utterlyinevitable

[utterlyinevitable]

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31. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Penelope Featherington   Format: textfic   Chapter Rating: T+

Summary: he's baaaaaack

23rd June 13:45

Hey

Hi

You free for a chat

Can’t sorry I’m at work

Right yeah ok

What’s going on, Col

16:18

I don’t think this is for me

???

This job

Colin, you’re so good a this

I’m struggling for work, Pen

You have before and things turned around.

There’s only so much mindless click bait I can handle. And if people only come to my page for shirtless pics am I any better than a cheap onlyfans model or a stripper?

Exotic dancing is hard work

Be serious please

I thought you were writing pieces to beef that up? Things you wanted to write?

Yeah on my personals. I can’t really do that on ads and sponsorships, it’s not on brand

So don’t take the contracts that mean you can’t do what you like. It’s not like you need the money.

Right

That’s not what I meant. Just that you have the trust and your family to fall back on. You can figure things out.

I’m nearing 30, Pen. I need a purpose. I should have my life figured out by now

You have time. No one’s putting an age on success but you.

And my family

They love you

They don’t respect me

They support and love you and don’t understand your wanderlust.

17:32

Have you let anyone else read your works

Eloise. She told me it was boring fodder.

You know she wouldn’t tell you if she liked it. Have you let Violet?

She’d tell me she loved it no matter what.

Franny is probably your most least judgmental sibling. Send her some of your articles see what she says.

18:18

I’m coming home. It’ll be for a while.

-

"What’s with the face?" Sophie questions, watching Penelope's lips pinch together as she flips her phone facedown on the table with an air of resignation.

"What face?"

"Like you’ve just had gone off milk in your tea. What’s happened?"

She sighs; it's heavy and uncertain and all she can do when her mind is muddled with what ifs. "It’s Colin."

Sophie, ever the patron saint of patience, waits for more.

"He’s coming home for a while," Penelope says, thumbs fiddling with the paper napkin under her utensils. This was supposed to be girls night, no woes or Bridgerton-adjacent drama allowed.

Sophie waits for more not seeing the problem Penelope is clearly attempting to present.

She doesn’t elaborate.

"Surely that’s a good thing?" Sophie's blonde brows pinch together. "You get to spend more time together. Be an actual couple for once."

"We’re not-"

"You are. Whether you want to believe it or not." Penelope hasn't looked up from the table since she checked her phone. It's a very stark contrast to how she used to be - smiley and giggly and just light - every time she received a message from him. Penelope's in denial and it is so detrimental to everything she's built. It's clear as day to anyone that's gotten a glimpse of Colin and Pen together that they love one another. If only Penelope would let her guard down...

"He calls you home!" Sophie practically shouts, hands out stretched towards her friend. "Every time he’s in the country it’s to see you."

"His family is a lot," Penelope mumbles.

"If it was too much he wouldn’t come back as often and you know it. Friends don’t act like you do."

Penelope is silent.

"Do you want to be more?" Sophie is leaning across the table, voice a low and caring whisper. "Officially."

"It’s complicated."

"It’s not. That boy is in the palm of your hand. All you need to do is tell him what you want."

The icy look Penelope shoots her stills Sophie in her seat. "When are you going to reach out to Benedict? Put that man out of his misery."

Sophie rolls her eyes at the apparent deflection. It’s not the same and they both know it.

"Babes…"

"It’s better like this."

"In that case," Sophie sits back, reaches for her wine glass. "We best prepare your heart for what’s to come."

--

27th July 16:05

📍Colin shared his live location

He bounds up the steps light-footed and carefree, his bags hanging off his shoulder weightless with every metre climbed. He sees through the banister barrier on the landing, warm white light shining through her open door. Colin moves quicker, he can feel peace crawling through himself with evert stride. And like a sinner heading towards the light of salvation, at the top of the landing, he sees her in the doorway.

"Honey, I'm home!" he calls, feels the grand smile settle into his features.

"Hey, soldier."

She reaches out to grab the duffle in his hand with nary another word.

His next words come out soft and like a sigh of relief; "I've missed you."

Her sweet little simper sends fireworks through Colin's chest. Pen steps back before he could lean down to steal a kiss. There's time for that later, when he's not standing in her corridor and smelling of six hours of travel.

He shuts the door behind him, goes to drop his bags and close the insurmountable distance between them but she's gone. Padding down the hallway with his duffle still in hand. Colin has no choice but to follow.

"I've set up the spare room," she says, dropping his duffle at the foot of the single bed. "Thinking that we'd like our own space if you'll be here a while."

There's a subtext there Colin's not fond of, can't work out but surely does not like. A small surge of panic shoot through him.

"Yeah, yeah sure. Good thinking, Pen."

"It's a small flat," she says.

