victor--fuentes

[victor--fuentes]

when you’re caught eating someone you’re not supposed to

[victor--fuentes]

[victor--fuentes]

Still a little pissed I can’t fly or set things on fire with my mind

[victor--fuentes]

basketballs smell gross 

[victor--fuentes]

Give me your oversized hoodies and tshirts I’ll sleep in them forever

[victor--fuentes]

[victor--fuentes]

A walrus’s reaction after receiving a fish cake for his birthday

[victor--fuentes]

[victor--fuentes]

[victor--fuentes]

my friends sister was telling me about how in highschool a guy tried to take a picture up her skirt as she was walking up stairs and she saw, grabbed his phone, broke it in half, and handed it back to him and said “you can tell your mom why your phones broken”

[victor--fuentes]

[victor--fuentes]

[victor--fuentes]

what if childbirth is just the pain of the 9 periods you missed

[victor--fuentes]

you know girls can tell when you look at their boobs

i don’t care how quickly you glance, 1 second is like 5 seconds in boob time

so, for relativistic boobtime, where t is the observer, and t’ is the time measured at the boob. t=t’/sqrt(1-(v/c)^2) solving for t=1, and t’=5, we get that the boobspeed, v, is represented by v=+/- (6*10^8)sqrt(6)i m/s

boobs travel at 1.5 gigametres per second in the complex direction.

[victor--fuentes]

i literally say fuck so often i’m starting to think we need a new word that’s more offensive than fuck

[victor--fuentes]

A cup of hot tea really heals ur soul this is true science

[victor--fuentes]

i’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it badly enough that it’s not funny anymore