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[tw: death mention]

this morning grandma passed away, relatives said it would've been on wednesday night but they were wrong. we got to talk to her for the last time at least. i'm emotionally devastated, so is my mom (but she's stronger than me imo)

it will take a while to fully restore my mental health.

i may-may-not avoid certain kind of threads, like angsty ones. i'd prefer to give priority to funny and even crack-ish ones if possible.

i'll also get myself busy and work on fanfiction.

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23-24yo Motomiya Daisuke from YDP sequel. (main design/default)

※ i messed it up the color reference, therefore i'm re-uploading it.

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ya know i wish i could not fear going into main fandom tags and seeing things that would make me upset. i keep rebloggin' my own posts/art because i use them as visual reference for stuff, and some of them are verses in this acc.

part of me would like to follow peeps who make gifs art etc again, but i feel utterly afraid. especially people who tend to put their negative thoughts, salt and dunkery on their own art posts/gif posts.

i'm not very fond of redesigning a character to "fix" their design, i'd prefer redesigns to show differences from canon & AU, and for designing practices. everyone is free to like and dislike things, but i'd like to keep hot takes and fix-it stuff away from art/gif posts y'know...

maybe it's because i agree with a friend who called me out for putting a non-offensive statement like "despite not enjoying this series, i like this character" and friend explained that this kind of attitude is no-good because it's going to be shared and peeps who like the series + character will see it as well, and they would prefer to not reblog/interact with such kind of posts.

i understood their point, therefore this is why my art posts tend to not come with my strong opinions/feelings towards stuff and i make it clear when i redesign something that this is for practice or to illust the differences between AU and canon.

i'm weird, yeah. but this is why i don't share much stuff from other people here and this acc is limited to just a few ones -- i'd like to avoid the takes, the dunkery and negativity posts in my dash/blogs.

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ngl Daisuke would be impressed by a GUN-DIGIVICE.

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"Hmmm..."

He knew the last time he met someone alleging to have a digimon but the digimon not being around ended up really bad for him and his friends, so this time he would be just...

"Alright. we go but you are coming too. Your partner can stay outside then."

You can't fool Motomiya Daisuke more than once, take notes. Middle School days were something he will never forget, his mistakes and bad decisions. He vowed to not let it happen ever again.

"So which school you mean?" V-mon blinked, then noticed the boy's outfit was basically a school uniform," Oh, you mean... your school?!"

"... Show us the way." Daisuke added, quickly.

"Well, we lost track of it..." Makoto rubbed the back of his neck, feeling awkward. He was usually better at dealing with Digimon, but this one had been much faster than he was prepared for.

"I'm pretty sure I saw it go this way... It might have gone into the school."

Luckily it was Sunday, so there shouldn't be any students inside, but...

"We should try to lure it out. My partner's a little too big to be fighting inside buildings."

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i'm feeling empty...

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BeatBreak musings:

y'know friend thinks Makoto will snap hard and be a baddie, meanwhile i think he's not even from 2050 because LOOK AT THOSE CLOTHES FFS IS HE REALLY A CHILD FROM THE FUTURE?!

suspicious. (if he's a digimon i'll snap)

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"..."

He wondered what would Nata want with some trash can nearby his cousin's cafe... They couldn't be looking for crumbs in the trash for eating, right?

Yuna and Makoto probably had headed home at this hour. And he was only there back because he had heard about some rumors of stray digimon wandering around at night, possibly looking for food or trying to get back to the Digital World.

Rui sighed, yet it was unclear whether it was a relief or just exhaustion. Maybe both.

"... Get out of that trash can before someone finds you."

Ukkomon was just silent, he tilted his head at this scene.

"If you... If you're looking for something to eat, or somewhere to stay, you can ask us for help..." he added, but he didn't know if his small apartment would be a good place for Nata and Kyaromon. Well, the luckiest part is just... both Ukkomon and Kyaromon are small so it wouldn't be that cramped inside.

However, Rui thinks it would be unfair to submit Nata to a small place, with only the things Rui eats and the dresses. He would just feel like the time he was subjected to accept his late mother's choices for him.

He wondered if he could ask for Takeru's help though... Daisuke is a big nope, considering the fact Daisuke had moved to NYC at this point, and Ken and Miyako had hitched and soon they would be parents. Hikari and Iori are not that close acquaintances, so he wouldn't bother them. Takeru is not that much, but still manages to come check on him from time-to-time, so...