Colin nods, not sure what's happening - what's happened in the last few weeks he's been gone? There's tension wafting that hasn't reared it's head since they first reconnected over two years ago. He thought... Well it doesn't matter what he bloody well thought.

"I'm gonna grab a shower," he says, pointing over his shoulder in the direction of the bathroom behind him.

"Okay." She shuffles passed him, letting him grab whatever he needs. "Pasta alright for dinner?"

He shoots her a smirk.

"Right, forgot who I was asking," she giggles. It's light and familiar, and just enough it dissipate most of his reservations.

When he's finished he finds Pen in the kitchen, still dressed in her navy blue day dress, chopping an onion. He pads over and snakes his arms around to pull her into a long-overdue hug.

"Colin!" she chides, gently placing the knife onto the chopping board between.

He tugs her closer, her back flush to his chest, and folds himself over to nuzzle the top of her head. "I missed you."

"So you've said." Penelope pats his forearm three times.

He pouts and reluctantly lets go.

"Yea, yeah I've missed you too." She rolls her eyes, steps away from him. "Now put yourself to good use."

His brow raises disastrously.

"And finish the veg!"

Colin chortles and steps into her place. Out the corner of his eye he watches Penelope flit about the shoebox kitchen, boiling the kettle and setting pans on the hob.

"How've you been?"

"Yeah, good." Still not looking his way. "Busy."

"Tell me more," he says faux seductively.

"Works been great, I really enjoy it. My colleagues and I go out at least once a week. Which has been so good mentally, you know. Otherwise I'd be a lonely couch potato. Pip's wedding is next week, so been dodging my mother as best I can for as long as possible."

"When are you heading down?"

"Next Sunday." She says. "It's in Hampstead if you want to visit your mother..."

Colin's brows pull together, and something akin to hope blooms in his chest. "Won't your mother lose her head if she sees me?"

"No, I meant..." oh. "If you want to visit your family while I'm out for the week I wouldn't mind."

Oh.

"Don't trust me home alone?" he tries to play the hurt from misinterpretation off. "I'm a big boy, you know." His words land more sarcastically and not as playful as he hoped they would.

"Fine. Do what you want."

It's another blunder. Colin's been mucking everything up since he got here, and he doesn't even know why.

"I'll think about it," he says. "I'm not ready to deal with all the questions just yet."

She nodded along, not really committing or taking stock in what he's saying.

"Actually, I could really use the downtime to write."

"I think that's a fantastic idea." He watches a small smile grace her lips, as she stirs the sauce. "And just know I will be very, very envious of you."

Colin can't help but smile back. "I still want a play-by-play of everything that goes down."

She rolls her eyes and leaves him to set the table.

After dinner they curled up on the couch and began watching New Girl in succession once more, munching on the biscuits and sweets Colin picked up from his last destination.

Halfway through the second episode he received an email from a client he really couldn't ignore. Pops his laptop on his lap and tries to be present whilst also wrapping up loose ends.

"I'm gonna head to bed," she says as the credits roll.

He's hunched over, fingers tapping as fast as possible. "It's almost done, sorry."

Penelope briefly pats his shoulder as she rounds the sofa. "You finish, it's fine."

He hears her shuffling behind him, hears her rustling to place snacks back in cupboards, hears the tink of the mugs hitting the sink basin. Then, he hears her bedroom door close behind her and Colin knows something has irrevocably changed between them. And he needs to do whatever it takes to get them back on track.

[utterlyinevitable]

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30. Casual, yeah?

Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Penelope Featherington   Format: textfic   Chapter Rating: T+

Summary: interlude of colin alone at aubrey hall, and we learn more about the whereabouts of ben's painted denim

30th May

Hey

I’m coming back for a few weeks. Aubrey’s free. Wanna go?

Isn't June like the most ideal month to get married?

Apparently not!

TBH I think the family was gonna go for a bit but cancelled last minute. I've been assured that not a single person or Bridgerton is planning on travelling down while I'm there.

Soooo.. you in?

I can’t get off work

You’re off your probation though?

Yeah but i only get 3 weeks of holiday and I’ve already booked up 10 days

How? You’re always at work!

Pips wedding

Oh. Right. When’s that?

August 10th. Plus all the bridesmaids stuff

I do not envy you women.

Why are weddings such a big fare? I swear Daph had a whole months of events and rehearsals leading up to her wedding day.

History and the patriarchy telling women their only goal in life is to marry??

Ouch

It’s fine for marriage to be something a woman wants, but for it to literally consume literal years of life? No thank you.

Still cynical on love, I see. I take it you’re also against marriage too

No, I wouldn’t say that.

There’s tax breaks involved 💰

Ha. Ha.

I think committing to a partner is beautiful.

Pip and Albie are perfect for one another and I am so happy these two oddballs found one another.

