usvsth3m
usvsth3m
Us Vs Th3m
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All awesome internet stuff. All the time.
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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The Norwegian names for the Mr Men are what they should have been called all along
Whoever translated Roger Hargreaves' Mr Men books for Norway did a perfect job - here are our 6 favourites:
1. Mr Bump
Of course he's Herr Dumpidump! Of course!
2. Mr Topsy Turvy
Literal translation: Mr Backwards
3. Mr Happy
Even smugger than in English!
4. Mr Tickle
"Kile" is Norwegian for tickle, but there's something appropriately menacing about the horrible Kilefant coming to tickle you.
4. Mr Nosey
Mr Nosey of course, has a big nose, but is also nosey - teaching children 2 important concepts at once! Value for money!
6. Mr Messy
According to the slightly disturbing Mr Men wiki, Mr Messy is one of 12 characters without noses!
BONUS: Meanwhile in France, there appears to be some niche Microsoft sponsorship going on...
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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When strangers on reddit cruelly mocked Carly Findlay's appearance she decided to answer back
Carly Findlay has a genetic condition called ichthyosis which causes her skin to be red, scaly and painful. It also affects her ears, eyes, digestive system, temperature, metabolism and hair.
She writes a blog detailing her experiences, and offering advice to other people with ichthyosis.
Recently, she discovered that someone had found a photo of her online and posted it in the r/WTF subreddit. The original post was horrible and mocking, but worse were some of the comments underneath:
What does your vagina look like?
WTF is that? Looks like something that was partially digested by my dog.
Seeing people like this smile makes me uncomfortable. It looks like a lie; they are only smiling in an attempt to fool themselves that their lives aren’t horrible. You can see it in her eyes. The same rehearsed dead-eye mouth-smile in all her pictures. Gives me the willies.
Carly has explained that the photo was actually taken on one of the happiest days of her life.
Bravely, Carly decided to enter the reddit thread and respond to her anonymous abusers
This is the comment she posted:
I knew the day would come that someone would create a Reddit thread about me, using my photo, having a laugh at my appearance. For years, that fear was why I didn't share photos of me online. But now, after gaining confidence and support through years of blogging, I couldn't care whether they call me a lobster or silly putty.
The love I have around me and success I have had through telling my own story to break down stigma like these Reddit threads is stronger than any of those words.
Yes I have Ichthyosis. Yes that picture is me. Don't fear it and don't criticise it. I am proud of the way I look, what I have achieved and for telling my story.
FYI: I have two forms of Ichthyosis - a mix of Netherton's syndrome and erythroderma. My skin is shiny because I use paraffin. My body is less red than my face as it's not exposed to the elements, but it is generally more painful. Ichthyosis is survivable - I have lived a very full life.
To everyone who has shown such kindness here - Thank You! The level of kindness shown in these situations is always greater than the level of hate. The awful comments within this thread are far worse than the original post.
Thanks for linking to my blog too, so people are informed of the real me rather than through the speculation on this thread. For those who missed it, you can read more about me at http://carlyfindlay.blogspot.com
The second-to-last paragraph recognises that, amongst the mean comments, were many compliments and messages of support. Indeed, Carly says that the kindness actually outweighed the cruelty.
Carly with her fiance, Adam.
Carly has written her own blogpost on the topic.
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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The ingenuity of 'uncropped album covers' will make you look at your favourite records afresh
Our new favourite thing is photoshops that "show" the parts of album covers that didn't make the final product
Here are 9 of our favourite attempts to explain the "real" origins of album art:
1. For the first time we can see the terrible risks Nirvana subjected that poor baby to!
Image: Aptitude
2. And the *real* explanation for The Beatles' White Album is:
Image: The Neville
3. Bieber's crimes were in front of our oblivious faces all along!
Image: Aptitude
4. Run, Simon and Garfunkel!
Image: knockear
5. Turns out The Strokes are secretly massive Status Quo fans!
Image: Chopper3
6. Another iconic Beatles cover, this time cropped to hide their despicable cruelty to animals
Image: Zak McFlimby
Is this evidence that Paul was killed and replaced with a vegetarian?
7. Bonio, what have you done to this child?
Image: xandmi
8. And the cover of Taylor Swift's latest opus, 1989, is of course part of still from amnesia-thriller, Memento
9. Finally, remember when Joy Division had to crop their album cover after a little-known founding member left the band?
Image: Sea Tramp
For more of this stuff, see the B3ta image challenge some of these came from, although it is B3ta so enter at your own risk.
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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This weatherman won Halloween with his fantastic green screen skeleton trickery
Jude "Bones" Redfield, weatherman for Louisville's WDRB, wore a green outfit with a plastic skeleton attached to it, which in combination with a green-screen background, turned him into a skeleton from the neck down
He pointed his bony fingers at patches of rain while declaring the forecast for the day "not terrible." (Source - youtube.)
