vanashoog

[vanashoog]

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fun fact

im weirdly knowlagable in the history of soda i dont even drink soda why do i know so much about it

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why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable

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What started off as a small lie, but snowballed into “this is my life now”?

My freshman year of college I was walking around campus when a very friendly looking girl waved at me. I’m awkward, so of course I waved back. The next week, the same thing.

This began the weirdest saga of my life.

For the next two years, we greeted each other as old friends every time we came across the other. She knew my name (somehow?), I never could figure hers out and it was WAY too late to ask. I just pretended I knew who she was and why she knew me.

Finally, I joined the honors program and entered my classes for my thesis. Who should be in this class but mystery girl! I was horrified. I wouldn’t be able to pass it off anymore.

First day of class we are all sitting there chatting and she greets me by name, again. I had finally learned her name from attendance, thank God. Someone asks, finally, “oh, so do you two know each other? Where’d you meet?”

Silence.

I stare at her. She stares at me. Finally she breaks down wailing. “I don’t know! I don’t know, okay, we’ve just been waving at each other for two years and it was too late to ask!”

Shes standing in my wedding next spring as one of my bridesmaids and very best friends.

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space is weird

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when people are really rude and douchey and everyone still loves them

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small child: [absolutely incomprehensible gibberish]

me:

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also i got a tiny rubber baby for 95¢

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Olympians: They’re just like the rest of us.

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This is the greatest two seconds of my day.