What's the difference between marriage and love for you? The two go hand-in-hand in most cultures.

Marriage is a choice between two people choosing each other. It's an agreement of partnership and committing to building a life together.

Love can be unrequited and irrational and make you think things that aren't really there.

So you'd rather an arranged marriage? Take the feelings out of the affair all together?

I'd rather be comfortable in myself and my career

Yeah but what about growing together? Literally building your lives together from the ground up like our parents

My parents married bc Portia got knocked up on their third date.

I f Philippa can find her person there is hope for Prudence after all.

What about you?

Apparently she's bringing a plus one to the wedding but won't tell anyone who it is!

I'm not planning on bringing anyone.

No matter who I bring i'll be criticised for taking the attention from my sisters. Best to blend in and nod when spoken to at this thing.

I'll go with you

Portia would have a conniption!

That would be the opposite of blending in

and worse than bringing a colleague

Your mother cannot hate me that much, we've barely interacted all these years!

and she must know i am heaps more delightful than Eloise!

You're a Bridgerton. She'd freak even if i brought Greg or Hya

They're literal children

Of one of, if not the most, prestigious society families.

Mum would retcon the whole day if she knew a Bridgerton was attending. Pip and Albie's wishes be damned.

Just when I thought your mother couldn't get any more eccentric...

Imagine what she'd be like at a Featherington-Bridgerton wedding 😶

You'll have to fight the mystery man for Prudence's affections

🙄 My cap has been sufficiently set elsewhere thankyouverymuch

Sure, jan

Ok anyway, I think I’m gonna head to Aubrey for a few weeks. Feel free to pop in for a weekend I’d love to see you x

11th June

I miss u

I’m only a train ride away

This place is too big and scary for a boy on his own

It's your childhood home.

You've literally only been there two days

Come see me

I can’t, Col

Pretty pwease 🙏🏻

Think of all the fun we can have Ferris Bueller-style with no one around.

I don’t think I’ve ever been here without the family let along staff.

Did I mention there’s no staff 😏

I am quite literally the only person on the estate.

I can’t.

You can. I'm inviting you.

It doesn't feel right to be impeding on your sisters spaces.

We're not friends anymore and i doubt she'll take kindly to me being around

Eloise doesn't have to know. Only the estate manager knows I'm here and blacked the time out for me.

That's worse!

I thought we agreed to be honest at the cabin

We did.

We are. 

I am.

I don't feel comfortable intruding on the aspects of your life you share with your sister.

I want to respect her right to space.

When are you going to tell me what happened between you two?

Its been a long time. I'm over it. You know how she holds a grudge.

If you're over it then... 🫴🏻

Please respect my boundaries about this

13th June

Swear you’ll keep a secret

I swear I won’t say a word.

What is it?

[Penelope sends a picture of painted denim jacket hanging on the back of one of her dining chairs]

No way!

[Hungry One 🦛 forwards a picture of a sketchbook with a pencil sketch of a girl that looks like Sophie]

I knew Sophie looked familiar!

Ben is gonna lose his mind when he finds out his mystery girl doesn’t even live in London.

Yeah but we can’t tell him

What why not

I promised Sophie

Did it mean as much to her as it does to Ben?

She… is very quiet about the whole thing.

I think so, though.

I think she’s really nervous about it all. She doesn't regret what happened but

she said she bolted after finding out he’s a Bridgerton.

You lot come with a lot of expectations and baggage.

She’s not comfortable with that

You make it seem like we’re toxic

No, just in a whole other league us mere mortals are not equipped to cope with

You handle it well

We’re under the radar. Your family doesn’t know we’re involved.

I also grew up with you lot.

She comes from a very very different background

Ben knows we talk. Among other things

Talking and dating are two different things.

If Ben finds out he won’t stop until he woos her into submission

And that’s bad because

She’s not ready for that

It’s been a year, Pen

She thought she’d never see him again.

So why steal his coat if she didn’t want the reminder?

I really do think she feels the same way

So what do you want to do about it? You’re not telling me just to gossip about your friend

I thought you’d want to know

I can’t do nothing, Pen.

It’s against the bro code.

When someone knows where the love of your life is we gotta make it happen.

You’ve gotta let Ben decide if she’s worth it to him - and if I know my brother he’ll move mountains to make it work

That’s what she’s afraid of

Why not give it a shot

I don’t know.

Fear of falling and failing I suppose

What’s the worse that can happen? They find out they’re not compatible and break up

Heartbreak is a real bitch

But it could be so beautiful! They could go the distance.

All they have to do is try.

Put themselves out there, let their hearts open up and be rewarded

We can’t tell him

Does she know I'm his brother?

Idk, she's never said anything.

I don’t think she’ll trust me if I tell her now...

Pen

Let’s let fate or destiny or the powers that be bring them together, hm

You’ve got to tell her. It’s unfair.

