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🎶Social media feed! Reblog heavy!🎵

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>two parts oatmeal one part milk

that shit goes down smooth as silk

>two parts oatmeal one part rice

kinda weird but could be nice

>two parts oatmeal one part stew

now it's getting hard to chew

>two parts oatmeal one part mole

um no thanks i'm really full

>two parts oatmeal one part mouse

what the fuck dude leave my house

>two parts oatmeal one part arm

where'd that come from who'd you harm

>two parts oatmeal one part ned

who is that oh god he's dead

>two parts oatmeal one part gourd

oh fuck yeah i'm back onboard!

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Sugar from Drop-Out (link) is canonically an intersex lesbian using she/her pronouns, and she has hirsutism with other unspecified traits detected in-utero.

Requested by @transgenderuwo

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French aristocracy in 1793

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thoughts on Katy Perry/Justin Trudeau?

It genuinely doesn't even compute. It gives me a feeling of unreality. Lots of things nowadays make me feel like "we can't be living in the real world, this can't be happening" but this is by far the most lowest stakes thing that makes me feel that way

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Lesser-known steps of the writing process:

Finding all the paragraphs where you used some hyper-specific word more than once

Rearranging paragraphs that you swear you wrote in the right order but turned out to be totally backwards

Going for a walk, coming up with the perfect line, and forgetting it as soon as you get home and open your laptop

Creating a separate document where you can dump all of those nice sentences that no longer fit in anywhere

Waking up in a cold sweat because so-and-so was supposed to be barefoot but never actually took his shoes off

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Old Man Eating Alone in a Chinese Restaurant

by Billy Collins

I am glad I resisted the temptation, if it was a temptation when I was young, to write a poem about an old man eating alone at a corner table in a Chinese restaurant.

I would have gotten it all wrong thinking: the poor bastard, not a friend in the world and with only a book for a companion. He'll probably pay the bill out of a change purse.

So glad I waited all these decades to record how hot and sour the hot and sour soup is here at Chang's this afternoon and how cold the Chinese beer in a frosted glass.

And my book — José Saramago's Blindness as it turns out — is so absorbing that I look up from its escalating horrors only when I am stunned by one of his gleaming sentences.

And I should mention the light that falls through the big windows this time of day italicizing everything it touches — the plates and teapots, the immaculate tablecloths,

as well as the soft brown hair of the waitress in the white blouse and short black skirt, the one who is smiling now as she bears a cup of rice and shredded beef with garlic to my favorite table in the corner.

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internet safety we were taught as kids: don't share ANY personal information with ANYONE EVER the british government: you don't want to give these random third parties your photo or driving licence showing your name, birthday, address and signature? are you perhaps a nonce?

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Okay so I’m an elementary school art teacher right, and I have this really fun game I made a PowerPoint for to teach like, emotions and intent and looking at the whole picture to first grade.

The idea is, when we count down and change slides, kids have to mimic one thing in the painting as best they can, whether it’s animate or inanimate. If there’s nothing in the shot for them to mimic (because I threw some contemporary abstract stuff in), they have to show me how the painting makes them feel. Easy enough, gets them excited to move around and vocal about their feelings regarding art, it’s very chaotic. I can tell pretty fast who’s got the emotional maturity to mimic things in a complex way, and who’s just enough of an abstract thinker to mimic inanimate objects early on in the game...

So the first picture is this:

Napoleon Crossing the Alps. My favorite reactions are usually the kids who pretend to be the freaked-out horse, but 2 memorable occasions were the one where a student immediately scrunched up to be the rock in the foreground, and the one where a pair of girls, without any communication on their parts, decided to be Napoleon riding the horse with one as Napoleon and one as the horse. Basically one of them fully tackled the other apropos of nothing, it was hilarious

I’ll add more if y’all want or if I feel like it lol I have a bunch of stories from this one game

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So sad to hear about Donald Trump. My heart goes out to everyone affected by the tragedy this morning

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irish coworker: *is back from a month in italy*

me: the weather must have been great, you're looking so tanned!

irish coworker: *stares down at his arms, which are a shade of eggshell white i associate with tasteful wedding table settings* i suppose i am!

welsh coworker: *enters room* wow, youre looking so tanned!

ghanaian coworker: *looks around like hes on the truman show*

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Really confused as to how my logo changed to kermit the frog. Unless im starting to have hallucinations from lack of sleep. Still. mindfucked. 

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I found someone’s tumblr logged in on this computer and all I did was change the icon

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best thing tumblr ever did for me is the term "rotating it in my mind". it's really true that sometimes you think about something real hard but you can't tell what the thoughts are exactly. it's revolutionary stuff, i might even say

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i figured it out