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I commissioned @ms-dos5 to recreate the Windows 95 desktop icons in cross-stitch.  The results are awesome!  I just need to find the best place to hang them up…

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3D-printed Joy-Con and smartphone grip ⊟ 

While we’ve seen accessories that let you hold your Joy-Con and a smartphone in portrait mode, this slick mod lets you keep your eyes on your mobile device (and more importantly the Switch Online app) with it vertically oriented. 

Ryvaeus put this together with mods by artobot and Brandon Mott,  explaining that he was “too lazy to keep picking up/putting down phone between Salmon Run rounds to Reddit, [but] not lazy enough to do nothing about it.” He also used a Moto Style Shell to hook it all up together.

“I chose to mount the phone like this so I could reach more of the screen with my thumbs without needing to release my grip on the controllers,” says Ryvaeus. “I tried it flush, but couldn’t swipe across the on-screen keyboard without significant stretching. At least this way I can text chat in Discord or Hangouts without adjusting the grip much.” Here’s the full vid showing it off.

SUPPORT TINY CARTRIDGE Join Club Tiny!

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Note: this artist was an important inspiration for the visual style of SEGA’s 1986 arcade title, “Out Run”. http://reassembler.blogspot.ru/2017/03/outrun-influences-hiroshi-nagai-naoya.html

Hiroshi Nagai, Japanese Art

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there’s a guy in one of my classes who i am secretly battling for dominance over by wearing awful hipster outfits. i dont know if he is thinking the same thing but regardless i am intent on winning

i thought i won today when i walked into class wearing my awful pop art t-shirt of 1995 figure skating champions, mom jeans, and 1980 moscow olympics-theme denim jacket but then he had to walk in wearing a donald duck jacket with matching donald duck socks like what a fucking power move

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                                   A HIDEO KOJIMA GAME

                 Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

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OH MY GOD

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You'd think this magic shit would get easier over time, but you'd be very, painfully wrong.

You see, friends, I became a sorcerer because I thought it’d be easy. I’ve got that inner sense of magic goin’ on, but nope, I was wrong, it’s not as easy as waving my hands and turning shit into chocolate mousse. I thought maybe it’d be better than being smelly farmers, like my parents, or suffering, hated merchants, like my aunt and uncle. But no, of course it wasn’t.

It all started to go downhill when I was told I couldn’t just fuck around with my hands and funny-sounding words and needed to find a mentor. The closest we had in my village was an old man with kooky hair who always babbled on about “elves’ rights” and how “elves are oppressed by the evil human.”

He wasn’t even half-elf. The elves hate us and try to kill us on a fairly frequent basis, purely based off of our “genetic and moral inferiority” (I won’t argue with the latter, but I don’t really care either, because at least I don’t live in the forest and spend my days whining, killing anyone not like me, whining about the spirit of the forest, and then spending the end of the day drinking crappy wine and trying to justify why I’m better than everyone else.)

But I digress. The old man clearly was not going to be of any help to me, and so I went on a journey to the next village. Then the next. Then the next. Then, it occurred to me that perhaps I was a huge idiot with a sign around my neck reading “I’m with stupid (that’s me)” and parading about, and finally went to the nearest city, which so happened to be nearer than any of those villages.

I went into a magic shop, and lo and behold, there was indeed a magic man, in the magic shop. The first thing he did was squirt me with a flower and laugh uncontrollably. I was not convinced.

He showed me it was a regular, living flower that was squirting water, and not a parlor trick. Then I was convinced.

I asked if he took apprentices, and he told me he’d never taken one before, but I’d be his first. The first several “tasks” were just making me run errands for him, like shopping, deliveries, and—worst of all—cleaning after his familiars. I begged him to give me something actually to do with magic, and he scratched his stubbly chin. I waited for a response.

I sat there waiting for two hours in silence.

Suddenly, he suggests I go look for the philosopher’s stone. He draws me a map based off of his research and divination, then sends me off on my way with nothing but the clothes on my back, an empty bag, and a big stick.

I follow the map perfectly, traveling for weeks and weeks. I had to beat up some weaker-looking travelers to get money for food, and threatened to curse a few bandits to steal their money too (which is ridiculous, because sorcerers can’t curse people. That’s more within the realm of corrupt priests looking for better church donations.)

