uzlahpeacock - Tumblr blog

[uzlahpeacock]

On blocking

Semalam pemilihan PKR Kuala Selangor dicemari penggunaan jammer. Tujuannya: halang isyarat daripada dihantar tablet ke cloud. Akhir sekali, pemilihan terpaksa digantung.

Dalam masa yang sama, facebook post Eekmal nampak gaya ada menyindir orang yang malas. Disebut jumlah gajinya selama ini. Malah ada disebut tentang merit dan pengalaman.

Aku kira, ada yang cuba menghalang kemasukan aku ke Pejabat MB. Sama ada terancang atau tidak. Siapa mereka, wallahua’lam.

Asalnya nampak seperti Fred la puncanya. Ditambah pula soalan soalan aneh daripada Eekmal dan Ammar tentang dia.

Tak juga terkejut kalau Eekmal lah orangnya. Tapi hati-hati lah dengan tuduhan macam ni. Puncanya pun Hasmi, kononnya pernah kena block dengan Eekmal.

Apa pun, kita berjaga dengan semua. Termasuk Furqan. Mungkin dia dah berubah hati—tak nampak lagi nilai yang boleh aku tambah. Dalam erti kata lain, aku ni dah tak berguna lagi. Sampah.

Paling nakal, memandangkan sampai hari ni pun Bantuan Sara Hidup Nabi tu tak pernah sampai, mungkin dari awal lagi semua panggilan telefon dan lain-lain ‘babak’ di Pak Li hanyalah wayang.

Dengan itu, berhentilah dari menjadi macai sesiapa. Tak semua orang berbaloi untuk kau buat baik, terutama sekali politisyen

[uzlahpeacock]

What the

I haven’t touch this thing for ages. Let’s see where this will go.

I just had an epiphany or the like right after I’ve watched this scene from Sinking of Van Der Wick. Its a wonderment how such silly love stories could quite inspire and stir up feelings deep inside.

Honour of a man. Dignity. This is the thing i ought to ponder.

And taking into consideration how therapeutic washing your own dishes could be, coupled with a couple of good Rock Kapak song right inside your two earbuds, it doesn’t take long before the melancholy feelings starts to kick in.

I should be more assertive to my needs; it’s only right to ask my future employer for a revised agreement that is mutually beneficial.

I shall do that tomorrow. With a bang!

Will take this up even to the CEO if it needs be.

Maybe my less than stellar drivenness is due to my being goalless.

Should I aim to have a PhD by 40?

What about money—should I have a million by then, too?

Let’s not forget other areas such as being healthy, or being well read, or cultured.

It’s a long way to go since I’m only starting. And it’s a long way till my debt is cleared.

I called Alan today for my blunder in not completing a commissioned work.

(This is a another one in the long list of unfulfilled task such as Megc’s book, Pak Khalid’s book, ITBM’s book and more. Gosh, it’s that bad, huh?)

But it felt good to be able to come to terms with things.

I should move on and start doing real shit now. Make peace with Lope, Mak and others since I’m here to stay

[uzlahpeacock]

10 most stupid mistakes i've ever done

Dear Stupid,

Please find below the mistakes you have done to yourself financially, in no order:

1. Buying a re-conditioned BlackBerry instead of a new one. [damage: RM700]

2. Paying for the Data subscription bill of item 1 without using it at all for three consecutive months. [damage: RM 500]

3. Using my credit card for my wedding expenses. [damage: too much to state here]

4. Paid cash for a rarely-used designer sunglasses for fear of losing face, when you should just go out of that shop when the card was rejected. [damage: RM 1,800]

5. Subscribe to a year-worth of facial services when neither I nor her actually used it. [damage: RM2,000]

6. Bought an "exclusive" 1-year-free-ride membership of Sunway Lagoon but only went there twice. [damage: RM 495 x 2]

7. Signing-up for a second credit card. [damage: speechless]

8. Being a good samaritan by offering to lend my credit power to help a friend to buy his camera and a watch. [damage: RM 3,000 and a bunch of penalties]

9. Shopping on the assumption that a big amount of bonuses and incentive will be made available in the forthcoming month when the actual payout was only a fraction of that. [damage: you did this to yourself]

10. Assuming that adopting a cat or two actually cost a little when it is actually expensive and troublesome. [damage: RM 500 + RM 155 + RM 200 ++]

Oh, you should be ashame of yourself!

[uzlahpeacock]

hello, world?

this writing should have been done long ago. not that i dont want to. i so want to. but i cudnt. didnt have the time. or cant find the time. whatever

i'mma start by saying that i've been to a few writing workshop. none of it really made me a writer. i know somehow that i can write; i just dont know how good i am at it. or how good i can be at it.

there's just too many stuff up in my head. and dont say that self-censorship didnt distract me from focusing on my craft: nah-ah, THAT's what stopping me all this time.

I think I am finally doing it right now because I'm fucken bored with my job right now. Scratch that, i'm bored with my life. There's this void i feel everytime i go to work. and i think i have been living mindlessly far too long.

maybe i need to start to have some kind of objective. yea, that'll do. put some focus into it. but i dont really know how to. or what. so here i am. blindly walkin around.

my other half asked me the other day about the standard of living i want to have. yeah, that might get me goin. think bout it, i havent had much thot on that before. all i know that i want to ensure that my young'uns should have atleast the kind of life i got when i was growin up; nothing lesser than that than i am a failed father. but now that i considered the decision to have little ones in another 3 years or so, i gotta have some ambition NOW. gotta aim for something, know what im saying?

writing this down might be a little healing. might not help much in my journey of becoming something. hell it might even be a total waste! but that's that. i dont know what else to do. this might not be something; but atleast i got it off my mind. i mean, the idea of having to write something have been bugging for me for quite awhile now.

hey, doing it now doesnt seem that hard anymore. hell, i might even be good at this. look how far and long ive written within this few minutes (eventhough it's not substantial anyway).

i got to these few websites giving me different kind of advice on how to move on from this phase of non-action to actually an active one. the first is telling me to write whatever that comes to mind; the other does not. but i figured that the latter might rings true for novel. i'm not. far from that. i just need to express myself. put thoughts into sentence.

if i'm lucky i'll be writing rap verses and lyrics. but maybe for now i'll just translate!

[uzlahpeacock]

post-cum existentialism