vampire-club

[vampire-club]

Heroes | November 8th, 1983

steve harrington x oc

(this entry contains: pining, yearning, slow burn, teen angst, unrequited love, childhood best friends, best friends, friends with benefits, sex, drugs, rock-n-roll, smoking, drinking, david bowie, vampires, potentially erotic soccer playing, dungeons, dragons, and the incurable desire to be known)

word count: 2.5k

series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

from the diary of Sara Henderson: writer, actor, biter, striker, team player, good with kids

dedicated to her brother, Dustin, and her best friend, Steve. may they never, ever read this!

that’s where you’ll find me

November 8th, 1983

I didn't feel conscious until we ran into Nancy in the hallway. Tragically, where Steve goes, Tommy and Carol will follow. People who live in glass houses or whatever, I know. But at least Steve actually likes me. Maybe I’m just projecting but I don’t think he likes hanging out with them much. I don’t. Not really. 

Steve snatches the flashcards from Barb’s hands, bringing me back to reality.

“I don’t know, I think you’ve studied enough, Nance.” That’s what they were doing last night. Studying. It took two hours for him to fully convince me that’s all that happened. He must really like her if he’s really this thrilled about not having sex.

“Steve-” Nancy starts.

“I’m telling you, you know, you got this. Don’t worry. Now, onto more important matters. My dad has left town on a conference and my mom’s gone with him cause, you know, she doesn’t trust him.” Steve explains.

“Good call.” Tommy says.

“I wouldn’t either.” I add.

“So are you in?” Mr. and Mrs. Harrington are noted for being out of town often. Steve and I were usually the ones in charge of watching over the house. One of the many mistakes his parents have made. We would abide by their rules. No friends and no parties. That’s it. How stupid could they be? Or it could be asked: How stupid am I? Having the house to just the two of us used to mean something. Not anymore. Obviously. Am I bitter? Obviously. Still, a party is a party. An excuse for me to drink in the middle of the week instead of being alone drinking in the middle of the week.

“In for what?” Nancy asked.

“No parents? Big house?” Carol tries to drive the point further. 

“A party?” Nancy realizes. 

“Ding, ding, ding!” Carol says. Tommys laugh covers my own. I hope Nancy didn’t notice. Mostly for my sake considering it wasn’t funny.

“It’s Tuesday.” Nancy says.

“It’s Tuesday! Oh my god!” Tommy mocks.

“Come on. It’ll be low key. It’ll just be us. What do you say? Are you in or are you out?” Steve says and Nancy looks at me. Me? Don’t look at me like I make good decisions.

“Um…” She hesitates. There are two outcomes. She comes and I have to deal with Steve being a lovesick fool or she doesn’t come and I have to deal with Steve being a lovesick fool AND deal with Tommy and Carol on my own. At least if she’s there I have someone else to fall back on.

“Oh god. Look” Carol diverts all of our attention. Jonathan.

“Oh, god, that’s depressing” Steve says as we watch Jonathan hang up a poster.

“Should we say something?” Nancy asks.

“I don’t think that would help much.” I say. 

“How much you want to bet he killed him?” I’m not sure if Tommy is attempting a joke or if he’s serious. Regardless, I scoff.

“Shut up.” Steve says.

And then, Nancy walks over to him. We can’t hear any of what they are saying. Seems like Nancy is doing most of the talking. His face doesn’t change at all really. I can’t imagine. I mean, I’d be a mess if I were him. If I couldn’t find Dustin? God… They look over at us. What a sight we must be. I offer him a small smile. The bell rings and Jonathan leaves quickly as everyone else starts to head to class.

“I’ll see you later.” Steve taps my back as he walks off. “And I’m sure you won’t be empty handed.” He smirks.

“Of course not.” I say shortly. I give him the same small smile I gave Jonathan. Then he’s gone. Empty handed. That’s one of our many deals. He provides an empty house, so I bring the… party favors.

