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[vanemando15]

Sooooo excited for this

Jump Then Fall - Part 3

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc “Vanessa Morales”

Word Count: 3600+

Rating: M for mature - 18+ only!

Warnings: Please be aware there is an 11 year age gap. Mature themes and some canon mentioned. Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: When the story starts, Vanessa is 19 and Javier is 30.

**Shoutout to @VaneMando15 for listening and bouncing ideas from me, and for her guidance with being a Latina herself. Without her, this wouldn’t even be a thing, just another line on my WIP spreadsheet. And also to my husband, who is also Latino and answered any questions I had (along with taking me to Colombia back in 2014). And to @wyn-n-tonic, who listened to my rambles and insecurities about writing an oc in first person.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

Jump Then Fall Masterlist

General Masterlist

Javier Peña Masterlist

<<Part 2<<

He's coming back. Chucho is bringing Javier back after 6 years. What do I say? How do I tell him he has a son who is already 6 years old? Will he even remember me? Will he want to be a part of mine and Alex's life or will he turn and run?

My mind spirals as I finish drying the last few pans before putting them away. I head upstairs, my brain going through a million different scenarios before I take a quick glance in the mirror. I smooth down my hair and put on a new outfit, a simple summer dress that goes down to my knees, and end up randomly tidying and cleaning the house, never settling on one spot.

I knew this day would come. I guess I just never thought about it specifically. 6 years ago, I was so sure of my choice not to tell him, that I wouldn't want him distracted in Colombia but I wouldn't want him to come home and resent us for forcing his choice. But a part of me, ok a large part of me, feels guilty for not giving him the choice.

I hear Chucho's truck pull up outside and my heart starts beating faster. The truck doors slam and muted voices make their way to the front door. I pick up the book on the counter in front of me and open it, my eyes not taking in a word but I didn't want to look like I was waiting around for them. For him.

"...'m fine. You don't have to b-baby me."

"I'm just trying to make sure you don't vomit on the clean floors."

He's drunk. I can tell by the way his words are slurred, his feet thunking across the wood floors in a sporadic pattern. Before I can move, he stumbles through the kitchen doorway, his eyes taking a few moments to focus on me.

"Who are you?"

My hearts sinks a little. I would've been surprised if he remembered me, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.

"Vanessa."

He steps closer to me, his eyes scanning my body before settling on mine.

"Are you fucking my dad?"

"Uh, no. I-"

"Ok, Javi. Time for bed. Vanessa will be here later for you to question," Chucho claps his hands on Javier's shoulders and guides him towards the doorway.

"Ok, ok. I have more questions later, Vanessssssa."

I give him a little wave as he disappears through the doorway. Chucho struggles to get him up the stairs, but eventually the sounds of them arguing disappear and I'm left alone for the moment. I turn around, gripping the counter with both of my hands and take several deep breaths.

He doesn't remember me. Or maybe it's because he's drunk? How do I handle it now?

His eyes, though filled with the drink, held a lot of anger and regret. He's hurting. I can't imagine what he's seen or had to do in persuit of Escobar. Chucho walks back in, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Sorry about him. He doesn't usually get drunk like that."

I wave my hand. "It's fine. I imagine he's been through a lot."

"Still, it's not an excuse to act like an asshole...he's going to be out for a bit but I'm thinking hamburgers for dinner? Something greasy to help that hangover he's going to have."

"Sounds good."

Chucho studies me for a moment. "How are you?"

That's a good question. "I...I'm not entirely sure."

"You need to tell him."

I nod. "Of course. But I can't tell him when he's drunk."

He chuckles. "No, I suppose not. But soon, ok?"

I give him a small smile before moving to get out the ingredients to bake some hamburger buns. Chucho moves to the living room, the tv turning on a moment later. He flips the channel and the news report echoes through the doorway to me.

"Breaking news! Pablo Escobar has just been killed. This is live footage of the rooftop where he was killed by DEA agent Steve Murphy..."

I step into the living room, watching the live broadcast of the rooftops where the outline of a dead man lays splaid on the tiles, other men in tach vests surrounding him. A blonde man high fives someone as the news anchor continues their report. But then it dawns on me.

Javier is not there, finally catching Escobar after 6 years of chasing him. He's here. No wonder he's drunk. What happened?

"Why is Javier here, Chucho?"

He's quiet a moment. "I don't know."

I return to the kitchen, mixing the dough before forming the buns. I can't imagine working for 6 years trying to catch one of the most elusive men, only to be forced away at the very end, not even being allowed to be there for his capture. I'd lose my mind too. I know I need to tell him about Alex, but I also need to give him a moment with this.

But how long of a moment?

-------

It takes 3 days for Javier to come out of a drunken stupor. I hear his bedroom door open as he stumbles down the hall with a groan, the bathroom door closing behind him. I hear a slam from the bathroom, sounding like the toilet lid. I wipe my hands on my apron and head upstairs, hesitating for a moment outside of the bathroom door. I knock very gently.

"Javier? Are you alright?"

A grunt followed by another violent heaving sound answers me. I turn the handle, slowly pushing the door open as the heaving subsides. Javier slumps against the side of the bathtub, his hand moving around to find the handle to flush the toilet. His hair is rumpled, his eyes mostly closed, clad only in a pair of sweatpants. I walk over to the toilet and close the lid, flushing the toilet for him. His hand drops to his lap and he takes a couple of deep breaths.

"Thanks."

"Of course. Do you want help up?"

He cracks his eyes open and looks at me. "You're not my dad."

"That I am not."

He lifts his head, opening his eyes a little more before hissing and closing them, squeezing the bridge of his nose. "The fucking light is going to kill me."

"Well I can't do anything about the light coming in this window. But let's get you back to your room in bed. You'll feel better."

I wait a few moments while he gathers himself, extending my hand to help him up. He squints at me and I roll my eyes.

"Just take my hand. I'm stronger than I look."

He takes it and I have to hold back a gasp as his large hands engulf my small ones, the warmth from the contact sparking all sorts of thoughts and memories. I pull him to his feet and he leans on me as I help him back to his room, pulling back the sheets as he slides in. I pull all of his curtains firmly shut, only using the light from the hallway to see around. Javier settles into bed, groaning a little as he puts his hand on his stomach.

"I'll bring you some water and pain meds."

"Oh you don't have-"

"That wasn't a question."

I head back downstairs, getting a glass of water. I stop by the bathroom again, opening the medicine cabinet and getting out some pain meds. I also pull out the bottle of activated charcoal tablets that Chucho handed me shortly after Javier came home. He said they suck to choke down but they'd really help the hangover. I carry everything to his room, shaking out the right amount of charcoal tablets. Javier sits up with another groan, taking the pills and the glass of water.

"This isn't aspirin."

"No. It's activated charcoal. Chucho said it will really help your hangover. You can't take it with any meds though as it'll just absorb those."

"I'll just take the aspirin."

"I really think you need to take the charcoal."

He looks up at me. "I don't even know who you are why the fuck would I listen to you?"

"Because I just carried your stubborn self all the way from the bathroom after you puked your guts out. I'm just trying to help. Take the damn pills."

He studies me through squinted eyes. "Yes ma'am." He chokes down the pills and makes a disgusted face before drinking several sips of water. "Those taste terrible."

"I never claimed they tasted good. So let those do their work and get some rest. When you're ready, come downstairs and I'll make you something to eat."

He looks at me again, his eyebrows slightly furrowed together in concentration. "No really, who are you?"

"Vanessa. Now get some rest."

He lays back and I pull the blanket up, giving him a small smile when I catch him looking at me. I leave the room and head back downstairs, finishing up some of the lesson planning I was doing for the upcoming semester.

A few hours later, Javier comes downstairs, this time with a shirt. Although he only has the bottom 3 buttons done up. I'm not sure why he even bothered with a shirt. Not that I'm complaining. He stands there awkwardly, like he doesn't know what to do.

"Feeling better?" I ask, turning to face him from my stool at the kitchen island.

"Yeah. Those charcoal things worked really well."

"Good. I've never been hungover so I wasn't sure, but I figured Chucho knew what he was talking about. Are you hungry?"

"I uh...I'm not sure," his hand goes to his stomach, his face souring slightly.

I head over to the slow cooker on the counter. "I made some chicken noodle soup. If anything, you can sip on the broth?" I look over at him, his head cocked to the side, watching me.

"Javier?"

"What? Oh soup. Yeah. Sure."

I ladle him a bowl and grab some saltines and set them on a little plate next to his bowl and set it in front of him. I also set down a glass filled with cloudy looking water.

"Coconut water?" Javier asks skeptically.

I shrug. "My mom always gave it to me during and after a cold. Said it gave me back nutrients. I figure alcohol probably takes a fair amount of nutrients from you. So it should help."

"Hhmm. Guess we'll find out." He takes a tentative sip from the cup, licking his lips a little after. "Hey that's sitting alright."

I give him a small smile. "Good."

Before I can move, he grabs my arm and gives it a little squeeze, sending jolts of electricity through me. "Thank you."

"Y-you're welcome."

I sit and pull my planner and books to me, resuming my task of lesson planning. I can feel his eyes on me, like he's studying me. I wish he would find something else more interesting.

"What are you doing?"

I don't look up. "Lesson planning for this upcoming semester."

He takes a slurp of his soup and swallows it. "Teacher? Holy shit this soup is amazing."

I look up at him as he takes another bite, his eyes closing for a moment as he savors the soup.

"Yeah. I'm teaching 2nd grade this year."

"Sounds fun. Seriously, what did you do to this soup?"

"My mom taught me how to cook," My eyes sting and my heart hurts thinking of those memories.

"Well, she did a damn good job."

"Sometimes she got it right."

He looks up at me. "Oh. I'm sorry I touched a nerve."

I wave my hand. "It's ok. I've come to terms with it."

He sets his spoon down, all of his focus on me. His gaze is intense, that little furrow between his brow is back. "You look-"

"Good you're awake, puto. Put some pants on and come help me." Chucho walks in the back door, stomping his boots on the mat outside before stepping in.

"I don't know if I-"

"Come on, son. No more babying I gave you time. Now I need your young bones."

"You sound like a bruja." (witch). But Javier pushes back from the island and starts to grab his plate.

"Don't worry about it, I got it." I stand, leaning over to take the bowl and plate, noticing that he'd eaten all of it. "I have more if you want some."

His dark eyes bore into mine, fanning a flame inside of me. "I want whatever you give me, Vanessa."

SMACK! Chucho slaps Javier on the back of his head.

"What the fuck?"

"Stop flirting and come help me before these chickens run halfway to Mexico."

-------

Chucho and Javier are gone for a few more hours and return just as the sun is setting. I hang up the phone, having had my nightly call with Alex, who is having a blast at science camp. The men kick off their work boots and coats, trudging upstairs to shower.

"Dinner will be ready soon so don't take long!" I yell after them.

Chucho devours the steak I'd made him while Javier opts to have another couple bowls of soup. Before long, Chucho leans back, slapping his stomach.

"Well, I am tired. Gonna get an early sleep. Vanessa? Delicious, as usual. Night, everyone."

"Good night, Chucho."

While he heads upstairs, I start to clean up, Javier immediately moving to help me. I shake my head.

"Nope. I got this."

"I can help."

"Really, it's ok."

"Are you always this stubborn?

"Are you?"

He looks at me before he smirks, but then it's gone just as fast. Man am I fucked.

"I can dry?"

"I appreciate the offer, but really. I'm ok."

"Does washing the dishes relax you or something?"

I know he said it in jest, but now that I think about it, it kind of does. The warm, soapy water calms me down. Gives me space to think.

"Yeah sort of."

He puts his hands up. "Say no more. I don't want to intrude." Did he just wink at me? Javier heads from the kitchen and I hear the front door open, the screen door slapping closed behind him.

After I'm done with the dishes, I dry my hands, thinking. I grab another glass of coconut water and head towards the front door, hesitating for several moments before pushing open the screen. Javier sits on the swing bench, facing out to look over the front half of the farm, a cigarette lit and in between his fingers. He takes a long drag, his lips rounding to blow out the smoke.

"I thought you should hydrate again." I hold up the glass and he turns to look at me, his eyes coming back into focus. He beckons me to him and I walk up, handing him the glass.

"That's a nasty habit, you know," I nod towards the cigarette in his hand.

He shrugs. "You have your relaxing activity, and I have mine." Still, he leans forward and puts it out on the tray he'd set on the arm of the bench. "Come. Sit."

I take a breath and sit, our thighs nearly touching. The air feels electrified, like it's waiting for something to happen. We sit like this for a while, staring out at the cows grazing in the front fields, Javier lightly rocking the swing as he rolls his foot back and forth.

"Thank you for...everything. Taking care of me and..everything." He turns his head to look at me in the light coming in through the windows from the house.

"It's not a problem. Anyone would do it."

He snorts. "Not for me."

"And why not?"

He pauses a moment. "I'm not a good guy."

"Well I know that's not true. You're a great man, Javier." I place my hand on his forearm without thinking, and squeeze. He looks down at where I touch him, placing his hand over mine before looking at me.

"I'm really not. I just..." He trails off, his eyes sweeping over my face. "You...you look familiar. It's been killing me for days."

Well. Now is the time. For this confession, at least.

"That's because we know each other."

His brow furrows slightly. "I had a feeling. From where?"

It still hurts a little that he doesn't remember, even though I know it's a trauma response. Memory loss and PTSD can often go hand in hand.

"You...you gave me a rose, once."

Recognition immediately ripples over his face, his eyes widening, his eyebrows raising a little as he shifts his body to face me.

"Vanessa? From the bar? Right before I left for Colombia?"

I smile nervously. "That's me."

"Summer of new things Vanessa?"

I nod. "Yup. Me."

His eyes are twinkling now, a small smile creeping up his face. "Holy shit! I never thought I'd see you again. It was so hard to walk away from you that morning. The only thing that did it was the fact that the DEA would come down on me hard for missing that flight." His eyes soften the longer he looks in mine and for a moment, we're both transported back to that night, the night he opened up my world.

"H-how are you?" He's hesitant, but his eyes are wide and curious.

"Not bad."

"How did you end up here? I thought you were going back to-" he waves his hand around trying to think. "Austin?"

"Corpus Christi."

He snaps his fingers. "That was it."

Do I tell him about Alex? About being a father? Something inside me tells me to wait. To only surprise Javier with one thing at a time. He's been through so much and the last thing I want to do is pile more on top of that.

"It's a long story but I...got pregnant and my parents..well, they didn't approve. Out of wedlock. Anyway, they kicked me out and I uh, ended up here. Chucho I guess took pity on me and gave me a place to stay. I offered to cook and clean for him which of course he argued against, but," I shrug. "And so I stayed. He demanded I return to college and get my teaching degree I had been working on and he babysat Alex while I did. I owe him so much. My life, basically. I don't know how I'll be able to repay him."

His eyes grew serious. "You're parents kicked you out pregnant?"

I nod. "Yeah."

"That's fucked. Sorry, but it is."

I shrug. "They were the kind of parents that would scrub my mouth out with soap and make me repeat scripture if I had nail polish on so I guess I'm not surprised. I've made peace with it."

"Still. I'm sorry that happened to you."

"Thanks."

We sit in silence for another few moments, one weight on my chest lifted but a very heavy one still remaining.

"The dad didn't help?"

Here's your chance, Vanessa. You can tell him now, despite everything. Tell him. TELL. HIM.

"He...He had other things to do."

Javier scoffs. "What an asshole."

I shake my head vehemently. "No, it's not..they were very important."

"More important than knocking up a young woman?"

"I think so."

"I'm sure."

I turn to face him more directly. "What if it was yo-"

RING RING! RING RING!

The phone cuts through our conversation, forcing an ending that I wasn't ready for. Javier attempts to stand but I put my hand out.

"It might be Alex. I've got it."

I feel his eyes on me as I go inside, answering the phone quickly. It wasn't Alex but some automated political message and I grunt, hanging up the phone in frustration. I should go back outside and explain everything to him, confess it all, but I don't. I do peak my head back outside and call his name, momentarily flustered when he looks at me.

"It was some political something."

"I fucking hate those."

"I'm going upstairs. Drink that coconut water." I point to the untouched glass in his hand and he holds it up towards me.

"Yes, ma'am."

-------

>>Chapter 4>>

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[vanemando15]

Not Without You

Pairing: Lucien Flores x f!reader (nickname: Poppy)

Word Count: 2800+ 

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: Listen. I saw that clip of him making out in The Uninvited. That's it. That's the explanation. This is not betad. This one is for the sluts.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

→Tell Tumblr this should be shared with others by reblogging! That's what the algorithm loves (it's how it works here. I don't make the rules!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Lucien Masterlist

--------

I get out of my car, staring up at the ridiculous mansion in front of me. The sound of the ocean, just out of sight behind the giant home, is soft and gentle in my ears, calming me. Giving me a little mental boost before I sigh, smoothing down my dress. I make my way to the front door, weaving between a few cars that were parked out front. Expensive cars.

