vettech9587-blog - Tumblr blog

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Just another day, another shit-tastic day. I'm not good enough at my job. And the other techs mostly just one is talking shit. No matter how nice I am. Im shit.

I wish I were just dead.

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Baby daddy is an adshole.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

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I quit a good job. To be put in a crappy

Job, that doesn't pay well, that I'm going to have to wind up working full time at. Some people already don't like me. I can feel it. Or is that just the bipolar getting its hold on me? Like I understand I should not leave a case unfinished, but I have a daughter I have to go pick up. And I can't just stand there like an asshole, but I also can't just be pushed aside either. Idk. Fuck it. Maybe I should find another job instead. Idk what to do. I left a job where I was making very good money for this place where I'm making not as much money and I feel pathetic at. At least at the other place I only got yelled at because they were up front about my incompetence. Idk. Im gonna go job hunt again.

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Am I a Drug Addict?

All I want is to feel the reslease of pain or anger. 

I cut myself (not badly, umfortunetly to me) for the first time in idk how long. 

the knife was a POS.

So I opted to take 10 mg of vicodin and 4 mg of xanex together. Mostly because I ran out of Valium.

The valium works better than the Xanex. 10 mg. 5 min after taking it, i was instant calm. Instant numb. I felt so much better. 

I asked my doctor for it before, but he said no. IDR his answer as to why. But, I am going to try and get more from my primary. Because I liked it so much better as an instant PRN mood stablizer than xanex. 

Im seeomg all my typos. So i know i a, not completely with it.

Most people would ask, why not smoke pot.

Pot makes me paranoid, maks my head spin, makes me want to vomit. last batch i had, made me straight up halucinate. WHICH is an ideal for some, but for my bipolar brain, its not. 

ive tried drinking, but not to be a finicky person. im not that big of a wine drinker, i prefer tequila, and ammeratto. 

all i want is to feel that nu,b feeling, where all of the pain, the anger, the manic, goes away. a spot where nothing bothers me. Where I can just. Exsist.. 

I used to do cocaine. 

Ive thought about it from time to time, to get more again, but i dont think i can go down that road again. 1. its super expensive. 2. im afraid ill become addicted to it. 

But i enjoyed it so much.

I was happy on cocaine. I was like a rush of mania that never crashed. 

So, instead of cocaine, im going to ask my primary for Phentermine. which is a weight loss pill that acts like cocoaine, but i dont have to snort it. I work harder on it. I dont feel any pain, paranoia. or depression while on it. It’s just, being abl to work and lose weight and consentrate. 

Sometimes, I wonder if Im ADHD. 

Some days I wonder when my fiancee will call it quits with me. 

I just want to be normal again. 

adventerous.

not this dumb sad bitch on the couch who stopped giving a fuck about verything. 

but the high right now, its nice. i know it wont last long. but its all i had left. 

I hired my lawer today. and i need to come up with $2500 for a retainer for him to take my case because of the argment my daughters sperm doner and i are in, because I want to move. I want to better my life.

my father is dying, and If i dont get my shit together now. Ill be homeless. and I want to GTF away from my family members. They mean nthing to me, they are trash. 

but thats a later story.

I hop that after i prove myself at work when my 90 days are up they will give me a raise big enough to help me move. Or i eill have to get a second job. waiting tables or something. which is gonna suck. because of my night time meds. But if I can get a bar job, i know I can get tips like crazy. 

maybe, ill make an “accounting” account. Ill talk to my man about it. because he would have to be involved. 

wish me luck. 

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I haven't had sex in a year. And I'm fucking engaged.

It's pathetic.

I'm frustrated.

I'm depressed

And he's doing nothing to change it.

[vettech9587-blog]

Better

Things have gotten better. Hopefully the pandemic at work is over. Almost our entire staff came down with COVID. I've had it twice, so, I'm pretty much in the clear from it, but they insist I keep getting tested every time someone pops up positive.

I've started. New medication. And it seems to be helping me with my panic attacks and worries through the day.

It's also supposed to help me lose weight, thata what I'm really hoping for. 😔

Lots of emergencies came in tonight. Vaccine reaction here, a surgery accident there. It was nuts.

But I was helpful. And In that moment, I was happy. I knew I was where I belonged in the tech world. In Veterinary medicine. The hours suck. The pay ain't great. But the adventure and patients are what I live for.

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I had the Corona Virus

Ive been out of work. I’ve been cautious. But both my daughter and I both caught the Corona Virus. IT sucked, but it got better pretty quickly. We only had mild cases. thank god. But, it put me out of work for a month on 2 jobs. Now I am only down to 1 job because Dr. Sara is a thunder cunt. saying that makes me feel a lot better. That’s ok though. Because I got the job at the animal hospital that I really wanted to be at. And with that, there coes growth. And I will be able to grow there as my daughter grows up and I can be there for longer hours, possibly make more money. I mean, hell, my starting pay is more than Dr. Sara was paying me to begin with. Though, i am only working part time.