There’s an announcement over the intercom but I inadvertently tune it out. I’m left standing there alone, looking towards where Jonathan just stood. And for the first time, I wonder if this is my fault. I offered to take him home. I should have taken him home. It was late. I was supposed to take Dustin home too. If I had taken Will, would everything be okay? 

Before he left this morning, Dustin passed along a message to me. The Wheelers, namely, Karen, invited Dustin and I over for dinner tonight. Something about how it’s better to be together with all of this happening. I’m not one to turn down dinner. That just means that I don’t have to cook. And I know where my brother will be when I leave for Steve’s house afterwards. He heads straight to their house after school but I make a quick pit stop at our house on my way. Men are simple. When one asks you for a favor, there’s always another that will do it for you. With one call, I have two 12-packs of beer waiting in my garage when I get home. He even threw in some weed for good measure. A little something for me to get through dinner and a little something else to get me through a party. Simple.

Dinner is less awkward than expected. Politely, I just sit there and take bites of the meatloaf. Eight of us fill the table. I sit across from Nancy and next to Karen. Though I’m respectful and typically call her Mrs. Wheeler, she insists I call her Karen. The pedestal I get to be on since I’m almost motherly. How thrilling my life is. At least, this version of my life. Chaperoning my brother to his friend's house, having banter with mothers. At least I’m not in charge tonight. 

It’s quiet, which is not normal for this group of boys. I don’t have the ability to focus until I hear Nancy speak up. 

“So there’s this… special assembly thing tonight for Will at the school field. Barb’s driving. Sara’s going, too.” Karen turns to me right as I take a bite. I try to chew and smile at the same time. Idiot. She turns to Nancy. I turn to Karen

“Why am I just hearing about this?” I turn to Nancy.

“I thought you knew.” I turn to Karen.

“I told you. I don’t want you out after dark until Will is found.” It’s like watching tennis.

“Since we’re going together it's like…safety in numbers” I chime in, trying to help Nancy out. I don’t know how much she likes me. It seems that with Steve’s plans, we’re gonna be spending a lot more time together so I better start trying to win some credibility with her. We are two incredibly different people, but let’s hope that, in some ways, opposites do attract.

“And it’d be weird if I’m not there. I mean, everyone’s going.” Nancy says. I nod.

“Just… be back by 10:00.” She gave in. Win. “Why don’t you take the boys, too” Absolutely not.

A cacophony of “No” “Nope” and “Nuh uh” erupts at the table.

“Car’s… too small” I throw out softly and immediately hope no one hears me.

“Don’t you think you should be there? For Will?” She asks.

Suddenly, Mike coughs into his milk. What’s his problem? Then Dustin slams his fists on the table. What the hell?

“Dustin!” I refrain from yelling but I shoot daggers at him.

“Sorry. Spasm.” He apologizes. I turn and give Karen a reassuring smile. Mike is now covered in milk and his little sister Holly seems to be frightened by Dustin. Dinner pretty much wrapped up there. Instinctively, I help Karen clear the table. Who am I? Soon enough, I’m bidding everyone a goodnight and head out the door.

I know when to go out

I pull right into Steve’s driveway. As soon as I’m parked, I change out of my nice, mother approved, dinner clothes before grabbing my stuff. My home away from home. Only moments after I ring the doorbell does Steve open the door. Seems like he was anxiously waiting for someone. By the look on his face, it isn’t me.

“What? Not happy to see me?” I pout.

“I’m thrilled.” He looks right at the beer.

“Funny.” I say dryly. “I may not be Nancy, but I’ve got the next best thing.” I push one of the boxes into his arms and move past him into the house.

“Yeah, your winning personality.” I scoff as he closes the door behind us. “Seems you left your sense of humor at home though, babe.”

“Good thing I keep a spare on me.” I grab a joint from my bag. “And there’s enough for two.”

“I knew I could count on you.” 

I know when to stay in

I get through two drinks before Nancy and Barb show up. As they walk out towards us, Carol leans over to me. I reach for my third.

