versouisse - Tumblr blog

[versouisse]

It was shortlived

As I sit here, listening to a song, I find myself compelled to write to you—the first time I've allowed myself to break the silence that has chained me since I retreated into solitude.

It has been weeks since our last conversation, yet your presence lingers in my mind, stubbornly refusing to fade away.

Perhaps it is foolish of me to admit, but a part of me clings to the hope that your words held sincerity when you spoke of seeing me. Deep down, I sense a readiness to embrace the possibility of dating once more. Maybe I've allowed myself to become captivated by thoughts of you, consumed by the idea of what could have been.

Every now and then, I find myself watching your streams, visiting your Spotify account. Yet, with each revisit, I am reminded of the bittersweet memories you both shared in that playlist that you made for each other. It serves as a constant reminder of why we could never truly belong together.

I've come to realize that perhaps both of you were better suited for each other—a realization that brings me rage, yet whatever is best for you, I am happy. I think my mind could never stop thinking if the world took you from me, an example if I continued liking you. Her authenticity, her genuineness, stand in stark contrast to my own shortcomings. It is through this lens that I recognize we don't have any connection, and I refuse to pretend to be someone I am not simply to earn your affection.

The decision to strip away the layers of makeup was not merely a physical transformation but a symbolic act of shedding pretense and embracing my true self. And though I may never fully embody the authenticity I desire, I am grateful for the role you played in helping me appreciate myself more deeply.

At times, I find myself consumed by feelings of greed—wondering what it would be like if the world saw you as I do, if they could appreciate you as I do. Yet, in those moments, I am reminded of the selfishness that lurks within me and the realization that I could never truly offer you what you deserve.

Even as I acknowledge the impossibility of us being together, know that my affection for you remains unmatched—that no man can make me like them as how I liked you. And though we never met, I take solace in the knowledge that a piece of you will always reside in my mind

[versouisse]

How are you?

Every morning, my day begins with a glimmer of hope, anticipating the possibility of seeing your name appear in my notifications. Though silence has settled between us, I find solace in the knowledge of your presence, however distant it may be.

I understand that what we shared may not have been particularly special, and I harbor no expectations for you to continue appearing in my life. Your well-being remains a priority to me, and if stepping away is what you need, I fully respect your decision.

All I desire is for your happiness and fulfillment. Please remember to look after yourself and your family always.