It's not that I'm jealous of my childhood friend. Emilia deserves to be happy and she's happy that she married money. Some fancy producer out here in LA that fell for her big eyes and bright smile the second he saw her.

But that doesn't mean I wanted to come to one of her dinner parties, having to schmooze and pretend to be interested in what everyone has to say. I've been here before, met the people, fucked the party boy actor that eventually broke me, and yet here I am, unable to say no to Emilia.

I raise my hand to knock, dreading what the evening will bring but the door flies open before my knuckles touch anything. Emilia stands before me, a few rollers still in her hair, stress all over her body.

"Poppy, you're early! Thank GOD!" She pulls me inside and hugs me, the door closing heavy behind me.

"I always come early because you need me," I smile as she chuckles, lightly punching my arm. "What can I do to help?"

"You're angel, I swear! Can you make sure the table settings are right? There's extra silverware in the-"

"I know, Emilia. Everything like normal?" I'd been to so many of her parties, I know exactly what the set up is.

She nods, her smile growing wider. "Keep it simple and classy. You know me!"

I nod. "So what kind of party is this one? Another schmooze for Mr.?"

She waves her hand. "Yeah something like that. He's meeting with a bunch of actors for some upcoming project. He's hand selected them."

"Cool."

Emilia thanks me again before running off to finish getting ready. I pause for a moment, looking around trying to remember where the dining room is. I head down the hall and into what I think is the dining room. It turns out I remembered correctly, my eyes roaming over the table and making small adjustments to the settings already there. I end up pulling out more silverware, fixing them to Emilia's standards. I hate that I know this stuff, but I've saved her ass more times than I can count at these things so it helps to know what to expect.

As I work, my mind goes back to all the parties past. The ones she brought me to when she first started dating the producer several years ago. She had been so nervous, as if the producer wasn't already head over heels for her. That's where I met-

No. Not going down that road again. I can't do that to myself.

I shake my head and finish the settings, adding some minor touches to the decorations and finally lighting the candles. A knock at the door brings me out of my head and I walk over to answer it. An older gentleman stands there, putting out a cigarette with his shoe. He introduces himself as the director. What an ego.

Several people arrive after him, a mix of actors and a screenwriter. They all mingle in the sitting room for a few minutes before Emilia and the producer make their way in, everyone doing introductions.

The producer claps his hands together, looking around. "We're still missing one, but I doubt he'd mind us getting started. Who's hungry?"

Everyone gives their approval but as they move towards the dining room, a knock raps on the front door.

"That should be him. Guess I tried to start too soon!" Polite laughter at the producer as Emilia moves to answer the door, a quick glance in my direction before she disappears down the hall. The producer is telling some little story about a prior movie he was involved in, one I've heard a zillion times. But his story is short and he motions behind me.

"Just in time! We were about to eat. Welcome, Lucien."

My back stiffens. The room starts to spin my chest heaving. He didn't say Lucien. Did he? Maybe it was another Lucien. It couldn't be my Lucien? No. He's not my Lucien. He made that very clear when he wanted to continue partying and I wanted to settle down.

"Perfect! I'm starving."

Fuck. There was no mistaking that voice, the one that sets my skin ablaze, makes warmth pool between my thighs, the one that told me he needed to focus on his career and couldn't be with me. Not in the way I wanted him.

A small hand on my elbow squeezes me and I know it's Emilia, gently guiding me towards the dining room.

"I'm sorry, Poppy. He invited him and I didn't make the connection until the last minute."

"You couldn't have given me a heads up?" I yank my arm from her grip and swallow hard. I can't let him see how he makes me feel. He doesn't deserve that. I turn, letting the others file past me until he stops in front of me.

"Poppy. I..I didn't know you'd be here."

I'm determined to show him how much better off I am, that he means nothing to me now. I look up into his eyes and all of my resolve goes completely out the window. Were his eyes always that big? That round? So soft? I want to yank him to me by the thin chain around his neck, press my lips to his and never let go.

Way to show him, Poppy.

"I didn't know you'd be here either."

A silence stretches between us, a heavy, loaded silence. His eyes soften the longer he looks at me and is that regret I see? No. I'm projecting. But then he offers me his arm, taking me completely by surprise.

"We can be adults. Shall we?"

Don't do it. Don't take his arm, Poppy. Don't do it, don't do it, don't-

My fingers close on his offered up arm. "I'm sure this is a great opportunity for you."

Fuck, he's still warm. His skin smooth where my fingers touch him. Way to go, Poppy.

He escorts me into the dining room and I feel Emilia's eyes glued to us. He pulls out my chair and I sit, him scooting the chair in behind me before walking around the table, looking for his name card. Which was conveniently placed directly across from mine.

The producer clears his throat after everyone sits and starts making some speech about the project, about handpicking everyone here, blah blah blah. I zone out, trying to use my peripheral to steal glances at him. It's been several years since that night we split, the yelling match that had devolved into quite possibly the hottest sex I'd ever had. No, don't think about that. I need a better look so I turn my head to take a drink and chance a glance at him, only to find him already looking at me, still with the soft eyes. I nearly choke on my drink, managing to swallow it and clear my throat.

He finishes his speech and everyone claps politely, starting to eat and talk amongst themselves. I sit, deciding to choose silence while eating but then Lucien looks directly at me.

"So, what do you think?"

"Uh what?"

Fuck him with those big, stupid eyes.

He gestures towards the producer with his fork. "The project."

"Oh. Well I'm not involved so," I shrug. "I'm just here for Emilia."

He chuckles. "How many rollers were in her hair this time?"

I laugh, my body betraying me. "Four."

"But seriously. A good project?"

"I think..I think it's an honor he hand picked you. I'm not sure what the project itself is, but I'm sure it would be great for your career."

His eyes study my face as I take a bite of my food. "It's not always about the career though."

Anger surges up through me. "Isn't it?"

"How are we doing over here?" Emilia had walked up, cutting off whatever Lucien was about to say to defend himself.

"Great, Em. I'm just going to get something from the kitchen." I set my napkin on the table and push my chair back, Emilia giving me the smallest squeeze to my arm before I turn and head into the kitchen, the door closing behind me and effectively cutting off the sounds of the dinner party.

I lean over the kitchen island, my hands splayed out over the cool marble, trying to calm myself down. I hear the door open, the chatter from the party momentarily loud again before the door swings shut and it's quiet again.

"Em, I'm fine. Really. He just...caught me by surprise. I can hold it in."

"What if I don't want you to hold it in?"

My head snaps up, meeting his gaze, embarrassment making my skin heat up. "Oh. I thought you were Emilia."

Lucien takes a few steps towards me, the light glinting off the thing chain around his neck. "You didn't answer my question."

I stand up straight, crossing my arms. "We've done this dance before, Lucien. It didn't end well."

He smirks and I want to slap him. "I think it ended just fine. In the doorway, on the floor, in the front yard. I had to move my neighbors were too jealous."

My body betrays me with a small smile at the memory but then I reign it in. "I'm still not paying for that end table."

He's closer now. When did he move closer? Almost close enough to touch. His voice is low and raspy. "I'd destroy every end table on this planet if it meant having you under me again."

Fuck. Me.

I turn away from him, not giving him the pleasure of seeing what he does to me. "Flattering. But you made it very clear I was not number one in your life."

"I was stupid. I guess I needed to prove to you, to myself, that I could actually do this acting thing."

Finally composing myself, I turn to face him. "And how'd that work out for you?"

His eyebrows furrow together. "Have you not seen any of my films?"

I had. I had seen them all. I know I shouldn't have, that it wasn't helping me get over him. But Lucien has this pull, this hold on me I've never been able to fully shake.

"Some. But I'm asking your opinion. Off camera."

His jaw ticks a moment before he takes a swig from the glass I only just realized he was holding. "It brought me here."

I scoff. "Yeah, the producer hand picking you is actually a very high honor. I'd be-"

"No, you misunderstand." He shakes his head and sets his glass down on the counter. "I lied earlier."

It was my turn to furrow my eyebrows. "When? You've lied to me a lot."

"Earlier, when I said I didn't know you'd be here. I knew, well...more like hoped you'd be here. Knew it was a long shot but the only way you'd talk to me again."

My heart was racing, nearly bouncing out of my chest as he takes another few steps right into my personal bubble, my lower back against the counter. "I already told you I'm not replacing that end table."

He's right in front of me, the warmth from his body radiating onto mine. "I was a fool, Poppy. I..I love you."

I've waited years to hear him say those words to me again, to hear him actually mean them. To hear them not sandwiched between things like "but I have to focus on my career".

His lips are so close to mine, his breath fanning over my face.

"You broke my heart, Lucien."

"I know. I'm sorry. Let me put it back together."

"Lucien, I-" but he cuts me off with the softest touch of his lips I've ever felt, a whole slew of emotions flooding my body, including the one pooling between my legs.

"I can't do this without you, Poppy."

"Do this?"

"Life. I don't want to do it without you."

Fuck.

I grip that chain around his neck and pull him to me, our lips crashing together, his body pressing into mine. But then the counter scrapes across my spine and I jolt, breaking the kiss to gasp in pain. Lucien steps back, offering me his hand.

"Let's go somewhere where we won't break the furniture."

I shouldn't take his hand. I can still back out. But a small voice in the back of my head believes that he means it. That he wants a life with me, wants what I wanted all those years ago. And right now, I'm letting that voice win. I take his hand and he smiles, that smile that makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world. He guides me out the back door, past the pool, past the changing tents between the pool and the beach, and down the walkway alongside the neighbors cement wall that leads down to the beach.

He spins me and I laugh, tasting the salty ocean air on my tongue. I back up towards the wall and he follows me, lowering himself to my level. His large hands wrap around my hips, gliding down to cup my ass, and I moan into his kiss, my hand gripping his shirt to pull him closer to me. He kisses me, his tongue sliding into my mouth like it had so many times before. One hand still firmly on my ass, the other slides up my side, cupping my face so tenderly, full of love. He pulls back slightly and looks at me, like he's shocked I'm really here. That he's really kissing me.

"I love you, Poppy. I never should have let you go."

"Then don't let me go. I've always been yours."

He kisses me again, his hips pressing into mine and I can feel him hard, my cunt desperately throbbing, begging to feel him inside me again. Somewhere in my haze of desire, I hear myself begging, whispering pleas in his ear to take me, that I need him inside me before I die. His hands slide my dress up my thighs, reaching under and ripping my underwear in two, tucking them into his pocket. He had ruined so many good pairs of my underwear that way, but I honestly couldn't care less. My fingers fumble with his zipper, but I manage to get it down, reaching in to grip him, a sharp intake of breath when my fingers close around him, pumping him a few times. His hands slide under my ass, lifting me up as he presses me against the wall. He slides into me and the world stops moving, colors are brighter, and I finally feel right, like I'm actually here on this planet. Every thrust of his hips brings him deeper into me, holding me here, holding me to him. His breath comes out in short pants, desperate pleas of love and apologies between our moans as he fucks me against the wall.

And then the light blooming inside me breaks, my head pushing back, my nails digging into his skin, my entire body tingling as pleasure radiates out from where we connect. Lucien follows suit, moaning my name as he spills himself inside of me, pushing as deep as he can. We stay like that for a moment, trying to catch our breaths.

"I want to stay inside of you but my legs are fucking shaking."

I laugh and he yelps, quickly trying to pull out of me as my laughter contracts my body around him. He sets me on the ground and zips his pants as I smoothe out my dress, my laughter slowly fading. I look at him and he looks back at me, his eyes still soft and gentle. He tucks some hair behind my ear before cupping my cheek again.

"I wasn't kidding, Poppy. I was fucking stupied before. I need you next to me. When we're together, I feel...right. like I belong here. I don't think I can face this life without you."

I know it's a possibility this will end the same way it did before, but something in his eyes is different this time. He's had time to think, time to experience life without someone with him. Without me. He's grown, matured - well, matured some at least. But do I want to open my heart back up to him? Knowing that he could shatter it again at any moment?

"I'm still not replacing that end table."

He smiles and it lights up my entire world. "That's ok. I have plenty more furniture we can ruin with our love."

-------

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[vanemando15]

I just can’t breathe

AND we have the video! By @/joeismillers on X! 🥵🥵

https://x.com/joeismillers/status/1768350621411782707?s=46&t=67rZ3XA7w2z6szQQNcLc1Q

[vanemando15]

Totally forgot how good And somewhat depressing this was. Maybe a part two???

A New Life

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Actor Reader

Word Count: 6k

Rating Mature - 18+ ONLY

Genre: angst 

A/n: It’s been a minute. I took a little break from writing. Life has been busy but as soon as I saw Pedro at the Oscars I immediately got inspired to write this fic. Thank you to the amazing @musings-of-a-rose for never allowing me to quit and helping me with this.

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

If you want to be added to the taglist, join here!

The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind. The apartment was pitch black. You had cried yourself to sleep as soon as you got in. After the emotional roaster that you had been on, you finally decide to get out of bed. Walking in a daze, on autopilot you made your way to the kitchen, where you realized that this was no longer how the home that it once was before. After making some coffee, you started packing all your stuff into luggage, waiting for your agent Chloe to come to help you. This time, there was no music pumping or him grabbing you to dance while you were cleaning or cooking. It was just you, alone, in a quiet apartment that you and Pedro once shared.  

After so many years spent together, now that it's over, you were left feeling confused and, honestly, lost.

Ring… Ring… Ring… 

Your phone was blowing up with text messages from Pedro.

Text Message - 11:29 a.m. Pedro - A, please answer me

Text Message - 11:30 a.m. Pedro - A, you left last night without letting me know. 

Text Message - 11:31 a.m. Pedro - A, I know you're upset but please answer me to let me know you're ok.

Text Message - 11:32 a.m. Pedro - Please answer me! I’m worried about you.

Text Message - 11:33 a.m. Pedro - I love you.

You angrily grab your phone and throw it against the wall, letting out your emotions with a loud scream.

“Anna! Are you ok? What happened?” 

Chloe, your agent, opens the door of the apartment and runs towards you, seeing you collapsed on the floor, chest heaving, and in tears. 

“You called me last night. Said that you were heading back from Calgary. Did something happen with you and Pedro? What happened? Why is Pedro calling me to see where you are?” 

Chloe brought you up from the floor and sat you down on the sofa as she went and grabbed some water to help calm you down. 

It was real. It really happened. All the hurt, all the pain was being turned into rage, bubbling up inside of you.

How can you move on from this?

Four years ago……

You never thought you'd give up your stable job in Miami to pursue acting. Being an award winning actress was something you'd always dreamed of, but taking the leap was never in the picture. When one of your good friends told you about an opportunity for a role in a show you took the chance and went to audition for it. They offered you the role on the spot, which was the final push you needed to give your dream a chance. After a couple of roles, you were excited when you got a small part in a new show called The Mandalorian. It wasn’t a major role, but you were to interact with the Mandalorian and bounty hunter, Din Djarin, who is played by Pedro Pascal. You had no clue who Pedro is, but you do know you're more than excited to be in a Star Wars series.

Prior to filming the scene, you were to meet up with Pedro to quickly run through your lines and placement. As you were preparing hair and makeup, he popped into the trailer to introduce himself. 

“Um, hi. Are you Anna?”

“Hi! Yes I am.”

“Oh hi! I'm Pedro. It's so nice to meet you.”

He extended his hand and as you were presenting yours a shock came between the both of you at the touch of his hand sending you jumping out of your seat.

“I'm so sorry! I guess I have too much static in my clothes."

He ran his hand through his hair nervously but covered with a beautiful smile that made your cheeks warm up.

“I just wanted to wish you good luck today and hope to talk to you more."

“Thank you for that. I hope so too."

As he attempted to walk out he slipped on the stairs to the trailer and hit his back on one of the steps. 

“Oh my God! Pedro, are you ok?" You went to go help him, but he quickly got up and acted like nothing had happened.

“No no no, I’m  good, I just wasn’t paying attention! See ya!” Embarrassed, he quickly left the trailer and shut the door. 

You smiled and giggled from just what had happened but carried on finishing hair and makeup before they called you up. 

After a long day of shooting, your scenes were done and finally were heading home where a bowl of cereal and a pair of pjs were calling your name. As you were getting closer to your car, you noticed a strange person pacing themselves back and forth by it. He was wearing thick square glasses with a dark blue long sleeve crew neck sweater, khaki shorts with colored stripe socks, and sneakers. If that didn’t give out sketchy stalker vibes then what will? The nerves started kicking in as you started reaching for your pepper spray inside your purse. 

