vapidfirefly - Tumblr blog

[vapidfirefly]

Whoops!

Sorry, I teleported us to 1980 and blew up Mt. St. Helens with my demon mind powers.

Anyway since we’re about to die to 600 degree, 300 mph winds, did you know that 1974 Ford Pinto and I will both explode if you hit it from the back?

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Girls can ride trains, if you care at all

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“Can One Punch Man beat-”

Yes. Always. Good lord. I never understand why people can turn this into a big serious discussion. Yes, One Punch Man would beat Thanos. He would beat Luke Skywalker, Superman, every single character from Dragon Ball Z, and every ninja from Naruto. He would beat Thor and Wolverine and the Hulk in a tag team match. 

Because he plays by different rules. One Punch Man is a PARODY character. His skill set is defined by comedy, not power levels or physical strength. One Punch Man not Superman facing off against an ever-more powerful lineup of villains. He’s the Roadrunner against Wil E. Coyote’s ever more convoluted plans. Deadpool is the only other super hero type character who comes close to living in the same realm of parody, but frankly, Deadpool repeatedly getting the crap beat out of him would be funnier than Deadpool winning, so One Punch Man would win that fight too, even if he can’t actually kill Deadpool in one punch. Because parody.

If I see another Youtube video recommended to me like “Could One Punch Man beat-” really, truly, I do not care. 

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happy, in her cage, thriving

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The text reads,

“YOU WERE FRANTIC AND FOOLISH, YOU KEPT NO TRACK OF TIME, YOU RAN YOUR DELICATE BODY INTO ITS NATURAL END, YOU BURNED ALL YOUR CANDLES TO STUMPS, YOU ARE TIRED AND HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LAY DOWN, YOU HAVE EARNED THIS REPERCUSSION, THIS REWARD, THIS RECKONING, YOU FINALLY  NEED TO KNOW

HOW TO DECAY GRACEFULLY

LIE STILL (x13) ”

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SOIL SCIENCE AND PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEYRE DOING

Genuinely listening to a soil scientist or master horticulturalist ramble about literally any topic always results in a massive density of information. So many plant-tubers and tik tokers can give you tips, they may even have plants that thrive, but they can't exactly tell you -why-

"I use this product and it works! go buy it!"

Well why does it work? Is it tested and certified? do you know if this is a Fertilizer? a soil conditioner? does it work with organic systems?? Are there papers backing it up at all???

"I dunno! use my affiliate link!!"

and everyone has such wildly different home environments and climates and windows sizes that just saying "do x" without having a deep understanding of the conditions present means!! A-lot!! and houseplants don't have to be complicated but a lot of people fail at having a green thumb because nothing is explained properly. Some people do extremely well and don't realize it's mostly because they have large unobstructed windows whereas the person struggling is dealing with a north facing window covered by buildings and tree's and thinking their friend just grows em better and gets discouraged.

Listen to someone who studies this or does it professionally and they can give you broadly helpful tips backed by science with measurable improvements to back it up, rather than the SEA of AI written or regurgitated information. If you ask how to take care of a plant to google, you have to DIG to find relevant, helpful, GOOD info that isn't just spewed from the mouths of people shooting in the dark and having success.

"place plant in indirect light, fast draining soil, let it dry out before watering" - houseplant tips dreamed up by the utterly deranged, incurious, and actively unhelpful to anyone and harmful for beginners!! THEY HAVE PLAYED US FOR ABSOLUTE FOOLS!

My 'indirect light' Monstera can sit in sunlight all damn day AND THEY GROW IN FULL SUNLIGHT IN THE WILD!! Why then, does everyone think they can thrive in a semi dim corner of your house?? Why are you telling me my Hoya Kerii, a semi succulent that needs tons of full sun to thrive will do just fine getting like, 1 or two hours of it. It will not grow! It may even lose leaves and suffer!! (That hoya has thrown tantrums for months and I thought I was to blame!!)

I didn't know what VPD was! I didn't know the real difference between organic and synthetic fertilizers or what nutrient cycling was! I didn't know the benefits of algae growth in your soil and the indicators of a healthy micro-biome! WHATS HUMIC ACID, WOW LOOK AT THE SCIENCE BACKING UP HOW FUCKING HELPFUL IT IS! So much info shoved aside in favor of 'quick plant hacks' that barely contribute anything to your actual development of understanding how to make your Rare tropicals and indoor garden thrive!!

GO WATCH THE CHANNEL "GARDENING IN CANADA" AND BE AMAZED AT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LISTEN TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOING!! Some of their vids only have like, 3k views and they were more helpful in understanding and diagnosing issues I had than people posting full ass houseplant guides

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i want humans to look at me & recognize intuitively that i am the sort of creature that they can touch and/or pet if they want

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i will not voice train, im beginning the process of unmasking & my voice will only be getting deeper and more bored sounding with time

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Life, it never die

Women are my favorite guy

Sex, I'm wanting more

Tell the world, Stop the war

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the minecraft nostalgia phenomenon is so odd. like so many people my age have formative memories of being thrown into an oddly empty world for an unfinished game & hearing the occasional ambient piece that was equal parts dinky and profoundly morose. like our mario 1-1 theme is c418 sweden

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WAKE UP. WATER TOMATOES AND ANY PLANTS THAT NEED TENDING. FEED THE BIRDS, BARK AT THE STELLAR JAYS, REJOICE THAT WE WERE PLUCKED FROM THE ETHER AND DROPPED HERE TO LIVE, DREAM, AND DIE HERE ON THIS LITTLE ROCK, MAKE BREAKFAST, BE A PUPPY.

IVE NEVER SEEN A SPIDER TAKE A SIP OF WATER UNTIL I FED MY HOUSEPLANTS AND WATCHED A BABY DADDY LONG LEG DROP DOWN FROM HIS POST ON OUR SUCCULENT AND LEAN INTO A SATURATED SPOT TO HAVE A DRINK BEFORE CLIMBING BACK UP TO HIS POST, THE WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL

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so anyways, if youre drying seeds from a couple ripe fruits you picked up from sidewalk gardens, dry them on silicone mats so you don’t spend 20 minutes picking up tiny seeds without a whole bunch of toilet paper attached.

the wrath of zeus is palpable, this boulder is heavy

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Bonsai me mommy, keep me small, miniaturize my growth habits, cutt my roots and stems,♥♥♥ bind me to your vision and desire in bondage ♥♥♥, ☼ ☼ ☼ keep me under your LIGH -  *gets dragged away*