I was in tatters, physically and emotionally, and I barely wanted to go on, when the mountain where the stone was supposed to be hidden came into view. I explored the caves, careful to keep up a light in my hands so the ravenous bats wouldn’t feast on my flesh, as I looked for any sign of a glowing stone.

Finally, after another week of fruitless wandering, a light came into view, not from the end of a tunnel, but from another nook in the cave. Elated, I sprinted toward the light, letting out a laugh.

When I got to the end of the cave, the glow dimmed.

There was a big purple rock with a piece of paper attached.

“The reward is in the journey.”

I angrily ripped the paper off, hoping he was messing with me, but found the rock below was indeed imbued with magic. I put my hands to the rock, focused, then took out a piece of junk metal and stuck it to the rock.

It slowly transformed into gold, floating in the air and spinning, then came down into my hands. I gasped, believing I’d been had, but perhaps, I’d been wrong about the man in the magic shop.

As soon as I clasped it in my hand, it transmogrified again. I opened my hand, curious about what it had changed shapes to.

I blinked and screamed as water squirted me in the face.

I hate magic and I hate the people who practice it even more. Including myself.

Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve listened to the elves’ rights activist instead.

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when the season’s grain yield is good and your family can afford a loaf of bread this week

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- Wolf’s ending, Battle K-Road (Psikyo)

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Pocket Pussy Review

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someday, in the distant future, humans will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to  respond with “baby don’t hurt me”

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petition to make this song the new rickroll

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Meanwhile, on a fictional radio station...

(the first person to correctly figure out what exactly this format completely rips off gets, iunno... respect?)

DISCLAIMER: The story, its characters, names and incidents portrayed are purely ridiculous. Any coincidences to real people or incidents are purely similar. (Also, this was largely written before the Charlottesville incident.)

Announcer: Default Public Radio's programming is made possible thanks to the contributions of listeners like you. Please donate in order to help us bring our informational programming to listeners in Default City and across Redmond County, or else we are going to despise you as the freeloader you are. Thank you. Next up is "In the Crosshairs" with Raul Rodriguez, a.k.a. "that traitorous deadbeat".

RR: ...and welcome back, everybody, to another entertaining episode of "In the Crosshairs", DPR's top political and social debate show, hosted by yours truly, Raul Rodriguez. As always, this show is all about taking people with wildly different views, throwing them into a single room and hopefully, maybe once in a while, coming towards some sort of agreement _without_ starting a fight or committing property damage.

RR: And today's topic is gonna be... freedom of speech. Ever since man first learned to form sounds in order to communicate with others in their tribe, speech has been a vital tool in our civilization. From the first cries of help by a hunter-gatherer in prehistoric Africa all the way to some jerk shouting about chemtrails in the Default City Public Library yesterday, we've always been wondering what kind of speech should or should not be considered acceptable. And what could be the best way to settle this thousand-year-old question once and for all than on public radio in 2017?

RR: To help us today, we have three very different guests. First, on the right, we have Duane Lee Roberts, chairman of the Redmond County branch of the "National Enlightened Identitarian Network" movement and author of the 2008 book "Marxists in Disguise: how liberals are about to turn our nation into Stalinist Russia".

DLR: Good to be on this show!

RR: And on the opposite side of the political spectrum, there's Jake Springer, local left-wing activist and outspoken anarcho-collectivist recently released on parole after spraying graffiti at the headquarters of a local conservative organization.

JS: That's me!

RR: Let's start with you, Mr. Roberts. What's your position on freedom of speech?

DLR: Obviously, I'm following the path of our forefathers here. Our nation's top law specifically protects free speech. Therefore, everyone who wants to shut someone up just because they have different political views is inherently unpatriotic.

RR: What about _you_, Mr. Springer? What do you think?

JS: Well, that's obviously untrue. Sure, freedom of speech is our sacred right as citizens, but we have some limitations. We're not allowed to shout "fire" in a crowded theater, and others are not obligated to provide a pla--

DLR: This again... Is that your universal leftist excuse or something? "platform this, platform that"... My view here is simple: if you can't stand listening to opposing opinions, you're not worthy of being part of the debate in the first place.

RR: Sorry, Mr. Roberts, but _please_ refrain from interrupting other panelists. Not this early in the show, OK?

DLR: Fine, _Raul_.

RR: Back to you, Jake. You believe that speech should sometimes be limited, but why? Could you give us some examples?