“Don’t get jealous.” She teases. So, that is exactly how the rest of the night is going to be. Great.

When I see Nancy, I notice she had the same idea to change. Maybe we’re not as different as I imagined.

“Glad you could make it.” I say as Nancy claims the chair across from me.

“Yeah. Thanks for helping me convince my mom.” She says.

“I am a natural liar.” I smile because it’s true. I hope that didn’t come across as bitchy. Did I mean for it to be bitchy? I could have been way more of a bitch. But why would I do that? She hasn’t done anything wrong. I am a bitch, but I don’t want to be one to her. What’s that about?

“Here ya go, babe.” Steve hands me a flask. Just what I’ve been needing. Wait. I hope Nancy doesn’t misinterpret that. The fact that he called me babe. That’s just what he calls me. He’s done that for a long time. She’s talking to Barb so maybe she didn’t even hear it. Why does it feel like I’m walking on eggshells? What is my problem? 

Looking through the trees, I can see the treehouse Steve and I made together. It’s astonishing that it’s withstood this many years. The leaves sway gently and my shirt moves with the wind. I feel the breeze on my stomach. It’s a nice enough night. It’s equally nice to not be worried about Dustin. I thought after last night I’d be on my guard even more. With Will still missing, I should be. But I’m not. Selfishly, I’m more worried about myself. 

Completely unprompted, Steve grabs a beer and shotguns it in no time before pulling the cigarette from behind his ear. He would make an excellent court jester. And, I guess, I’d be right there next to him.

“Is that supposed to impress me?” Nancy asks.

“You’re not?” He mumbles with the cigarette in his mouth, lighting it. I roll my eyes and cough out a small laugh after taking a drag from my own cigarette.

“Uh oh. That didn’t seem to do it for your girlfriend.” Carol says.

“Oh- I’m not-” Nancy stutters. Man, I can’t possibly imagine this ending poorly.

“I don’t think she was talking about you.” Tommy chimes in, gesturing to me. Everyone's heads turn in my direction. Here we go. Fuck. Me.

“I didn’t know you guys were-” Nancy starts.

“Oh, don’t worry Nancy. They’re not together. Anymore.” Carol says smiling. I turn my head slowly to look at her and she winks at me. This seems to be the funniest thing for her and Tommy. He’s trying so hard not to laugh as I turn back to look at Nancy and Steve. I look at him first, hoping he’ll say something. No dice. Really helpful, Steve. If she liked me before, she definitely doesn’t now. Looking at Nancy, I try to spit out a sentence to calm all of this down.

“I wouldn’t say we were ever together, it's just… It’s nothing. Really.” Eloquent. But it’s the best I’ve got right now with everything that is hitting my brain. It’s the truth. But I just proudly proclaimed that I’m a liar so I wouldn’t believe me either.

“She’s right Nance. It was nothing.” Ouch. “These two just like to start shit.” Steve reassures her. I could use some reassurance right about now, too.

“What would you guys call it then?” I could cry. Right here. I could fall to the ground and drown in a puddle of my own tears. But that’s a little dramatic.

“Carol! Seriously, cut it out.” Steve all but yells at her. I take another drag from my cigarette before standing. 

“I’m gonna get something else to drink. Steve, do you still have the-” I look over at him and Nancy. If looks could kill, Nancy Wheeler would have just sent me to an early grave. Why did I have to keep talking? I turn and walk into the house without another word. I walk straight into the kitchen and grab a glass of water. In true Carol fashion, she just had to ruin the night for everyone. Or maybe just for me. Looking out the window it doesn’t look like I am terribly missed. Barb is still sitting alone and the rest of them look how they did before I left. Business as usual. 

It was nothing.

After only a few minutes, Barb walks in, her hand bloody.

“Shit, do you need help? Are you ok?” I ask.

“Yeah, I just need the bathroom.” She says.

“Down that way.” I point down the hall.

