v3il

[v3il]

hey systems I would advise you to keep a certain number of things out of your bio because OSDDID inherently says a lot about your past and triggers so there are certain details only your close friends should know, and not just anyone perusing the internet

your age - predators are more than happy to fake their age to match yours. Being young and plural are unfortunately traits prone to manipulation

your headcount - aside from assholes fakeclaiming you, people can take it and use it against you.

who your trauma holders are, and, more generally, the roles of your alters. it's basically telling abusers who to target and who to avoid

any information about your littles whatsoever. For all the world knows, you have none. same with who age regresses.

any system descriptors beyond DID/OSDD1/PDID/etc. the internet does not need to know if you have complex DID or something like that; it's your trauma.

what your triggers are. people will try to trigger you on purpose. this includes front triggers

all your other disorders, particularly personality disorders - abusers can try to make you dependent, "favorite" them, avoid others, etc.

These aren't rules, and there are obviously different situations that call for different levels of privacy. Just use your judgment: who can see this? anyone who came across my blog or people I friended on simply plural? trusted friends on simply plural? Systems are very vulnerable to further abuse because of their fragmentation and trauma mindsets. Don't let anyone take advantage of that.

[v3il]

the thing that makes me really nervous about people sending me really knotty and vulnerable personal questions that I am very obviously not qualified to answer is like. look. I'm not special. I'm a dumbass who's amassed too many followers because knowledgeable about like two things and I like to yap. I make a really concerted effort not to position myself as any kind of authority or expert and to manage people's expectations of me. and STILL I get these long wretched asks from people, like, begging me to tell them whether they're fundamentally good people or not. which I will not do, because I'm a reasonable person! but it worries me how easily some people will evidently turn to Just Some Internet Guy for insight and meaning, because a lot of those guys (gender neutral) who have much bigger platforms than me and no sense of their own fallibility and they absolutely think they have some great insight to share. and next thing you know you're in that guy's cult.

[v3il]

Not mine, credit to @audhdwithzoe on tiktok!

[v3il]

God, I usually hate commenting on syscourse, but can I just rant about something real quick?

DID/OSDD is not fun. It is not a bunch of friends in your head. There is no such thing as DID without dissociation and there is no such thing as DID without childhood trauma.

I have parts inside that are so incredibly toxic and they do it in the name of protection. They want to protect so badly that they destroy and manipulate other parts of the system to achieve their ideal world of protection.

I have parts that destroy outside relationships because they want to protect us from harm.

I have parts that want to be close to our old abusers because they are desperate for love.

We are not a bunch of bros in a frat house. We are not BFFs. We do not have silly little spats. We have full on wars that create so much tension I feel like I'm going to explode. I have to act like I'm fine on the outside but I'm actually dying on the inside. Every day is a constant battle of dissociation and amnesia and people like to make it into a little game. Some kind of fucked up roleplay that they do for fun. It is sickening and makes light on an incredibly serious and life-altering disorder.

I'm not saying there are never good moments. It is not always 100% suffering. But it's not fun and games all the time either and it's frustrating to see people think that it is. Real life mental health professionals scoff at DID because they see people that fake it for fun, which makes it THAT much harder to be taken seriously. It is so so frustrating to be constantly invalidated and shamed for our disorder. It hurts. You all know who you are.

-a blurry mess

[v3il]

Idk maybe that's why

[v3il]

augh. the Horrors

[v3il]

Common things in DID that no one likes to talk about

- switches that feel like you’re turning into someone else rather than them taking control (non-possessive switching)

- being unable to recognize amnesia until something requires you to remember something you forgot

- staying in the front for weeks at a time

- being unable to communicate with alters internally (this is so common why does everyone act like this is weird?)

