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[verdantdesert]

[verdantdesert]

*    WHICH   GREEK   GOD   /   GODDESS   DO   YOU   REFLECT   THE   MOST?

LANEY’S  RESULT: APOLLO

Apollo has been variously recognized as a god of music, truth and prophecy, healing, the sun and light, plague, poetry, and more. The twin brother of Artemis. He is loyal, fierce, and headstrong. Despite traits such as impulsiveness, he is rather intelligent and graceful.

TAGGED BY: @cocainechique TAGGING: any!

[verdantdesert]

❛  i  used  to  be  like  you.   like  an  exposed  nerve  of  a  broken  tooth.   i  used  anything  i  could  to  insulate:      music,   drugs,   booze,   anything  to  keep  me  separated  from  the  rest  of  the  world.   i  felt  too  sensitive      for  this  world.   so  i  made  armor,  i  built  barriers  and  walls  and  eventually  i  felt  protected.    i  felt  safe.      but  i  had  also  never  felt  so  completely  ALONE.                                                                                   ⓒ ⓒ

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“She is like a saguaro, a fine and beautiful cactus that lives in the desert. Saguaros can be shot full of holes, carved upon, knocked over, stepped on, and still they live, still they store life-giving water, still they grow wild and repair themselves over time.”

— Clarissa Pinkola Estés, from  “Women who Run with the Wolves,” c. 1992 (via violentwavesofemotion)

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The Punisher | 2.9

Well, I’ve known Frank for a long time, and there’s one thing for sure, he cares about you.

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👫 - laney

send  👫  for four headcanons about our muse’s relationship.

i.   god neither pat nor i expected this from their first interaction, but laney’s like her little sister at this point.   her annoying little sister who pisses the fuck out of her sometimes but who she would do anything to protect.   there’s just something about how young laney is in the middle of all of this and how good her heart is despite all the shit life’s throwing her way that made pat love her way more than she ever thought she would when they met at gus’s funeral.

ii.   pat’s so protective of laney and she would do anything to keep her safe, but she also grew up with people underestimating and doubting her and her abilities so badly she just can’t bring herself to do the same thing to laney or anyone.  if laney has a risky idea or wants to help with something that’s potentially dangerous she’ll at least listen and consider it.   she wouldn’t put laney in a highly dangerous situation but she trusts laney when she says she can handle something.

iii.   pat teaching laney how to shoot or fight though!!!!   showing her that being small doesn’t make you a bad fighter and how to know your strengths and use certain weaknesses to your advantage.   pat’s a good teacher and she believes everyone should know at least the basics of self defense.

iv.   the fact that laney is pretty much the only person pat can really open up with about gus and how much she misses him makes me so weak honestly.   gus meant so much for her and now he’s dead and she’s not allowed to mourn him the way she needs to, she’s not allowed to even let people know she’s mourning at all and laney’s one of the only exceptions to that rule.   of course it comes with its share of guilt since pat knows what he did to victor and is hiding that from laney, but it’s so important to her to have a friend she can freely talk to about gus and tell stories about him and just, talk about how much she misses him.   laney’s one of the only people pat can talk to about that whole part of her life and it’s not so easy to earn her trust, but laney’s definitely done it.

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FOUR DAYS have passed since she learned that Victor would never be coming home, because of the man she once adored like a second father.  The man whom Victor likely felt the same way about, until that man opened his throat.

It's with reddened eyes that Laney looks up at Pat, ripping her gaze from the red stained cloth, still slightly visible through the bandage.  There are no more tears this time, though-  she's cried a thousand times over the past few days, since the last time she spoke to Pat, and she wonders if there's even anything left.  She doesn't look away the way she usually does when Pat confronts her over something like this, but instead stares, her jaw set in a hard line.

“ You first. I know Victor's life meant nothing to you, so why does mine?  Why not just let me bleed out right here?  That would be better than making me live with this. ”  She speaks monotonously, detached and cold.  “ You'd deserve it. To lose someone because of him like I did. ”

@verdantdesert​  said:  CLOTH : bandaging a wound          /          i love you prompts.

THE  MERE  SIGHT  of  that  tattoo,   so  similar  to  her  own,   brings  pat  pain.           it  does  since  the  very  first  day  laney  had  gotten  it,   and  it  wasn’t  the  place  nor  the  time  to  tell  laney  that  the  person  she’d  gotten  a  tattoo  in  memory  of  was  her  cousin’s  KILLER.           now  she  realizes  there's  no  such  thing  as  a  right  place  or  a  right  time  for  that.

the  initial  fear  of  seeing  laney  bleeding  had  worn  off  upon  expecting  the  wound   ——   deeper  than  the  girl  had  probably  intended,   but  not  so  deep  that  it’ll  need  stitches  or  medical  attention.           pat  has  laney  hold  a  piece  of  cloth  to  it  as  she  prepares  some  gauze  with  cleaning  solution,   then  gently  moves  her  hands  away  as  she  starts  to  work  on  it;   starting  on  the  outsides  and  slowly  making  her  way  towards  the  center  of  it.