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Source: twitter.com/Know
This is how it looked on screen
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Source: today.com/news
Want the video do you? GO ON THEN
Are you spooked yet?
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Ok, it's not actually scary, but it is cool!
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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We didn't expect to enjoy Daniel Radcliffe rapping Blackalicious' 'Alphabet Aerobics' but it made our hearts beat faster
Who knews that Daniel was so quick quick quick with the words?
By the time we got to the end of this we were like this
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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'Bye Felipe' showcases the worst men on Tinder and online dating sites
Dating is a minefield...
Plenty of apparent 'nice guys' quickly turn extremely nasty in the face of rejection, however polite. 'Bye Felipe' is an Instagram account posting screenshots of some of the most pathetic examples.
Bye Felipe is a sarcastic "whatever" reply inspired by the 1995 comedy film Friday
Source: urbandictionary.com
Here are 4 worst examples of men taking rejection very badly on these dating sites
1.
2.
3.
4.
See more at intagram.com/byfelipe.
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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Why letters from the Government about how your tax is spent are pure political propaganda
24 million letters like these are currently being sent out to British taxpayers
The problem is loads of things have been grouped into "welfare" to make you go "Bloody Scroungers" and support a load more cuts.
This is what George Osborne wants you to think
However, here's a more accurate breakdown from lartsocial.org
Source: lartsocial.org/COFOG
You see, it's a bit more complicated than that
George, waving at some poor people he's sold down the river, yesterday
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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We read this Guardian headline as 'I'm rich and I'm prepared for others to die in test flights so I can go into space'
Source: theguardian.com/commentisfree
Well, bully for you, Wilson!
Here's Sir Richard Branson in happier times:
Virgin Galactic were the first ever private venture to announce an intention to carry fare paying passengers into space, back in 2004.
But after this horrific Virgin Galactic SpaceShipTwo crash this weekend, experts have told Richard Branson's space firm that its rocket was 'unsafe'.
British rocket propulsion expert Carolynne Campbell-Knight, who issued the warning, said: “It was Russian roulette which test flight blew up.”
We wonder about the future of this enterprise - do you trust Richard Branson's people to safely return you from space?
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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Hey kids - if Santa doesn't give you want you want this Xmas, lift up his head and poo down his neck
Hey, thanks Amazon for this seasonal gift idea
Even contains 'tissue box' should you want to comfort Santa afterwards
Buy it on Amazon now. (Inspired by @edent)
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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This creepy Reddit post will grip you like a detective thriller and chill your very soul
"My dead girlfriend keeps messaging me on Facebook. I’ve got the screenshots. I don’t know what to do"
Tonight’s kind of a catalyst for this post. I just received another message, and it’s worse than any of the others.
My girlfriend died on the 7th of August, 2012. She was involved in a three car collision driving home from work when someone ran a red light. She passed away within minutes on the scene.
We had been dating for five years at that point. She wasn’t big on the idea of marriage (it felt archaic, she said, gave her a weird vibe), but if she had been, I would have married her within three months of our relationship. She was vibrant; the kind of girl that would choose dare every time. She was happiest when camping, but a total technophile too. She always smelled like cinnamon.
That being said, she wasn’t perfect. She always said something along the lines of, “If I kark it first, don’t just say good things about me. I’ve never liked that. If you don’t pay me out, you’re doing me a disservice. I’ve got so many flaws, and that’s just part of me.” So, this is for Em: the music she said she liked and the music she actually liked were very different. Her idea of affection was a side-hug. She had really long toes, like a chimpanzee.
I know that’s tangential, but I don’t feel right discussing her without you having an idea of what she was like.
Onto the meat. Em had been dead for approaching thirteen months when she first messaged me.
September 4, 2013. This is when it began. I had left Emily’s Facebook account activated so I could send her the occasional message, post on her wall, go through her albums. It felt too final (and too un-Emily) to memorialise it. I ‘share’ access with her mother (Susan) - meaning, her mother has her login and password and has spent a total of approximately three minutes on the website (or on a computer, total). After a little confusion, I assumed it was her.
November 16th, 2013. I had received confirmation from Susan that she hadn’t logged in to Em’s Facebook since the week of her death. Em knew a lot of people, so I instantly assumed this was one of her more tech savvy ‘friends’ fucking with me in the worst possible way.
I noticed pretty much immediately that whoever was chatting with me was recycling old messages from Em and my’s shared chat history.
The ‘the wheels on the bus' comment was from when we were discussing songs to play on a road trip that never eventuated. ‘hello’ happened a million times.
