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they should make a saluting emoji that looks tired. exhausted even. one that got to the airport at 3:30 AM perhaps. dare I say a saluting emoji that's about to stuck in an overnight layover in dallas. hypothetically!

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The intrepid heroes as muppets

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Maybe this therapy shit is working

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Lowkey whats the point

honestly ive stopped looking for some big revelation. ive just started saving up to buy pain au chocolat once a week and letting that be it for now

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are you ever like damnnnnnn why cant it be easier

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Lately I've been seeing stars.

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guy who invented western musical notation: so we're going 12 tones to an octave, named after letters of the alphabet. me: got it. A to L. inventor guy: that's not what i said

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getting big 45 minute vibes from this 15 minute recipe

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knight who is constantly searching for a good and noble king to serve but cannot fucking find one for the life of him so he has to become the good and noble king himself.

and now all these other knights are coming around like "please let me serve you" and like obviously hes going to let them serve him thats the point of being a good and noble king but its also. very annoying. one of you become the good and noble king for once lets trade

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during the work day my rage metre builds up, allowing me to unleash a powerful & ill advised special attack around 4pm

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Get to the airship!!

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the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

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Just found out I was thirsty not by receiving a signal from my body about it but by dozing off and dreaming about cold water from different alluring angles. This is great. I think all my wants and needs should be revealed to me this way

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do you think the Horse ever gets jealous of the Dog's status as "Man's best friend". do you think the Horse is ever like. hey. you domesticated me too. you rode me into battle. i ate food out of your hand and you giggled. are we not besties i thought we were besties