Wouldn’t you want to know if you were one degree away from the person you’re in love with?

I wouldn’t put myself in that situation

I’d want to know.

Even if she lived a hundred miles away, I would want to know if my brother knew where she was

if he's had dinner and drinks and has built a friendly rapport with her

I’d want the choice to act on it or not.

So, what, you tell Ben?

You tell him you’ve been staying with me and that Sophie is my friend?

and you send him knocking on my door begging for an introduction?

No. It’d be more elaborate than that if you let a Bridgerton scheme

Does he know you stay with me?

Does your family know?

He and Ant know I have a launchpad up north with a friend.

But they don’t think it’s me

I don’t know what they think

And you haven’t told them because…

We agreed to keep this casual, no?

We did and I’m not saying to change but like

reflect on why you don’t want them in know of this friendship of ours.

And then see how that might affect Sophie - someone who knows nothing of you guys

Can’t they keep it just between them?

I think she’s afraid of being just another muse.

She's seen tabloid images and obviously pieces he's done of Genevieve and Tilley etc.

You can't preemptively compare what he had with them to what he could have with Sophie

I'm not!

Believe it or not I'm being bipartisan here.

I haven't told her anything I know about Ben or the family.

I need you to keep this between us, Col. Please.

If you think that's best, fine.

Thank you❤️

but, like, what are the odds?!

The universe always conspires to point a Bridgerton to their soulmate 💛

16th June • 17:26

I really do miss you, Pen

That lonely, huh?

Yes.

But also I have had way too much time to think

Penelope read at 20:35

20:44

Do you ever think that things happen for a reason? Like everything you’re doing is meant to happen no matter how lost and listless you feel? Or how life would be different if we didn’t reconnect. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if we didn’t cross paths that night, or if we didn’t acknowledge one another, or if we were awkwardly pleasant and went our separate ways, or godforbid we left it at a one night stand. In all these scenarios I can’t even come up with a good ending. I can’t imagine my life without you, Pen.

22:06

[Hungry One 🦛 sends a screenshot of Penelope's most recent Instagram story: She’s at what looks to be a sitting room in a house party. She's surrounded by four men and Mel all huddled together for this candid picture. Penelope is just sitting a little too close to one of the guys - a boy with dusty blonde hair and skin as pale as a porcelain doll. So close that she’s perched on his lap with her arm thrown around his neck and looking just too comfortable]

Looks like you're having fun!

New friends?

17th June  • 00:15

yeah :) jealous? ;)

No....

Thinking about me in your lap?

No....

Remember that time we went skinny dipping in the lake?

I don't think it could be call skinny dipping if we were all in our underwear

but yes i remember

some idiot slipped on the dock and got a two inch splinter in his ass

Don’t act like you don’t love my ass

I’m surprised I’m not scarred for life.

you also got a temporary tramp stsmp that night

I did get into Oxford

Penelope read at 00:33

00:40

Home doesn't feel like home without you.

are you drunk?

just thinking a lot

about us? our past?

yea amongst other things

01:22

You have nothing to worry about

We're just friends

WE'RE friends

Not that kind of friends

Good. That's good

Is it

Isn't it?

[utterlyinevitable]

I started watching My Lady Jane without knowing anything about it and well…

[utterlyinevitable]

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29. Birthday Babes

Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Penelope Featherington   Format: textfic   Chapter Rating: T+

Summary: Colin's been weird since V-Day, but then he takes Pen to a romantic cabin for her birthday

Penelope: Happy birthday, superstar 🌟♥️ any big plans?

Hungry One🦛: Thanks, P. Nothing too exciting. Having dinner with a few travelers I met up with

Penelope: What's on the menu?

Hungry One🦛: Cajun I think

Penelope: Hey, you ok?

Hungry One🦛: Yea

Penelope: You can talk to me you know. You've been weird since you left.

Birthday blues?

Hungry One🦛: Just unplugging for a bit. Don't worry. I'll see you 3rd April, yeah?

Penelope: Yeah if that works for you. Don't go rearranging on my account.

Hungry One🦛: My tour will be done by then. There won't be a sleeper train in the US I haven't tried when I'm through

Penelope: Can’t wait to read your review. I'll see you then.

Promise me one thing?

Hungry One🦛: I WILL be taking you for a birthday meal. Allow a man his small pleasures.

Penelope: No not that but thank you.

Be kind to yourself. Whatever this is that's got you in a funk will sort itself out. You're very funny and wonderful and charming and so bloody brilliant it's unreal. No matter what grief they give you, your family loves you dearly and just want to help.

You're also much too good looking to be sad 😉

Hungry One���: Thanks pen

Penelope: I hope you know you're my best friend. I care about you so so much, Colin.

