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maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

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posts for people who hate freud: the sequel

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Reminder!

Check that you don't define yourself by traits you no longer have.

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Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

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Friend group chats are fun. Today one of my friends, who keeps pet crayfish, found babies in a tank that was supposed to be a males only. No choice but to empty out the whole tank to fish out the babies of unknowable origins. But lo and behold, there was a culprit: one teeny tiny little female had somehow escaped containment, evidently specifically going out of her way to break into this all male tank to get railed by like 15 males twice her size. Possibly completely different breed, too. Monsterfucker supreme.

So for a good solid hour or so, the whole group chat was focused on. slutshaming this one specific little crustacean. With like 300 babies.

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saw this poster in my dream and immediately woke up to google who the fuck is Pedro S. 

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first base is ripping each other's throats out second base is fucking and then pretending it didn't happen after it's over. third base is falling unconscious from blood loss in the other's arms

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I am vaguely irrationally annoyed by erotic fruit photography. And no I don't mean nudes of flamboyant dudes, I mean bright high-definition studio photography of food that's clearly done like that on purpose. Like damn that is an entirely unnecessarily brightly lit glistening close-up of a tangerine.

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I've never had a real near-death situation, but this one time I came uncomfortably close to sarcastically suggesting nationwide mass suicide to my boyfriend's whole extended family, whom I had just met.

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i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

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@juicymori all of our ocs simultaneously

what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

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Me, age 10, doing an essay on the pharoah’s curse for school: huh. So this archeologist that died and everyone thought it was because he disturbed the pharoah’s tomb actually died because he used a rusty razor to shave and it infected a mosquito bite. I can see how people could come to that conclusion, but it is a bit silly

Me, today, shaving my mosquito bite-ridden legs: I must tread carefully lest I incur the pharoah’s wrath

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I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

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Hello skinny tgirl. Lately you've been complaining that your tits aren't growing. In front of you is a plate of food.