❛          you  wanna  tell  me  what  the  fuck  you  were  thinking?         ❜

[verdantdesert]

Keep your distance, okay? Step number one: you’re gonna take the gun off line, right? Off line, right? Push hard. All right, now step two: go for that wrist, all right? Get control. Underneath. Go for the joint. Joints are weakest. Use your legs, get underneath and twist.

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hammurabicomplex‌:

PAT  NODS,   some  relief  starting  to  take  place  inside  of  her.           only  a  glimpse  of  the  truck  shouldn’t  be  a  problem,   especially  since  this  truck  will  be  gone  from  the  face  of  the  earth  by  the  end  of  the  day.           and  they  didn’t  see  laney.           she’s  alive  and  okay.           right  now,   that’s  the  most  important  thing  for  pat.

❛          it’s  okay.           i’ll  deal  with  the  truck.        ❜           pat’s  thumb  draws  small  circles  on  the  skin  of  laney’s  wrist,   hoping  to  soothe  her  a  little  bit.           she  draws  in  a   deep  breath.           laney’s  counting  on  her  to  know  what  to  do  right  now,   to  give  her  guidance  like  pat  was  given  by  gus.           now's  not  the  time  to  freak  out.

❛          look,   you  have  work  tomorrow  at  the  car  wash.           i  know  it’s  hard,   but  you’re  gonna  be  there  like  it’s  just  a  regular  day.           you’re  gonna  say  hi  to  walter  and  your  coworkers,   smile  at  costumers,   chat  with  your  boyfriend,   whatever  you  do  everyday.           this  never  happened.           you  got  that?         ❜

“ YEAH-  I got it. ”  It's so much easier, sometimes, to just listen and follow orders-  Laney hadn't realized how much she missed having an adult around who knew what to do, who wasn't such a fuck-up like her.  “ I mean, now I know my boss-  my goddamn boyfriend’s dad-  is a huge fucking racist, but just play it off, right? ”  She grins, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

“ It’s not like he can just attack me in public or anything, because then he’ll give himself up, and he’s supposedly smarter than that.  But like-  what if he sends those guys after me?  I doubt they’re super upstanding citizens, for obvious reasons.  I know it’s not likely but like, if one of them took a picture or something?  I’m probably fine, but if I’m not, then I’m dead. ” 

Laney looks down, laughing to herself to keep from crying.  She’s already made things hard enough for Pat, who’s done nothing but help her so far, so she doesn’t want ask even more from her, but-  “ Can you pick me up from work tomorrow?  I get it if you’re busy, but-  I guess I’d just feel a lot safer that way. ”

[verdantdesert]

CHARACTER SHEET repost. do not reblog.

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

FULL NAME.     Selena Begaye Ruiz PRONUNCIATION.     “seh-LAY-na” NICKNAME.     Laney GENDER.     Female HEIGHT.     4′11″ AGE.     15 ZODIAC.     Leo SPOKEN LANGUAGES.     Navajo, English, Spanish, and a small amount of O’odham

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

HAIR COLOR.     Black EYE COLOR.     Dark brown SKIN TONE.     Medium brown BODY TYPE.     Petite average, fit but not muscular ACCENT.     New Mexican VOICE.     Sing-song, melodic, and sweet, but very not quiet. DOMINANT HAND.     Left, although she’s a switch hitter in softball. POSTURE.     Usually very slouched, although she’s perfectly capable of standing up straight thanks to working at Los Pollos Hermanos for nearly a year. SCARS.     A long one across her chest from surgery done on her as a child, after a near-fatal rib injury from a horseback riding accident, and a handful of burns on her arms from the deep-fryer at LPH. TATTOOS.        None (yet) due to her age

BIRTHMARKS.     No particularly large ones, although she has many moles. MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S).     Cheekbones, long silky hair, smile

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 !

PLACE OF BIRTH.     Gallup, New Mexico HOMETOWN.     Gallup, New Mexico, although she lived on the To’Hajiilee Reservation from ages three to eleven and has resided in Albuquerque since. BIRTH WEIGHT.     5.8 lbs. BIRTH HEIGHT.     17 inches. MANNER OF BIRTH.     Regular, although she was born two weeks early. FIRST WORDS.     “Hi!” SIBLINGS.     None, although she grew up with cousins whom she considers siblings PARENTS.     Manuel Ruiz and Christina Begaye Ruiz (†) PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT.     Laney was very close to her parents as a child, but her mother’s disappearance when she was eleven essentially tore her family apart. Her father became emotionally distant and depressed, and when he moved the two of them from To’Hajiilee to Albuquerque, Laney was also cut off from her mother’s family, leaving her essentially without support. They have a relatively decent relationship and Laney very much loves and admires her father, although it saddens her that they aren’t as close as they should be.