From afar you started raising your voice to give a fair warning.

“Umm hello, whoever you are! I just want to let you know that I have pepper spray in my purse and I'm not afraid to use it?” 

“Hi Anna! It's me, Pedro."

Relieved but a little confused, you looked around expecting to see someone else. But the only people in the parking lot were you and Pedro.

“Ummm, hiiiii! Were you waiting here for me or someone else? Because I saw that you were walking back and forth by my car?”

“Shit, sorry to scare you like that. I mean yeah I was actually waiting for you”.

Taken back by what he just said “You were?”

He started laughing but in a cute flirtatious way. “Actually, I asked my assistant to ask when you were done filming so that I could track you down. I wanted to see if I could take you out for dinner."

Shocked, you let out a small chuckle. "Are you serious? Why me? Wait - how long have you been waiting for me?"

“Half an hour." He replied.

“Pedro, you should have gotten my number!" You laughed.

His fingers brush his mustache nervously .

“I think we clicked this morning and we hit it off when we were shooting. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you so I had to track you down."

“I think we hit it off as well. But next time get my number. Don't be getting all stalker mode.”

He let out the biggest laugh that made you smile.

“So is that a yes?” he asks as he puts on the cutest puppy face to try and convince you.

“Oh no, how can I resist that puppy face? Of course I would love to go out to dinner with you."

He took you to a Cuban restaurant in LA because you had mentioned to him during takes that you were home sick and missed your mom’s cooking. Not wasting any time you ordered a rum and coke as soon as the waiter came in. Not sure if this was a first date you were in sure need of liquid.

“Rum and coke?” Pedro asked.

“Yes, it's my go to drink and plus I'm a little nervous,” you replied. 

He chuckled “Nervous? Would it be weird if I'm kinda nervous too?.” 

Shocked and taken off guard you quickly lift your glass and chug half of your drink. 

Well this should be fun, you thought. 

“So tell me why are you single?” he bluntly asked you as he picked up his beer. He looked so relaxed asking you such a personal question.

“Straight to the hardcore questions I see, Mr. Pascal.” You jokingly tell him. 

“Life has been complicated for me and the cards never aligned with me. It’s hard to find someone to settle down with in this city.” you explained to him.

Pedro pushes his glasses back “Well….. maybe we can change that.” 

“Maybe we will.” as you looked at him while taking your drink. 

The night went on as the both of you were telling jokes, talking about each other's lives, interests and you come to find out that the both of you have a lot in common. Flirtation was on high alert between the both of you. 

While waiting for the check he popped open his phone and scooted close to you and brought you close to him. He turned on the camera of the phone and put the selfie mode and the both of you got together cheek to cheek and took a picture. 

“What is this for? Just in case you murder me and you have an alibi? Plus do you know that you are taking video and not camera?” you joked. 

“Oh crap I always do this wrong.” He quickly changes the photo mode and takes the picture. As he took out his wallet to pay the bill he presented his other hand to you and said “To answer your question I want to take a picture of us because it would be something that we can look back on as a reminder of our first date.” The biggest smile came from you as you believed he was hinting something to you.  

The two of you made your way through the neighborhood towards your apartment complex. 

You arrive at your doorstep, turn to him with a twisted smile, not sure what to do next. 

“Well this is my place. Thank you for tonight Pedro. I really had a good time tonight.”

Pedro smiled at you “I had an amazing night too, Anna. It feels good to go out with someone new that I can get to know and maybe more.” As he inches closer to you the keys from your purse slipped out as you were searching for them. Pedro grabbed them and his wrist accidently brushed your ankle and you instantly gulped, his touch made you weak in the knees.

He presents you your keys and his hand brushes your palm as he places the keys on your hands “I believe you need this.” 

“Clumsy me,” you blush. 

Pedro slowly approaches you once more “Just a little clumsy but it's cute.”

He places a soft short kiss and slowly retreats back a few inches and the both of you are stuck looking deep into each other's eyes. Without hesitation, you grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into an intense kiss. His energy matches yours by the roughness and gentleness that the both of you were having. He gently grabbed your neck and pulled you even more to him and the kiss grew to become more passionate. The both of you fall back against your apartment door. Your hands glide through his curls. You tease him by slightly biting his lower lip and in return he wanders his hands all over your body. The intensity was getting fierce between the both of you. When all of a sudden-

“Umm excuse me Miss?” The apartment complex security interrupted the moment. 

Your lips departed from his and the both of you started giggling as Pedro placed his chin on your forehead to brush out the embarrassment as the both of you waited for the security guard to leave.

Letting go of his hand, you placed a soft kiss on his cheek “I gotta go but thank you again. I hope for more soon.” 

You open the door, walk in and slowly turn back to him “Good night Pedro.”

Your life was never the same after that date. 

While your relationship with Pedro flourished, so did both of your careers. After the first season of The Mandalorian, Pedro went on to do several movies while you got several acting jobs that gave you the status per the tabloids of “Rising Stars to Watch”. After 2 years in the business you finally scored your big break in the role of a lifetime. You were cast as a series regular in Law and Order SVU. Filming for the show was done in New York which meant that you had to move from Hollywood to New York. This was a secret that you wanted to share with Pedro but you were waiting for the right time to share it with him. 

New Year's Eve 2019…

Pedro’s best friend Oscar invited you and Pedro to spend New Years with them in his apartment in New York. This was going to be the perfect opportunity to share the good news with Pedro. On the night of the party right before the clock struck 12, you pulled Pedro to the side and finally told him about the casting news and he couldn’t control his excitement. He grabbed you and twirled you around as the clock was striking 12 and in that moment he told you the words that you were waiting for him to tell you. 

“I love you A.”

You ran your hand across his little curl that was hanging in his face and you repeated the words back to him, “I love you.” and he gave you the most passionate kiss. 

He asked you to move into his apartment because he didn’t want you living alone when he had a place that he could share with you. Moving in with your famous boyfriend was a big step in your relationship but you felt that things happened for a reason so you accepted his offer to move in with him. 

One of the things that you loved and respected about Pedro was that he didn’t share his personal life events in social media. But he was so excited that he asked Oscar to take a picture of the both of you and in that moment, he posted the picture with a cop and heart emoji next to it. 

For the next three years, New York was your home for personal and work. Life for you was going exponentially well. Hard work was finally paying off when after two seasons you received your first Emmy nomination for your role in Law and Order. As your professional life was increasing in fame you were in an amazing relationship with an amazing man. Pedro was becoming the leading man in Hollywood with roles from The Bubble to The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent and he became the top notch actor when he was cast in the leading role of a lifetime as Joel Miller in The Last of Us. 

Crazy schedules between the both of you became the new norm for the both of you. Even though you had gotten used to the hectic schedule, it was taking a toll on your relationship and the spark wasn’t there as it used to be. While he was in Calgary filming, you had decided to go visit him because you had the weekend off. You wanted to speak to Pedro about the concerns you had. 

It was a cold spring day when you arrived in Calgary. You had called his assistant to check his schedule so that you could surprise him. They led you to his apartment that he was staying at in Calgary and you just waited for him to arrive. It was going to be a while until he arrived so you took advantage and took a nap. 

The next day….

You were awoken by the sound of a key entering the door knob. You quickly react and look at your watch and it shows 6am the next day. What had turned out to be a couple of hours ended up being the next day. You were only going to be there 3 days and you just lost one whole day. 

As he walked towards the living room he saw you on the sofa and was shocked by your presence.

“Babe? What are you doing here?” 

Slowly getting up from the sofa, you gave him a kiss to greet him. “Well, I came to surprise you and I had asked your assistant what your schedule was and she had told me that it was only a couple of hours of shooting so I decided to wait here for you. I laid down and I fell asleep.” 

Pedro looked tired and just wanted to go to sleep. 

“Yeah we had a long shoot and we finished a couple of hours ago. I just came straight here.”

Bothered by his response “Did your assistant tell you that there was something for you at the apartment?”

“I mean they did but I didn't know it was you. Why didn’t you just call me?” 

“Well you barely called or text me today, Pedro, or I would have just told you.”

Pedro slumped himself into the sofa and didn’t look at you. It had been almost a month since the last time the both of you had seen each other. 

You got up and faced him: 

“Ok something is going on. Pedro, is something wrong with you? Are you ok?”

It was in that moment as tired as he was that he told you that he thinks that the both of you need space. He felt at the moment that with everything going between the both of you and careers that it was best that you take some time apart to concentrate on your careers. Asking when he came to that realization and he expressed that he had been thinking about it for a couple of months but didn’t want to break your heart and never had the moment to tell you. Unexpected by the words and really shocked that he wanted to end the relationship, you didn’t wait to react. You quickly grab your stuff and leave the apartment without saying a word to Pedro and head back to the airport to catch the first flight back to New York. 

You hadn’t shed a tear yet since the bad news and you were just building it up inside until you arrived at the apartment. 

Current day… 

“Ready to go A?”

“What? Umm yeah. I'm just grabbing my purse.”

Slowly passing your finger on the frame that held that selfie picture from your first date. The last tear you would shed comes down your cheek and was quickly wiped away as you place the frame back on the stand. 

“I’m ready. Let’s go Chloe, I need to get out of this place.”

Four years of memories all cramped into luggage. You took one last look at the apartment as you unclipped the apartment key from your keys and placed it on the table stand. Not leaving a note was the best thing you did. Before you shut the lights and closed the door, you took one last look and quietly said “Goodbye old life” and shut the door. 

3 months later ……

Award season had commenced and you were busy attending the majority of events. Solo of course. Pedro hadn’t mentioned to the media about the breakup and neither did you. Every red carpet you attended, when a question was asked about him, you would just lie and say he was busy filming in Calgary and that was the reason he couldn't attend. With every question that was asked about him, you would swallow your emotions and try your best to not let it get to you.

The Emmys finally arrived and it was the event you had been anticipating. It ended up being the best night of your life because you won the Emmy you were nominated for. While everyone was expecting Pedro to be there, you brought your assistant as your date to the awards show. Looking beautiful in a gorgeous gown, you walk up the stairs to the podium to accept your award. In your speech, you were able to thank everyone - friends, family, cast, and agent, but no mention of Pedro. You returned to your seat where you would look at your phone which had endless missed calls and text messages but the one text or call that you really wanted never came in. Disappointed as you were, it wasn't going to let you drag the night. Arriving back to your hotel at 4am from celebrating in the after parties, right before you jump into your bed, the phone dings with a new text message. When you take a look you were surprised by who it was:

New Text Message 4:30am - Pedro - “Congrats A! You deserve it. All my love. P”

The message was there staring back at you. Should you text back? Should you not? Every single question arises from this one text from him but in the end you shut the phone off and went to sleep. 

The next two months you were filming in Venice for a new movie with Bradley Cooper. Keeping busy keeps you focused and not thinking about Pedro. A month into filming you had seen Pedro’s instagram that he was also in Venice filming a new commercial for a video game. But while the temptation was there for the both of you, neither one texted or called each other to meet up. While the gossip columns were creating rumors that there was an off screen romance with Bradley Cooper, and that he was your rebound from Pedro, you were always to laugh when you would hear such ridiculous rumors. 

You were asked to be a presenter at the Oscars, which was an amazing and exciting opportunity for you. Looking your best was your number one priority. Valentino had called you up and wanted to dress you for the event which made you excited, but also more nervous about going. When they presented you a rough draft of the dress, you were amazed by the presentation of the dress and how it showed off all your curves, which was exactly what you were looking for. 

A week before you were told that the last batch of presenters were announced, lo and behold, Pedro Pascal is one of them. In the height of his fame, between all his projects, of course he would be a presenter. A knot in your stomach came about from the news.

Will he speak to me? 

Will he bring someone? 

Oscar Day…

Oscar prep day was mayhem. You spent the whole day prepping. Immense pressure was building up as this was a once in a lifetime event and you wanted to look your ultimate best. Nerves were starting to creep as you settled in behind the SUV. Your hands were slick with sweat from nerves of going to this and at the same time seeing Pedro for the first since the breakup. As the SUV arrived at the Roosevelt Hotel, you felt like throwing up. Not only were you nervous about being here, you were tormented by the fact of running into him after so much time. As the driver walks around to open the door, one word pops out as you slowly whisper to yourself.

“Showtime”

The door is open and the whole audience looks at you and starts screaming and shouting your name. As you walked to the carpet you put on the biggest smile and wave to the crowd. 

Chloe had prepped you on what to do and where to go on the carpet. It felt like a video game that you had to battle through and get to the finish line. The finish line was the champagne carpet. Making your way through the red carpet, you took pictures with your fans and made your way through the interviewing portion. Still feeling overwhelmed and starstruck, the nerves kick into high gear when you arrive at your first reporter. The typical questions were asked:

“How are you doing?”

“Who are you wearing?”

“Who are you excited to see?”

The first two sets of interviews went by like a breeze. The champagne carpet was getting closer and closer as you finished each interview. No personal questions had been asked, but you were dreading the questions that would come from Entertainment Tonight. They would typically ask gossip questions and it wasn’t so much about the fashion. The interview started smooth:

“Anna, you look stunning. One of the best dressed of the night! I’m sure everyone’s jaws dropped as soon as you walked on the red carpet.”

“Well, thank you for that. It’s all the work of my amazing team that helped me get ready.” 

“Are we riding solo tonight?” - the question she was dreaded to be asked.

“Well, by date if you mean this nice Bulgari necklace that came along with the bodyguard then no I am not riding solo.” The interviewer laughed at your response and followed up with another question.

“Speaking of solo, there has been speculation that you and Pedro were possibly back together since the both of you are here today. Is that rumor true or should we put the rumor to rest?” 

You instantly cringed.

“Well I didn't know that he was coming tonight. Whatever happened between myself and Pedro is for us to keep private. It was a mutual decision to just stay friends. I am sure we will bump into each other tonight and we will be able to catch up. I know he has been busy the past couple of months so it will be great to see him.”

The reporter turned to the camera while you stared at her in the background “Well guys, there's a shot for you now. Good luck to all.” You giggled at her comment as she turned back to you.

“Before you go, I want to congratulate you on the movie you are doing with Bradley Cooper.” 

“Oh thank you.”

“I heard there was a romance. With everything that has gone with your personal life, how did you get ready for this role?” 

“With everything that has changed in my life the past year, whether professionally or personally, I have been able to use that experience and incorporated that into this role. Filming this movie has been a learning experience and being around veteran actors like Bradley has helped me become a better actor.”

“Well, that is going to be an amazing movie and I cannot wait to see it! Thank you so much and have a great evening.”

The interview concluded and a huge relief fell off your shoulders. The champagne carpet was next and then you are home free. The Champagne Carpet was just all photographers flashing lights and screaming your name to take different angles of you. Carefully, you walked to where there was a star placed on the floor which was where you were to stand. Everyone was completely mesmerized by your appearance. The stunning silk red beaded dress hugged all your curves. The dress featured a leg slit that was bound to make people’s jaw drop. To finish your look, you wore a matching necklace along with a pair of red stunner heels. As you posed for pictures, the paparazzi started screaming for your attention.

“Lady in red! Hey Anna over here!”

“Anna! Anna! Over here please!”

Feeling in the moment, you didn’t care who was calling your name. You made sure that every angle was taken of you and your gorgeous dress. 

As you were finalizing the last couple of shots, a change of phase was done and all of sudden the name you didn’t expect to hear was starting to be shouted. 

“Pedro! Pedro! Pedro!” 

With a smile on your face as pictures were taken of you, you just felt frozen and wanted to quickly get out of there. There he was, a few feet from you. You felt your blood was rushing from your head to your heart. Seeing him for the first time since the day you ran out of the Calgary apartment reminded you that whatever life you had shared with him in the past was just the past.

Taking a quick glance you saw him looking remarkably handsome. His hair was slicked back. He was wearing a fitted black tailored tuxedo with a white stand-collar shirt. Rings? Were those rings he was wearing? He reminded you of Dieter Bravo role with the rings. He had a ring on his left hand like a wedding band. Did he get married? Your chest started to compress on thinking that thought and not knowing if that was true. Did he come with a date? His wife? 

In a split second, you swallowed a sigh of relief.

“Javiera, big smile! What is it like coming with your brother?”

“Javiera! Pedro! Over here!”

Chloe noticed that you were trying to get out of there and quickly called your name before you cracked under pressure. You noticed from the corner of your eye that Pedro was starting to head to you and Chloe grabbed you so fast to take you out that Pedro didn’t catch your attention. 

“Anna, everything ok?” Your eyes wandered again back to Pedro as you saw him still taking pictures.

“Yeah I’m fine. Let’s go inside.” You nodded your head as it made you believe your flat out lie you were telling yourself. The last thing you wanted to do was to give the press newsworthy gossip. 