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When I was a zookeeper intern. Feeding Capies!

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Good morning kisses from my dogs. #dogsofinstagram #dogkisses #attackofthetongue

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Being groomed by my cat.... #catsofinstagram

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Swimming today. She does so good with the floaty vest, next step is the arm floaties. #learningtoswim #ilovemydaughter #mydaughterismyworld #swimming #swimmingtime

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You did the best you could for that patient, and that’s what matters. As long as you give it everything you got, that’s what matters. You’re gonna have a lot of patients who’s names you’ll remember, and be pretty pissed that some you couldn’t save like this one. But as long as you did everything you could, that’s the thing that defines a good vet from a bad vet. Not giving up when it seems hopeless. Never turn them away, and never give up.

Lost a patient today...

This morning at 6AM I went into the ICU at the teaching hospital to do my morning treatments on the two cardio patients that we had in there. I went over to patient number 2 to take her outside for her morning walk. She seemed excited to see us. She got up, wagged her tail, shivered a bit in anticipation of getting outside. She looked great! She was scheduled to go home at 8am.

She died at 6:23AM.

Just the day before she had had surgery to close up a patent ductus arteriosis. The surgeons made this surgery look easy. Everything went great. The device was perfectly in place. It was only 50 minutes cut to close. No complications. No issues. It was perfect. 

She was doing great after surgery. No temperature. No difficulties breathing. No arrhythmia. Eating heartily. 

This morning after getting her leash around her neck, we called for her to step out of the kennel. She seemed hesitant at first, but she was a shy dog so we expected as much. As soon as she stepped out of the kennel she collapsed to the floor. At first we thought she had only slipped, so we went to pick her back up. Immediately we noticed she bent her head back, rolled her eyes, and lost control of her bladder. We dropped to the ground to begin chest compressions & called for help. Technicians ran over. We got her up onto the table and kept doing compressions, got her on oxygen, and trying to get her heart to restart.

In the background I could hear someone calling my resident to tell him what was going on, but I remained focused on one thing: her. Keep her heart pumping. Is she breathing? Keep her heart pumping. Who cares if your arms are getting tired, she needs you. Keep her heart pumping. She’s breathing on her own now? Her palpebral reflexes came back. Don’t get your hopes up just yet. Keep her heart pumping. Keep her heart pumping. Keep her heart pumping.

People jumped in to trade places periodically to do compressions. 

After 20 minutes they called time of death.

She was only 7 months old. She was scheduled to go home at 8AM. She was excited to see us. Her surgery had went well. 

We still don’t know what went wrong.

We did radiographs and an echocardiogram on her body to see if the PDA device had moved; it hadn’t. It was still intact. Her overnight ICU record showed she was doing great.

We still don’t know what went wrong.

I watched as my resident called the owners and told them to not make the drive up to the A&M… that he had bad news. I heard them crying over the phone. It broke my heart all over again. Just 10 hours prior we had given them great news, told them they could bring her home tomorrow morning.

We still don’t know what went wrong.

I’m sorry I couldn’t keep her heart pumping.

I’m sorry we don’t know what went wrong.

I’m sorry.

I’m so so sorry.

[vettech9587-blog]

BAM!!!! IN YOUR FACE!

I got a wolf puppy

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I HAVE HEARD SO MANY OF THESE!!! Especially the pen one.

Sh*t my veterinarians have said

1. I wish we could neuter some of our clients. 2. Here go put these testicles on Dr. J’s phone. I wanna see if he gets them in his ear before he notices them. 3. Grab your phone I wanna video this abscess and put it on YouTube. 4. I’m gonna use the 3.0. No the 2.0. No the 3.0. Fuck it just give me both and I’ll figure it out later. 5. I suture better than God. 6. That might be the prettiest kidney I have ever seen. 7. Why are there testicles on my desk? 8. Is this your pen? That’s a nice pen. This is my pen now. 9. Does anyone know how to fix the blood machine? I think I broke it. 10. While cleaning maggots out a wound…“Damn, I could really go for some Chinese food right now.” 11. Four years of college, four years of vet school, 250,000 in students loans. Knowing how to give a fractious cat an enema…priceless. 12. If one more client jokingly says they helped put kids through college, I’m going to punch them in the head. 13. Is that anal glands or chocolate on my scrubs? Smells like chocolate. I don’t remember eating chocolate. 14. I hope the new puppy exam has a hot owner. 15. Whomever created Web MD should die. 16. I’m pretty sure the tech’s are smarter than me.

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Basic Radiographic Thoracic Anatomy of Dog and Cat

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Basic Abdominal Radiographic Anatomy of Dog and Cat

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Right before 2016 starts: Here you have the most common causes of abortion in large animals!