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HUMANITY WILL HURT YOU & LOVE YOU & CRY WITH YOU; ON THE WORLD LOVING YOU

the good place // unknown author // sally rooney // judas h. (@judas-redeemed) // coldplay // unknown

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We finally did it, y’all! We’re married 💍

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It shatters my heart that gay people centuries ago lived and died thinking the life they wanted was nothing but an impossible dream, and I’m perpetually heartbroken that very little record of them exists. And while I think about this A LOT, I never really knew how to express it until I stumbled upon that Sappho quote:

“Someone will remember us, I say, even in another time.”

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If I had a nickel for every time a queer male character had his sexuality exposed via emails, I’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it’s happened twice

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Sydney Mortimer Laurence (American, 1865–1940)

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“i’ll be so lucky to have you” is such a beautiful line. himi knowingly returns to a world that is destined to consume her in the fires she holds dear, all because they’re also the very doors that’ll bring mahito into existence.

and that’s the enduring essence of miyazaki’s works: life, through all its suffering and misery, is still worth living. through the people we love and the memories we cherish, we search for and find our reasons to live.

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風の谷のナウシカ (Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind), 1984

天空の城ラピュタ (Castle in the Sky), 1986

となりのトトロ (My Neighbor Totoro), 1988

千と千尋の神隠し (Spirited Away), 2001

ハウルの動く城 (Howl's Moving Castle), 2004

崖の上のポニョ (Ponyo), 2008

風立ちぬ (The Wind Rises), 2013

君たちはどう生きるか (The Boy and the Heron), 2023

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Moments in time, preserved through sentiments Twitter | Ko-Fi | Patreon

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Katniss, during almost the entirety of the trilogy: I don't want kids but I want Peeta to have children so much. He is so dad-shaped it hurts, Imagining his kids running in the meadow in 12 brings me so much joy..

Peeta: has never, not once,expressed any desire to have kids before the epilogue

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Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013 - 2021) ⏤ 5.10, Game Night

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Captain Holt was the first time I ever saw a powerful queer person on my TV whose queerness mattered without it being their only defining quality. Powerful, smart, funny, queer, a lil autistic. He was the ultimate comfort character.

rest in peace Andre.

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The Polar Express is uncanny to YOU. To me the humans all look awesome and really well animated, it is very beautiful and magical and a part of my childhood that I could never be mean to. Also the steam engine is like the most beautiful thing ever and I think they deserve lots of coal for being so good at their job.

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The polar express movie feels like a ancient cosmic entity that's always existed even before time. I can't explain it it just feels as if it's all encompassing, unknowing. Ethereal even.

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"Every time someone steps up and says who they are the world becomes a better, more interesting place." 🫶🏳️‍🌈

My tribute to Andre Braugher, thank you for Captain Raymond Holt ❤️✨

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No but YOU don't understand. Peeta, who's never been anyone's priority being Katniss’ first choice in all three books is something very important to me.

In The Hunger Games, when Peeta's name was called in the reaping, no one volunteered for him including his older brother who is not only old enough to participate but also a better wrestler than him. Even in the arena, Haymitch chose to keep Katniss alive over him. And the only person who prioritised him was Katniss herself. She chose to keep him alive when he was dying. She chose to die with him by eating the poisonous berries. She chose to go as far as defying the Capitol and President Snow to protect him.

In Catching Fire, once again, we heard his family would mourn if he died but they'll eventually move on. Other victors only keep him alive to form an alliance with Katniss. And Peeta still got captured by the Capitol in the end. But Katniss’ first priority was keeping Peeta alive. She made a pact with Haymitch to protect him. She was ready to kill Finnick or anyone on the spot if they dared to hurt him. She clawed Haymitch for not rescuing him over her. She became suicidal when he was captured.

In Mockingjay, Peeta lost his family. Then President Coin and other rebels didn't want to keep him (and other captured tributes) alive. And the only person who was visibly devastated over his capturing and hijacking was Katniss, again. And in the end, she finally chose him over Gale. And ultimately chose to be with him for the rest of her life. She gave him the family he lost and he became the family she lost.

“No one really needs me,” he says, and there's no self pity in his voice. It's true his family doesn't need him. They will mourn him, as will a handful of friends. But they will get on. Even Haymitch, with the help of a lot of white liquor, will get on. I realise only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me.

“I do,” I say. “I need you.”