Luckily, they placed the both of you in different areas in the theater so there was no interaction between you. During the ceremony, you would engage and fangirl with all the celebrities that you met. Despite trying not to cross paths with Pedro, you had an overall good time at the ceremony. 

Few hours later, after the ceremony 

If there was an after party that one had to be invited to, it was the Vanity Fair party. You made your way through the carpet and into the party. Once you were given directions and you were inside the party, you headed straight to the bar to grab a drink.

“Rum and coke please?”

As you were waiting for a drink a strong hand grasped your wrist. You instantly turned and were taken back by who was in front of you. 

“Oh shit did I scare you? I'm so sorry.” Pedro directed you. 

Completely off guard, you grinned at him. In that moment, you really wanted to fall into his arms and give him the biggest kiss, but held back. Though you were still hurting from the breakup you were still in love with him. 

You laughed “No way! You didn’t scare me.”

He started getting giddy and sounded nervous as he complimented how you looked. As the place started getting crowded, Pedro moved closer to you.

“How have you been? I know we haven’t spoken since that day. I have been wanting to reach out but I figured you didn’t want to talk to me.” 

Looking directly into his eyes and not wanting to let your emotions out, you respond to his comment to be as real as it could get.

“I've been fine. Keeping myself busy with work.” 

“I noticed. Your movie with Bradley looks amazing. I’m really proud of you. You have come so far from being an extra on Mando.”

You gave him a meaningful smile. The music started getting louder and it was getting difficult to talk or hear each other. Pedro got even closer and now he was inches from your face. He slowly moved his lips over to you and whispered “I would like to catch up with you if that’s ok with you? Save me a dance ok?” 

It was clear both of you wanted each other.  As he gradually touched your arm a shock came across the both of you. 

“Ouch! Are you ok A?”

Rubbing your arm from that tingling sensation you laugh and smile at him.

“I guess we always shock ourselves.”

The party was electric. Champagne was flowing from wall to wall. Award winners were showing off their new accessory to everyone who was in attendance, while you enjoyed partying it up on the dance floor. Pedro was sitting close by and his eyes were on you as you danced with everyone in your vicinity. You knew he was watching, so you took the chance to dance the best way that would attract his attention. His close presence wasn’t going to let you ruin your night. The DJ was on point with the music that they were playing when all of a sudden the dj drops “Let’s Go Crazy.”

Shit, Oh no! This is one of his favorite songs!

Right when the first verse commenced, you felt a strong grip grab and turn you around.

“Can I have this dance?” You nodded. He grabs your wrist and pulls you into him. The both of you sway to the rhythm of the music. You place your arms around his shoulders, bringing you closer to each other. Everyone is for sure looking at the both of you. As the music continues, both of you had your eyes locked on each other. Things were heating between the both of you. His lips looked so delicious and you want to take a bite of it. The tension between you was orgasmic, making you breathless when the song abruptly ends.   

“Can I kiss you?” He asks. You nod your head up and down. He lays his hand on your side and brings you closer and places his lips on yours. It had been seven months since you last kissed him and yet this kiss felt like the first time he kissed you on that first date. 

Backing away from him you realize this was wrong. 

“I miss you A,” he quietly told you.

Seemingly confused, you let go of hands. He was probably talking nonsense. It was clear that the both of you wanted each other and alcohol was not helping the situation. He inched closer towards you again and glided his hand down your back, his fingers warm where your skin was exposed, pulling you closer to try and kiss you again. 

“I can’t do this.” 

Picking up your dress, you headed outside to get some air. The air felt crisp as you placed your hands on the edge of the balcony rail looking out to the flashing LA lights. Your chest started compacting. Breathing was becoming shorter. The lights were starting to become extremely bright and you were losing sense of what was going on with you and started to feel like you were going to faint. 

Were you losing your mind? 

Were you having a panic attack? 

Did you drink too much? 

Don’t make a scene at the Oscars. You can’t be on the front page. 

Placing your hand on your chest, you quickly tried to calm yourself when suddenly Pedro saw and quickly ran towards you. 

“Hey, hey! Look at me. It’s me. It’s me. Breathe, baby girl! Breathe, baby girl!” He slowly placed his hands on your cheeks as you looked into his eyes to calm down. The breathing started to slow back down, the flashing lights started to dim and come back to normal. Pedro grabbed you carefully and sat you down as he went to grab you some water. After a couple of breaths, you felt reality slowly coming back to you. 

He hands you the glass and sits next to you. 

“Are you ok?’’ 

You nodded. 

“What happened? Did I do something wrong? Was it the kiss?” 

“No, no. The kiss was ….” you paused and turned to look at his gorgeous face. “It was amazing. It reminded me of when we first kissed. But it just felt wrong.”

He slowly grabs your hands and your fingers intertwine with his. 

“I miss you, A. What I did was a mistake. I shouldn’t have let you go.” His eyes are pleading and wide just like a lost dog wanting to be loved again. 

Your heart starts to race. “P, I don’t think I can do this again.” 

“Why not?” As he continued to plead to you. “You don’t love me anymore? That kiss that we had back there showed me that there is still something between us. Don’t you want that again?” 

“Pedro, you decided to end this relationship. When I came back to New York I cried for you. I didn't know what to do or how to feel about myself.” Your heart starts racing even more and the tension is rising but you didn’t want to make a scene in front of people, so you hold yourself together. 

“Look. I didn’t come to this event hoping to see you after all this time. I just can’t deal with this. You're just too late Pedro.”

As you start to walk away from him, he grabs you once again. “You don’t mean that A,” he tells you with his glossy eyes. “I wasn’t thinking right when I told you that.” He doesn’t make eye contact with you. “I was just tired and overwhelmed by everything going on with my life. This show is brutal and kicking my ass but I want it to be perfect. I just lost myself in it. Everyday I woke up and I felt out of place. I feel empty inside and it's because you aren’t with me.” 

Visually upset, you rush towards him. “P, you could have talked to me, told me how you feel. I could have taken days off from the show to be together. But you didn’t do that. You just decided not to be with me. Four years! Four years of growing and experiencing life moments together and all for what? I don’t want to be with someone that can’t be open and then leaves them high and dry when things become difficult. I just can’t do that and I'm done with this.”

Wanting to get out of there, you quickly pick up your dress and started heading back towards the party, when you feel a hand pulling your shoulder around, spinning your whole body the opposite direction. His lips pushed against yours and his hands rested on your cheeks. You pull back after what felt like an eternity and look at his face. What you saw were sad eyes that made your heart ache. “A, I need you, I love you and I’m sorry.” You just needed to say it back. 

Say it. 

Say it.

You need him, you love him and you forgive him. 

But you don’t want to get hurt again. You slowly give his hands a slight squeeze and let them go.

“I love you P but I just can’t.” Your voice cracks as a tear finally gives way and slips down the side of your face as you walked past him, leaving Pedro all alone in the balcony as you disappeared into the crowd.

----------

General Taglist

@kirsteng42 @jediknight122 @theewokingdead @musings-of-a-rose @supernaturalgirl20 @mswarriorbabe80 @amb11 @tanzthompson @pedrohoe04 @danikasthings @balekanemohafe @groguspawbeans @the-ginger-hedge-witch @movievillainess721 @littlemisspascal

@thevoiceinyourheadx @christianyelichislife @harriedandharassed @certifiedhunter @meveispunk @mypascalito975 @mrsudontknowmeispunk @pepperpottsxxxx @quica-quica-quica @icanbeyourjedi @fatimaisabelpascal @stxrrylunatic

[vanemando15]

I am in love with this shirt!!!!!! It’s perfect

[vanemando15]

PEDRO PASCAL Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series for 'The Last of Us' 30th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards February 24, 2024

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People’s Choice Award - Best Male Star

[vanemando15]

People’s Choice Award - Best Male Star

[vanemando15]

About time he won something

[vanemando15]

Did I just go there well yeah I did!!!

[vanemando15]

Had fun making this special order for one of good friends. Wanted to post it on the anniversary of TLOU premiere

[vanemando15]

Does anyone get older Javi P vibes

[vanemando15]

First sentence fic game!

“I don’t understand why you can’t leave things unbroken, myself included!”

Broken

Pairing: Frankie Morales x wife!reader

Word Count: 670+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

→Tell Tumblr this should be shared with others by reblogging! That's what the algorithm loves (it's how it works here. I don't make the rules!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Frankie Morales Masterlist

--------

“I’m so sorry, querida.”

“It was supposed to be just a few days.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t even want you to go in the first place!”

Frankie is quiet for a moment before sighing. “I know. I should have listened, but-”

“But you just do whatever he tells you to do, right? Whatever Tom wants?”

“He was my leader for so long it’s just habit.”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t give me that shit, Frankie. You’re a 43 year old man.”

His eyes fill with tears and for one second, I want to drop this argument, run to him and hold him close, tell him everything will be alright. But I promised him I’d never lie to him, cover my emotions, that I’d always be upfront and honest no matter how hard it is, so instead I stand my ground.

“I begged you not to go, Frankie. Begged. You left me. You left us,” I gesture towards our daughter’s bedroom across the hall. “You almost made me a widower and not for the first time! But then you almost made her fatherless. How could you do that?”

“I went to get the money to make a better life for you both.”

“Please. You went because Tom told you to and Santi batted his stupid eyelashes at you and you couldn’t say no.”

“That’s not it at all. I want to take care of you. Both of you!”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about money, Francisco! I only cared about you!”

“I lost my job, querida. What do you expect me to do?”

“Not get yourself killed! You’ve put me through so much hell, and then I got pregnant and you did it again with the drugs, and then you up and disappeared for nearly 2 weeks to Colombia on some..some…heist or whatever! You could’ve died in those mountains and I’d have never known-”

“I know, I’m sorry querida-”

“I don’t understand why you can’t leave things unbroken, myself included!” I sit down on the bed, burning my face in my hands as tears roll down my cheeks.

Frankie walks over to me, hesitating before putting his hand on my leg, rubbing small circles into my exposed skin. I let him do that for a few moments before I lean my head on his shoulder. Immediately, he shifts towards me, pulling me into his broad chest and embracing me as I cry, heaving tears that are so no classy as I let out all of my fear and worry and anger from these last 2 weeks. I drop my hands and bury my face into his chest, inhaling his scent and feeling the warmth seep from him into me, grounding me and comforting me as he’s done so many times before. 

“I thought you’d left me forever, Frankie.”

He squeezes me closer. “I almost did. But I fought for you, for our daughter. I had to get back to you. I was so scared I wouldn’t make it, but I fought. I love you, querida. I will always fight for you. And I’m sorry for…everything.”

He holds me in silence for several more moments before speaking quietly, brushing his lips across the top of my head as he presses a kiss into my hair, inhaling my scent.

“Please don’t leave me.” He says it with such a small voice, almost no hope behind it, like he’d understand completely if I did. I sit up, my hands moving to cup his face, scratching the little patches in his bead. Frankie sighs into my touch, briefly closing his eyes before opening them, his eyes wide and worried.

“I could never leave you, Frankie. I just need you to be on our team. Talk to me when you’re having a hard time. I didn’t sign up for only your good parts. I want all of you. Ok?”

Relief floods his face, a small smile pulling at his lips. “I promise, querida. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Frankie.”

—----

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed   @ladykatakuri @marrianena  @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol   @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics @sullyosully @kmc1989 @veryprairieberry

[vanemando15]

People magazine didn’t get the memo on Sexiest man but he still looks beautiful in it

[vanemando15]

Pairing: Benny Miller x ofc "Lily Morales" (21 year old daughter of Frankie Morales)

Word Count: 9000+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: Listen, I’ve had this in my head for a long time and I just had to get it out. I know the dbf trope may be overdone, and it’s not a trope I normally read, but I just…they kept talking and I had to get it out. Sometimes the fic writes you. Thanks to @mermaidxatxheart for reading this over and helping me get unstuck. And to @avengers-fixation and @rayslittlekitten for also beta reading and giving me some excellent feedback to help this take a better shape!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

→Tell Tumblr this should be shared with others by reblogging! That's what the algorithm loves (it's how it works here. I don't make the rules!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

--------

"What do you want to do for your birthday, mija?" 

I shrug, popping another blueberry in my mouth. "I don't know. Wanna order pizza and watch a movie?"

My dad gives me a look, pointing his fork at me. "Is that what you want to do?"

I don't know. What do 21 year olds want to do besides get shit faced on their 21st? 

"I don't know, dad."

"I think you should go out with your friends."

"Are you really telling me I should go get shit faced on my birthday?"

He chuckles. "No, but you're turning 21. You don't wanna hang out with your old man."

"I always want to hang out with you."

"I love you too, but you're young. You should hang out with your friends."

"I'm fine here with you, dad."

"Look," he sighs and sets his spoon down, looking at me. "Be safe, call me if you need me to come get you or something, but go out. Be 21." 

He won't let up, I can see it in his eyes. "If it means so much to you, I'll go out."

—----

God, I'm bored. My friends all squealed when I finally caved in and said we could go out drinking for my birthday. They picked me up and brought me to a bar, claiming a booth on the side. They had me place the order for drinks, my first at 21, and then paid, splitting the bill amongst themselves. But while I nursed a drink, they kept slamming them back, getting increasingly more drunk. Eventually, they all got up and hobbled onto the dance floor. Well, not an official dance floor, more like a space they drunkenly cleared out while putting on songs on the ancient jukebox in the corner. Some other patrons joined in and soon there was a small group of men around them, laughing and swaying along while I stayed seated at our table. 

"You look bored as fuck, Lil."

—----

Benny:

This week had been rough. Hell, this whole month had been rough. Another girl that just wanted to use him for a fun time had come and gone, leaving Benny feeling a little more than hollow. They never stay long, always wanting his fun side. If he let down his mask for just a moment, showing them all of him, they run. It hurts but if he's being honest with himself, none of them felt right. Like they were placeholders, just someone to pass the time with. Or distract him from the girl he really likes, the one he can't have. 

He takes another swig from his beer, the one he'd been nursing for a while when this large group of about 10 college aged girls comes in the bar, squealing and talking loudly. They make a big deal of securing a booth, practically yelling about how it's someone's birthday. And then, he sees her. 

Lily, his Lily being shoved forward from the group of girls, her short, pleated skirt fanning out as they tell her to go order drinks and they'll pay. When did the feelings for her start? His mind goes back to a specific moment, a BBQ at Frankie's, when Lily was nearly 20. She was walking past the pool, fully clothed and slipped in, a little yelp leaving her just before the splash. But before anyone could move, she was pushing to the surface, makeup sliding down her face and she was laughing, her head tilted back as she made her way to the edge and Frankie pulled her out. Her clothes were soaked, hair sticking to her forehead, mascara covering her cheeks along with the purple eye shadow she had been wearing. Most girls would've flipped out, cried and screamed and gotten angry, but not Lily. She made some quip about not seeing the pool there and then she looked at him as he laughed, her eyes lit up not with embarrassment, but something else that Benny couldn't quite place. But now he saw her in a whole new light. Lily. His Lily. 

Wait, not his Lily. She can't ever be his Lily because she is Lily Morales, Fish's daughter. He couldn't do that to his friend. 13 years isnt too bad of a gap but Fish's daughter? She's too smart for him, too creative, too good. She wouldn't want his old PTSD ass anyway. 

He watches her bring the drinks back and pass them out, her friends pounding them back as Lily takes small, infrequent sips from the glass she's holding, her smile dropping lower and lower as her friends get more and more drunk. 

God, she's beautiful. Her dark brown hair frames her face, loose waves cascading past her shoulders, her shirt hugging her tits the right way and Benny shifts in his seat as his mind wanders, eyes roaming over her body. She can't see him anyway, what would it hurt? 

But as the night continues on, he sees her friends get up, forming a makeshift dance floor, some other young college guys coming to join them. But not Lily. She doesn't join her friends, opting to stay back and take another slow sip from her drink, her fingers drawing a mindless pattern in the condensation on her cup. 

He takes a deep breath, drinking the last swig from his beer as he stands. He won't have her looking so sad on her birthday. He must put a smile on her face. Benny strides over to her, pushing through the crowd. 

"You look bored as fuck, Lil."

Her eyes go wide, her cheeks flushing as she looks up at him, a smile appearing on her face. Surely that's not just for him. She can't possibly feel the same way. Can she? No, she's Fish's daughter. Cut it out, Benny. 

But he can't stop himself from sliding into the seat next to her, hoping like hell she doesn't spot his half hard boner from her thigh barely touching his jean clad one. 

When he looks at her, he knows why other women haven't worked out for him. Because she is the one he wants. And the one he simply cannot have. 

