ventingtovent - Tumblr blog

[ventingtovent]

Hey everyone, I know this is kind of just screaming into the void, but me and my partner have been struggling a lot recently. Our car broke down, and we both have jobs that we need to get to that are half an hour away w/o public transportation being an option. I can borrow my father in laws car for a bit, but this isn't sustainable. I know it's a long shot, but anything will help. Reblogs, likes, anything would mean the world to me.

If you are interested, I also do commissions. I can send photos of my work if you DM me. Thanks guys. I appreciate any help I can get.

[ventingtovent]

I'm still mad that you fucking used him against me.

[ventingtovent]

I guess I should use this blog for what it was meant for.

why? Why did you act like you were perfection, that everything around you that was happening was absolutely inside of your control when you put yourself there? I wanted to help, I wanted to save you, you made me feel so fucking good about wanting to save you. You wanted me to chase you, but if the chase ever ended you wouldn't have anything to pull others in by would you?

I wanted to help! I only ever wanted to see you grow, and I gave you everything you would ever need. Then I got told everything that you did, how you would manipulate people into giving you everything. You starved me of affection I needed to prioritize your new supply. I. You love bombed me?

I just wanted to see you thrive but I guess the way you dug your heels in only sunk you further and further into your own self pity. And I fed into it. And now you have new people to sink your teeth into and I want to scream. I wasn't special, I was another spoon that would feed you.

I hope someday you learn, but I don't have high hopes.

[ventingtovent]

why do you both give me everything I could ever ask for? I could never hope to repay it and yet you want to give me more and more

I am yours for as long as you'll have me, and even after that

[ventingtovent]

I'd give either of you everything I have.

I do mean everything.

[ventingtovent]

this is going to eat me alive

[ventingtovent]

I dont want to hurt anyone but I know in this state if you hurt me ill let it happen

I'll let it happen because I love you I love you I love you

[ventingtovent]

[ventingtovent]

can’t you see it?! i’m giving you my heart! take it! i don’t care if you tear it apart or treasure it, do whatever you like. no matter what you do, i’m yours.

[ventingtovent]

I posted over a year ago and I thought that was it but I'm still walking and talking and breathing. I'm breathing love and it hurts my lungs like thorns.

I try to be realistic but I'm such a dramatic.

Why love me? all I do is bring misery, I am the omen of misfortune every time

[ventingtovent]

how is it possible to love this many at once? will I lose sight of myself? will I lose them in the process? I'm afraid, I'm so afraid of fucking it up and never being able to recover.

I need them now and it puts a pit in my stomach when I feel rejected. I haven't used this in so so so long and here I am again

Is it several feet back? Or am I finally comfortable feeling things again?

Or maybe I'm just hungry lol.

[ventingtovent]

everything i have done was for this moment.

coward?

a coward would not be so bold.

[ventingtovent]

if i do it theyll talk about me

[ventingtovent]

i just want attention right

if i go through with it theyll talk about me

good enough for me

[ventingtovent]

isnt it funny how i trigger a protector instinct more than anything

it hurts but its ok

[ventingtovent]

[ventingtovent]