Hungry One🦛: You're my best friend too <3

Penelope: If you're taking me out for my birthday, let me take you out for yours. Lets have a big bash (theoretically speaking, i'm poor yk)

Hungry One🦛: Deal

-

She’s mucked things up.

Penelope doesn’t know how but she knows something has undoubtedly changed between them. They've barely talked since he left whilst she was still asleep some three-odd weeks ago.

It can’t be the fact she’s sharing her place with him when he needs -- he's stayed around hers a countless amount of times these last two years and there has never ever been weirdness.

And it’s not that they share a bed -- they’ve never not shared a bed since they reconnected. She has some of her best sleep with him wrapped around her, legs intertwined and his heartbeat her lullaby.

Maybe it’s…

She does the quick math: they haven’t fucked in months. Since she moved in and christened nearly every room of her flat to be exact.

That can’t be it, could it?

Colin could just as well initiate; he’s certainly woken up with enough hard ons to get her hot and bothered. God, are they too comfortable with each other? Has the spark dimmed on their sex friendship? Are they well and truly only flatmates at this point? Or worse…

Has he met someone else?

Colin wouldn’t be cagey for no reason. He’s been backpacking across North America and bound to make a connection with some beautiful worldly woman with long legs and blemish-free tanned skin. A model, probably. Penelope always figured he'd fall in love with a model. One that will always feature perfectly in his posts; a muse for his media. Is Colin worried about pieing her off? Is that why he's been so odd?

It doesn’t matter. None of this matters. All that matters is that they stay friends.

Nearly a decade later and Penelope Featherington is still content savoring whatever scraps Colin Bridgerton deems to give her.

***

Colin: Pack a bag.

Pen: Why

Colin: Birthday surprise!

Pen: Colin...

Colin: And maybe an assignment I need to do in Wales and could not rearrange for next week....

Pen: How long we staying?

Colin: 2 nights.

Pack for hiking and swimming! 😊

-

They’re in for a ride. A 3-hour drive over to a private nature reserve in Wales known for beautiful scenery and six luxury cottages scattered across a few hundred acres of woodland. It's just an ordinary early-spring day - there is a chill in the air but the sun is still shining in strong warm hues. 

One hour in and the conversation has lulled comfortably. The Birmingham cityscape has turned to rolling hills along the motorway as they looped on Radio 4. Colin's lost a bet - or so he laments. Makes a grumble and a show of Pen changing the playlist he had programmed in when he picked up the rental car.  

Not even two seconds into her choice of tunes and Colin’s groaning. His distaste (more so at losing than the songs playing) reverberates the same second Pen’s mouth drops open to sing along. Her fingers turning the volume dial up and rolling down the window to scream-sing even louder. 

He watches her out the corner of his eye; one trained on the empty road ahead, the other gazing at Penelope. Her face fresh and glowing from a goodnights sleep, cheeks rosy with daylight highlighting her freckles since she foregone makeup (come to think of it she hasn't worn a full face around him in ages...? not that Colin is complaining. he prefers her natural beauty, much like he still prefers her with unruly red hair). Her fingers tapping on the windowsill. Happiness radiates from her half as intense as the waning sun over the horizon. 

Colin silently wishes he could watch her for hours, just existing in this space together like two normal people.

Another hour or two or twenty minutes ticks down and then…   

Colin’s eyes light up with the first chord. He hasn't heard this song since they were rowdy teenagers causing havoc all those summers at Aubrey Hall. God he's thrown back in time.

Pen feels it too; all the flashes and memories taking up space in the small sedan.

She doesn’t dare break the moment. Her gaze trained on the outside world passing by. Her fingers tap along as she mouths her favorite lines. 

He breaks the silence just after the second verse, voice low and reverent; "I haven't heard this in ages."

"Me either."

"Do you remember when...?"

"Yeah," she sighs fondly. "Yeah, I do."

Both Colin and Penelope relish the companionable silence surrounding them as the song plays through and into a '00s pop piece neither pay much attention to. 

-

“We made it,” she breathes as she fiddles to find the right key to the cabin that's been left in the lockbox for them. Colin holding his denim jack over the two of them as huddle under the awning in the freak hailstorm. 

He grumbles an agreement, still angered that the weather app could not predict this turn of events - so much for modern technology. It's Wales; he should be used to the unpredictable UK weather by now but the shift from a cloudless spring day to this and a drastic drop in temperature was so not on his bingo card today. Guess the hike's out of the question...

They enter the dark cabin, testing the switches, the lamps and even the fridge light as one last hopeful saving grace. Nothing’s working. With twin groans from opposite sides of the one bedroom cabin, they realize there’s no electricity. Stuck in the middle of some foresty hill estate in a storm with no electricity and no neighbors for miles, fucking perfect.