—----

My body springs to life as his voice washes over me, my eyes looking up into his bright blue ones, the ones that I see in my dreams. My cheeks warm and it's not from the half a drink I've had. It's from the fact I've been in love with this man for years. 

"Benny!"

He smiles at me, his eyes crinkling slightly at the sides and my stomach lurches. He waves his hands, silently telling me to scooch over. I do and he sits next to me, his thigh nearly pressing into mine. He leans in close, speaking into my ear as the girls have turned the music up way too loud. 

"Happy birthday!"

"You remembered?"

He's so close, his face inches from mine, his eyes boring into me. "Of course I remember. You're one of my favorite people." 

God I hope he can't hear my heart pounding through my chest. 

"But why are you sitting here by yourself? Shouldn't you be out there?" He points his thumb over his shoulder towards my group of friends, who have now mingled with a group of college boys, all grinding on each other. 

"Hard pass."

"You mean, grinding up against sweaty young men isn't your thing?" His eyes light up with laughter.

I shake my head. "I like older men." Shit, did I just say that? He looks at me, a curious look in his eyes.

"I doubt they'd be able to keep up with you."

"I think one might."

"Sounds like you have someone in mind."

"Maybe I do." Shut up, Lily!

Before he can reply, a loud whoop sounds from the dancing throng and we both look as one of the drunk men try to impress my friend by doing the worm. Benny leans in to me again, his scent filling up my nose and suddenly I'm feeling warm between my legs. 

"I'm hungry. Wanna get out of here and get a burger or something?"

"God, yes. Please save me."

He smiles, sliding out of the booth and extends his arm to me as I get up. I take it, my skin tingling as it brushes against his, feeling his muscles constrict as he guides me through the crowd and out of the bar. I catch my friends eye as I walk past them and nod my head towards Benny, telling her silently I was going with him. She gives me a wink and thumbs up before making a lude gesture that I'm glad Benny misses. I expect him to drop my arm when we're outside, but he doesn't. Instead, he looks down at me, towering over me. 

"Did you drive or?"

"What? Oh, no. Ironically, I was not the designated driver. Don't worry, we took Ubers."

He chuckles. "Smart. Alright, my jeep is around the back. I've only had one beer, is that ok?"

"You're asking me?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm fine to drive but whatever you're comfortable with."

"I trust you." Am I seeing things or is he blushing? 

He guides me to his jeep, opening the door and helping me inside. He drives us across town to a little diner we've been to before, although it's never been just the two of us. Usually my dad or Benny's brother Will is with us. We sit and order giant burgers and a plate of fries to share, and a couple slices of what Benny calls "birthday pie" that we eat first. 

"So why did you agree to go out with those friends if all they did was ditch you?"

I chuckle. "I blame my dad. He made me."

"Fish wanted you to go out drinking?"

"He said I should "go out and be 21". I told him I just wanted a pizza and a movie with him."

"Why didn't you tell me you wanted pizza? We could've gone to get pizza."

"No, this is perfect, really." My hand covers his on the table and I see just how small it is in comparison to Benny's and I swallow hard. "Thank you, really. You saved me."

Benny asks a zillion more questions as we eat, always interested to hear my opinion on things. I've never had a man be this interested in what I had to say, almost as if… there's no way he could feel the same for me, right? I know there's an age gap, but it's only 13 years..

He links his arm with mine again as we make our way back to his Jeep, helping me in before coming around and climbing in himself. 

"I'll take you home."

"No!" Oh shit, did I yell that? I don't want this night to end so soon. Not when I have an excuse for it to just be us.

His eyebrows are raised. "No?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be loud. I uh.. I mean no. My dad expects me to be home late or crash at a friend's. If I come home now, he'll think it's weird."

"I don't think he'd mind you coming home early. Then he knows you're not out causing trouble."

"Please Benny?" I hesitate a moment before reaching out to place my hand on his arm, squeezing it a little. "Can we… I don't know.. just go back to your place and hang for a bit?" His skin is warm under my palm and I feel him shift slightly in his seat, eyes fixed on the road before he glances sideways at me.

“You’d really want to hang out with an old man like me?"

“You’re not old.” I sit back, reluctantly pulling my hand from his arm. “Besides, didn’t we establish that I like older men?” What the fuck is wrong with you, Lily?

He shifts in his seat again and clears his throat, fighting back a smile. “Have anything in mind?”

“We could watch a movie?”

“Alright, you talked me into it. But only because it’s your birthday.” He smiles before reaching over and poking me in the side. I flinch back, a giggle erupting from the back of my throat. “Oh, you’re ticklish?”

“I don’t like the look on your face, Benjamin.”

He’s smiling wide. “No look. Just tucking that information away for later.”

We pull up to his place and get out. I follow him up to his front door, my eyes taking in his broad shoulders, beefy arms, and tight ass. He's so tall, much taller than me. I'd love to climb him like a tree…

Heading inside, I kick my shoes off and leave them by the door, hanging my purse on one of the coat rack hooks. I follow him into the living area. He gestures to the couch and I sit, Benny sitting at the opposite end from me. 

"Want something to drink?" He asks and it may be my imagination, but he sounds nervous.

"S-sure." Way to sound smooth, Lily. 

"Beer ok? I think I have water somewhere."

"Beer will be fine. Thanks."

"You got it. Can't believe I can officially give you this now." He disappears into his kitchen and remerges with 2 bottles of beer, popping open the top and handing it to me. He holds up his bottle to mine and we clink them together. 

"Here's to a birthday!" He says and smiles, taking a swig when I do. 

"It's certainly been one of those."

We flip through the channels, stopping on some trash reality TV to make fun of them, cracking up at the stupidity of the show. We've had a couple of beers by now and I'm not drunk by any means, but definitely warm and I feel myself loosening up as I become more comfortable around him, passing quips back and forth.

"I don't know why she's picking Jason when clearly Porter is the better choice."

"What?" I say, shocked. "You can't mean that. Have you looked at Porter?"

Benny squints at the tv. "Yes?"

"Need your glasses, old man?" 

"Be careful. You don't wanna poke the old man."

I scoff playfully, smirking. "Maybe I do."

In one swift move, Benny sits up, putting his bottle on the coffee table before he turns to me, his eyes full of mischief. He lunges for me but I jumped up, somehow missing his grip and I smirk, turning towards him. 

"You'll have to be faster than that, old man." He tries to get up and I run, trying to move around the back of the couch, but somehow he's there, leaning over the back, his strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me back over the couch as I scream. He pushes me back down onto the couch, his large form hovering over me as his fingers dig into my sides. I squirm under him, unable to do anything but squeal with laughter as I writhe about. But the mood changes suddenly, his fingers slowing as he looks down at me, his blue eyes dragging down my face to my lips. I can feel him pressing into me between my legs and heat rushes there to meet him. He leans closer, our lips almost touching, but then he's pulling back and I can't take it. We were so close, I can't go back to how it was, not knowing that he wants this as much as I do but is stopping himself, denying him and me a chance at happiness. 

My fingers grasp at his shirt, tugging to get him to look at me. When he does, his eyes are wide, a combination of lust and conflict behind them. My finger traces his cheek and I decide to go for it, leaning up while lightly pulling him towards me with the tip of my finger. His lips are nearly on mine, his breath fanning out over my face, but he stops. 

"We can't, Lil."

I nod. "We can." I feel him grow harder against me and it's all I can do to not moan, the weight of him grounding me to this moment. He still doesn't move. 

"I don't want to take advantage."

"You're not. I'm sober."

His lips are so close to mine, his breath filling my own as my lips remain slightly parted waiting for him. 

"He'd kill me."

"I'll protect you."

"Lil," he whispers, his breath heating my lips.

"Ben." I touch my lips to his and oh, his are so soft and warm, tasting slightly like the beer he'd had earlier. He doesn't move for a second and maybe I've pushed him too far. His lips move above mine, responding to my gentle touch with a more heated one, a slight moan at the back of his throat as he glides his tongue into my slightly parted lips. A small groan comes from my chest in return and I hum into his kiss, deepening it as Benny presses on with more urgency, my legs wrapping around him, squeezing him slightly. 

His hands are on my face, pushing my hair out of it as a large hand engulfs the side of my face and neck, holding my chin in place as he kisses me deeper, pressing into me harder, his hips slightly grinding of their own accord. Then he breaks the kiss, leaning up to reach over his shoulder, gripping the back of his shirt as he pulls it over his head, tossing it on the coffee table. I've seen him shirtless before of course, but this is different. A patch of hair is nestled between his pecks, soft but strong muscles flexing as he holds himself up, a small trail of hair disappearing beneath his pants. Fuck do I want to see where that goes. I scramble to grip the bottom of my shirt, lifting slightly as I twist my body to take it off, Benny's hand coming to help. My shirt joins his, Benny's fingers sliding around my back to take off my bra, tossing that on the table too. His eyes dip to my chest and they look hungry. 

"Fuck, look at you, Lil." 

Before I can reply, he leans back down, pressing his chest to mine as he kisses me again, his warm skin so soft against mine. He feels so good, comforting, grounding, I can hardly believe I'm here. He kisses a path down my neck, pausing to suck one of my nipples in his mouth. I whimper, my back arching off the couch towards him, my fingers automatically coming up to tangle in his golden hair. 

"How do you want it?"

"Wh-what?" Is all I can manage as he starts to lick at my same nipple. 

"Do you have any favorite positions? Any you hate?"

"I don't know."

He chucks into my skin. "Should I give you a moment to think?"

I shake my head. "I really don't know. I've never done this before."

Benny drops my boob with a plop, pushing himself up so fast it makes my head spin. "What do you mean you haven't done this before?"

I know I'm blushing under his gaze. "I mean… I haven't.. I just… I've never…" I gesture between us.

"Be clear."

"I'm a virgin, ok?" I'm not that embarrassed, but everyone I know has had sex long before me. I just never felt the desire to. Probably because none of them was the man above me, who is now trying to untangle my legs from behind him. 

"I didn't know you were… didn't you have boyfriends?"

"Yeah but I've never done anything past boobs."

"Shit, Lil. I can't do this to you. I-"

"Do this to me?"

"Yeah, take your…" He gestures between my legs, still trying to wiggle his way out from between them. 

"I want you, though, Benny."

"I can't. Not when you haven't…you should do it with someone your age. You should've done it with a boyfriend-"

I let out a frustrated huff. "But none of them were you, Ben!"

He stops moving, his eyes studying my face. "What?"

Too late to not say anything now. "I.. ok, I've liked you for a really long time. Like, really liked you. I tried dating people my age but they all suck. None of them were you. I guess I've been waiting, hoping you'd feel the same. But I won't force-"

"You waited for me?"

I nod, suddenly unable to look at him, my cheeks on fire. "I hoped one day I'd have the courage to tell you how I felt. Or something. I knew it was a long shot. I mean, look at me. I'm… me."

His eyes soften, looking down my body and back up to my eyes. "You say that like it's a bad thing. You're fucking gorgeous, Lil. And..I'd be lying if I said I never thought about us. But me? Why would you want anything to do with me?"

I muster up the courage to look him in the eyes. "Because you make me feel seen. Like I matter. That I'm not just some piece of ass."

"I've been through some major shit, Lil."

I reach up, my hand caressing his cheek, fingers scratching at the stubble. "I want that too. I want all of you, Benny. I want you."

His lips press to mine again, urgent, desperate, his large hand pressed on the side of my neck, the other bracing him. He breaks the kiss for just a moment, pulling back enough to make sure I'm looking at him. 

"Are you sure, Lil? This isn't a small thing, even if you weren't a virgin."

"I am so unbelievably sure, Benny. Please just, show me. Make me feel good."

He smiles at me, his eyes darkening with a glint. “I’m about to ruin you for other men, sweetheart. But not here."

My brows furrow together. "What?"

He taps my thigh to get me to unlock my legs. I do and he stands, stretching briefly before he extends a hand to me, helping me up off the couch. He tips my head up, hooking my chin with his finger, pressing his lips to mine, his other hand coming up to lightly pinch my nipple. I gasp at the sensation, arching slightly into his palm. Then he stands straight, holding his hand out to me, giving me one last chance to stop things. I lace my fingers with his, my hand feeling small in his large one and he smiles, walking me down the hallway to his bedroom.

Once inside, he pushes some things out of the way, and sits on the edge of the bed. He beckons me over and I stand between his outstretched legs. He pulls one of my boobs in his mouth and I moan, heat and wet pooling between my thighs as he kisses his way down to my skirt line. He pauses, eyes turned up to mine, as his hand gently glides up my inner thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind it. Once he reaches my panties, he stops, barely brushing a finger over my clothed clit and I jolt, pleasure momentarily shooting out from where he touched me. 

"You're so fucking wet," he says with awe.

"Is..is that a good thing?"

He touches me again, grinning when I gasp out loud. "Such a good thing."

He pulls his hand from under my skirt, hooking his fingers into the waistband and pulls them down slowly, kissing the skin that appears as my skirt and panties slide down my legs. I kick them off, foot shoving them somewhere behind me as I stand there, completely bare in front of him. I'm nervous, hands automatically coming up to cover me, but he grips my wrists, holding them apart as his eyes slowly move over my body. 

"So fucking beautiful, Lil."

He switches places with me and tells me to lay back, scooting up the bed. He kicks off his pants but leaves his boxers on, which do nothing to hide the tent in his pants. My eyes grow wide. Are all men that large? He crawls over my body, slotting himself between my legs, kissing me deeply for several minutes. My legs wrap around him, feeling him hot and heavy against me. But then he's kissing a path down my body, scooting lower and lower until he's level with my pussy, pushing my legs apart further and putting his broad shoulders between them to hold them apart. 

"Fuck, you have a pretty little pussy. Can't believe no one has touched you here."

I don't respond, my head swimming with a whirl of emotions, mostly nerves and how bad I want him to touch me, push himself inside of me. I want-

"Oh!" A cry erupts from me, my thighs clamping around the side of Benny's head as his tongue makes contact with me, licking a line up me before he taps at my clit. "Oh, God, Benny!" My fingers tangle in his hair, tugging on him and holding him in place as he laps at me, gliding his nose up my seam before I feel him press a finger to my entrance, rubbing small circles there. I can hear how wet I am, my other hand flying out to grip the sheets as he pushes his finger in slowly. 

"Fuck you are so tight, Lil."

He slowly moves his finger in and out of me, my body warming quickly before he adds a second finger, this time tapping around inside of me. He hits some spot and I yell, thighs banging against his head again.

"There it is," he smirks, his fingers rubbing and tapping at that spot as his mouth returns to my pussy, licking and sucking. I feel tingles, all over my body, racing towards where he's touching me and then I explode, my head pushing into the bed, thighs tensing as I pulse around him, whining and moaning as I come. Benny guides me through it, making sure I feel every ounce of pleasure I possibly can.

And then he does it two more times. 

My entire body is warm and loose, my brain swimming with the pleasure of it all as Benny removes his mouth from me, wiping his face on the back of his hand, grinning ear to ear as he hovers over me, tasting of me as he presses his lips to mine. 

"You feelin' good, sweetheart?"

"Mmhmm."

Benny chuckles. "Do you want me to stop?"

My eyes fly open as I find his. "No. Please I need you inside of me."

He nods. "I think you're ready for me. But stop me if it hurts or you want me to stop, ok?"

"Ok."

He scoots back off the bed, standing and pulling his boxers off. He springs up and holy shit is that supposed to go in me? He settles between my legs, pushing my thighs apart, sliding himself through my soaked folds and I whimper at his touch. He's heavy at my entrance, his eyes on my face as he slowly pushes in. 

"Oh!" Is about all I can say. It burns for sure, and is uncomfortable, but not painful. And as he pushes further in, I feel him rub up against that spot he made sensitive with his fingers moments before. My fingers dig into his biceps, his muscles strong beneath my nails as he slowly slides back out. 

“Are you ok?” He asks, his eyebrows pulled together in concern. 

“I will be once you’re back inside of me.”

“Fuck you’re gonna kill me.” 

He pushes back into me, still slowly but a little faster this time. When he can go no further, he waits, holding his hips still to give me a moment. I feel so full of him, my head swimming with his scent while I relax and stretch around him. He must feel the tension leaving me, as he pulls back out and pushes back in, more quickly. After about 5 more of these, he pushes in rather quick and I yelp as he hits a spot at the back of me. 

“Fuck! Do that again!”

He smiles, one side of his mouth pulling up as he complies, thrusting into me harder and chuckling when he hears the breathy sounds coming from me. He keeps going, making sure to angle himself to thrust into that spot every time, eventually speeding up more, rutting into me as I come unglued beneath him, writhing and moving my hips to meet his, my vision going hazy at the edges as my body tingles and I come, nails digging into him as I chant his name over and over. Benny grunts and pulls out, spilling himself across my lower stomach, little breathy grunts coming from him as he comes. 