“Thanks.” She rushes off. What is happening out there? As I look out the window again, I see that the rest of them have ended up in the pool. I think that’s my cue to call it a night. I’m not stupid enough to drive right now considering the state I’m in. I’ll just sleep it off for a bit, get home before the sun rises. But when my back hits the couch, the last thing I can imagine doing is sleeping. My thoughts keep me awake. All I do is worry about Dustin. I think through all of the possible outcomes of his life. I used to do the same for myself. Planning for anything and everything. This wasn’t exactly something that I thought of, though. Lying on Steve’s couch, sad, drunk, and pathetic. Something like that.

Unsure. That’s the word. I am unsure. A feeling I’m surprisingly unfamiliar with. I pride myself on knowing a lot, and being confident in what I know. But at this current moment, I can’t help but feel the opposite. It’s him. Steve is the only person who can make me feel unsure of myself. The idea of that is almost… comforting. At least it’s in his hands. I wouldn’t trust anyone else with that amount of power over me.

but you never told me ‘bout the fire

[vampire-club]

Heroes | November 7th, 1983

steve harrington x oc

(this entry contains: pining, yearning, slow burn, teen angst, unrequited love, childhood best friends, best friends, friends with benefits, sex, drugs, rock-n-roll, smoking, drinking, david bowie, vampires, potentially erotic soccer playing, dungeons, dragons, and the incurable desire to be known)

word count: 2.1k

series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

from the diary of Sara Henderson: writer, actor, biter, striker, team player, good with kids

dedicated to her brother, Dustin, and her best friend, Steve. may they never, ever read this!

i might be in the library… 

November 7th, 1983

I can’t discern the sound that wakes me up. Realizing it’s a symphony of both my alarm and the phone, I hit the clock and drag myself to my desk. Mom is at work so I play receptionist in the mornings. I clear my voice before answering the phone. 

“Hel-” I am immediately cut off.

“Sara?” Joyce. My mind immediately runs away from me. It’s not unusual for her to call, but being almost frantic first thing in the morning? 

“Y-yeah?” Is all I can manage as I snap into the day. Her words are on top of mine.

“Did Will stay over last night?” Will doesn’t stay over here. I mean, he has before but it’s not exactly something that would happen on a whim.

“Oh, no. He rode his bike home from the Wheeler's. I saw him… he was with Dustin. He went right past our house…” Right?

“And you haven’t seen him?” She’s seemingly trying to keep herself together. 

“No. Didn’t he make it home last night?”

“I’m sure he just left before I saw him this morning.” This isn’t normal. I can tell she’s scared. I’d be worried, too. I’m like her in that way. Seems I have more in common with 40 year old mothers every day. Bummer.

“Ok, I’ll-”

“Thank you, Sara. Bye.” The line disconnected before I could say anything else. Huh. Business as usual? I put the phone back and haul myself to Dustin’s door. 

“Morning!” I knock loud enough to wake him and wait for a response. A loud groan tells me all I need to know. He’s awake and he’ll join the rest of the world shortly. 

What’s going on with Will? I don’t want to tell Dustin yet. It could be nothing so there’s no reason to worry him, right? For now, I’ll pretend everything is normal. Nothing I haven’t already been doing so what else is new?

Just go through the motions as usual. Make breakfast, get ready, make sure Dustin leaves for school on time.

I grab some bowls of cereal, put them on the table and- no milk. Shit. Just add it to the list and I’ll grab it later. Change of plans. I grab two muffins and throw some bacon on the stove. Be right back. Get dressed quickly and of course all my sweaters are dirty. I guess I’ll do laundry when I get home. Short sleeves. Just throw a jacket over and it’ll be fine. Bra, boots, bag, blush, books… bacon. I throw everything into my backpack and run back into the kitchen. Almost burnt. Good enough timing. 

“Come on, Dustin. Breakfast.” I call, pouring him a glass of juice and putting on a pot of coffee. By the time I set the table and take a moment to sit, I hear his door open, then close. He clumps to the kitchen and drops his things.

