ventingnotes

[ventingnotes]

Venting

So i just need to use somewhere to vent, since i dont have anyone to tell, no other place and i dont have helpful experience with therapist either.

So i feel like i am living in hell because of my relationships. I constantly feel that any wrong word i will say will lead to catastrophe. I feel like my words are always twisted, like he always makes me feel I am bad person, I am selfish, spoiled, priveledged. I have just graduated couple of months ago and I am not working still. I cant find a power to do that, I just cry whole day. Usually I wake up in good mood, but then after conversation with him I feel horrible. I wish I would never have to talk to him again. He doesnt understand me and he doesnt want. I hate him. And I cant tell all this to anybody because it is my choice to stay with him. Because of emotional and financial dependency. So yeah I am not a victim here. It is my choice. In this point I am even disgusting person because I stay. Anyway I need to vent somewhere.