He takes a second when he’s done before getting up and grabbing a wet cloth from the bathroom. He cleans me up and returns with another cloth, wiping my overstimulated cunt, and chuckling when my legs twitch. He tosses the rag in his hamper and crawls on the bed next to me, pulling the sheet over us. Benny props himself up on his elbow, his finger tracing lines down my chest before using a finger to turn my head to him. 

“How are you feeling, Lil?”

I sigh, feeling the corners of my mouth pull into a soft smile. “Honestly? I’ve never felt better.”

He presses his lips lightly to mine. “The best you’ve ever felt, huh?”

I nod, turning on my side to face him. “You were right though. You’ve ruined other men for me. Good thing I only want one man.”

—----

A yell rips me from sleep and I sit up quick, my head rushing slightly as I look around the unfamiliar room, blinking a few times before remembering I was still at Benny’s. In his bed. A whimper echoes in the dark space and I look down, seeing Benny tangled in his sheets, curled up and sweating, eyes jammed shut and his mouth muttering words I can’t catch all of. I may have never seen it on Benny, but I am familiar with the nightmares. My dad has them all the time, one of the many reasons why I’m studying to be a psychiatrist and intend to reform the VA mental health unit. 

I gently place my hand on his bare shoulder, his skin warm and sweaty under my palm. “Benny, it’s ok. You’re here. I’m here.”

He whimpers once more before his eyes pop open, wet with unshed tears and he gasps, hand reaching out for something I can’t see. He blinks and turns his head, seeing my hand on his shoulder and he follows it up to my face.

“Lily?”

I smile. “Hey, Ben. Are you with me?”

“I…” he pulls his shoulder from me and sits up, pulling the blankets around his waist. “I’m sorry.” He’s wiping at his face, trying to push the tears away. “Just lock the door on your way out.”

“What?”

“When you leave, just take the key and lock the door. Slide it under the mat.”

“I don’t…I don’t understand? You’re kicking me out?”

“You want to leave, right?”

“No? Why would I?”

“Because I’m fucked up! I told you, Lil. I have so much shit with me. No one wants this.” 

“Ben. Look at me.”

He shakes his head. "I can't. Just.. lock the door on your way out."

"Ben-"

"I can't. I can't see that look on your face too, I just can't, Lily."

"Ben, please look at me." 

He sighs and turns his head, a hard expression on his face and I see it, all the hurt he’s had to endure from the women before me leaving him once his guard slipped. And I want to fight them all. I take his hand, lacing my fingers through his and bring it to my lips, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. 

“Benjamin Miller, unless you kick me out, I’m not going anywhere.”

His eyes water a little and he shakes his head to stop them. “But, the nightmares-”

“You think this is the first time I’ve seen a nightmare? Do you not remember who my dad is?”

“Fish gets nightmares too?”

I nod. “All the fucking time, Ben. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked him down. Why do you think I’m going into psych?”

“You’re…you’re really not wanting to leave?”

“No. I’d really rather stay here with you, make sure you’re ok, wake up next to you. As long as you’ll have me?”

He squeezes my hand and presses his forehead to mine. “I’d love that.”

I lay back and beckon him to me, placing his head on my chest as he cuddles into my side. He sucks one of my boobs in his mouth, claiming it’s his comfort toy. But soon after he’s sound asleep, his face peaceful and he doesn’t wake the rest of the night.

He brings me home the next day and I wave to him from the front steps as I walk through the front door. 

“She’s alive!”

“Ha-ha, dad. But I’m doing fine.”

“Was that Benny I saw dropping you off?”

“Oh. Yeah. He was at the bar last night.”

“And he brought you home this morning?”

I nod, kicking off my shoes. “Yeah. I was pretty drunk and my friends still wanted to party. His place was closest to the bar and I asked him to take me there. Didn’t think I could make it home.” I mimed throwing up, which is exactly what I wanted to do. I hate lying to him. 

“You could’ve called me. I would’ve picked you up.”

“I know. But Benny was already there. No sense in waking you up.”

“You know I don’t sleep.”

“Which is why you’re always so fun to be around.”

He looks fake hurt, pressing his hand to his chest. “I am a damn delight….but I’ll have to thank Benny for taking such good care of you.”

I hide my smirk before replying. “Please do.”

—----

The next few months pass and we keep us a secret, going on dates in the next towns over, meeting up whenever we can. I feel bad for lying to my dad and not telling him, but it’s not the right time. 

Benny is everything I thought he was and more. He makes me laugh, even cracking jokes as he’s pressed between my thighs. He makes me feel safe and I think I make him feel safer too. His nightmares, while still present, seem to happen less often, his body relaxing into mine as he sleeps deeply. 

Then there’s the sex. Oh God the sex. I know I have nothing to compare it to, but the way my friends talk about it, it seems like it’s often a chore. They talk about faking orgasms or men that are only concerned about themselves. Not Benny. He says he loves the sounds I make as he pulls orgasm after orgasm out of me, pressing his body against and into mine against every surface of his house and his jeep, anywhere we can get away with it.  

About 6 months in, it’s our turn to host the monthly BBQ for all the boys. Will usually brings his wife and kids, Santi just himself, and Tom brings his family, so it’s a pretty big to do. I remember at BBQ’s in the past, sometimes Benny would show up with some girl and how jealous I was of her. And this time, I’m still jealous, because they got to be with him in the open. No passing touches or whispers, no hiding glances or anything. But I’m feeling bold, so I put on my favorite sundress, the one Benny had hitched up around my hips as he bent me over his kitchen table the last time we were together. And judging by the look on his face, he too has this same memory when he sees me in the dress. 

Everyone is outside, the kids screaming and running around, everyone else chatting, keeping an eye on the kids as my dad starts grilling. I feel Benny’s eyes on me as I set a few bowls of chips on the table, bending over just a little more than normal to expose more of my cleavage to him. I glance up at him and wink, turning and heading back into the house. I hear him come in behind me a couple minutes later, his eyes on me standing in the doorway to the hall. He silently follows me upstairs to my room, closing the door behind us and locking it before taking 2 steps towards me, pulling me to him and kissing me deeply. His hands fist in the sides of my dress, pulling it up higher on my hips. 

“You think you’re so slick wearing this dress?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

I pull him down on me, parting my thighs to let him settle between them as my back settles into my bed. My fingers twist in his hair, his hand trailing up my bare thigh as I whimper in his ear. 

“Wanna fuck in my bed. We haven’t done that yet.”

“Your dad’s outside.”

“So?”

“So what if he hears us?”

“I’ll deal with that then. Please fuck me Benny. I need you to fuck me.”

And so he does, pushing my panties aside and thrusting into me, one hand clamped over my mouth. I try to push him into me more, my hands gripping his ass, digging little marks into it when I come, legs spasming as Benny’s moans come right after, his hips rutting into mine as he fills me up. 

“Let me get something to clean you up with.”

“Don’t. I want to feel you inside me.”

“Fuckin’ hell you’re gonna kill me.”

—----

My chest heaves as Benny rolls off me and lays on his side, trying to catch his own breath. He slides his hand across my body and gently squeezes one of my boobs, his thumb grazing over my nipple. 

“You can’t possibly want to go again?” I ask, eyebrows raised. 

“What? This is my emotional support tiddy.”

Laughter erupts from me and Benny joins in, his smile making me feel warm all over. This is nice, this is comfortable. Benny makes everything in my life good. 

“You hungry? We did miss our dinner reservations.”

I chuckle. “Totally worth missing them.”

Benny props himself up on his elbow, his hand leaving my boob to start sliding down my bare stomach. “Oh I agre-”

GROWL! 

My stomach has decided enough is enough and the sound it makes is loud in the quiet room. Benny laughs again, his head flying back with it before he brings his lips to my stomach, speaking to it.

“You hungry, girl? Should we get some food in ya?”

I ruffle his hair and he turns, his cheek resting on my stomach as his eyes meet mine. We stare at each other for a few moments before he chuckles. “Your stomach is so loud.”

“Ok, fine. I’m hungry,” I smile.

He sits up, giving me a quick kiss before rolling off the bed. “I’ll go make us something. You can shower if you’d like. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.” He leaves the room, sliding some pants on before he does. I make my way to his bathroom across the hall and take in my appearance, fixing my hair so it’s not too wild before sliding one of his shirts on. I make my way down the hall and stand in the entrance to the kitchen, watching Benny move about the kitchen, no shirt and sweatpants hanging low on his hips. He tosses a kitchen towel over his shoulder as he flips a pancake, one of his specialties, humming to himself as he does. His hair is sticking up at all angles, looking like he’d just rolled around in bed for hours. Which I guess, technically, he did. I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist, kissing his back before resting my cheek against it. 

“You want strawberries or chocolate chips in yours, Lil?”

“Do I have to pick?”

He pauses for a moment. “Shit, why did I never think to combine those?” He adds both cut up strawberries and chocolate chips to his mix, pouring out another round of batter on the griddle. “I may have to steal one.”

“I’ll fight you for it.”

He slides the pancake off the spatula and spins, gripping my wrists before I can move. “I’d like to see- are you in my shirt?”

“Mmhmm.”

He drops my wrists and slides his hands around my hips, feeling for something. “Are you..are you not wearing any underwear?”

“How else am I supposed to feel you dripping down my legs?” Benny groans, gripping my jaw and pulling me in for a heated kiss, but the sound of a key jiggling in his front door lock kills the mood. In one quick motion, Benny is shoving me back through the doorway and down the hall, motioning for me to hide. I step into his room and close the door almost all the way just as the front door opens. 

“Hey, Ben.”

“Hey..Fish.”

The door closes and I feel the color drain from my face. My dad is here and almost walked in on us fucking in the kitchen. 

“Hope it’s ok I used my key? Normally you complain about having to get up and open the door.”

“No, no that’s fine. What, uh, what are you doing here?”

“Lil is at her friend’s studying this weekend so I thought we could watch the fight?”

“The fight?”

There’s a slight pause. “The big fight? Between Samson and Jueng?”

“Oh right. The fight. Yeah, I think the neighbors in 2B are having some kind of party.”

“That explains why the parking lot is slammed.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey listen, Frankie, I uh…I’m a little…” There’s a pause where Benny fumbles for words. 

“Oh shit, I should’ve called, Ben. I just got bored and I remembered you said you were staying in this weekend. Thought we could hang.”

“No, no. It’s uh, it’s ok. Did..did you want some pancakes?”

“For dinner?”

“I already made some.”

“Sure, sounds good. Bathroom useable?”

“It’s clean, fucker.”

Dad’s chuckle gets closer and I step away from the crack in the bedroom door, like he could see me through it. When I hear the bathroom door close, I yank on some pants and grab my shoes, tiptoe running down the hall and meet Benny at the door. 

“I’ll let you know when he leaves.”

I nod. “Sounds good. I still want pancakes.”

“Ok ok but you have to go now,” He’s practically pushing me out of the door, but just before it closes, he reaches out and grabs my arm, pulling me back and kissing me before letting me go, a smile as the door closes and I hear my dad’s voice coming back down the hall.  

That was close.

—----

Several weeks later, I decided to grab some dinner on my way to Benny’s, neither of us feeling much like cooking. I wait at the counter of the diner, studying the pie menu while our burgers cook. It’s hard to pick out pie for Benny because he loves them all. Even Rhubarb. I decide on a slice of apple and a slice of buttermilk pie, placing the order with the waitress.

“No pecan?”

I jump, my head jerking to look at my dad, leaning against the counter, menu in hand and looking at me. 

“Pecan?”

“You’re favorite?”

“Oh. Yeah I thought I’d try something new.”

He nods. “So, you weren’t going to tell your old man you were getting shitty food before coming home?”

“You’re here too.”

He laughs. “True.” His eyebrows furrow together as the waitress brings 2 large bags and reads off the order. I try to cut her off but she plows through, smiling at the end. 

“Anything else, dear?”

“N-no. I’m good.” She walks off and I can feel my dad’s eyes on me. 

“Hungry?”

“What?”

He nods towards the bags. “There’s enough food there for two. Especially with that last burger. Double cheese, double bacon, and extra pickles? That’s exactly what Benny orders so I know it’s entirely too much.”

I laugh nervously. “Uh yeah. That’s..that’s mine. Period.” He looks at me, understanding. 

“And the other burger?”

“Uh surprise! I was going to bring food home.”

He smiles and I feel terrible. “We must have been thinking the same thing. Thanks, mija. Need some help?”

“Sure.”

He takes the burger bag and I take the other, walking me over to my car. He waits for me to get in and hands me the bag. 

“See you at home!” 

When he’s turned away and solidly heading to his truck, I pull out my phone and send a quick text to Benny. 

Me: No burgers tonight. Dad came in. Had to tell him I was buying for us.

Benny Baby: Oh shit! Did he know?

Me: He recognized your order but nothing past that. I’m sorry! Can I come tomorrow?

Benny Baby: Oh I plan on making you come many times 

—----

It was a couple weeks before we could manage to see each other again and we wasted no time in making up for it. Benny pressed himself between my thighs over and over, pulling as many sounds from me as he could before I just couldn’t take anymore, completely over stimulated. Only then did we get dressed and head out to dinner across town, his arm wrapped around my shoulders as we walked into my favorite Italian restaurant, laughing and sharing breadstick puns as we waited for our food. After force feeding ourselves some dessert, we walked back around the building, Benny pushing me against the side of his jeep, slotting his leg between my thighs as he pushes his tongue in my mouth, my hands fisting in his shirt. I can feel him getting harder against me and I wonder how unoccupied this parking lot is or if I even care. 

“I thought that was you. You got a secret girlfriend?”

Benny freezes at his brother’s voice, pulling back slowly and looking into my eyes, fear and apologies swirling around in his baby blues. He tries his best to turn around without showing me, but the angle is weird and he can’t quite hide all of me, no matter how I try to angle myself. 

“Wait…Lily?” Will says, completely shocked. 

I sigh, stepping out from behind Benny. “It’s me.”

He’s not smiling, gripping the takeout bag he has in his hand a little tighter as he looks at Benny. “That’s Fish’s daughter, Ben.”

“I fuckin’ know, Will. Don’t you think I know?”

“You’re making out with Fish’s daughter. His daughter.” 

“Yeah. And you’re not gonna tell him.”

“Why the fuck shouldn’t I? You shouldn’t be fucking around - shit, are you fucking around with her?”

I feel Benny’s body tense and I gently lace my fingers through his, a motion that doesn’t go unnoticed by Will. 

“That’s Lily, Ben! You shouldn’t be…I gotta call Fish.”

Before he can move, I step in front of Benny and grip Will’s arm gently. He looks down at me, his grey blue eyes studying me as if he’s trying to see if I’ve been coerced. 

“Please don’t, Will. I promise we will tell him. Eventually.”

“Tell him what, exactly?”

I glance back at Benny, giving him a small smile before looking back at Will. “We’re together. I am the secret girlfriend and the reason he hasn’t been around as much.”

Will looks from me to Benny and back. “He put you up to this?”

“Hey fuck you, man!”

I put my hand up, touching Benny’s chest. “No. If anything, I convinced him.”

“You’re Fish’s daughter, Lil.”

“I’m aware.”

“One of our best friend’s daughters.”

“That’s me.”

“I don’t know, I…”

“Will… please? I promise we will tell him. We’ve just…been enjoying each other and seeing where this takes us.”

He cocks his head slightly. “So it’s really not just sex?”

I shake my head. “No.”

He looks between us again, looking like he’s doing some mental math. “Alright but only for you, Lil. Benny knows better. But you have to promise you’re gonna tell him.”

I nod. “Yes, of course. Thank you, Will.” I give him a hug and he returns it with one arm, the other still holding a heavy bag of take out. His eyes never leave Benny’s and I watch as they grow hard. 

“I love you, Ben. But if you hurt her, I’m not gonna hold back Fish.”

Benny nods. “That’s fair.”

—----

I love him. He tried telling me I’d grow out of him, but I didn’t. If anything I fell more in love with him as time went on. Benny let his final walls down, telling me how much he loves me, how I accept him, all of him, and how he thought he’d never find that. I don’t know how we made it 8 months without telling anyone or anyone figuring it out, aside from Will. 

It wasn’t until my dad came home early, finding Benny and me making out on the couch that I remembered why we were keeping it a secret. Thank God he didn’t come home 2 minutes later. 

“What the fuck is this?” He slams the door behind him, the walls rattling and Benny and I spring apart, Benny jumping up as my dad storms towards him. “SHE’S MY DAUGHTER, BEN!” 

Benny has his hands out in a placating manner. “I know, but-”

“My daughter! She is not for you!”

“No, but-”

Anger rises up from my chest. “You have no say over who I get with!”

