vampveli - Tumblr blog

[vampveli]

Hello my friends. 🇵🇸

I'm Bilal, living in Egypt after being displaced from Gaza. 🍉

The situation here is not easy, we live without an official residence. 💔🇵🇸

Prices are high and things are getting harder. 😔🍉

But amidst all these challenges, I am very close to achieving my short-term goal. 🌟

The goal is to reach 6000, and there are less than 100 steps left! 💪🎯

This goal carries hope, especially in these difficult circumstances. ✨🍉

I know that I will achieve this achievement very soon. 🙌🇵🇸

Every day is a step forward, and there is always hope. 🍉

https://gofund.me/ba5b76e9

[vampveli]

I want more adventures for them.

[vampveli]

Please don't skip 🙂‍↕️ and share my story Hello, I am Lana, a 20-year-old university student from Gaza🇵🇸🍉. I had just finished high school before the war; it was my last joy. I entered the engineering college, hopeful for the future, but harsh circumstances prevented me from pursuing my dream, as my home was bombed by the occupation. Now I live in a tent, struggling to light a fire, with no food, no air, no home, and no comfort. My life has become extremely difficult; the tent is very hot, and in winter, rain falls through the holes. I have lost a lot of weight due to food shortages and widespread illnesses. I used to have a beautiful bed, but now we sleep on the ground. There are no basic necessities for life. Please help me, even a little, so I can continue my university studies and save my family. Our home, source of income, and everything were destroyed. The children, who once enjoyed their beautiful childhood, are now busy fetching water from distant places and trying to get some food from generous people. Please donate, even a little

@medicasino @ana-bananya @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness

@90-ghost @gaza @sar-soor @palestina

[vampveli]

Poljubac

[vampveli]

A Kite You Should Never Let Go 🪁

[vampveli]

Means of transportation in Gaza💔

We are suffering a lot 😭🙏🏻🍉😭

You can support my campaign by donating whatever you can or by sharing my posts to reach others who can help us survive the war to safety and peace. You are helping the lives . Every donation makes a difference in our very difficult lives.

🍉🍉🇵🇸🇵🇸

[vampveli]

A Study on Mesmer Jr.

(Also Known As: Nott is obsessed with the bigot autistic girl from the time travel gacha game and its her birthday tommorow so lets talk about her.)

(CWs: Ableism, racism, child abuse) I Love Mesmer Jr. Which isn't a secret to any of my friends who have had to listen to me talk about her at length. I cannot get her out of my head. I think she's fantastically written, fun to read about, and just an all around interesting character.

As such, I want to take a moment to pull apart Mesmer Jr, and consider her place in this story. To contemplate why she acts the way she does, and to connect to the themes relating to her character. I hope you enjoy reading this.

A Curious Impression

Mesmer Jr makes an interesting impression when you first meet her. For one, she immediately causes alarm bells to rings when she talks to Sonneto, one of her earliest conversations, who she says she enjoys talking to because of their "shared values" she feels the need to say that she would have liked talking to her more if she were a "full-blooded human."

Which is something that you see a lot whenever she's complimenting an arcanist, or considering arcanists in any positive light. Even if it's inappropriate in the context, she feels the need to assert her beliefs, to say that:

Mesmer Jr, Praise: As an arcanist, your performance really amazes me. Wish you were a pure-blood human.

Of course, as we know, Mesmer Jr is an arcanist. She's a full-blooded arcanist. Being noted to be from a very Important family, and even being implied to be more talented than most of her family in their line of work: (The Fallacy of Idealism)

Nobody is more talented in this than Mesmer Jr. Her bloodline gives her outstanding ability and keen senses, which makes everything clear and intelligible to her.

She's also startlingly obedient. She has no noticeable outward negativity towards what Constantine has ordered her to do to Vertin, despite it seeming to cause pain or stress. Insisting that this is the normal treatment given to patients despite Madam Z's opinion, and we learn Much Later that her boss had an ulterior motive to all this.

She's even noted before we meet her to seem like a:

(Open Sandwich)

???: It is the other one- the one with indifferent outlines that makes her look like a refined machine.

Evoking images of perfectly programmed robots and droids that do what they are ordered to perfectly without question.

Of course, in the same part this line is from, the game is already nudging us to be open-minded when it comes to interacting with her. As the first thing we learn about her isn't her personality, isn't her appearance, isn't even her Voice.

