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[venividiviniagain]

9.22.18

We got married. All these posts still ring so true as if I just wrote them. He’s my husband.

I still can’t believe this is my life now.

In reading some of my older posts I’m realizing that the older part of me that I thought was long gone is still there. She is what ruins my big moments.

Like now, being in so much utter shock of how lucky I am but simultaneously being unable to feel that emotion.

[venividiviniagain]

I'm so

Madly obsessed with you. It's scary being this close to the ledge, so close to making that big leap with you. Do you feel the same? I know you do. I'm just in constant shock and awe that this is happening. I constantly need to keep pinching myself, remind myself it's not a dream.

I'm so incredibly thankful for my life. There is no way I could have gotten to this point in my life without my support team, and without you. I promise to strive everyday to make sure you know how much I love you and want to support you to grow and be your best self.

You are my rock. You've kept me steady while the world was shaking. You are my buoy. You've kept me afloat when my life felt overwhelming and I felt underwater.

[venividiviniagain]

Almost everyday, I get into these moments where I can't think straight. I can't stop thinking about you. I cannot function, I am immobilized at the idea someone could love me as much as you do. That I could be so lucky so as to find you. That somehow I could find the person who is everything I never knew I needed.

[venividiviniagain]

10.9.16

To remember the time he said it first.

The morning after the first wedding we went to together.

My early morning alarms kept going off. After snoozing them, we started waking up. You rolled over, hugged me close, and said you love me.

This weekend was so magical.

😍😍😍😍😍😍

[venividiviniagain]

I made the horrible mistake of looking back on our conversations.

We were so self-obsessed. So completely full of ourselves. So incredibly pompous.

It scares me a little that I shut so much of my life out. Parts from 2011 are sprinkled into the conversation. Parts that today I don’t think I could handle. I had shut myself down, and I literally lost the ability for emotion. I can see it in this conversation.

It helps to know you never really cared. You could’ve asked more about him. I dodged a bullet.

::edit:: He asks about me, my family, and if anyone's sick he asks how they're doing. He's perfect.

I saw your parents today. I couldn't say hi from where I was but I almost stopped the car to say something.

[venividiviniagain]

To remember that time you finally said it. Those three words.

I feel so stupid. This whole time I painted you to be just like any other stereotypical guy who couldn’t commit so I waited. I wanted to make sure you said it first. So I knew you were serious. But I caved and said it and you said it right back, with the words falling out softly like you were waiting for me the whole time.

This whole time I was the one doubting. I was the one putting you through tests no normal human being could pass. I told Neena about how we talked about Washington and how my mother was glad that we were talking about future plans and I said that I’m glad you’re being serious. Neena said no one doubted you were serious. That I was the only one doubting you. I’m sorry I doubted you.

I want to come home to you every day. I want to grow old with you. I will go anywhere with you. When we were talking politics with your dad for the first time I saw him like he was my father in law and I loved it. I love your parents. I love your siblings. I love your nephew. I love you. I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it.

[venividiviniagain]

[venividiviniagain]

You know you've got a good one when he tells his boys he can't make it out because he's busy going with you to take your dog to a routine vet visit.

[venividiviniagain]

everyone who reblogs this will get a poem/short story based on what it feels like to scroll through their blog

and i mean everyone. i need to practice!

[venividiviniagain]

To remember that time when I asked you those questions and you mentioned "convention" and I mentioned how we hadn't followed convention but I think some things needed to be said prior to making future plans. And that time when you said it without saying it.

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I would make the trip to the weirwood tree north of The Wall to pray to the gods every day if it meant I'd never lose you.

[venividiviniagain]

For the past couple of days I've been struggling with a comment a coworker made to me. "Have you been out in the sun?" " yeah, actually I've been taking walks with my dog everyday-" " ahh...yeah you've gotten darker ..." 1. She said it with this face eerily similar to a face one would make when someone who hasn't showered in a week walks by right when you were breathing in. 2. Who the hell cares if I've gotten darker?! Why is she making out to be a bad thing? Dark skin is so beautiful. dark skin is so beautiful. 3. That comment really has me fired up.

[venividiviniagain]

12/30/15

We were standing at your parents’ front door, looking out to the street, and that’s when I thought “ I could do this forever with you. Look out our own front door, waiting for the kids to come home. I can see it.” And I won’t tell you I thought that. I’m going to enjoy the fact that I already see it, and I’ll wait for you to catch up.

[venividiviniagain]

Trevor Noah: Lost in Translation

[venividiviniagain]

😍😍😍

[venividiviniagain]

I would really like for you to like me back and something happen here because I like you and I don't think I can deal with another jerk again. That might possibly my breaking point.

[venividiviniagain]

I can't be left alone with my thoughts.