vanillamatchadove

[vanillamatchadove]

ooooh fuck it im gonna rant abt it here. i wish that i could write a good sex scene because i feel like the current yuka.eso fic of mine would make more sense thematically with them fucking instead of making out. sex is the most clean example of human desire. it's something most humans desire (not implying all do) but the mere thought of having/wanting sex is seen as unnatural and perverted. (from a religious perspective, anyway.) blah blah blah spoilers here that have a lot of context needed that i dont want to put down, I DO NOT WANT TO WRITE THIS SCENE bc yes i wanna see yuka and esora get it on, but that involves me disassociating for who knows how long because the Religious Guilt will get me. also researching on lesbian sex. just watching gay people do normal couple things is hard enough, imagine me trying to research sex. that's gonna lead me into deathville. ANYWAY i also want to write this scene because it will work w how both of them have been suppressing their feelings and thinking about how they speak and act for so long it culminates into something seen as selfish and perverted, especially with esora's situation in the fic. but!!! to them, it's so special. who cares what others think of them? what matters is what they want and what they want is each other. what they're doing is "dirty" and "perverted" but who cares? they've been trying to look so well-put together, they forget to be imperfect is to be human. and what they're doing -- having sex impulsively without care for the consequences -- is a human desire after what they've been through. idk, i think im just stressed out from school.

[vanillamatchadove]

HEY. SO. BEAR W ME. im doing it on this blog bc.... erm. i havent yelled here in a while.

SCRATCH MY OLD AU (not really) these two, same universe, okay? becuase. abeuvkijvdsjsa./ maybe yuka and shino can switch places in the au bc I NEED THE FUCKIN-- "needy" (she just wants to test yuka's limits--) rich girl x bodyguard that goes a long w it bc theyre smitten dynamic, OKAY!?!? and and it'd be sooooo interesting if the reason why was bc-- like what misc said in their version for the au -- yuka could've been hired to not only be a, yk, bodyguard but to also watch out for the people that peaky are trying to catch!! yayayayayayyayayayay. ALSO! kyoko's groovyfes card (not pictured) can also work guys..... bc. she looks more like she's matching w yuka and they can be a duo of "thieves or something and shinobu's the Guy In The Chair. yeah.

(imagine a mamma mia animatic meme for me)

[vanillamatchadove]

I should post here again. When I feel shit.

[vanillamatchadove]

tee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee <3

this is connected to nothing in particular but esora would peg Yuka. a hundred percent. she would make her whine and whimper and and and a dnasjdnvjdfgvikdfjhdjfhcdkjhuhdugjhfdugvjdsufhndubg

[vanillamatchadove]

If someone posts eso.rei in ao3 for mother fucking white day I'm gonna claw my eyes out and smile and post my fic.

[vanillamatchadove]

im being a hater here.

happy es.orei crumbs to eso.rei fans. . just know that you are breaking yuka's heart (<- has not read white day event story and only heard through the jp fans talking abt it)

like. aughhhghghg something something, kyoko and shinobu being "childhood" friend technically and then esora has her own. Yuka not part of that circle. Yuka says that peaky are her best friends, but are they to her? kyoko and shinobu maybe, but what about esora? yuka says herself that she and esora are the closest, she hangs out with her all the time, but what she isn't? what if it was someone else that esora sees as her closest friend? what if it wasn't yuka at all?

something something, please make Yuka have a jealous daiba nana arc donuts...........

[vanillamatchadove]

sigh. i miss my wife (yuka), tails. i'll be back

[vanillamatchadove]

im making myself look like i can pull bitches but i have zero swag

[vanillamatchadove]

i want yuka so fucking baddddd i need her in.. agh. dog l. dog. dog. dog le. d. dog lea. dddddddddd AUGHGGHHGGHGHGHGHGH i want her so bad.

[vanillamatchadove]

also first post of 2025 was me being a fuckin dumbass, hiiiiii

[vanillamatchadove]

holy fuck im down bad for yuka pleaaaaaaase give me a chance.....

[vanillamatchadove]

ghah yuka is making me insane, i want her so baddddddddddd

[vanillamatchadove]

unichord and abyssmare drawings.... yay! (ignore the errors w the spanish my dumbass forgot to change the o to a)

[vanillamatchadove]

becoming more and more aware that i might not see myself live until 25.

[vanillamatchadove]

can believe im writing kyoshino to be in a loving, slightly unexplored relationship that they both know has romantic (and maybe sexual?) undertones bc theyre afraid of exploring it. then im writing yukaeso to be divorced and cut ties with each other even tho they were never together and the reason for their divorce is [SPOILER TEXT] haha.

[vanillamatchadove]

Happy pocky day w nozoeli <3

[vanillamatchadove]

a bit late to mizu5 but meh.