Colin paces around the living room as he calls his useless contact, then the inept property manager. He uses an authoritative voice that rivals Anthony's to borderline berate the person on the other end into fixing this nightmare of a compt'd stay before he has no choice but to publicise the poor facilities. Penelope hears his exasperation, his agitation radiating off the wooden pillars as she stokes the fire to life. Busies herself through the awkwardness by moving about grabbing blankets and pillows from various closets on fuzzy sock-clad tiptoes as he continues his bellows.

So many minutes pass for Colin in frustration. Enough that once he's hung up the phone after the fourth call out, he flops on the couch, hunched with his head in his hands. He barely hears when Penelope returns from the kitchen but he feels the old paisley-patterned couch dip as she curls up beside him. 

“The earliest they will send someone is 5AM," he groans through gritted teeth. "And the imbecile couldn’t even tell me where the breakers are. So much for a relaxing weekend.” 

“Glass half full,” she says as she offers him a mug. 

“What’s this?” He takes the ceramic in one large hand, pads of his fingers tingling with heat. 

“We have warm water, that’s something.” 

He grumbles once more. 

“It’s enough,” she justifies. 

Penelope looks at her watch. Then to where the couch is positioned too many feet from the fireplace. She unzips her bulky winter coat, discarding it on the armchair before effortlessly turning her attention to her pile of mismatched bedding. With a delighted sense of determination she wraps two thick throws around herself, cuddling all bundled up on the floor in front of the fireplace. 

Colin watches her every graceful movement shadowed in an amber glow. Intrigue setting in and eclipsing the distain souring their sacred time together, quickly morphing into admiration for the little pile of green and red tartan before him. 

In no time he’s grabbing his own blanket and settles next to her - around her. Penelope’s back leaning against his warm chest, Colin’s hands cradling her blue-tinted fingertips. His palms curling around her cold acrylic nails positioned in her lap.

“You’re freezing. Let’s go to a hotel.” 

“I’ll be fine,” she assures him, relishing in his embrace as she snuggles in closer. “I’ve got snacks, the fire and you.” 

He doesn’t need to see her face to know she’s donning a small simper. The way her head nuzzles against him and her hands tugging him tighter around her tells him all he needs to know.

Minutes upon minutes pass with them staring into the flames and Colin's hands mindfully mapping the edges of her body (and if he leans in and buries his nose in her hair, taking in the comforting scent, so be it).

An idea pops into his head - a silly little idea that makes him feel childish.

Colin extracts himself, much to Penelope's displeasure. He wanders in the ever-darkening space of the cabin to the sole bedroom. He finds the bed stripped of the duvet and pillows from Pen's nesting and grabs the rest of all he can find - pillows and throw pillows and a spare set of thermal sheets.   

Penelope watches him keenly when he returns, a raised brow as he chucks the couch cushions onto the floor. Stares intently as he pushes the coffee table far from the sitting area leaving a space for his grand plan - a plan that gets better the moment Pen rises and surmises - 

“The mattress would fit.” 

Colin's grin could light up the whole cabin.

Penelope helps him move the furniture and carry the double mattress in. They strip off the rest of their day-soaked clothes leaving them in their underwear and cuddle in the bed they make, talking and enjoying one another’s company like planned.

"So.." she begins "What's on the plan for the rest of the day?"

"We were supposed to go on a hike and have dinner at the pub in the woods."

"Is that the only way to get there?"

"There should be ATV's for us to use in the shed."

She looks at him incredulously.

"Or not," he chuckles. He can't blame her for not wanting to go out in this weather.

"Think they deliver?"

"Doubt it."

She hmph's. And a beat later asks the most important question:

"Can you survive on our rations or will you waste away?"

"I'll be fine for one night," he gallantly, confidently reassures. Colin isn't so melodramatic that the mere idea of skipping a meal or two would throw him and his endless stomach into a fit of despair. However... "What did we pack again?"

"Crisps, biscuits, sweets and cheese. A balanced diet if ever there was one."

"What kind of biscuits?"

"Does it really matter? You'll eat them regardless."

He makes a little noise somewhere between a huff and an agreement. His mind wandering to the food in their possession, how much there is and if it will be able to sustain them until morning when they can wander back to the welcome centre.

"Stop thinking about food."

"You put it in my head!"

"I can show you where to put your head."

He blanches. He didn't - This isn't what - my god woman. Pen is on her knees facing him, he feels hot and undressed by her heady gaze. She licks her bottom lip, fingers coyly tracing patterns across her bare stomach.

Colin's mouth is on hers before she can even implore further methods of seduction.

[utterlyinevitable]

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#colin 'i am your chaperone' bridgerton

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Benedict kissing Colin and Colin just being there accepting it with no reaction tells me that this happens more often than shown, and I can just imagine Anthony and Benedict just kissing their little brother incessantly just to annoy him and Colin just sitting there not being able to do anything but accept it makes my heart melt

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Where It Begins (28/?)

