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Is this a normal message to send, semi-on topic. Is this why I have trouble finding people who actually like me. Should I stop saying every thought that comes to mind.

"They also have a purple one that is ube flavour I think. I've never tried ube so idk what it tastes like but I always imagine it to be the same as edamame because the words are similar, and green bean flavoured iced latte seems weird to me. If you wanted to know my train of thought on that."

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The difference between them is like. Bonnie didn't even want to be saved, and she didn't need to be either. It wasn't the exact life she imagined for herself, but she did get some of the aspects of that life and she was living, and happy, and in love. And she was loved in return.

But with Lottie she so clearly does need to be saved from the life she was tricked into and that turns into an abusive relationship, even if she won't admit it to herself. It was no longer just the last few decades of her life thrust into a role she didn't want to play, but suddenly the rest of eternity being spent on the run from a toxic ex with no chance of reprieve.

In the end, I don't think Bonnie would have changed anything if she knew what her fate was from the beginning. With Lottie, and the way she spent decades thinking about what if, I am not convinced that in the end, she thinks the initial thrill was worth all the pain that came afterwards for her.

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Thanks to CLYDE AND CLYDE!

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I don't know how to express the sentiment of 'I am having a perpetual sadness and kind of just want to lie down in the corner of the room and wither away into nothing, and I don't know if anyone would notice or care if I did' other than just saying that my heart feels really sad

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having a friend crush is so god damn embarrassing like yeah.... i like how you play toys and i think youre really cool..... and im scared to talk to you........do you wanna..... play toys with me too...... or something...... its whatever if not..... kicks a rock. Fuck my life dude

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“kill them with kindness” WRONG! MR. ELECTRIC SEND HIM TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE AND HAVE HIM EXPELLED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Actually getting out and doing stuff is what is giving me the will to live right now, but then I get stressed out about deciding when to book stuff and all that

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love saying "question mark?" out loud when I'm talking about something i'm unsure of

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I am so grateful for my one friend. She reaches to me almost every day, and doesn't seem to mind my novel-length messages and seems to want to know what I have to say, and validates my thoughts even when I know I am being insane and/or dramatic about something. Really don't know what I would do without her and she's one of the big reasons that makes me want to keep going

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Asking my friends if they wanna do something together is so nerve wracking what if they say no and admit that they've always hated me and then they come and beat me to death with sticks

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how to be alone, a lonely person's guide:

1. make a mug of tea, try to appreciate the silence. you can hear every bubble in the kettle if you really try. hold your cup gently, press it against your body. feel the warmth spreading. graze your knuckles against it, feel them sting. forget about it until its cold. sometimes tea isnt even about drinking it, it's just about having something to keep you company.

2. go out to lunch, because you decided you were going to. you dont need a reason to get your favourite food, youre allowed to do it! when the waitress asks you if you are waiting for someone, try not to cry.

3. realise how quiet lunch is when it's just you. you didnt bring anything to do, that was stupid. what was the plan? just eat too quickly, leave even faster. maybe next time bring a book or something, you know one of the ones youre always pretending you will read? yeah that one.

4. go see a movie! movies are a great way to pass the time. try not to look at the couples and friend groups. noone cares that youre alone, they probably dont even notice. try not to think about it. theyre not laughing at you just stop thinking about it.

5. take up a hobby, tumblr blogging or journaling or knitting or hoarding. it helps fill the time. arent the days just so long? its crazy how much time you have. youre looking at the clock too often, stop doing that! seriously, it just makes time go slower. why cant you just enjoy yourself? do you even like knitting? what do you like then? whatever i guess you can just go to sleep early.

6. take a sleeping pill, take a few. have a drink. why not? its not like anyone is keeping track. pick up smoking again, because you forgot why you quit in the first place. it feels good, whats wrong with just wanting to feel good sometimes? youre young it doesnt even matter. tomorrow will be better. tomorrow you will be better. figure it out, it wont always be this hard. tomorrow will be better.

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I need comfort and for someone to tell me everything will be ok 😥

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Ok it was literally fine and I had a lovely time

I hate social anxiety. I am always sad I can never go out with anyone or make plans with people. And can someone explain why that now I have last minute dinner plans I am incredibly stressed, anxious, could cry, and want to go hide in my room under my blankets :(

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I hate social anxiety. I am always sad I can never go out with anyone or make plans with people. And can someone explain why that now I have last minute dinner plans I am incredibly stressed, anxious, could cry, and want to go hide in my room under my blankets :(

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I keep seeing stuff about job searching etc... and it's making me so stressed and scared for the future. I don't know if anything is going to work out for me ever, and I feel almost cheated (?) because I worked so hard all through school and university and it was always the impression that doing that and being top of the class etc... will set you up for life and finding out now that was all a lie and I'm basically just worthless now that I'm in real adult life is so disheartening, and it's hard to even keep trying

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was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.