— Catching Fire

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people often use snow’s experiences with lucy gray as an explanation for how he engages with katniss, but i think that the true story of his downfall lies not in how lucy gray and katniss are similar, but rather in how they are different.

snow knew that it was never him that made the games what they are. it was lucy gray, with her scrappy, passionate artistry, that put on the show that kept people watching. more importantly, it was lucy gray that put on the show that kept HIM watching. all he ever did was give her the stage.

ergo, snow recognizes that the person with the power to usurp him is his natural counterpart, someone like lucy gray, who possessed both the charisma and humanity that he sorely lacks. however, in his mind, those traits are not real; they’re performed in order to obtain power. how could he know better, when he’s never experienced them himself, and the only person he ever truly believed possessed them betrayed him?

so snow keeps his eye out for performers, people with gravitas who could capture the heart of the nation, and squashes their spark as soon as he can. people like haymitch. people like finnick.

and that’s where snow goes wrong. he doesn’t see katniss’ similarities to lucy gray from the start, because while they both demonstrate astonishing, intriguing bravery at their reapings, their actions and motivations are completely different. lucy gray is motivated to perform by anger for herself, and katniss is motivated to sacrifice herself by fear for her sister.

but then katniss starts to put on a show for the audience, kissing peeta and being willing to die with the berries at the end of the 74th games. snow starts to see an entirely different side of katniss that resembles lucy gray to a concerning degree. he sees how, with peeta at her side, she could beguile the nation the same way lucy gray had. and, even worse, she was using the poor, helpless boy who had the misfortune of falling in love with her to survive. the moment katniss started performing, he finally sees lucy gray within her. but it’s already too late.

by catching fire, katniss is the spark fanning the flames of the resistance, but snow fails to understand why. as far as he’s concerned, katniss’ star power comes from her connection to peeta. he tries to weaponize their “love” for his own gain, but it doesn’t work, not because people don’t believe that she loves peeta, but because, for the first time, a victor offers her winnings to the family of a fallen tribute.

snow is caught in a catch 22 of seneca crane’s making—if he kills katniss, she becomes a martyr. but if he lets her live, she’ll be a revolutionary icon. either way, she’s the spark. so he has no choice but to allow the spark to flicker, just for a little while. enter the 75th games. snow knows he needs katniss to die a tragic death in the games. more specifically, he needs it to be a brutal death at the hands of a tribute, not the gamemakers, because he understands that as long as the districts see the capital as the one who ended the life of katniss everdeen, she’ll still be a martyr.

but snow still doesn’t get it. in the quarter quell, the prey does not become predator. katniss’ allies protect her, ensuring she survives until district 13 rescues her. why would they protect this girl, assuming such a steep personal risk? why would they put everything on the line for a revolution they personally stand to benefit little from? he doesn’t know. but he does know that lucy gray katniss is at the center of it all, so he tries to eliminate what makes her look best: peeta.

and that is snow’s fatal mistake. what he, coin, and everyone but haymitch fail to understand is that it was never peeta that made katniss look good—it was katniss, who befriended and put faith in rue. katniss, who recruited mags, wiress, and beetee as allies. she is the source of revolutionary inspiration. it isn’t her charisma or even her compassion, and it certainly isn’t how well she performed those virtues.

katniss becomes the mockingjay because of her solidarity.

lucy gray was charismatic, like peeta, and compassionate, like both peeta and katniss, but she did not demonstrate solidarity. she was never truly “district” in the way katniss is. she showed kindness to jessup, not because he was from 12, but because he showed kindness to her. lucy gray left behind everything and everyone she loved when she left coriolanus, because she was first and foremost a survivor.

katniss was a survivor her whole life, but she survives exclusively to ensure the people she loves are protected. she always does what she can for people more vulnerable than herself. lucy gray couldn’t have sparked a revolution on her own because she lacked the solidarity that makes a hope for a better future authentic to others. katniss is the human manifestation of solidarity, and to a people divided by a common enemy, that’s the most inspiring thing a person can be.

only in the end, when katniss shoots coin, does snow realize none of it was a performance. choking on the blood of his countless adversaries, snow’s final moments are consumed by what he got wrong. what made lucy gray and katniss different ends his reign, but ironically, the final nail in his coffin is an act that both lucy gray and katniss share in their last moments with snow. they both prove, unequivocally, that he is not the center of their worlds like they are his. lucy gray put her own survival before her love for him, and katniss puts the future of her nation before her hate for him. in the end, he simply doesn’t matter. and that’s greater justice than could have ever have been achieved if katniss had fired her arrow into his heart.

the greatest enemy to coriolanus snow could only be the person who reignited the embers of a dying revolutionary fire, who demonstrated to a broken people that while one spark alone might not be enough, thousands of sparks uniting in solidarity is an unbeatable force.

and really, he should have known better. after all, fire melts snow.

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Need this tweet framed on my wall lol.