- feeling like you don’t have any problems because you feel disconnected from them

- constant denial

- rapid identity, label, and appearance changes

- comorbidities, particularly personality disorders, anxiety disorders, and the schizophrenia spectrum

- autism (there is science pointing towards autistic people being more susceptible to trauma)

- disliking your system

- wanting final fusion

[v3il]

DON'T PUT YOUR TRIGGERS AND/OR PHOBIAS IN YOUR WEBSITES/PINNED POSTS/BIOS/ETC. FOR EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET TO SEE. ONLY TRUSTED PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT INFORMATION, NOT THE WHOLE INTERNET. YOU WILL GET HURT!!! MEAN PEOPLE WILL USE IT AGAINST YOU!!!

[v3il]

my new years resolution was to get fatter but by god the loss of appetite from my meds is making it hard

[v3il]

happy autism awareness day to all the girls who had “ friends” growing up who were actually bullying them . to the girls who always sat alone in the grass and wondered why nobody wanted to talk . to the girls who spoke to animals like they were listening . to the girls who created a little world in their room . to the girls who always felt ashamed for how deeply they love things and how passionately they enjoyed media . to the girls who covered their ears when they were overwhelmed by everything . to the girls who carrying a special thing around to feel safe . to the girls who never understood what they did wrong to feel so lonely . to the girls who were diagnosed later in life because they weren’t little boys who liked trains. you are so special and beautiful and you’re not worse for it, you love deeply and that is so wonderful please never try to push that down . I LOVE YOU !!!!!

[v3il]

i did. 1 ☝️ assignmence today

[v3il]

woah mama is it the sertraline or am i having a hot flash

[v3il]

coffy :)

[v3il]

Casual reminder that the following things are considered traumatic to small children

- neglect (physical and/or emotional)

- living in an emotionally unstable environment (for example, having parents that fight often)

- any kind of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse (not just from parents)

- consistent bullying

- etc

Remember that what is traumatic to a child is not the same as what is traumatic to you now. So think again before saying your trauma ‘isn’t bad enough’

[v3il]

for autism acceptance month i think it's important that we understand that autism acceptance can't be based on the lowest common denominator. which means we can't simplify autism to only the broad aspects that appeal to the largest group of people (ableds). it was wrong of people to act like autism was a horrible disease that "stole your child" from you. it's also wrong to act like common symptoms of classical autism are only stereotypes that have to be shut down. there's going to be lots of different ways that people with autism behave, how their symptoms manifest, what they struggle with. instead of acting like there's some one true presentation of autism, acknowledge how varied it is. how many aspects of someone's life it can affect. how they're different severities and different presentations. include autistic people who are like you and autistic people who are not like you

[v3il]

happy autism awareness day to all the girls who had “ friends” growing up who were actually bullying them . to the girls who always sat alone in the grass and wondered why nobody wanted to talk . to the girls who spoke to animals like they were listening . to the girls who created a little world in their room . to the girls who always felt ashamed for how deeply they love things and how passionately they enjoyed media . to the girls who covered their ears when they were overwhelmed by everything . to the girls who carrying a special thing around to feel safe . to the girls who never understood what they did wrong to feel so lonely . to the girls who were diagnosed later in life because they weren’t little boys who liked trains. you are so special and beautiful and you’re not worse for it, you love deeply and that is so wonderful please never try to push that down . I LOVE YOU !!!!!

[v3il]

April is Autism Awareness month, and April 2nd is Autism Awareness day, but we need more than just awareness now. The problem now isn't that people aren't aware of autism, but that they don't accept or understand it. The ignorance when it comes to autism is staggering, especially in the medical field and in politics.

The more people have been willing to listen to autistic people, and the more autistic people put themselves into medical professions, the more factual information has come out about autism. When I was diagnosed 22 years ago I didn't know another autistic person, but now, as we've learned more about autism, more and more autistic people are being diagnosed, instead being overlooked.

I'm always happy to see more autistic creators out there being open about their lives and their realities, helping people realize the reality of autism. We're well beyond the point of just seeking awareness. People are aware. What we need now is Autism Acceptance!