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 !

OCCUPATION.     Formerly a fry cook and cashier at Los Pollos Hermanos, currently a clerk at the A1A Car Wash CURRENT RESIDENCE.     An apartment in Albuquerque, shared with her father CLOSE FRIENDS.     Many, including Walter White Jr./”Flynn” RELATIONSHIP STATUS.     Timeline dependent, although she does end up dating Walter Jr. FINANCIAL STATUS.     Working class DRIVER’S LICENSE.     Not old enough yet, although she has a learner’s permit and often (illegally) drives by herself. Her father knows, but it’s really the least of his worries since Laney is a very good driver. CRIMINAL RECORD.     Nothing officially, although she has a record at her school for marijuana possession. VICES.        weed.

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 !

SEXUAL ORIENTATION.     Bisexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION.     Demiromantic PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE.     submissive  |  dominant |  SWITCH. PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE.     submissive |  dominant |  switch. LIBIDO.      TURN ON’S.      TURN OFF’S.      LOVE LANGUAGE.    Aside from just saying “I love you”, which Laney is not at all hesitant to do, she shows affection through physical means (hugs, cheek kisses, etc.), by engaging with another person’s interests, and notably, by sharing her food. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES.     With both friendships and romantic relationships, Laney tends to be very enthusiastic and seemingly open, although she hides her true feelings from almost everyone she meets, preventing her from being truly close to others.

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 !

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG.     Season 2 Episode 3 by Glass Animals, or Teen Idle by MARINA HOBBIES TO PASS TIME.     Drawing, video games, smoking with friends, driving in the desert, sports MENTAL ILLNESSES.     ADHD, undiagnosed bipolar II disorder PHYSICAL ILLNESSES.     Celiac disease LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED.     SUPER right-brained PHOBIAS.     Small spaces, isolation, being unseen or alone. SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL.     Either incredibly high or incredibly low. VULNERABILITIES.     Naive, trusting, impulsive, impressionable, immature

TAGGED BY.  @hammurabicomplex TAGGING.  any!

[verdantdesert]

hammurabicomplex‌:

PAT  GETS  UP  from  the  couch  so  she  can  kneel  down  in  front  of  laney,   eye-level  with  her.           she  rests  her  hands  over  laney’s  arms,   trying  to  comfort  her,   to  get  her  to  stop  shaking.          ❛          it’s  okay.           i’m  just  glad  you’re  okay.         ❜           she  can  barely  process  the  rest  of  the  information,   her  head  still  rushing  with  adrenaline  at  the  mere  thought  of  the  risk  laney  put  herself  through,   that  she  almost  got  herself  KILLED.          ❛          give  me  the  keys.           i’ll  get  rid  of  the  truck.           i’ll  leave  you  and  your  dad  some  money  to  buy  a  new  one.         ❜

she  turns  laney’s  hands  around  to  inspect  the  scrapes  in  her  palms.           is  this  how  gus  used  to  feel  like  whenever  she’d  do  something  risky  or  get  her  ass  kicked?           he’d  put  her  in  dangerous  situations  before,   but  he  worried  when  things  got  too  far.          ❛         laney,   look  at  me.           did  they  see  you?           is  there  anything  on  the  truck  that  they  could  trace  back  to  you?         ❜

SHE PULLS a shaky hand out of Pat's grasp to fish the keys out of her pocket and hand them off.  “ God, this isn't gonna be easy to explain to my dad.  Sometimes I wish I could tell him, or anyone else, but...  we’re alone in this, I guess. ”  

With a deep breath, she continues,  “ I don’t think so.  I booked it as soon as I realized, so I don't think they got a good look at me or the truck?  I’d be surprised if they got the license plate.  Which is good, since I’m not old enough to drive, anyway. ”  Back when her life was normal, being caught for that would’ve been her greatest worry, not being shot by white supremacists working with her boss.  

“ Um...  I’m not sure, but White might know what my dad’s truck looks like, my dad’s picked me up and dropped me off at work a few times.  It’s not like there’s only one red Dodge Ram in the world, but if he actually saw me, then he might make the connection.... ”  she trails off and shrugs, turning away once more and squeezing her eyes tightly shut.