Around February 2014, Emily started tagging herself in my photos. I would get notifications for them, but the tag would generally always be removed by the time I got to it. The first time I actually caught one, it felt like someone had punched me in the gut. ‘She’ would tag herself in spaces where it was plausible for her to be, or where she would usually hang out. I’ve got screenshots of two (from April and June; these are the only ones I’ve caught, so they’re a little out of the timeline I’m trying to write out):
Around this period of time, I stopped being able to sleep. I was too angry to sleep.
She would tag herself in random photos every couple of weeks. The friends who noticed and said something thought it was a fucked up bug; I found out recently that there have been friends who have noticed and didn’t say anything. Some of them have removed me from their Facebook friends list.
At this point, some of you may be wondering why I didn’t just kill my Facebook profile. I wish I had. I did for a little while. On days when I can’t get out there, though, it’s nice having my friends available to chat. It’s nice visiting Em’s page when the little green circle isn’t next to her name. I was already socially reclusive when Em was alive; her death turned me into something pretty close to a hermit, and Facebook and MMOs were (are) my only real social outlets.
March 15th, On I sent what I assumed was Em's hacker a message.
On March 25th, I received an ‘answer’
It wasn’t until I was going over these logs a few months later that I noticed she was recycling my own words as well.
My response seems kind of lacklustre here. I was intentionally providing him/her with emotional ‘bait’ (‘This is actually devastating’) to keep them interested in their game; I was working off the assumption that the kind of person to do this would be the kind of person that would thrive on the distress of others. I was posting in tech forums, looking for ways to track this person, contacting Facebook. I needed to keep them around so I could gather ‘evidence’.
Before anyone asks, yes, I had changed the password and all security info countless times.
16th of April. I receive this.
This seems like word salad. Like all our conversations so far, it’s recycled from previous messages she’s sent.
29th of April.
I hadn’t discovered any leads. Facebook had told me the locations her page had been accessed from, but since her death, they’re all places I can account for (my home, my work, her mum’s house, etc). My response here wasn’t bait. ‘yo ask Nathan’ was an in-joke too lame worth explaining, but seeing ‘her’ say it again just absolutely fucking crippled me. My reaction in real life was much less prettier. I’m not expecting my bond back.
Her last few messages had started to scare me, but I wouldn’t admit it at this point.
8th of May. I don’t really have the words for this.
‘FRE EZIN G’ is the first original word she’s (?) made. This has given me nightmares that have only started to kick in recently. I keep dreaming that she’s in an ice cold car, frozen blue and grey, and I’m standing outside in the warmth screaming at her to open the door. She doesn’t even realise I’m there. Sometimes her legs are outside with me.
24th of May.
I wasn’t actually drunk. She wasn’t an affectionate girl, and it always embarrassed her to exchange ‘I love you’s, cuddle, talk about how much we meant to each other. She was more comfortable with it when I was boozed up. I got fake-drunk a lot.
Her reply is what prompted me to finally memorialise her page, thinking it might help curb this behaviour. It might seem innocuous compared to her previous message - it’s pasted from an old conversation where I was trying to convince her to let me drive her home from a friend’s.
In the collision, the dashboard had crushed her. She was severed in a diagonal line from her right hip to midway down her left thigh. One of her legs was found tucked under the backseat.
Going back in time. 7th of August, 2012.
These are logs from the day she died. She was usually home from work by 4.30. This, alongside a couple of voicemail messages, is the last time I talked to her under the assumption that she was alive. You’ll see why I’m showing you these soon.
Yesterday. 1st of July, 2014.
I memorialised her page a couple of days after I received the message about walking. Until today, she’d been quiet; she wasn’t even tagging herself in my photos.
I don’t know what to do anymore. Do I kill her memorial page? What if it is her? I want to puke. I don’t know what’s happening.
I just heard a Facebook alert. I'm too afraid to swap windows and check it.
Posted on Reddit
Do you believe this story is fact or fiction?
"Reddit NoSleep is a place for authors to share their original horror stories. Both nonfiction and realistic fiction are allowed."
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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BREAKING: UKIP can't tell the sun from the moon!
In an extraordinary series of tweets, UKIP supporters have revealed their inability to tell the sun from the moon
If any UKIP supporters are reading this post, our tip is that the moon is the one with easily visible craters.
The sun (according to UKIP):
The moon (according to UKIP):
Bloody moon, coming over here, taking our jobs.
Nigel, beautifully backlit by what his supporters mistakenly believe to be "moonlight"
Also in today: UKIP voters significantly more likely to believe in ghosts, study reveals
Yes, this is how the "wonderful 1950s" looked according to your average UKIP supporter
YouGov has posted a marvellous survey
Thus proving that UKIP supporters are more likely to believe in ghosts than supporters of Labour, the Lib Dems or the Conservatives.
Where are YOU on the "ghost belief spectrum"?
Read the report in full
Thanks to @tarasyoung for inspiring the angle.
High five UKIP fans, high five!
