vaindumbass

[vaindumbass]

let's be as good as gravy with mama. in Wigan.

[vaindumbass]

MORPHEUS IN WIGAN: you think that's gravy you're eating

[vaindumbass]

in wigan attempts to define it without reference to gravy implicitly invite the comparison anyway through gravy's conspicuous absence

[vaindumbass]

she pey on my wet til im good as gravy

[vaindumbass]

In wigan it occupies a space distinct from but equally as valued as gravy

[vaindumbass]

in wigan it isn't gravy

[vaindumbass]

in good it's as gravy as wigan

[vaindumbass]

in wigan its indistinguishable from gravy

[vaindumbass]

According to all known laws, in Wigan, its as good as gravy

[vaindumbass]

(never degraded someone before) you have your mother's cruelty. and your father's cowardice.

[vaindumbass]

if i made a bruce springsteen movie it would all be made up. not even a biopic. the e street band gets abducted by aliens and has to learn to bring peace to two warring planets through the power of song

[vaindumbass]

happy pride month to the fuck tree I guess

[vaindumbass]

Today I was trying to chat up this girl standing with her friend at a lesbian bar and said “oh are you two together?” meaning were you friends before being next to each other at this bar and one turns to the other and goes with all the venom of a black mamba snake “I don’t know Cara, are we?” and I was like you know what? not my table

[vaindumbass]

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

[vaindumbass]

“work wife” let’s take this to the next level. Work ex-wife. we had something once

[vaindumbass]

You know the old proverb. If you have a shirt thats good. Wear it everyday till you die

[vaindumbass]

it's like the old saying goes, The customer is always wrong and it's legal to kill them