He looks at me, his dark eyes fuming. “I do when it’s my best friend and my daughter! You’re only 21, Lily!”

“So? I am not some thing you can pass around! My life is my own! I can date and fuck whomever I want!”

His eyes go wide, cheeks flushing with built up anger as he turns his rage towards Benny. “Wait…have you slept with her?”

“Wh-what?”

His voice raises, loud enough I know the neighbors are listening in. “Have you fucked my daughter, Ben?”

The color drains from Benny’s face. “Let’s talk about thi-”

BAM! My dad’s fist collides with Benny’s face, his head flying back. Luckily, Benny knows how to take a punch, thanks to his days as an MMA fighter. He straightens up, dodging the next swing from my dad, his hands still up trying to placate him. 

“Dad!” I push past him and stand in front of Benny, turning his face towards me to inspect his lip, which is now bleeding, a dark circle starting to appear under his eye. I round on my dad.

“What the fuck dad?”

“Don’t dad me! You’ve been lying to me for months! Sleeping with Benny? He’s my best friend, Lily!”

“I know, but-”

“You just never stop to think about the consequences. What did you think was gonna happen? He’s 13 years older than you!”

“Yes, but-”

“He’s done some shit, but putting his hands on my daughter is the thing I’m gonna kill him for.”

“Ok, dad. Kitchen. Now. Benny? First aid kit in the bathroom.” I push on my dad’s chest, willing him to move. He glares over my shoulder at Benny as he moves into the kitchen, but doesn’t sit. 

“What the fuck, Lily?”

“I know, but let me explain.”

“Benny?”

“I love him, dad.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, his other hand on his hip in his typical dad pose. “I know you think you love him mija, but it’s just infatuation. You’re young.”

“Do you remember a few years ago, you asked me why I had boyfriends but none of them seemed to stick? And I told you I didn’t like them or want any of them?”

He thinks for a moment. “Yeah.”

“What did I say after that?”

“I said maybe you haven’t found the right person and you said no it’s because…” I raise my eyebrows at him until he continues. “...because you were in love with someone else.”

“You told me to go for it and I said I couldn’t because there’s no way he likes me the same way and it would be complicated.”

His shoulders slump, a little bit of the anger seeping from him. “Benny?”

“Benny.”

“How do you know he feels the same way?”

“Didn’t you tell me a few months ago how good he looks? That he said he was seeing someone but wasn’t ready to bring her around everyone yet? But that he hasn’t looked this happy in the entire time you’ve known him?”

“Fuck. It was you?”

“Me. We love each other, dad. We have for years, but didn’t say it until my birthday.”

“Wait. You told me Benny let you stay over because you were drunk. Did he-”

“No. I barely drank. My friends ditched me and he saw me. We went for dinner and then back to his place where..confessions were made.”

“You lied to me?”

“You didn’t ask me if I slept with him, dad.”

“Dammit. I hate when you’re right.” 

“Are…are we going to be ok?”

He pulls me to him in a bear hug, kissing the top of my head. “I’ll always love you, mija. But your boyfriend I may have to warm up to. God that feels weird to say.”

Benny pokes his head around the corner. “Is it safe?”

Dad turns his head to him, hugging me tighter. “I haven’t decided if I want to kill you yet.”

“Well while you’re deciding, can I just say how much I love her? She’s smart and funny, and she makes the world bright again. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“You’re damn right she is. So what if I told you I don’t want you dating her?”

“Dad-”

“Sshh. I’m asking him.”

“With all due respect, Fish. I’d tell you to go fuck yourself and date her anyway. I love you, you’re my best friend, but she’s the one for me and I won’t let anything come between us unless she wants it to.”

He lets me go and stomps up to Benny, who is a few inches taller than him. He glares up at him for a few moments before extending his hand out. 

“Ok.”

“Ok?"

“Just do me a favor and don’t kiss in front of me?”

“Deal.”

“Speak for yourself, Ben. I plan on making out with you whenever I can.”

A year later we’re married, both of us eternally grateful for my friends ditching me on my birthday that night.

—----

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[vanemando15]

Requests are open?! How about enemies to lovers “would falling in love with me be so terrible” with the Pedro boy of your choosing? Please and thank you ☺️

Your Sunshine

Pairing: Marcus Pike x f!agent reader

Word Count: 6200+ (whoops)

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: This took me so long to figure out a character because I feel like some of Pedro’s characters with the enemies to lovers trope has been done a lot. I thought of Pike first and couldn’t come up with ways to hate him, so I bounced some ideas off of @astoryisaloveaffair and we came up with a whole separate fic with chapters with another Pedro boy, so I came back to Marcus for this ask. Thanks to @vanemando15 for giving me ideas as to how to be enemies with Pike!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

Main Masterlist

Marcus Pike Masterlist

—----

“Is this going to be a problem, Agent?”

You put on a strained smile, speaking through gritted teeth. “Of course not, sir. When do I report to..him?”

He shuffles the file papers, checking a date. “Mmm it looks like you’ll report to Agent Pike this Friday.”

“Friday? As in tomorrow?”

“Ah, yes. I suppose it is tomorrow. Make sure to keep your receipts to turn into HR. Agent Pike will give you details on your living arrangements.”

“Great. I can’t wait.” You stand and cross to the door, closing it behind you in the most professional way you can muster.

Your boss had given you the rest of the day to gather some of your personal things, your flight leaving first thing in the morning. The job is great but sometimes the schedule sucks - it makes it hard to make and keep relationships, whether friends or more, which is probably why you’ve remained single. Not that you hadn’t dated, but it was hard to keep someone when you would have to randomly move across the country for several months at a time.

At home, you roll clothes into your suitcases, packing 2 since you’ll be living in DC for the length of the case, which could easily be several months.

Marcus fucking Pike. Just thinking about him sets your teeth on edge. The golden boy of the FBI, Agent Pike had been insufferable. Sure he was smart, agile, had great aim, could fight well, and ok fine, he was easy on the eyes, but that just made it worse. He never had to fight past the glass ceiling, people rolling their eyes at you when you made requests, simply based on the fact you’re a woman. You’d assumed in this day and age that sexism would be at least more covert in a respectable agency like the FBI, but you were proven wrong on your first day at the academy. You had solved the fake case, presented your argument for why person A was the guilty party and here comes Marcus, presenting the exact same case but getting top marks simply because he’s a man. The instructor was an older agent and he was set in his ways, always looking for something to nit pick on you for and, it seemed, trying to get you to quit, which only made you dig your heels in further.

That same day, you had pulled Marcus aside and asked him his reasoning on the case. He explained and to your surprise, he’d had the same thought pattern as you. But when you asked him why he thought that you got a significantly lower grade than him, he simply said “Be faster next time.” As if the professor didn’t just randomly pick students.

At every turn, Marcus was there trying to one-up you, knowing that it got under your skin. You supposed it pushed you to become a better agent, always trying to be one step ahead. But that damn glass wall was hard and unyielding at times and you would see Marcus sail right on past it, grin on his face as all the other women would fawn over him, potential agent or no.

The smirk on his face when he would come out on top made you want to punch him, but you’d worked too hard to get this far to let some man ruin it for you. When he picked art as his special concentration, you could swear that he did it just to spite you, as if he wanted nothing more in life than to follow you around annoying the shit out of you, gliding through his life and being handed things on a silver platter.

So when you’d graduated, Marcus went to Texas? Southern California? You didn’t care - you’d gone straight to Seattle, loving the Pacific Northwest weather. Not to mention the view - mountains were something you’d loved, and seeing them daily with the occasional sighting of your beloved orca whales in Puget Sound? You couldn’t imagine leaving here permanently.

Sighing as you throw the last of the things you’d need to take with you into your suitcase, you decide to head down to Pike Place and get a drink, maybe stare out at the Sound before it gets too dark - your flight leaves too early in the morning and you’ll miss it then.

As the sun sets over the cold waters of Puget Sound, you think about how you’re going to work with Marcus fucking Pike of all agents. You groan and slide your hands over your face before heading home, telling yourself to get a good amount of sleep before tomorrow - you at least need to look good when meeting Pike.

—----

A car had been waiting for you when you left the airport, bringing you to an average hotel not too far from the office. An email sent to you by HR had said they were putting you up for a few days while your new place was being cleaned and that a car would be issued to you when the apartment was ready. Dropping off your bags, you call an Uber and head to work, eager to meet the team but dreading having to see Pike. Better get it over with.

The receptionist directed you to the floor of the art division and you noticed it was practically the basement. Patting down your clothes, the elevator doors open and you step out, turning your head left and right to figure out where you should go.

“Well well well.. It’s Agent Sunshine.”

You stiffen, the voice, calling out your ironic nickname comes from behind you. Slapping on a forced smile, you turn to speak to Marcus.

“Agent Pike.”

He has the audacity to smile at you, a genuine smile as he walks up and sticks his hand out. You glance down at it for a moment before shaking it, thinking it was the more professional route. Why are his hands so warm?

“Welcome to D.C. I take it you’ve been checked into the hotel?”

“I have.”

“Sorry about that - the unit we’ve acquired for you needed some minor repairs and it’s not quite finished. Should have you there in a few days. I hope that’s ok?”

“It’s what it is. It’ll be fine.”

His chocolate eyes scan yours and you’d forgotten how much annoying eye contact this man gives you.

“Come. I’ll show you to your desk.”

You follow Marcus down the hall and into another, passing multiple doors and glass office walls before heading through another locked door. “Your id will get you through here,” Marcus tosses over his shoulder. He leads you to a small office with 2 desks in it facing each other. He gestures to the empty one.

“Home sweet home.”

You set your bag down and take stock - generic desk, fully stocked of office supplies, and a computer. You’ll bring in a plant or something tomorrow to make it more you.

“And who am I sharing with?”

Marcus rubs the back of his neck and his eyes shift around the room nervously.

“Uh, that would be me.”

“What?” The word escapes you before you can choke it back.

“There’s no space anywhere else so I had them move your desk into my office.”

“Wait…this is your office?”

“It is.”

“I can find somewhere else for my desk.”

He shakes his head. “There’s not a lot of space down here. It’s fine, Sunshine, really.”

“Don’t call me that.”

He smiles. “There it is! The Sunshine smile.”

You roll your eyes and sit in your chair, adjusting it to your height.

“They stuck you all the way in the basement, huh? Did we pass Mulder’s office on the way in?”

He glares playfully at you. “Just when I thought I might have missed you, you open your mouth.”

“So we did pass his office then?” You smirk as he all but sticks his tongue out at you.

“Ha-ha. Come on, let me show you around.”

“Will I need to change into walking shoes? There’s just so much distance between us and the rest of the building.”

“I’d say it keeps the riff raff out but, here you are.”

“Who says riff raff anymore?”

He chuckles as he leads you from the office and shows you around the floor. There’s only a couple more tiny rooms with some desks and files crammed inside and one smallish meeting room, more filing cabinets stacked around the edges.

“Did they cram all the files down here?” You ask.

“Most of them are ours. Although I’ve seen people from the upper floors come to get a file now and again so you may be right.”

There’s also a tiny kitchen several steps from the bathrooms that houses a small microwave and a refrigerator, a coffee pot sitting on the counter next to the sink. Your eyes fall on an electric kettle and you point to it.

“There’s other tea drinkers in here besides me?”

He doesn’t quite meet your eyes when he mumbles. “No, just you.”

You look back at the kettle and realize it’s brand new - he must have bought it specifically for you then.

“Don’t think I won’t give you crap just because you got me a kettle.”

“If you didn’t give me crap, I’d know you were possessed.”

He glances at his watch. “Come on - I’ve got a small meeting planned to introduce you to everyone.”

“Do I get to meet Mulder?”

“Only if you’re a good girl.”

What the fuck did he just say? And why did my thighs clench together when he did?

He leads you back to the conference room and there’s already a couple people in it, milling about. When you both enter, they turn and Marcus introduces you. They shake your hand, excited to meet the Agent from Seattle.

Pleasantries done, Marcus reviews the case. Four paintings stolen from a rich couple's home. No security tripped, the guards saw nothing, hell even the dogs outside didn’t get a scent of anything out of place.

“Was anything else missing?” You ask.

“Not that the owners are aware of. We’ve been over every inch of that house for the last 3 months. Nothing is off or missing.”

“Do you have the photos?”

“Yeah I’ll get them to you.”

The meeting concluded and you followed Marcus back to your joint (ugh) office. He shifts some folders out of his way and logs onto his computer.

“Sent.”

“Thanks.”

“Wow - so she does have manners.”

Glaring at him over the top of your monitor, you open the email from Marcus and start scanning through the photos. Typical rich people's house, everything pristine and clean looking, white marble and furniture with paintings placed in minimalist spots. A couple hours pass before either of you speak.

“This case has been open for 3 months, right?”

“That’s right.”

Squinting at the photo on the screen, you ask “And you thoroughly inspected the entire home?”

“We did, yes.”

“No. Did you inspect it?”

He cocks his head, pushing back in his chair and crossing his arms. “ I did. Why?”

“Did anything feel…off?”

“The house felt cold, but that was more about the decorative style I think-”

“Agent Pike-”

“Ok, ok. Nothing stood out to me but I have been feeling like it’s something right in front of us. I mean it’s obvious it was an inside job but..”

“Do you think they’d let me in to look for myself?”

“Think you can solve this case before me?”

“It’s not about that, Agent Pike. It’s about getting answers.”

He studies your face for a moment. “I’ll give them a call.”

—----

A week later, you’re carefully walking around the house, looking at quite literally everything as the owners were practically breathing down your neck, reminding you that agents had already done this and where was that handsome agent at? Could he come back?

Fighting back the desire to roll your eyes, you turn back to them and reply. “Agent Pike will be here shortly.”

“He’s so handsome, don’t you think?” One of them asks.

“Yeah, sure. He’s great.”

“Who’s great?” Marcus had come walking up at that exact moment of course.

“Not you.”

The owners exchanged smirks, looking from you to Marcus before bombarding him with the same questions they had been asking you. You continue your walk around the home, admiring the paintings that were still up, taking note of which ones they were. Something felt off to you about them but you couldn’t quite place it. Marcus comes up behind you and speaks into your ear.

“That wife has it in for me, I swear.”

“If you’d let her, she’d probably fuck you on the table right in front of her husband.”

“Yeah well I’m not into that.”

“What, fucking on tables?”

“Fucking married women unless it’s my own wife. I have no problems fucking on tables though.”

That feeling from before comes back and heat rushes between your thighs and your brain presents an image to you, unwanted, of Marcus pushing you over the table and having his way with you.

“Sunshine?”

“Hhmm? Oh sorry. Was just thinking..about the case.”

“Riiiiight.”

—----

The next several weeks pass and you spend your days in front of your computer screen, studying the photos of the house, the blueprints, the testimonies from everyone inside. Marcus was trying to annoy you, you were convinced of it. Smirking and strutting around, chewing loudly and calling you Sunshine when you told him to shut it. But even he was getting irritated around the edges with this case. You could see he was getting frustrated at not cracking the case.

One day, you slam your hand down on your desk.

“Ugh! I feel like I’m going cross-eyed staring at this thing!”

Marcus looks at you and hesitates a moment before he speaks.

“Come on. Break time.”

“Marcus, we can’t. We have to work-”

“We’re no good if we lose focus. Even Miss Perfect Agent Sunshine.”

“God, I’d thought I’d gotten away from you and your perky attitude.”

“And I thought I’d never have to see your sunny face again but, here we are. Now follow me.”

Scoffing, you stand and stretch, following Marcus down the hall and through another 2 sets of locked doors. When he opens the last one, you audibly gasp. Inside this room are several small rows of paintings, some stored and some on easels, a couple of people touching them up.

“You’ve been holding out on me, Marcus.”

“Had to make sure you earned it.”

You walk around and look at each one, your eyes growing wider as you recognize each one.

“This..ok this is pretty cool.”

“Don’t you have something like this in Seattle?”

You shake your head. “No. That’s in a whole separate building. We don’t see the paintings after they literally leave our hands.”

“Oh. That..sucks.”

You move around the back of the room, looking at some of the smaller paintings. One of them at the back, nearly buried behind the others catches your eye. Or rather, the corner of the painting does. You dig it out and stare down at it, your jaw dropping open.

“Marcus.”

Marcus rushes over and looks at you. “What’s up?”

“It’s a fake. They’re all fakes.”

“No, these are all very real. They’re vetted-”

You shake your head. “No. The ones in the home. They’re all fake. That’s what was off about them.”

Marcus’s eyes go wide. “Shit. Come on. Leave that here.”

You move the painting back where it was and quickly follow Marcus out of the room, practically running to your office. Pulling up the photos of the house, you click through them until you find it.

“There it is. It’s small and was in a back hallway.”