"what are you doing here?!" [idk how to continue that other Rui-Nata thread atm, so maybe they can meet at another point idk?? also had to edit because i can't see Rui using the F-word for some reason 🤣 ]

THE QUESTION IS SO LOUD THAT HE STUMBLES and nearly tumbles into the garbage, resulting in a loud, metallic clatter as his back hit the steel hull. This is the complete opposite of going unannounced; while Nata had successfully suppressed the urge to yelp in surprise, the junk laying around this particular alleyway took no issue with making sure he was heard.

"Uh—uhh!" The pain of striking a trash can is much less than the surprise at the cacophony of loud noises. Having fallen back on his rump, the youth tucked himself along the wall, flinching instinctively. The boy's typically raised guard only lowered moments later, when he recognized the locks of lavender hair that obscured this familiar young man's face. "I—!"

The lid of the trash can behind him rattles and pops up, revealing a familiar ball of cream fur. "Oh hello, Mister Rui!" Kyaromon chirps, before he wriggles and slips out onto the ground.

Nata fell dead silent, as he typically did, but his grey eyes were fixed apologetically onto Rui, as if he'd been caught red-handed doing something he shouldn't. To be fair, being found in an alleyway close to the cafe at this hour of night screamed suspicious behavior. It was a wonder how this kid had managed to evade authorities this long.

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how to tell mutual hey i think ur really cool we should talk more but like also im bad at talking and am always exhausted

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sigh, an important update for my emotional health:

[tw: death mention]

i'm not in the good mood atm because at home my mom is suffering really hard about my grandma (maternal granny) passing tonight.

this is hurting me a lot. so i'd like to avoid getting into fights, or discussion about things that could frustrate me to the most.

i've been emotionally devastated since monday night (? i think? the whole news messed it up my brain so much i can't remember now), so i feel like dead inside.

i had watched Hunters finale yesterday with my friends and had a good time at least, but today mom's relatives called in so she could see grandma for the last time. she's still moody and this is killing me.

we're doing our best to help her right now, her mood is going up and down like a rollercoaster...

despite all the issues and fights... i love my parents and my family. i want to help them, i want to make them smile.

i'm sorry for my mood. i'll probably posting this in other places too. i'll get back to write stuff, and working on fanfiction/YDP sequel + art in the meantime to keep myself busy.

so i hope you can understand me and my request to not get engaged in discourse.

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what a week huh?

"Ni, it's Wednesday."

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I can imagine people finding out Rui's various skills and like on their it's nothing unusual but once you add them together Rui gets a raised eyebrow

a friend told me this about those HCs and i'm laughign because the electrician pouch idea was his fault tho

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LET’S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING A MOMENT.

you don’t need fancy icons to roleplay with me.

you don’t need to write in small fonts to roleplay with me.

your theme doesn’t have to look like you gave your soul to photoshop to roleplay with me. 

i won’t rp with you if you don’t read my rules.

i won’t rp with you if you have a sucky attitude. 

LET TUMBLR ELITISM DIE. 

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i've been just imagining awful headcanons for Rui so i might just say...

yeah, he trespassed the Tokyo Tower because he managed to pull a whole spy movie scene of disguising himself as a electrician and got access to the restricted area.

he's quite smart so he really managed to pretend being an electrician. he may know one or two things for some reason (possibly learned because he was now living by himself and didn't want to talk with people??)

yes he got an electrician pouch just for that.

however he's bad at lying because of his traumatic childhood so he hates LYING and will rather dodge the questions, but if he is forced to lie he does it... but he will fear for his life.

he's good at sneaking into places without being noticed quickly. and he's fast enough too.

maaaaaaaaaybe he knows how to pick locks, how he learned it probably was for certain occasions like, forgetting his keys inside.

Yuna (my OC who's Rui's cousin) knows. she discovered he can pick locks because her husband forgot the keys inside the cafe shop once.

he kept the eyepatch even post-movie events because Daisuke said he should keep it just for looking a cool shounen hero with it.

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Tagiru: So you're... Lance-san's boyfriend?

Rui: Lance-san? Who's that...?

Tagiru: The dude with orange shades.

Rui: ... The dude with orange shades... [Daisuke comes to his mind]

Rui: [turns to Daisuke] I thought your name was Daisuke? 💧

Daisuke: Huh? It is Daisuke.

Rui: Then, why does he call you by that?

Daisuke: It's a LONG story... 💧

LXW Tagiru meets Daisuke's boyfriend Rui-kun for the first time.

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How Amanokawa Hiro learned to pick locks. [/joke]

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sobs...

Digimon Animation has caught me again and made me smile again.