It's her abuse.

Dirtied Hands

Open Sandwich is one of my favorite bits of writing in this game. It creates this incredible tension where you just waiting for the bad thing to happen, the line about how the child labor laws were turned into paper to wrap the sandwich is wonderful, and I love it.

But it's also the first time we ever actually hear about her. It depicts her having a Sensory Meltdown. Caused by her family's uh- blatant disregard for children's rights, and exposing her to a patient at age 12 because her skill was useful for the treatment. The trauma of the event marking the start of her "nightmare."

Of course this isn't the Only Thing she has gone through at the age of 12. The entire events of Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien happened during when she was 12. She might of had even more traumatic experience before that, considering she went to SPDM, a school that we know Very Well for their child abuse, and she Certainly had traumatic experiences afterwards.

She Is a 16 year old therapist taking care of The Foundation's most "unstable" patients, after all:

Mesmer Jr, Suitcase Climate: Those insane people screamed and rushed out of the guardroom. They kept meaninglessly and repeatedly roaring. Then, their blood shed on the snowy ground. I've seen that a lot.

The Rights of Children Don't Matter when there is Scarcity. Her needs are secondary to The Company's. Her welfare simply isn't important for the Foundation's Beautiful Future. Only the skills and infromation she can provide.

Constantine even manipulated Mesmer Jr into telling her the plan. Purposefully traumatizing her so that she would become scared and anxious. She Asked her to help them, trusting that Constantine, an adult she trusted, would be able to help. Constantine just lied, and made her continue to treat these people even when the experience mind numbingly traumatic for even fully-grown adults.

As a result, Mesmer Jr has developed multiple mental illnesses. Most notable OCD, but she seems to hallucinate in her Monologue.

She's not exactly a healthy person, which really compounds how much you Don't want her to be a therapist.

Of course, it's not like she would ever seek actual proper treatment for it.

For many reasons.

For one, Reverse 1999 is not exactly a kind world to the mentally ill, and she herself is a good example as to why.

Proper Treatment

Let's go back to the first thing I mentioned about Mesmer Jr. She's a bigot, she's a certified racist to every arcanist she ever talks to. She thinks humans are the superior race that will overtake arcanists.

She's also ableist. Just horrible ableist. These two bigotries are intertwined in Very important ways. Her hatred of arcanists is informed by her hatred of the mentally ill, and is further informed by what she has been taught about arcanists.

Reverse has established that the way arcanists and humans are generally viewed is that arcanists are the more emotional, unstable, immature ones and humans are the more logical, stable, and mature ones.

Now, this is a stereotype, one that has been proven wrong time and time again. There is nothing logical, stable, or mature about being so upset at a 12 year old you think killing her friends is a good idea.

And similarly, there is nothing actually inherently wrong about being a weirdo, or mentally ill. For one, uh, everyone is a bit of a freak sometimes, and two, Mesmer Jr treats it as if for the world to get better arcanists need to fully disappear and be replaced with human rationality, but Madam Hoffman says it best:

(Chapter 6 Part 15: With Hope Rekindled)

Hofmann: We have all heard it, humans are more rational and arcanists are more emotional. Hofmann: Their sensitive to the darkness of the world, so they can easily become absorbed in their own emotions and ignore reality Hofmann: But, if we put a human child in the position of an arcanist, who always takes on the world because of his uniqueness, who is never understood for his talents... Hoffmann: Maybe he too will become impulsive, sensitive immature and unstable Hoffmann: And that's why it sometimes dawns on me that if we put an arcanist child in the position of a human being who receives enough love, education, and positive feedback... Hoffmann: These 'instabilities' might be controllable. At least enough to keep them from hurting themselves or others.

But Mesmer Jr really does believe wholeheartedly that being a "freak" is bad, and that being an arcanist is to blame for why she is one.

Mesmer Jr, Hat and Hair: Thanks to it, we are all freaks now. Haven't you ever blamed your brain? Haven't you for once vomited due to the sound or whisper in your brain? How naive and ignorant.

That being an arcanist is something inherently wrong, and as a result of that inherent wrongness, that inherent "insanity," they need to be controlled by humanity.

Mesmer Jr, Chitchat II: I can only stand those arcanists from the Foundation and the Laplace. After all, their insanity is contained by humans.