“Good morning.” He says, clearly still tired.

“Good morning. Did you get your homework done?” He nods as he bites into his muffin. There has to be something for us to talk about.

“I have some time this week to write a campaign for you guys.” No I don’t. “You could play it this weekend.”

“That could be cool. We just have to finish our other campaign first.” 

“Then I’ll have it for you next weekend.”

“Awesome.” He smiles 

That worked. Kinda how it used to be. Dustin and I actually have a lot in common. I’m not sure if that is more embarrassing for me or for him. We both finished our food quickly since it wasn’t much and we were on our way out. I hand him his hat and pour some coffee to go. Plenty of cream and lots of sugar. 

“Be safe.” I tell him as he gets on his bike.

“I know.” He says. “See you later.” 

“Later.” I wave as he rides off. Following his lead, I get in my car and make my way to school.

Sweetly reminiscent,

Something mother used to bake

Hawkins High has an unspoken rule about parking spots. They’re not assigned but they might as well be. My spot is the fifth down the second aisle, facing north. Steve parks on my left, the sixth spot. 99% of the time, I beat Steve to school. The 1% is the days I don’t show up. I leave a little note on his windshield every morning. Mostly meaningless, they are usually just lyrics or Shakespeare or drawings. 

“Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.”

I’ll explain it to him eventually. I won’t see him until class, but somehow I feel his lingering presence as I pass Nancy in the hall. She’s a little preoccupied reading some note so neither of us really acknowledge the other. She’s not quite my friend but we’re more than acquaintances. I don’t know what to call that. Well now she’s like my friend's almost girlfriend? Whatever, just keep walking to class.

I save a seat for Steve. I want to sit closer to the front, he wants to sit in the back. We sit in the middle. He walks in right before the bell in a manner that I would call oddly peppy. 

“She’s got you good, Romeo.” I whisper.

“And I’m gonna see her again tonight.” Almost jumping for joy in and out of his seat.

“You are a real winner.” I grab the notes from my bag and hand them to him. “Don’t let me down now that you have other prospects.”

“Have I ever?” Hand over heart, he looks at me. 

thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade

Hours pass by. I think about Will and my brother. It somehow makes the day go by faster. Soon, I’m walking back to my car with Steve. 

“I’ll let you know how it goes.” Please don’t.

“Oh good. Disgusting amounts of detail please.” I will throw up if you say anything weird.

“Yeah you wish.” He opens my door and nudges me into the seat. I should run him over.

“Gross. I’ll talk to you later. Don’t forget-” He cuts me off as I start the car.

“The notes. I’ve got it. Bye” He closes my door. Rolling my eyes, I wave to him and drive away. Off to my destined duties and to not think about him swapping spit with Nancy. 

By the time I’m home from the store, the sun is just about to set. Dustin is home, sitting at the kitchen table as I walk in. Usually he would be at Mike’s.

“Hey Dust, I didn’t think you’d be here. How was school?”

“The same as it always is I guess. Except for the part where the cops told us that Will is missing.” So it’s real and it’s only getting realer. He won’t be happy if he finds out I knew something was wrong.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know, I guess he didn’t get home last night. We answered their questions but we should be out there helping.” Absolutely not. There is a line when it comes to me getting into trouble and this would probably be crossing it. I especially need to keep Dustin out of it. I take a deep breath.

“Look, I am sorry that they can’t find Will but there isn’t much that we can do. If the police are looking for him then let’s not interfere. You’ve already helped by telling them what you know.”

“I was gonna go to Mike’s and…” Here we go.

“You know I can’t let you. Not until we know-”

“Please, Sara.” I kneel down next to him, really needing him to hear me.

“I have to keep you safe, especially now. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” He goes to his room without another word. I don’t try to stop him. At least he’s not in danger there. I’ll just try again later. 

Unpack groceries, start laundry, make dinner. Go team! Except that the team is me, myself, and I.