JS: Well, to protect marginalized communities, for a start. It's much harder for, say, a woman to speak up online if there's thousands of trolls ready to bombard her account with rape and death threats, right?

DLR: I have to disagree. Men get death threats online just as well, and they don't immediately run away into their safe spaces every time that happens!

JS: ...but studies have shown that women do, in fact, get targeted much more often and much more aggressively than men online. So much, in fact, that a lot of them just prefer not to express their political views at all.

DLR: And the only thing _that_ proves is that their opinions can't stand to any scrutiny. Can't take the heat? Get out of the kitchen!

RR: Wait, Duane, didn't you say _at the very beginning_ that anyone who wants to silence others for their political views is unpatriotic?

DLR: Uh... yes, but obviously there's a difference between having your speech banned and simply being criticized, right?

JS: If your definition of "criticism" is receiving hundreds of death threats every day and getting your personal info released out in the open...

RR: So looks like whichever one of you is right, some speech is getting silenced. Either it's women or minorities unable to speak out of fear of retaliation, or some neo-Nazis --

DLR: Hey!

RR: -- unable to spread their hatred out in the open. Sounds like _such_ a difficult choice...

DLR: It's not about neo-Nazis! In some places, like college campuses, even regular conservatives are afraid to reveal their views for fear of being branded bigots and racists.

JS: Well, if you expect the left to put up with right-wing trolls, you should also tolerate other people calling people like you racist, right?

DLR: Not when the only thing these "racists" want is to have less taxes, regulations and welfare.

JS: Sure, they might not actually _be_ racist, but don't you think that cutting welfare might hurt minorities harder than it would white people?

DLR: Whatever. Simply preferring meritocracy and free market economics doesn't make one racist.

JS: Neither does complaining about constant catcalling or toxic masculinity online make one, quote, "a filthy feminist whore" or, quote, "a degenerate cuck".

RR: Yeah, as insults go, gonna side with Mr. Springer on this one.

DLR: Listen here, you public radio freak. Colleges are already an instrument of socialist indoctrination. And people like Jake will drive campus conservatives into _extinction_ if not contained.

JS: Seriously? Have you even _visited_ a college? Our economics de--

DLR: Oh, God, no. Do I look like some sort of socialist?

JS: You say "socialist" like it's a bad thing.

DLR: Of course it is! Have you seen what they've done to Russia?

JS: Yes, and most of us hate _that_ kind of socialism with a passion.

RR: Okay, guys. You both have clearly gone off-topic here. Let's get back on track. So, Jake, if you had to put a limit on free speech, where would it be?

JS: Um... Banning Nazism would be a good start?

DLR: So predictable. You leftists call pretty much anyone you dislike a Nazi. With you in charge, we'd have no free speech left!

JS: Hey, not true!

DLR: The commies in East Germany literally called the Berlin Wall an "anti-fascist barrier"!

JS: And today, everyone, even "the commies" agree that the Wall was a massive failure, okay? Remind me once again, who is currently planning to build a huge wall on America's southern border?

DLR: Okay, fine. Just answer me this -- would _I_ be considered a Nazi in your world?

JS: Well, judging by the fact that there are photos online where you are doing the Nazi salute...

DLR: Says the person who responded to a pharma company raising prices on medicine by quoting Karl Marx!

JS: And that's supposed to be worse than a Nazi salute?

DLR: First of all, it's actually a Roman salute. Totally different, just ask any history geek. Second, I'm fighting against the cancer that is cultural Marxism. I'm not gonna stop just because _a literal actual Marxist_ is accusing me of being a Nazi.

JS: "Accusing"? With your conspiracy theories about white genocide on social media, you pretty much are one already.

DLR: So is this how it's gonna go? *rolls up sleeves* Well, how about this? *punches JS*

JS: I didn't want to do this, but... *starts a fistfight with DLR*

RR: ...and looks like it's time for me to phone security once again and call this program to a close. I hope the listeners at home learned something new, and I also hope I'll be able to get out of here before either one of them punches _me_!

RR: ...What's up with this show always ending in violence? Whoever picks these topics and guests must really hate me...

Announcer: And that was "In the Crosshairs". I hope Mr. Rodriguez really learns his lesson this time... How does he still show up at work after all these years?

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Gotta love this account.

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