valeovalairs - Tumblr blog

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let’s go lesbians

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babygirl there are fandoms on my dashboard that i havent even heard of

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Sam broke up with Alice.

He broke up with Alice because she didn't know how to take some things seriously. She didn't know when to turn off the jokes. She made one too many jokes about something that wasn't funny and Sam got sick of it.

Do you ever wonder if Alice sat alone in her flat, wishing she was a different person so that she could be what Sam wanted?

And now he needs a job and she wants him back in her life. As a coworker, as a friend, anything. She'll take anything. She misses him.

She's learned her lesson this time. And now every time Sam tells Alice to "turn it off" she does so without any hesitation. She shuts right the hell up. She doesn't do that with any other person in the office. But for Sam, she'll try and be what he wants her to be.

And he goes and gets a crush on his coworker. Not Alice, though. Never Alice. No, he gets a crush on the beautiful, emotionally available girl that he has no past with and all the promises of a future. And she has to watch him bounce around her in a twitter pated mess, trying and failing to flirt and she remember what it was like when he was flirting with her. She remember that sweet, earnest care he gave her and how he too once offered her his good teas.

Maybe it wasn't enough just to be coworkers, to be friends. But it's too late now.

And now he comes back from his date, drunk and happy and looking like he's just a few more dates from getting lucky. She probably doesn't make awkward jokes because she doesn't know how to be real and authentic. Celia's probably perfect for Sam, the way Alice never was.

And now all Alice has left are the jokes, so she makes them and she hopes they hide everything.

They don't. Of course they don't.

"Be professional."

And now she's standing there. The ex girlfriend who's not over her old flame and everyone in the office knows it. She's standing there alone and Sam has robbed her of all the jokes.

Who is she without them?

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Alice makes me want to froth at the mouth what do you MEAN she's a snarky character with not so secret depths who's most probably still in love with her coworker turned ex oh and also she's a horror protagonist and very aware of it

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i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday

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So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)

Reblog to increase sample size!

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A persons fanfic tells you a lot about them, i , a fanfic writer, realize in terror

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love how tumblr has decided not to feel bad for the victim of tmagp 13 simply because he’s a finance bro

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It makes me happy when they listen

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I present: burnt out gifted kid Samama Khalid everyone

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BRING OUT THE RED STRING AND CORKBOARDS FOLKS

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Awesome, here ya go @avrerrotheroach

Again, they’re kind of vague sometimes and unhinged but hopefully they help. They help me at least (the more vague ones are the really memorable ones imo that I don’t have trouble remembering)

So so far we’ve got:

1 Stranger statement that like ate someone’s husband or something? Or not themed them. Idk. Norris read this one.

1 Canaries and the Magnus institute where someone presumably gouged their eyes out? Or maybe it was like, some of Jonah’s Eyes. This was kind of warning, don’t fuck around and find out, don’t go to the Magnus institute. Chester read this one, obviously.

2 Artist gets a painful tattoo from an influencer (ink5oul <3) and then paints themself. Like. PAINTS. Like she is ripping herself apart. And now is in court mandated zoom therapy. Because apparently the paint was actually acid and she wasn’t redesigning herself just melting herself. Very flesh. Bit spiral maybe?

3 Doctor who murdered his wife gets a rash and becomes tree.

4 Violince (violin needs human sacrifice to make really nice music) slaughter? Because music and if no sacrifice people start murdering each other.

5 Horror movie fan does not belong in the horror genre! He is dumb!!! He did not notice any of the horror red flags and probably died!! The anti Joshua gellipsie!!  He who is a horror movie reviewer won  a personal screening to some niche horror movie. The movie was some stalker thing on his life.

6 Needles. (Slay king. Also he sort of reminds me of Michael) he’s so funny. “Sir you’re clearly not well.” “I’d like to change my answer I did stab him” he tried to dox the guy on the phone because he wasn’t scared of needles.

7 Accidentally over hired too many people for a holiday thing at hilltop (!!!) and they were overeager to donate really weird stuff. A buried statement (?)and weird artefacts (maybe a salesa thing? Idk I like the theory of it being connected to the homophobic vase lmao). An unnamed security company arrived and shot up the volunteers and then set the place on fire. Had to relisten to it and only really took in how weird it was on the second listen.

8 Liminal spaces mess with people (lonely?) and there’s some weird people (stranger?). They’re canibalistic??? Divorcee architecture student loses finger and jumps out window.

9 Man slanders dnd and gets cursed d6. It’s dnd irl. Low roll bad things, good roll, good things. Man rolls snake eyes (?) and dies brutally to a truck. And then this idiot rolled it one last time and died too. (This ones a statement from the actual Magnus institute yoo) 

10 BONZOBONZOBONZO (skin clown that murders people and has not soft teeth and maybe can read?)

11 Graveyard construction but corpse got tatted by inksoul (we meet again) and now belongs to the sea. Buried? Lonely (bc sea)????

12 BONZOBONZOBONZO (the bonzo hit that Lena sent out. At a strip club. The bachelor party wanted bonzo to give the groom a lap dance. he proceeded to rip off the grooms arms, tear his face in two, dismember, and then eat everyone in the room a little bit as a snack including the lady making the drinks she just lost her hand. He only killed the groom I think and just ate a bit off of everyone else? She’s suing the strip club, good for her.)

13 Money is evil, guy who got rich with crypto and stuff goes broke and “bets against himself” and because he’s doing shit he gets money. This results in self harm to gain money to the point bro jumps off a cliff to make bank. He loses money because he wasn’t supposed to do that. A bug thing with a drill crawled out of his phone. I didn’t like this guy.

Trying to keep track of cases this time around would anyone be interested in seeing the notes/summaries I have written down for everything?

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much as i do DESPERATELY hope that [error] is a tma character, i think it would be very very very fun if they were one of the Fucked Up Child Experiments/archive candidate??? left to rot instead . and sam realising This is what he could've become etc and so on

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just wait until norris starts reading out his poetry unprompted

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today's "statement" is... the kind of story that season 1 jon would TEAR APART

i wanna hear jon's absolutely SCATHING commentary so fucking bad i can HEAR his (disgruntled sigh) 😂😭

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