She believes that humans are destined to overtake arcanists like it's natural selection. That it's only inevitable that arcanists will be overtaken by a species that in her eyes, is logical and understandable.

Mesmer Jr, To the Future: Just like Homo sapiens wiped out Neanderthals, arcanists will be eliminated as well. This is not a prediction, but a predestined fate.

This is, of course, due to the systemic part of Reverse's world constantly pushing this idea that arcanists are Inherently more immature and chaotic.

Constantine and her family deeply traumatized Mesmer Jr and then told her it wasn't actually their fault but this Other Group that She is also apart of but Don't Worry it can Be Controlled.

Mesmer Jr: It's not just about age. It was never going to be suitable for me. Mesmer Jr: Unless one day all the arcanists are gone. Pandora Wilson: Then you and I will be gone, too. Mesmer Jr: Exactly, along with the source of my pain

However, Mesmer Jr's own mental illnesses and susceptibility towards being overwhelmed by others emotions does really mean that she finds being around highly emotional people Taxing. She also finds that the unpredictable of life and other people Tiresome.

She was friends with Vertin in the rest when she was younger sure, but even then she did find arcanists overwhelming and "scary," even when she wasn't in the full thick of it, she saw them being treated and found it unpleasant and painful.

(Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien)

Mesmer Jr: But I'm not interested in arcanists. They are all mad people, and we had to treat them after all...They looked scary.

Now, usually, you grow out of this. She's not Born To Be Racist Forever.

In a better world she very much could have, I dunno-

Be able to actually internalize that arcanists aren't actually inherently a harmful thing, but that her needs sometimes conflict with the needs of others and grew up with the tools necessary to understand that this is a fixable problem that doesn't actually need a whole group of people including herself to die to be solved.

Or, something like that.

However, this isn't that world, this world thinks Mesmer Jr is a good therapist, and that her treatment is humane.

So she's seeks to create stability in the world as a result of that lack of support.

Mesmer Jr, Hobby: What you see is the alignment and tidiness. What I adore is this orderly state.

As much as she understands that it's a sign of her own "franticness" that she does this, it gives her comfort knowing that she has things that she Can Control. That her life isn't actually dictated fully by things out of her understanding. That she has the ability to direct her life in a small, maybe even insignificant way.

Cause, she really just doesn't have much control over her life.

Press the Button

Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: ...Achieve the function.

A lot of Mesmer Jr's idolization of humanity comes from this idea of efficiency and simplicity. She talks so much about rationality and "tidiness," but as I've already established Reverse is full of so many instances of "human insanity" so it's plain ignorant to ascribe this trait to humans.

Which, well one she is ignorant, and also racism isn't rational and Mesmer Jr was taught human supremacy of course it's not going to be aligned with actual reality.

Which is true.

However, I do think it's interesting these traits that she idolizes are not from humans but from:

Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: Humans are like machinery, simple and efficient. Arcanists are quite the opposite.

That's who she's actually idolizing here, isn't it? She's not really idolizing humans, that's just the framework she was given. She's idolizing machines and going "Wow humans are so cool."

Her Udimo is a machine.

Not just any machine, but a machine invented in part By Her Workplace, and even when she was 12 the narrator describes her as a "refined machine." Indifferent and rigid.

This is the beautiful controlled being that she is seeking! The beautiful tidy, orderly, calm being that just proceeds with whatever order is given to it. One that has...completely no control over it's life, and what to do with it.

Because, traditionally speaking, Machines do not have the ability to self-determine. They don't exist as people with conscious thought and emotion, but as Things and Tools that can Achieve Functions.

I noted way back in the start that Mesmer Jr is startlingly obedient. She does what she is told, and encourages others to do the same.

She's glad that Vertin:

Mesmer Jr, 100% Bond Conversation: ...Anyway, I'm glad you gave up on those insane plans.

Before saying that she doesn't want to be forced to Lobotomize Her, and that she doesn't actually want anyone to end up in Artificial Somnambulism.

But she doesn't say she won't do it. Just that she's happy Vertin did "give up" because it means that she probably won't have to. This seems to be her general approach. Even if she's not happy, she'll do it, her wants don't matter.

She assumes that she has no other option and that her only path forward is following orders from her boss. That the only path forward is the one set for her. There's no point in fighting it so she's just gonna continue on that path, and others should do the same or else they'll get Hurt. Learned Helplessness.

