vainglorious-vanguard

[vainglorious-vanguard]

Dear Ms. Grayelle-

What do you have against Mr. Virgil, anyways?

He's one of the hardest working men I've ever met!

Signed- Mrs. Virgil. @questioncoolmidnight

I do not understandeth what thou seeth in that malevolent stain upon the land. He beest an arrogant, egotistical, despicable fiend who believeth himself higher in status than his fellows. I wouldst recommend thou divorceth him. Taketh his cats, if thou must.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

i wonder how dividend king is doing...

- @littletsarbomba

I hath not seeneth him in recent times, though I am sureth he simply beest busy with his work. Apparently he worketh closely with the Chief Operating Officer.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

Ms Grayelle, may I have a hug?…

I supposeth so. Come hither, and ensureth thou art not filthy enough to staineth mine suit.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

Hello Ms Grayelle I heard a certain Suit that works in Maintenance has feelings for ya!

- a level 2 pencil pusher

Is that so? I demandeth thou reveal this information at once. Telleth me who it is that seeketh mine affection, so I may determineth the best way to telleth them I am not interested.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

throws a pie at you

Thou hast caughteth me in a good mood! I shall giveth thee three seconds to run. Thy timer begins now.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

So I take it you're courting Mary?

Nay, I do not court anyone! I beest the one who ist courted, obviously. Those who doth not seeth me befitting of courtship beest not worth mine time!

...Mary doth not courteth me, before thee asks.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

("ngl anon i love this dave trauma storyline" too afraid to reblog but Yaauy 🎉 only made the storyline just to have fun) (words of wisdom (/j): i fucking hate dave brubot)

(OOC: SO real <3 I need that bear obliterated)

[vainglorious-vanguard]

"Dave beest frightening at times, but I assureth thee he meaneth no harm. To most." yeah to everyone but ME!!! :(((

"do not goeth on stage" i was already planning on not going on his stage,, i don;t think i could handle even being CLOSE to him again. honestly i think until i forget what happened i'll just try to stay away from mezzo melodyland entirely

Keeping thine distanceth from Brubot seemeth like the best course of action for thee. I beest unaware of what transpired between thou and hymn, but I careth not enough to ask.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

"I wouldst have to knoweth which Suit thou feareth so much to giveth proper advice." ..its dave :(

i think ever since what happened a few months back i've just been in fear of him ever since. and honestly this fear is starting to become draining but i dont habve the guts to see his face again i'd pronbably go into the cog equivalent of cardiac arrest if i had to see him in person again

Ah, tis thou! I beest unsure what hath caused you such fear, but I wouldst recommendeth therapy. I hath heard many stories of its usefulness.

Dave beest frightening at times, but I assureth thee he meaneth no harm. To most. Be wary if thee find thyself in hys audience, and do not goeth on stage.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

"Murder is highly illegaleth" aw.

are there like. legal loopholes or ways to get said suit i dislike fired then??

or at least ways to get better not live in fear any longer? if you have any tips pls tell im sick of being costantly afraid :[

Hmm. I wouldst have to knoweth which Suit thou feareth so much to giveth proper advice. Of course, if thou beest a Toon, thou couldst simply do battle with this Suit. An honorable way to faceth thine fear.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

Maybe let Misty know you didn't mean to hurt her feelings, you just disagree with her? She's kinda just sensitive to stuff like that...

...Mary would appreciate it if you did that i think

Hmm. I shall considereth it. I truly did not meaneth to upset her, however I do not seeth the purpose in befriending the enemy. I will telleth this to them post-haste.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

ms. gatekeeperrrr...... uis murder legal in cog nation or will i be like. taken into custody for that. because theres someone really really specific that i do not like

cause on one hand i'd probably no longer live in fear but on the other hand... i don't. i don't think i want to be in jail.

Murder is highly illegaleth. Prester wouldst not beeth alive were it not.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

hey, what happened between you and misty?

I merely stated the obvious idiocy of her pathetic attempts to befriendeth Toons! Tis not mine fault they began to cry. I do not seeth why Misty nor Mary are so upseteth at the truth.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

i heard youre like reeeaaaallyyy strong but how strong exactly?

I beest strong enough to lifteth a Toon's "Big Weight" with only one of mine hands easily. I hath also proven mine strength by carrying mine beloved Mary atop mine shoulders! Though I shall admiteth it was more difficult.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

i like horses and being a horse on occasion. if you could also be a horse on occasion how would you use such a power

~ @beximus-feencog-bonker

If I were bestowed with the power of a Horse, I wouldst use mine speed and strength to performeth mine duties twice as valiantly! Though, submitting complaints againsteth Prester wouldst be difficult without hands...

[vainglorious-vanguard]

hi miss grayelle (◕︵◕) hq said to fight ya but i dont wanna. is it ok if i just throw this pie in your general vicinity n say it missed n we just call it a day (◠‿◠)

Tis a wiseth decision to avoideth a fight with mineself. I couldst easily squasheth thee like a pest. Do not throweth the pie, I shall accepteth it as an offering of peace.

[vainglorious-vanguard]

have you been officially knighted or anything?

Of courseth! To layeth claim to a title I do not hold wouldst be most dishonorable. I hath been knighted by the Dividend King himself many years ago, beforeth I had even begun working at C.O.G.S. Inc.