[verdantdesert]

Threads in time, Natalie Ciccoricco (because)

[verdantdesert]

Do you actually have chips in your bag? I will take a look. 

[verdantdesert]

hammurabicomplex‌:

A  SMILE  GROWS  on  her  lips  as  she  works  on  carefully  wrapping  her  busted  hands  up  in  bandages.          ❛          you  wanna  know  what  the  first  rule  to  being  a  badass  is?           quit  the  low  self  esteem.         ❜           it  saddens  her  to  hear  laney  talking  about  herself  like  that,   even  if  the  younger  girl  often  masks  her  self-deprecating  comments  with  humor.          ❛          i  don’t  put  up  with  anyone  i  don’t  like  outside  of  work;   and  i’m  not  at  work  right  now,  am  i?           you’re  good  company,   kid.           anyone  ever  tell  you  that?        ❜

it  hurts  her  sore  ribs  to  put  her  arms  up  too  high,   but  pat  doesn’t  think  anything’s  broken.           she’s  had  her  ribs  broken  enough  times  at  this  point  that  she  can  tell  when  some  real  DAMAGE  has  been  done.          ❛         thanks.           i  don’t——   always  feel  like  that,   though.           at  work,   it’s  like  everybody’s  bigger  and  stronger  and  tougher  than  me.           but  knowing  how  to  fake  confidence  goes  a  long  way.           people  respect  you  when  you  take  yourself  seriously.        ❜

she  inspects  laney  for  a  second   ——   the  girl  is  definitely  not  what  comes  to  her  mind  when  she  thinks  of  a  FIGHTER,   but  there  are  things  they  could  work  on  if  laney  wants.          ❛         i  can  teach  you  a  few  things  if  you  want  to.           just  some  self-defense.           you’re  small,   but  that  makes  you  faster.           i’m  not  that  big  myself.           there  are  different  things  we  can  use  to  our  advantage.        ❜

PAT'S WORDS WARM HER, even if she was basically fishing for compliments.   “ I’m either the best company or the worst, or so I hear, ”  Laney replies with a half-grin,  “ But I don't know if I can take myself seriously, since I don't really take anything seriously. It’s a good thing that I won’t get shot for that with my job. Well, ”  she corrects,  “ at least probably not, I don’t think White is that crazy. ”

She pauses to think over Pat’s offer, chewing her lip.  “ I’m definitely fast, I know that.  Last season I didn't do track because I wanted more hours at the restaurant, and the team was shit without me. ”  Her cocky smile widens when she recalls that bit of information.  “ But, yeah.  I guess, doing this stuff and being around legit dangerous people, it would probably be a good idea for me to learn how to fight.  And who else is gonna put up with me long enough to teach me? ”

Laney forces a serious expression before commanding,  “ But not right now!  You’re way too fucked up, and I don’t want you turning into a full-body bruise.  So I don’t even want you thinking about fighting until you’re healed, got it? ”

[verdantdesert]

SHE’S STILL TREMBLING, the events of the past hour and a half meaning that it'll be a while before the adrenaline high wears off, as she shakes her head.  She turns away slightly when Pat sits, her face hot with shame and nearly-spilled tears.

“ Yeah, I’m- I’m fine. I scraped my knee and hands a little when I tripped but that's just what I get for running in heels, I guess. ”  She laughs, because if she doesn't, she'll lose her mind.

“ I just... I know you’ve been occupied with the cartel assholes, so you haven’t had time to keep up with White.  So I knew I needed to help. ”  Laney groans in frustration and buries her face in her hands.  “ God, they fucking- Pat, they had swastika tattoos.  I knew White was bad, but I never thought he was a fucking neo-Nazi!  And now they've seen my dad’s truck....  fuck, I’m sorry, Pat, I’m so fucking sorry. ”

MISC. SENTENCE STARTERS status:  accepting!      /     @verdantdesert​

THE  ANGER  in  her  chest  dissipates  almost  instantly  at  laney’s  small  voice.           pat  hadn’t  meant  to  snap  at  her   ——   it  happened,   as  it  often  does,   but  it  had  come  from  a  place  of  concern  as  well  as  frustration.           she’d  made  things  worse  rather  than  helping,   but  pat  just  shakes  her  head  with  a  sign,   coming  to  sit  by  her  side.

❛          i’m  SORRY,   okay?           i  was  a  dick.           i’m  really  sorry.         ❜           it’s  something  she  doesn’t  say  often,   and  definitely  not  to  just  about  anyone.          ❛          are  you  okay?           you  HURT?        ❜           she  looks  at  laney  in  search  for  any  injuries.          ❛          you  can’t  put  yourself  in  harm’s  way  like  this,   not  even  to  help  me.           what  the  fuck  were  you  thinking?        ❜