Sonetto is similar to her in this sense (Mesmer Jr says so herself,) and Sonetto is shown to hold quite a lot of repressed emotions, and to deviate from the rules or what is logical when she feels something is at stake.

After all: (Is ABA Really “Dog Training for Children”? A Professional Dog Trainer Weighs In.)

We all know that we can feel angry without expressing anger. That we can smile when inside we are crying. You can stop someone from expressing an emotion, but that doesn’t make the emotion go away. A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.” When you read about a dog attack that came “out of nowhere” and “without warning,” it is because this sort of method was used to handle “problem behaviours.” Studies show that dogs trained with these sorts of methods actually have an increased rate of aggression, because punishing aggressive behaviour doesn’t deal with the underlying fear and anxiety that caused the aggression in the first place.

But Mesmer Jr, in contrast to Sonetto, who has an interest in poetry and curiosity in the outside world and has the aforementioned repressed emotions. Has no real distinct personal identity. She does not own anything that shows her interests, unlike her other coworkers who usually have at least Something on them. All of her items are stuff made by Laplace and exist unaltered. Even her cute little headband is a EM amplifier is part of the uniform.

She holds no control, no identity, no agency. She exists as a machine that someone can press the buttons of and achieve whatever function she needs to achieve at the given moment.

This is her current state of existence, and it's not something that's exactly sustainable. The cracks in this machine-living have been showing since she was 12. How many more do you think have been created now that she's 16?

The Foundation

Now, this is really depressing, but that's because Mesmer Jr is just a bit of a depressing character. She can't really get away from her job. For one, her parents are horrible, two The Storm means that the world is always on the verge of ending. Where else will she go?

But, as said previously:

A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.”

Similarly, a girl trained to not develop any sort of identity will crack Someday.

I have no knowledge of what could happen next in her story, nor am I interested in theorizing about it. But I do find it interesting to think about.

[vampveli]

"Investigator Marcus's report was highly lacking, making it challenging for us to infer what truly happened."

Investigator Marcus is traumatised to hell and back and still not in a safe location, give her a minute she's going through it right now

[vampveli]

just realized i am an object that does not like to be perceived by more than 5 people at once, might have to do something abt that

[vampveli]

: DD

[vampveli]

Hello dear friends!

❤🤍💚🖤🇵🇸🇵🇸

All the positive words cannot express how generous you are, especially in sharing my posts to inform other donors about the people of Gaza who are still suffering from the terrible conditions caused by the unjust war on Gaza!

❤🤍💚🖤🇵🇸🇵🇸

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support you are giving to help Palestinian families stay safe and alive. ✌✌

❤🤍💚🖤🇵🇸🇵🇸

We collect such donations to provide the minimum basic needs of life and help find safety and peace for young children who do not deserve to live in such horrific situations. Thanks to your contribution, my family is slowly approaching 1/2 of the way to reach the goal. Every form of your help makes a difference to the free people who have been struggling and paying so much for almost 305 hard days

❤🤍💚🖤🇵🇸🇵🇸

Please continue to support the most just cause in the world either by donating directly or by sharing the link to let others know. Don't hesitate to help people in difficult and miserable times until the dark days are over.

❤🤍💚🖤🇵🇸🇵🇸

https://gofund.me/e7c7528a

[vampveli]

Billsona

i wonder if Tumblr will like this lol

[vampveli]

Hello 👋

Vetted by @90-ghost

Link

Hello, I am Heba Al-Anqar, 21 years old, a university student. My university was suspended due to the war. I am writing about my family: my father Bakr (54 years old), my mother Alaa (46 years old), and my sisters Aya (18 years old), Amal (15 years old), Muhammad (13 years old), and Maryam (8 years old). We have faced many challenges in this war, from the destruction of our home to the famine we continue to suffer in northern Gaza.

My father suffers from heart problems. He had open-heart surgery when he was 36 years old. He also suffers from cartilage problems. He had his pelvic joint replaced about two years ago, in addition to other health problems. He cannot work due to his health condition.

My mother also suffers from asthma and shortness of breath, in addition to the difficulty of obtaining treatment due to the conditions and the war.