↪ series masterlist  

28. Boiler, boiler (cake & troubles)

Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Penelope Featherington   Format: textfic   Chapter Rating: T+ A/N: why didn't anyone tell me the longer images were hard to read?? to remedy that i'm doing plain text. hope you don't mind :)

Summary: Domestic interlude & a valentines day mix up

8th February

Colin: I’ve got five days free. Fancy a friend?

Pen: Don’t think you’ll wanna stay here

Colin: Too bad. I’m already on my way. What’s wrong?

Pen: Boilers broken. Haven’t had heat or a hot shower in three days.

Colin: Seriously!? Have you spoken to the building manager??

Pen: I’ve showered at the gym at work so I’m not stinky. BM is waiting for the landlord to approve works to be carried out

Colin: He could be off on a remote holiday for all we know! Gotta be breaking some sort of code at this rate.

Pen: It’ll get sorted. You can stay here just know I don’t have hot water. In most cases that’s a dealbreaker.

Colin: Sure it will.

Pen: Don’t do anything rash and get me evicted.

Colin: I would never. See you tomorrow afternoon 😘

-

He placed his keys ever so gingerly on the designated house-shaped plate by the door and toed off his trainers, careful not to make excessive noise. All the lights in the apartment turned out for the night save for the kitchen lamp always serving as a nightlight. It's well past midnight, Colin can't blame her for not waiting up - he is half a day late after all.

He strips down to his boxers and climbs into bed behind her, arm wrapping around her belly and cuddling in close like always, naturally. Penelope smells fresh and clean, but there's a lingering of the rare and expensive gardenia perfume he likes so much in her hair. He takes a deep breath, savoring.

"Sorry," he mutters next to her ear. "One delay led to another."

Pen hummed, still held by sleep but rolling from her belly and further into him.

"Did the plumber come?"

"Yea. How much do I owe you?" She cranes her neck, turning to look up over her shoulder with those beautifully heavy eyes of hers.

"Nothing," he says as he pushes some of her wild hair out of her face. An overwhelming urge to kiss her senseless overcomes him, but he settles for a lingering kiss to her forehead.

"Colin…"

"Think of it as rent for all my freeloading."

She’s too tired to argue, so she huffs and nuzzles back into her pillow.

Colin had the most peaceful sleep he’s had in weeks, cold room and hassling from his older brothers be damned.

***

13th February 9:13

Pen: Running a few errands, didn't want to wake you. Breakfast in a bag on the counter xx

11:18

Colin: Thank you ❤️

12:04

Colin: Heading out for a bit - when will you be home?

14:46

Pen: On my way back now!

-

Colin padded to the kitchen to find a brown box of delectable danishes waiting for him and a yellow post-it on top in her quick scrawl;

All yours! Just save me an eclair :)

He smiles at how well she knows him, and how she knows he'd always save her the last (and only in this case) eclair. That smile tugging at his cheeks as Colin grabs his French press and boils the water, beginning to make himself a cuppa. When he opens the fridge to reach for the milk, there's a pink box a great deal larger than the pastry box taking up the middle shelf. Nothing if not endlessly curious, Colin carefully slides the box out from where it's been skillfully wedged into the small appliance and peeks in. His heart stops and so do his breaths. There's a red heart-shaped cake staring back at him.

His blood runs hotter than the boiling bubbles behind him, that smile wanes until it's practically linear on his pressed lips.

They didn't speak about Valentine's Day, or any of the implications of it. Truthfully the holiday didn't even cross Colin's mind; and he certainly didn't purposefully plan to visit her this weekend. A happy coincidence really. But come to think of it, it is weird that he didn't book up anything anywhere. It's his job to capitalise on holidays and relevant social media-centric events, but he forgot? Doesn't the calendar in his phone automatically add holidays? He'll have to check that. Honestly how is it possible that Colin didn't put the pieces together? It's the most romantic day of the year! And he and Pen are...

Colin can only assume he didn't think they weren't doing anything considering their... roommate (the word makes him want to vomit) status. And because he leaves in the morning.

But the cake! The terrifying, gorgeous gesture of cake is staring him right in the face. That smile returns as a smirk and there's sparkles in his steps causing Colin to flit about on a new course of action. He immediately forgoes coffee, shoves a croissant in his gob and rushes to put clothes on. The boy is on a mission to not bungle this up.

When Colin returns home - lilacs and tulips in hand - Penelope is still nowhere to be found. Disappointing but also lucky, he can truly take this one step further; so Colin sets up some wine glasses on the little dining table, leaves space for the cake to take center stage, and picks a couple petals off the bouquet to tastefully scatter around the table. He’s not sure what she has planned for dinner, so he waits.