“Well fuck me. There it is.” Marcus places a hand on your desk and the other on the back of your chair and leans in to stare at the screen. “But do you think they know?”

“They..they might not. Look,” you shift in your seat a little as you click through to another painting. “This one here I must have stared at for half an hour. Something felt off. I bet it’s fake too.”

“Now the real question is - are they in on it or is someone stealing their paintings and replacing them with replicas?”

“I don’t know, but I bet you could get it out of the wife.”

“I already told you, fucking married women is not my thing. Unless it’s my own wife.”

“Did you find someone to marry you?” You ask, surprise in your tone.

Marcus looks down before standing up straight. “I thought I did. But I came to D.C. alone if that makes you happy.”

“Why would that make me happy?”

“I don’t know. You seem content with making my life miserable.”

You scoff. “Me? Make your life miserable? I think you’ll find it’s the other way around.”

Marcus meets your eyes, a quiet fire smoldering in them. “Ever since the academy, you’ve been on my ass-”

“I’ve been on your ass? Everywhere I turned there was the golden child. You could do no wrong.”

“I’m a damn good agent.”

“Yes, you are. But do you realize how privileged your training was?”

“I didn’t get special treatment. I took all the same tests as you.”

“Yes, Marcus. But our teacher was extremely sexist. Why do you think I never passed you despite performing at at least the same level as you? Why I had to work extra hard to get the things that were basically handed to you?”

“Hey! I had to work my ass off to get those grades. I stayed up late, I studied, I worked out, I practiced. All the same things you did.”

“Yes. And you’re a great agent, Marcus. But look back - every time you outdid me in something, was it because you were truly better or because you’re a man?”

“I-”

“And that first day, when I asked you about that scenario, and why I got a lower grade when we had nearly the exact same reasoning and answer? You just told me “Be faster next time.” I was hoping to find an ally, someone I could mentally spare with and collaborate with, but all you told me then was that you’re an asshole, Marcus Pike. You made my time at the academy so much harder because I was competing against the stigma of being a woman and you didn’t see that and just thought you were better than me. Maybe that’s why that woman didn’t marry you.”

The words left your mouth and you regretted them instantly. You may give him shit but that was a low blow.

“Marcus, I-”

“Forget it. I’ve gotta go make a call.”

It’s like all expression left him, his eyes are dead to you, despite a hint of hurt playing behind the facade. That little smile at the corner of his lips that used to drive you nuts was missing, and you just realized how much you needed that smile. But before you can say anything, he pushes past you and disappears down the hall and through the doors.

–

He returns a short bit later, the same non expression on his face as he enters the tiny office.

“I’ve set up a meeting with the owners. I need you to accompany me there as you were the agent who noticed the copy.”

“Of course. Marcus I-”

“Agent Pike.”

That was like a punch to your stomach. You knew you had crossed a line and you felt terrible about it.

“A-Agent Pike. I want to say I’m so-”

“We leave in 2 hours. I’ll meet you out front with the car.”

And with that, he leaves you alone in the office. You stayed there for about an hour, hoping he would return so you could barricade the door and make him listen to your apology, but he never came back. You get up to go to the kitchen, feeling a pang of guilt when you turn on the kettle.

“Hey Agent Sunshine! I hear you might have cracked this case!” One of the other agents had walked in, coffee mug in hand.

“Yeah, maybe? Agent Pike and I just need to check a few things first.”

“I hope you figured it out. We’ve been stumped for months. I’m glad Agent Pike requested you-”

“Wait. He requested me?”

“Yeah. Said you were the best agent in the academy. Really knew your art and that you worked in Seattle. He went on and on about how you really challenged him to try harder in the academy. That he probably owed you a lot of credit for the agent he is now.”

The kettle clicks off and you turn to pour the hot water in your mug.

“How much is he paying you to say that?”

The agent laughs. “Yeah he mentioned you both gave the other shit. Honestly, he probably thought you were flirting. Poor guy.” The agent sips from their mug. “You know why he’s here, right? In D.C.?”

“Uh no. I never thought to ask.”

“Well. He was dating this other agent back in Sacramento and she was basically using him to make this other guy jealous. She agreed to move to D.C. when he got this promotion and then just ditched him at the last minute.”

“Oh. How terrible.”

“Yeah. He was pretty torn up about it. You know, I don’t think he’s dated since.”

You nod, turning back to take the tea bag out of your mug when you realize you hadn’t put a bag in to begin with.

–

You meet Marcus out front and quietly get in the passenger seat. Once you buckle your seatbelt, he drives, following the GPS to the client’s house. About 5 minutes of total silence passes before you break.

“Marcus, I-”

“Agent. Pike.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine. You’ve said what you wanted to say. Now let’s get this case solved so you can get out of my office.”

You turn your head away from him, looking out the window as guilt swallows you up on the inside. You may have butted heads with him, but that didn’t mean he deserved such a low blow.

Marcus pulls up to the gate and is buzzed in, pulling up out front and parking. Quietly, you move to get out of the car but Marcus puts a hand out. You look up at him, another apology poised on your lips when he speaks.

“We don’t know the situation in there. If something feels wrong, make something up and tell me it reminds you of that case in Tahiti. I’ll do the same to you. Otherwise, follow my lead.”

There was no room for a question. “Yes, sir.”

Getting out of the car, Marcus takes the lead and knocks on the door. The wife answers, smile spreading rapidly across her face as she squeezes his arm.

“Agent Pike! We were so glad to hear from you!”

Managing to not roll your eyes, you follow Marcus inside, the wife waving at you and telling you to take a look around. Marcus stays with the wife for a bit, distracting her while you take the time to look at the original paintings on your tablet to compare to the ones before you on the wall.

After about 30 minutes, you see it - in the very bottom corner, there’s a tiny blue smudge on the painting in front of you that is definitely not on the original. The wife laughs extra loud at something Marcus must have said, so you move on to the next painting. After about 15 minutes, you spot a difference there too. You would need hours if not days to compare all of them, but if these were fakes, as was the one by the bathroom, it may be safe to assume they all are.

“Agent Pike? Could I borrow you for a moment?”

Marcus excuses himself and comes up next to you. “What’s up?”

“Having fun in there?”

“It’s for the case. I was distracting her for you.”

“Mmm. Anyway, these-” you point on your tablet at the three paintings “-remind me of that case in Tahiti.”

“Is it safe to assume the rest of the case would be the same?”

“I would say so, but I’d need time to confirm.”

“Nice work, Agent.”

No Sunshine. Fuck.

He spins on his heel and heads back to the living room where the wife was perched on the couch waiting for him. You followed him in and stood there a little awkwardly, feeling almost like a third wheel.

The husband comes in and sits near you, turning to strike up a conversation with you. It’s clear he’s trying to flirt but isn’t as good at it as his wife.

“So..were you always into art, agent?” The husband addresses you as he takes a sip from his drink.

“Yeah. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up but the art galleries near us were always free or donation based so we went a lot. My dad also used to paint, but just for himself.”

You could feel Marcus stare at you from the corner of his eye but remained engaged in conversation with the wife.

“You must be very good at spotting things in paintings, then.”

“I think that’s subjective depending on who’s looking at it.”

He smiles at you, his drink making him grow bold (or maybe it was his confidence), but he leans forward and places a hand on your exposed knee, having worn a pencil skirt to work today. You glance down at his hand before he speaks.

“You’re a very smart woman, you know.”

“Thank you.” You place your hand on top of his, squeezing it to remove it from your leg. But he misinterprets your move and turns his hand up to take yours.

“I’d like to show you my favorite one.” He gently pulls at your hand and you glance over at Marcus, whose jaw is set in a line, his entire body tense, despite feigning interest to whatever the wife was saying. He gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head but before you could make an excuse, the husband pulled you toward the hallway.

“It’s just through here.”

He pulls you down the hall and into his office, over to the opposite wall with a large painting on display. He stands next to you but doesn’t let go of your hand, speaking nearly into your ear with a low voice, the smell of a cigar wafting off his breath.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Mmm,” you reply, afraid to open your mouth or you might gag.

“There’s something not quite right about it.” He’s speaking nearly directly into your ear now.

“Oh?”

“Come now, Agent. You’re a beautiful, smart woman.” His voice lowers to a loud whisper. “I know you know they’re fake.”

You can’t reach for your gun as he has a hold of your hand, his grip tightening as he puts a hand to the back of your head and hits it against the painting in one swift movement. Falling, you see stars as you hit the ground, momentarily stunned as you reach for your forehead and feel wetness. Pulling it away, you see blood and hear a low laugh from the husband.

“Marcu-AAHH!” The husband yanks your hair and pulls you upright.

“Now now. None of that.”

You hear a gun fire in the living room and your heart stops. Not Marcus. Please, not him.

“We can’t have you messing up our operation. Someone cheated us and we thought we could play the FBI, using you to get the location of our missing paintings. Never thought there would be such an expert amongst you. It’s a shame to kill you, really. We could use you in our line of work.”

“Fuck you,” you manage to spit out, tasting blood as it trickles down from your forehead.

He laughs and throws you forward, your hands hitting the ground but slipping from sweat and blood. Before you can move, he grabs your legs and flips you around.

“I want to see the life leave your eyes.” He raises your own gun to you, having taken it when you hit the wall.

A shot fires and you close your eyes.

“Sunshine? Sunshine!”

It’s Marcus’s voice and he’s close. You open your eyes and find his, worry etched into every feature of his face.

“Am I..dead?” you ask and he smiles.

“No. I got them.”

You start to lift your head to see, but he puts a hand on your shoulder. “Let me take a look at your head.”

“You need to call this in.”

“First, I’m looking.”

You nod and lay down, Marcus’s fingers running across your skin and hairline. He takes off his shirt, leaving him in just an undershirt and you find yourself hoping he doesn’t notice the heat in your cheeks. He dabs away most of the blood after wetting the shirt from the sink in the bathroom. He studies the scrape and makes his prognosis.

“You’ll live. It won’t need stitches even. Follow my finger.” He moves his finger back and forth and you follow it with ease. “Not even a concussion. Although you’ll need to be checked out I think.”

“Thank you, Mar-Agent Pike.”

Before he can reply, agents storm the room - backup had arrived. Medics take you outside and Marcus follows, watching with concern as they clean up your head and place a small bandage on it. Marcus was right - no stitches and no concussion, although a slight headache warranted some pain killers.

After you give your reports, you head back to the office. Marcus argued with you at first, insisting you needed to go home and rest, but you had some things to take care of first. He follows you in and closes the door behind him. Before he can move to his desk, you turn to him and put a hand out to stop him.

“Wait. Mar-Agent Pike.”

He studies your face as you continue.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said..what I said. It was unprofessional, uncalled for, and just mean.”

“It’s ok-”

“No, it isn’t. It’s also not true. While what I said was true, you did annoy the shit out of me at the academy, you…you’re a nice guy, Marcus. I can see how you genuinely care about your coworkers and your job. And, well to be blunt, fuck that other chick. She doesn’t deserve you.”

He looks into your eyes. “Thank you, Sunshine. I-that means a lot.”

You nod and remove your hand, turning back to your desk. Marcus watches as you start to gather up your personal items.

“What are you doing?”

“Packing.”

“Why?”

“Well, the case is over. And last I heard from you, you wanted me out of your office.” You open drawers pulling out things to stuff into your oversized bag.

“You don’t have to go.”

“I do. The case is done.”

“You could..stay here?”

You scoff. “What, in D.C.?”

“With me.”

You turn and see the seriousness in his face. His eyes, normally a soft brown are blown wide, nearly black with…lust? Before you have time to question it, his eyes shift down to your lips and back up.

Fuck it. You can always leave if you’re wrong.

You surge forward, gripping handfuls of his shirt and pulling him to you, connecting your lips with his. To your surprise, his hand flies up to the back of your head and cradles it, the other winding around your lower back. His tongue coaxes your mouth open as he slides in, running his tongue over your bottom teeth. You moan and he moans back, feeling it vibrate between you.

Breaking apart, you look up at him, both of you breathing heavy as he pulls you back to him, both hands on your hips and pushing you back into your desk. One hand still cradling your back, his other finds the buttons on your shirt but he hesitates.

“Is this ok?”

“Fuck, yes Marcus, please," you pant out.

He smiles and asks you to brace yourself as he shows immense restraint in opening each button without simply ripping the shirt off. Once exposed, he leans forward and kisses the tops of your breasts, pulling one out of your black lace bra to suck on the nipple. Your fingers wind into his hair and you moan. He gives the same treatment to the other, loving how you move under him. He lets go with a plop and slides his hands down to your thighs. They find the hem of your skirt and stop.

“Is this ok?”

“Yes,” you pant out again.

His hands slowly slide up your thighs, pushing your legs apart as he goes, causing your skirt to ride up. When he sees your underwear, he stops.

“Black lace?”

“What, a girl can’t look nice for herself?”

His fingers stop just outside your underwear line and you huff.

“Is this ok?”

“Marcus, look at me.”

He’s on his knees between your spread legs, staring up at you with the biggest, doe eyes you’d ever seen on the man. You nearly forgot what you wanted to say.

“You have my consent to do whatever the fuck you want to do to me.”

He growls as his hands slide up further and pull down the top of your underwear, sliding them down and off your legs. Tossing them on the desk, he pushes your skirt up further and jams his shoulders between your legs, staring down at your dripping cunt.

“Never thought I’d see this side of you, Sunshine.”

Any reply you had turned into a cry as Marcus used his tongue on you, his nose leading the way as he slides through your folds and taps at your clit. A few moments pass before you feel his fingers join in, gathering up your rapidly growing arousal and circling your entrance. He pushes in one finger slowly and you moan out his name, your hand gripping the back of his head.

“Marcus,”

“Mmm?” he responds and you feel the vibrations throughout your pussy, fanning out to stimulate what feels like your entire body. He pushes another finger inside and starts to scissor them, listening to your pants of his name.

“Marcus I’m gonna…ugh!” Your head flies back as you come, covering his hand with you as your body lights up, your hands gripping the desk as you ride your orgasm. Once you come down, he pulls his fingers from you and you whine at the loss, the heat in your belly starting to grow again at the sight of him on his knees in front of you, your arousal glistening on his chin and face.

“Fuck you tasted exactly like Sunshine.”

“Marcus you…you…fuck.”

He chuckles and stands up between your spread legs, leaning over you to give you a kiss.

“That’s nothing, Sunshine.”

You hear the sound of a buckle being undone as he shifts his pants down. You feel the tip of him at your entrance and fuck is he thick, a drop of precum already dripping out. His voice lowers as he speaks.

“I’ve wanted to bend you over this desk for so long, but now I want to watch your face when I fuck you.”

He pushes in and your mouth drops open, a whimper coming out as you feel the burn of him stretching you. And fuck does it feel amazing.

“Oh shit, Sunshine. You feel..so fucking tight, fuck.” He bottoms out and rests his forehead on yours for a moment, letting you both catch your breath.

“Marcus?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t hold back. I won’t break.”

“Fuck!”

He does just that, pulling out to slam back into you as your desks rattle together, pens and papers rolling off as he thrusts. One of your hands braces you on the desk but the other moves to grip his arm, shoulder, back, anything that you can reach.

“Oh fuck, Marcus! Yes! Yes! There!” He had hit a spot inside you that you’d never felt before, at the very back of you. He responds immediately to your words and instead of pulling out, he stays in and deep thrusts, hitting that spot repeatedly, and you cry out his name with each thrust. Without warning, you come, crying out and feeling yourself drench him and leak out onto your skirt. Marcus chuckles as he continues to hit that spot, feeling you tremble under him, watching your face contort in pleasure as you cry out his name.

“That’s it. Fucking soak me, Sunshine.”

Once you come down, he picks his speed back up, ramming back into you several more times before his hips sputter. You choke out a strained “Inside” before he cries your name, spurting inside you as he thrusts haphazardly. He rests his head to your chest as you both breathe heavily for a few moments. He groans, standing up and pulling out as he looks around for something to clean you up with. Finding a roll of paper towels, he wets them with a water bottle and gently dabs at you, smirking as your muscles twitch with sensitivity. Once finished, he finishes adjusting his pants before he extends a hand to you and helps you stand.

“Marcus?”

“Yes, Sunshine?”

“I don’t want to stay in D.C.”

His face drops as he steps back. “Are you…serious?”

“I am. I don’t want to stay in D.C. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I love you, Marcus. I want to stay with you.”

His eyes grow wide as he starts to smile. “Would falling in love with me be so terrible?”

“Ugh, I suppose it would be tolerable. But wherever you go, I’m there. As long as you’ll have me?”

He pulls you to him, planting a loving kiss to your lips. “Oh I’ll have you…bent over this desk before we have to debrief.”

—----

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