This is our house, which was destroyed by war

We have become homeless in places of refuge, in addition to the difficulty of obtaining medicine, food, and daily expenses

I created this account to request your help in this difficult ordeal by donating to meet the necessary needs, as we were relying on social assistance before the war.

My goal is to help my family live in safety and provide the necessary necessities for living, as there is a high cost of living and difficulty in obtaining necessities. We ask for your help in leaving the Gaza Strip to save my family’s life. The cost of travel is $5,000 per adult and $2,500 per child, in addition to travel and accommodation expenses of $500 per month.

Together, we can support Heba and her family through this ordeal. Your donation, no matter how big, can make a difference in my family's life to get life and start a new life

If you are looking to support Heba and her family, please consider providing assistance directly or through relevant charitable organizations.

[vampveli]

fanboy

[vampveli]

click for better image quality

my guy so mortal he can't handle specs's ~+30 stash. story and concept details under the cut

Originally I was trying to fill in the space between bill coming back and the events of the handyman au, but it got away from me. It's also what happens when I slap that au and Misery by Stephen King together, sort of. #miserabill au i guess

Anyways, in this au/future in order to hopefully lure some of the henchmaniacs that are still at large, bill is released back to his body, completely powerless and weaker. His immediate order of business is to destroy the ankle tracker, unfortunately because he got nerfed his body doesn't instantaneously heal. He ends up getting chased by gnomes (?), loses his hat, and runs to the mystery shack which is temporarily run by Melody since Soos is away for a week or 2 for reasons. Bill passes out because of unfun pain, and Melody takes the life size triangle in. From there its just... idk plot, maybe some inversions of the gf episodes.

Melody would 100 % try contact the Pines about it but due to winter weather (yea its winter) it gets delayed. When she does I think there would be some kind of argument about whether to shoot him with a space gun or not cause it might "release him" from his flesh (?) prison. So he's just stuck there plotting his way to power. Also they have read the Book of Bill, but the theraprism part was not in it for them.

A couple plots I have in my head are bill doing the drunk transcript thing with the Pines on a group call and gets bullied, the shape shifter is back and wants that sweet sweet monster knowledge bill has, the Stans try to take a interdimensional short cut to the shack but end-up running into a few of the henchmaniacs who are lying low (for now) they're running a little middle-of-nowhere diner ig, the swap carpet is back, melody just generally having to keep track the oldest child in the universe, and everyone and everything in gravity falls wanting to fight him. Abuelita is there too.

Also, Bill doesn't have crack on his physical form, but has them on his dreamscape/nightmare realm/astral projection form.

[vampveli]

click for better image quality

my guy so mortal he can't handle specs's ~+30 stash. story and concept details under the cut

Originally I was trying to fill in the space between bill coming back and the events of the handyman au, but it got away from me. It's also what happens when I slap that au and Misery by Stephen King together, sort of. #miserabill au i guess

Anyways, in this au/future in order to hopefully lure some of the henchmaniacs that are still at large, bill is released back to his body, completely powerless and weaker. His immediate order of business is to destroy the ankle tracker, unfortunately because he got nerfed his body doesn't instantaneously heal. He ends up getting chased by gnomes (?), loses his hat, and runs to the mystery shack which is temporarily run by Melody since Soos is away for a week or 2 for reasons. Bill passes out because of unfun pain, and Melody takes the life size triangle in. From there its just... idk plot, maybe some inversions of the gf episodes.

Melody would 100 % try contact the Pines about it but due to winter weather (yea its winter) it gets delayed. When she does I think there would be some kind of argument about whether to shoot him with a space gun or not cause it might "release him" from his flesh (?) prison. So he's just stuck there plotting his way to power. Also they have read the Book of Bill, but the theraprism part was not in it for them.

A couple plots I have in my head are bill doing the drunk transcript thing with the Pines on a group call and gets bullied, the shape shifter is back and wants that sweet sweet monster knowledge bill has, the Stans try to take a interdimensional short cut to the shack but end-up running into a few of the henchmaniacs who are lying low (for now) they're running a little middle-of-nowhere diner ig, the swap carpet is back, melody just generally having to keep track the oldest child in the universe, and everyone and everything in gravity falls wanting to fight him. Abuelita is there too.

Also, Bill doesn't have crack on his physical form, but has them on his dreamscape/nightmare realm/astral projection form.

[vampveli]

Someone HAS to have done this already. Eda and stan outfit swap 🫡