Pops on a fresh shirt and cologne, and waits.

Waits for 80 minutes.

Then, she comes home… with Sophie.

The two girls are giggling and Pen has a silk scarf over Sophie’s eyes. “Wait wait wait, you’re gonna LOVE this!” Pen laughs as she tries to tug her keys out of the lock once more than necessary, most definitely tipsy. She doesn’t even see him sitting stiffly on the couch as to not muss up his look, a book in hand.

She pads to the fridge and gasps so loudly. “What the-” Colin watches carefully as Pen starts to twirl around, eyes frantic and head swiveling, looking everywhere in the kitchen to find her surprise.

Finally, her eyes land on the impeccably decorated table.

“Oh my god!”

“What? What is it!?” Sophie all but shrieks from her spot she was left in, her hands hovering over her hair unsure if she should tear the blindfold off or not. 

Colin’s sheepish and besottedly bemused voice finally makes its appearance, “Happy Valentine’s Day.” 

Penelope twirls to see him rising from the couch with an amused smirk on his handsome face hiding the awkwardness he feels. Her blush pink lips are parted and her eyes are so comically wide it'd be hilarious in any other situation but this. She goes to say something, and Colin waits with bated breath. It's the same moment Sophie rips the blindfold off. 

“You GUYS!” she shrieks at the romantic setting before her. Her eyes meet Pen's, her soulful blue eyes blown and dilatated. “I am crashing your evening. I should go.” 

“No no no,” Pen turns from Colin, grabs Sophie’s wrist and tugs her closer to look over the cake. “I got this for you! For our Galentine's day tomorrow.” 

All three of them move across the room to peer at the writing on the cake that so delicately reads: You Fine AF. Sophie giggles, then the two of them burst out laughing. The two girls are consumed by a fit of uncontrollable laugher, falling and hugging one another. 

Colin takes that as his cue to cut the cake, and maybe grab two glasses of water too. 

This could have gone worse...

-

Two cups of tea and one hour later, Sophie skittered off and Colin and Pen have mostly finished clearing up the faux pas. He's washed and dried the dishes with nothing else to do as Pen masterfully fits the baked goods back in the fridge. It's so unbelievably quiet save for the rustling she's doing and the pounding embarrassment in his ears. They can't go on like this.

Colin leans up against the counter, tapping and pressing his fingers into the hard surface to distract himself, to seem so nonchalant about the whole failed affair.

"I apologize for- I thought…"

He can see her shake her head once from where his eyes are glued to the floor. "It’s fine. You didn’t know."

"Do you want... I should have asked if you wanted to do something instead of assuming..."

"It’s fine Colin." It might be his imagination but Colin swear she slammed the fridge shut. "We don’t have that kind of relationship."

"We...don't?"

"We’re friends."

"Friends, yea." But we're more than that, he wants to add. Will wish he had later when he's replaying this evening over and over in his head.

"Neither of us are looking for something serious," she asserts, her flickering gaze pinning him in place.

"Right."

There's an awkward silence as he stares at her, silently imploring for elaboration and she's looking anywhere but at him.

Penelope finds a spot on the ceiling behind him, takes in a breath and Colin has chills, the kind of chills you get before you drop on a rollercoaster or entering a haunted house, the anticipation of a good time but the dread of the unknown. "That’s why this works. You’re off gallivanting, living your dreams. And I’m making a name for myself in my own way."

His heart drops.

"I - yeah. Yeah, you’re right." He forces a smile as his catches a glimpse of the bouquet, the last remanent of his mild attempt at romantics.

"Did you pick up dinner? I’m starved."

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Nothing will ever make me laugh as hard as realising by the time these fuckers get a chaperone she's already pregnant

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benedict is the best character because he's always having the greatest b plot ever. season 1: ben finds out gay people exist. season 2: benny gets high on tea. season 3: bennydoodle has a threesome. his family is having the most dramatic drama filled time and he's just living his little bisexual life. king shit.

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★·.·´¯·.·★ joining of hands ★·.·´¯·.·★

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polin week day six: Double Date ♡ Luke Newton Appreciation Day

Unpopular opinion (probably) but I really do enjoy the Mondriches and I would love for them to have a real friendship with Colin and Penelope next season. Especially Penelope and Alice, I would love for them to bound while being at one of Lady Danbury's married Ladies parties (and giving us the Pen/Agatha friendship we wanted this season)

[utterlyinevitable]

We never talk enough about Anthony and Benedict reaction to the wedding.

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Colin “I’m so mad at my wife rn but I’m gonna sleep on the couch outside our bedroom because I miss her so much and I can’t function when she’s not near” Bridgerton

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me all the season:

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"These past few weeks have been full of confounding feelings. "

His hand hurts like his feelings. He doesn't care, because being without her hurts even more .