vampirefaun

[vampirefaun]

jkasjdkasjksajfdasfdsafd goodbye

[vampirefaun]

my toddler is 3 years old and wont eat anything other than fine porterhouse steaks and sweet port wine

[vampirefaun]

this is actually like my third or fourth rodeo so i sort of get it but sort of dont

[vampirefaun]

Some time ago (I think in 2021) I had to go see a neurologist over really scary symptoms that resembled seizures. I was a nervous wreck about what I was feeling and had barely slept all week, which seemed to be apparent to the doc’s assistant when I sat down in the exam room for questioning or whatever. Dude was pretty young and soft spoken, around my age. He was laser focused doing something on one of those tablet-laptop Surface things as I spoke, presumably writing down my symptoms.

Midway through talking about my symptoms my voice audibly started shaking as I was describing them, clearly upset.

In the middle of my monologue he turns the tablet to face me, closes whatever program he has open and the wallpaper is this fucking collage of pictures of lord farquaad from shrek, lovingly decorated. Dude just sat there placidly smiling at me until I noticed and stopped dead in the middle of a sentence. We sat there in silence like this for like a solid minute before I started wheezing laughing. Before I could even say anything else or process it he picked up the tablet and wordlessly left the room, and I just sat there dumbfounded until the doctor showed up. 10/10 doctor experience tbh

I didn’t own a cell phone at the time to get a photo so this rendition from memory is all I can provide you

[vampirefaun]

abandoned xie lian statue

[vampirefaun]

if you are ever in Moldova let me know and maybe we will shag

you guys seeing this? i got hoes in moldova

[vampirefaun]

the self-indulgent fanfiction will continue until morale improves

[vampirefaun]

Devastated that rbs were turned off. I need this on my blog.

[vampirefaun]

Arugula is some crap they found on the ground for real

[vampirefaun]

"the early 2010s were better" no they weren't. "hey soul sister" was on the radio.

[vampirefaun]

girls, did you know

that uhm,

if you know your party’s extension

you can dial it at any time

[vampirefaun]

🕯️Welcome To Amaranth Moor🕯️

Frontispiece illustration for volume 1 of Faun Hartley's (@amaranthmoor) M/M vampire novel set in the Regency/Georgian period and which you can now read!

[vampirefaun]

me.

[vampirefaun]

[vampirefaun]

American Girls! ★

I drew 10 of the original historical American Girls in my style! This was a fun little fan art series in between my other illustrations 🤭

In order: Felicity and Josefina, Kirsten and Kaya, Molly and Kit, Addy and Samantha, Julie and Rebecca.

[vampirefaun]

The Nutcracker 🩰🎄❄️

My recent Nutcracker illustrations and costume designs!

Prints available in my shop!