Dinner is quick. Just some spaghetti for tonight. I don’t have the time or the desire to make anything else. Dustin says he’s not hungry. I’ll try again a little later.

Not too much homework tonight. It’s mostly Latin, which is probably the most cerebral class I’m taking. Steve thinks it’s funny, but I’m not the one struggling in Spanish. Mom gets home, thanks me for the groceries, and goes to bed by the time I’m done. I check the clock and it’s already 9. Time to try appealing to Dustin one last time. I know that he’s worried, I am too. We really are similar, which is why I know what will work on him. I go to his bedroom door and knock.

“I got ice cream at the store if you want some.” Nothing.

“Dessert for dinner. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity you’re missing out on.” Still nothing. “Dustin!” I knock again. “Dustin?” Against my better judgment, I decide to open the door.

He’s not there.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Immediately I looked for his bike. Easiest way to know if he’s home. Nowhere to be found. Now, unlike last night, I shoot out of the house and am flying through the neighborhood. I go straight to the Wheeler’s, getting there in record, and law, breaking time. It’s really raining. I loathe driving in the rain. Almost there and I see Steve’s car parked a block away. Subtle. 

As I approach the house, I notice the idiot in question trying to climb out of a window. Steve notices my car pull up. I don’t even turn the car off before getting out. I won’t be here long. He walks through the yard in a way that only he would describe as sneaky. Lucas scrambles out of the house right after. I nod him off, signaling him to get home. 

“Be safe.” I warn. He nods before taking off on his bike. Dustin comes out right after, first in a hurry, but almost freezes when he sees me. Slowly making his way towards me, but Steve beats him.

“What are you doing here?” Steve asks. I simply point at Dustin.

“Uh oh. Someone’s in trouble.” Steve says as he starts to walk towards his car.

“You’re not setting a very good example.” I joke. 

“Neither are you.” He shrugs, slipping me a pack of cigarettes he must have swiped from me earlier.  

“See you later” And he’s off. Just in time for Dustin to take his place.

“What do I always tell you? Don’t do anything stupid, don’t do anything dangerous, and don’t be like him.” I gesture to Steve and turn to open my trunk for his bike.

“Are you mad?” I really want to be.

“I’m just glad you’re safe.” I take his bike. “Get in.” And he does.

This is the first night we drive home without music. 

He seems pretty shaken up and I can’t tell if it’s because he got caught or if it’s something else. What happened tonight, and where is Will?  It’s not quiet for long.

“You’re not in trouble.” Let’s get that out of the way.

“Are you gonna tell mom?” And get us both in trouble?

“I won’t. Unless you want me to.” Clearly a joke. That is the last thing either of us want. He laughs a little.

“Good idea.” He says and I grin.

“But I will tell you that what you did tonight was a new level of stupid. You completely ignored everything I’ve told you.”

“I know… what do you mean by ‘don't be like Steve?’” I’ll tell you when you’re older or whatever parents say.

“Just that… he does stupid things and you, Dustin, are not stupid. So I don’t want you acting like it.” Stellar big sister advice if I do say so myself.

“Do you think Steve is a douchebag?” Yes.

“Yes.” Honesty. Without hesitation. 

“So why are you friends with him?” Well. What do I say to that? Because he’s Steve. That’s it. There’s not a way to explain it that would make sense. The closest I’ve got is because I think that I’m a douchebag too so it’s a birds of a feather thing. But I won’t say that to Dustin. Instead…

“He’s a good guy, I think.” A little rough.

“You think?”

“‘I think’ as in that’s what I believe. I believe that he is a good guy. That is why I’m friends with him. I always thought you liked Steve.”

“I don’t know, you just seem mad at him.” Not far off but just another thing I can’t explain.

“I’m not. It doesn’t matter.” Deflect. “What you did was stupid regardless of Steve. What were you guys even doing?”

“Nothing.” He snaps and the car is quiet again.

“You don’t have to tell me, but if you want to, you know?” 

“Yeah, I know. No secrets.” He says. 

“No secrets.” I say.

