so he is filled with much more joy
Talking with other women, getting drunk and having fun
Whilst you’re 10 minutes away roasting alone in the sun
I know this is bringing back bad flashbacks
Of last Independence Day with another Sammi and Jack
When you two were again in the same town & he cheated
While you were with other guys and getting kicked out of clubs for being too inebriated
You reconciled later that weekend as we know
Because you put on a rather dramatic and pitiful show
But we both know that won’t be the case so easily this year
All of his friends and brothers are whispering in his ear
Saying “break up with her, she’s up to no good”
And taking him around the Hamptons meeting girls, as he should
It is true he may take you back later this summer
You take advantage of his insecurities, what a bummer
But deep in your heart you know it’s different now
And there is not much more time he will allow
You can follow all of the people in his life no matter how insignificant
But your obsessive ways we both know about are going to make you irrelevant
And so dear Sammy, have fun with the friends you talk so bad about
But that’s another story for another day, no doubt 🥂
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I think someone would be interested to know her boyfriend’s model ex and her significant other have been having some rough times recently; either fighting/on & off or broken up entirely. You know which ex - your friends followed and liked her posts/vids years ago. Your boyfriend liked one of her posts recently, maybe when he found out her new relationship status! He probably just wants to show her support, maybe drop by a welcome to the neighborhood gift to her new place, which is approximately 7 minutes from his place! How convenient!
At this point, everyone knows that you get jealous and throw fits; my God, you made Jack delete his post he had up of his vacation to Hawaii with his ex girlfriend out of nowhere. The one where he looked 100 times happier than he’s ever looked with you. But maybe when you make him buy you stuff this time to make up to you for it, get some jewellery; the bags you picked were hideous. But don’t worry, these rumours of you two fighting these past few weeks will probably have no effect on him continuing to have a roaming eye on other girls.
Maybe I would be more worried about his other ex if I were you, the one who lives closer to him in Michigan; closer to a lot of the same people and who has recently been talking to some in the old friend group, even interacting with your brothers, especially the younger brother who liked her and hates me.
But that’s just me. You’re probably completely fine and totally secure in your totally healthy relationship.
Have a great long weekend, everyone! See y’all later 🇺🇸🫡🎇
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Oh Sammy,
How does it feel to be one of the biggest attention whores in sports wag cultures, when the person you want attention from most is liking his ex’s and ex-hookups instagram pictures whilst he’s in the same city as you, but blowing you off like a leaf. Do you know one of your boyfriend’s ex-hookup lives in 2 minutes from him, his ex just moved to the next town over, and that he still has another on speed dial? You shouldn’t worry, he just likes their insta pictures amidst rumours he’s starting to get sick of your antics, he definitely wouldn’t do anything bad. It’s not like he hooked up with a girl with the same name as you in the Hamptons last summer, whilst you were 20 minutes away, and all of Tumblr & Twitter found out about it. It’s not like the internet thinks your boyfriend’s ex is the prettiest human alive, is naive to the fact she is an extremely successful model & wish he was still with her.
By now everyone knows you strong armed him into having you and your friends to his and his brother’s lake house for your birthday. You threw a fit threatening to start drama whilst you were fighting these past weeks because you wanted this weekend so bad because people thought you were broken up and you needed your friends to post from the Hughes’ lake house so the internet would know you were still “together”?
The fact your boyfriend’s mother had to follow your friends so she could monitor what they posted because she can’t trust you after it was revealed you went to the press about your relationship? Don’t misconstrue it - she doesn’t like your friends. You and your little IDF sympathizer friends are hardly beams of intellect and good morals, no wonder she can’t stand you. You’re only lucky she cares about her son’s misguided happiness than her own valid grievances or else you’d be kicked out the door faster than you could blink.
Your friends following his brothers and friends , when they avoid you like the plague is desperate. Trying to go after his younger brother and throwing a fit when he rejected you. Then having your friends post from their house with their name on the sign because your own self esteems are only filled with blatant clout chasing. I know you’ve been kicked out of clubs because you are too drunk to function. I know you bullied people and made racist derogatory comments about them in high school and college. I know a lot of things, and they’ll come out in due time. I know you and your minions are on here. I know his people are too. You’ve hurt too many people I’ve cared about.
I will say you’re pretty, but I mean, you can’t control that really. The things you can, like your personality, demeanor, and character, all suck though.
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