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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Wow! The book 'The Wit and Wisdom of Nigel Farage' is successfully trolling UKIP fans
Random House has published a book...
The publishers say about it...
Nigel Farage is a down-to-earth ex-banker and self-styled man of the people. He was elected to the European Parliament in 1999 and has attended occasionally ever since. He enjoys fishing, drinking beer and scaremongering, and dislikes evidence-based politics and Belgians. ** Please note that this book is, of course, entirely blank **
Yes, that's joke, the book is ** entirely blank **
So the thing is, Amazon has been recommending that UKIP fans buy it...
And these two UKIP fans have been successfully trolled
1. "SHAME ON YOU PENGUIN BOOKS"
Penguin books? Ebury is an imprint of Random House. Oh well.
2. "THIS INFERS NIGEL HAS NO WIT AND WISDOM AND I HAVE MET HIM PERSONALLY AND THIS IS NOT THE CASE"
Well played Random House, well played
Buy your own copy on Amazon now
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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'Sexy PhD costume' on Amazon has some wonderful comments
Sexy costumes - they divide the internet into roughly three camps:
Just a bit of fun?
Demeaning to women, suggesting the only way a woman can demonstrate value is to be "sexy"?
Or is moaning about them slut shaming?
It's a culture row that's unlikely to be settled by next Halloween.
The latest one getting attention is a sexy PhD costume for sale on Amazon
Here's our 5 favourite reviews
1.
Sleeves are too short & have no stripes. Costume does not feature a hood. This is a "sexy BA" at best
2.
The "Delicious Women's Phd Darling Sexy Costume" was not delicious at all. But I ate it anyway
3. "First things first, I am a lady Ph.D."
Like all lady Ph.Ds, I frequently ask myself: "How could I be sexier?" Delicious costumes has come to my rescue! I can now lecture in my 5 inch gold spiked heels and "barely there" regalia while giving nary a thought to the male gaze and its implications on the prevalence of rape culture in our society. I fully expect my chili pepper rating on RMP to go through the roof once I begin to greet my students in this costume. Hopefully I can keep my "post structural hegemonies" from engaging in some wardrobe malfunctions. Then again, who cares? I'm sexy! Forget about the 7 years I spent sweating out a dissertation and engaging in innovative research! SEXY!!!!
4.
DIPLOMA INCLUDED?!?! Why the hell did I put myself through ten years of grad school!! Lesson learned.
5.
When I left my nursing job for graduate school, I was so distressed. I mean what was I going to wear? There were plenty of sexy nurse costumes that I could wear to honor my accomplishments in that profession, but after I attained my PhD there was something missing. I was better educated, but not sexy. Until now. Thank you, Delicious Costumes, for filling the void. You've given women like me who have worked our asses off earning our degrees a way to show our asses off, too. Keep it classy, Amazon.
Or read more on Amazon.
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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Do you know the only place in Britain where it's legal to drive on the right?
It's just outside the Savoy in London!
Pic: Alan Light
It's the only road where this is true though, so it's extremely unlikely to come up in a driving theory test
For over a hundred years drivers on Savoy Court have been required to drive on the right.
Why? Well, it's because posh people like going to theatre.
The Savoy Theatre is on the right hand side of the road, so back when the usual road laws applied, people being dropped off by cabs caused congestion for the entrance of hotel.
Driving out
So they got a special dispensation and the law was changed in 1902
And although the law was changed for common sense reasons - it's telling it was only done because the problem inconvenienced rich people.
Of course, that kind of thing never happens now
We're not entirely sure where the law stands on wildcat storage outside the hotel though
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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Man tries to 'explain' THAT catcalling video, gets shut down brilliantly
Stand-up comedian Amanda Seals has NOT got time for Steve Santagati's bullshit
Watch the original video here
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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Playing this Bonfire Night on your mother will make her facepalm in exasperation
All you need is 2 accomplices, 4 sparklers, someone to take a picture, and of course, the mark
In this case, mum:
SAFETY TIP: After you have done your funny joke, remember to dispose of the sparklers in a bucket of water or sand
[Source]
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usvsth3m · 11 years ago
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Daughter photoshops herself into her mum's old photos, and the results are lovely
Danielle Delph, from Portland, Oregon, had always wondered if her and her mother would have been friends if they had grown up together
She decided to photoshop herself into old photos with her mum, and concluded that they would have definitely got on well.
Danielle had the idea for the photo project whilst scrolling through photos on Instagram and coming across a photo of someone's else's mother.
She started thinking about her own mother, Janis Thomas, who grew up in Kentucky before moving to Florida.
The project titled 'If I Had Known My Mother Back Then' took about 6 months to complete - partly because the photos were being sent a batch at a time from her mum's home in Florida.
Danielle went through looking for "moments when [they] were acting similarly, or were interacting or making eye contact, or at a similar event".
Original source: danielleandjanis.com
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