And it’s clear that neither of us mean it. 

said you’d give me light

[vampire-club]

Heroes

steve harrington x original character

though nothing will keep us together

we could steal time, just for one day

from the diary of Sara Henderson: writer, actor, biter, striker, team player, good with kids

dedicated to her brother, Dustin, and her best friend, Steve. may they never, ever read this!

entries

(contains: pining, yearning, slow burn, teen angst, unrequited love, childhood best friends, best friends, friends with benefits, sex, drugs, rock-n-roll, smoking, drinking, david bowie, vampires, potentially erotic soccer playing, dungeons, dragons, and the incurable desire to be known)

november 6th, 1983

november 7th, 1983

november 8th, 1983

november 9th, 1983

november 10th, 1983

[vampire-club]

Heroes | November 6th, 1983

steve harrington x oc

(this entry contains: pining, yearning, slow burn, teen angst, unrequited love, childhood best friends, best friends, friends with benefits, sex, drugs, rock-n-roll, smoking, drinking, david bowie, vampires, potentially erotic soccer playing, dungeons, dragons, and the incurable desire to be known)

word count: 1.3k

series masterlist | next chapter

from the diary of Sara Henderson: writer, actor, biter, striker, team player, good with kids

dedicated to her brother, Dustin, and her best friend, Steve. may they never, ever read this!

if you have made it this far, why not go the extra mile and return this diary to sara henderson? 

November 6th, 1983

Crying wolf has become second nature to me. People are inclined to believe you when you’re confident enough in what you say. Soon enough, you’ll start to believe it yourself. Most of my life revolves around playing pretend. That’s how I have to live for now. Look at me… False alarm.

Halloween was a week ago but I feel like I’ve been hit by an aftershock. No amount of aspirin is soothing the pounding in my head. It makes the 20 steps from the front door to my car feel like a mile. Can you be hungover for a week? I’m probably just devastatingly tired. Maybe I should find time in my schedule for a moment to breathe. Do I have enough time between my cigarette at lunch and study hall? 

Tonight, I drive slower and play music quieter than usual through the neighborhood, attempting to get the most out of my alone time. It’s a short drive, only time for one song each way. I pick on the way there, Dustin decides on the way back. Unfortunately for him, I’ve rigged this system by only bringing one tape in the car. So for now, Modern Love is on as loud as I can handle. I’ve been replaying this tape since I got it as a very belated birthday gift. I’m sure Dustin is getting tired of it. He doesn’t like Bowie as much as I do. He says no one does. That’s why Steve got me the cassette. As long as he has known me, he has known David Bowie. It used to be that I was forcing it onto him, but he’s come to enjoy it. Well… when he’s not too busy. 

I could probably do this drive blindfolded and with my hands tied behind my back. The Wheeler’s don’t live far from us. If Dustin isn’t at home or school, he’s in that basement with his friends. I’ve been there a million times. Mom insists that if it’s too late, I have to pick Dustin up. I don’t mind it, but her overprotection of him has been cast onto me. 

When I pull up to the house, the sprinklers are on in the front yard, splashing my car. The boys are heading into the garage as I park at the bottom of the driveway. They’re talking loud enough for me to hear as I roll down my window.

“There’s something wrong with your sister” Dustin proclaims as blunt as ever. Have I influenced him enough yet?

“What are you talking about?” Mike responds. 

“She’s got a stick up her butt” I’m not sure if they haven’t noticed me or if they just don’t care. They're in their own world as usual.

“Yeah. It’s because she’s been dating that douchebag Steve Harrington.” Lucas chimes in. I can’t help but laugh. He’s not wrong, but what does he know about Steve?

“Yep, she’s turning into a real jerk.” Dustin says before Mike cuts in. 

“She’s always been a real jerk. You know, your sister is actually cool.” They turn to me. They did notice.

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” He jokes as I get out of the car. 

“Ouch, Dustin.” I feign offense and the boys laugh. 

They all hop on their bikes, ready to head home. 

“Goodnight.” I wave to them as I open my trunk for Dustin’s bike as he heads down to the car.

“I’m actually gonna ride home. I wanna race Will there. Winner gets a comic.” He turns to his friend.

“Any comic?” Will's eyes lit up at Dustin's offer.

“Don’t make me the bad guy.” I’m only half joking.

“Sorry.” He shrugs.

“It’s late and it’s freezing. I’ll drive Will home too.” Will turns to Dustin at my offer, seemingly indifferent. He’s always been one to follow his friends' lead. Not in a bad way, it’s endearing.

“Now that my honor and a comic are on the line? No way.” He protests and, hesitantly, I oblige.

“Fine. Just don’t complain when you get home.” I get back into the car. “And don’t tell mom that I let you do this.” 

“Yeah, alright.” The two start to ride off.

“See you soon. Goodnight, Will.” I wave to them as they speed off. Will gives a small wave before taking off far past Dustin. Oh well, this just means another moment alone. The garage lights flicker as I start to drive off. My music starts to crackle before resuming as normal.

I hear her heart beating, loud as thunder

Saw the stars crashing

I only see Dustin and Will again once they reach the house. Will continues on after defeating Dustin. 

“What’d you lose?” I ask as I open the garage.

“My X-Men 134” There’s a defeated tone to his voice.

“Bummer.” I softly nudged him into the house. I head straight to the kitchen. 

 “Did you eat?” He nods. I offer him a bucket of popcorn.

“Well I brought this from work if you want any” 

“Thanks.” He dips into the bucket and takes a handful. We’ve been quieter with each other lately. No fault on either of our parts. I just think there are things we want to keep to ourselves now. I grab a Coke from the fridge and cut the almost awkward silence.

“I was thinking about watching a movie, if you’re interested.”

He thinks for a moment, genuinely. “I would… but I have homework.” 

“Excellent point my dear scholar. You’d better get to it.” I respond, nudging him.

“One night this week for sure.” He promises, I nod.

“Maybe even at the theater. Employee perks.” 

“Roger that.” With that, he disappears into this room. 

Another event for my never ending schedule. Movies with Dustin. Probably after practice, but before I call Steve, hoping he answers. And wouldn’t you know it, it’s that time now. I lock up the house and turn the lights out. The phone that sits on my desk waits for my inevitable return to dial my most frequently called number. It’s like the flip of a coin if he will answer or not. Heads: he answers. Tails: he’s making out with Nancy Wheeler. The line rings, once… twice…

“Hello.” Heads!

“Second ring? You must have been waiting for someone to call.” I tease.

“I wasn’t. I was just near the phone.”

“Mhm. Well we have that History project this week. I’ll give you a copy of my notes tomorrow.” He groans. Not exactly the academic type like myself or Dustin.

“You just have to look them over, maybe make some revisions, give me some input.”

“Yeah, fine. I got it.” 

“Good… You were totally waiting for Nancy to call.” I laugh.

“Shut up.”

“You’re welcome by the way. Couldn’t have done it without me. My charm. My connections.”

“Connections? Yeah, your brother being friends with her brother isn’t exactly impressive.”

 “You are impossible.” 

“Well look where I learned it.”

“Then I guess I am a damn good teacher.” He laughs. Finally, I haven’t heard him laugh much recently. This is the most fruitful conversation in weeks, and that isn’t saying much. I make fun of him, he makes fun of me. We know we’re joking and life goes on. Whatever keeps it from being awkward. I’m only occasionally known for my ego, but I think he needs me. Neither of us will ever admit it, but we rely on each other. 

“Alright, Striker. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“You never know.”

“Goodnight.” He insists.

“Goodnight, Steve.” Setting down the phone, I always make sure to be the one to hang up. Some sort of habit or instinct I guess. 

Striker

I guess if I said I’d have the notes tomorrow, I should finish the notes. Light a candle, put on some music, and write.

wait a minute, baby

stay with me awhile