vigneshpugazh

[vigneshpugazh]

Snippets of my FB Posts...

On KB... December 23, 2014..

From 1965 to 2006, The journey started in Black & White and transforming in to the Modern Cinema; Show casing different aspects of life through his films. Revolutionized the Industry through his Bold Women Centric movies; which is only prevalent in Novels. Kalki & Aval Oru Thodar Kathai for instance.

Introducing some memorable artists to the Industry who carved a legendary status to themselves - Kamal, Rajini & Prakash Raj. And also proving people wrong by making Nagesh the protagonist of his movies when MGR & Sivaji were in their primes. Always a change; Always a visionary.

No one has used the power of music so intertwined with script so effectively than him. A lesson to any aspiring director. And his Movies are time immemorial. Pick any movie & you will definitely relate some part of it to your lives.

Such was his brilliance in making movies & If Tamil Film Industry can feel proud of making very different scripts & impactful movies today - the Corner stone was laid  six decades back.

I, for one will watch his movies anyday & still feel fresh about it. Definitely the end of an era.

K.Balachander - Thank you!

On JJ.. December 5, 2016..

Komalavalli - that's where it all started. As the tradition goes, she had to have an another name.

If only Komalavalli had reamained Komalavalli. We would have seen a great lawyer defending the law of the nation. But then, the story was different.

Komalavalli had to become Jayalalithaa. Not some one defending laws, but some one enforcing a lot.

And she did. With a great respect and demeanour that would take a lot of people to even think, let alone execute.

May be she could have remained as one of the greatest performer that Tamil and other language film industry could have ever had. She was. She danced. She sang. She acted. She mesmerised. She came across as an aura that any actress after her tried to emualate. We celebrated. We enjoyed. We loved her.

But then, in retrospect, as we know her, she cannot be stopped with a three hour drama that people enjoyed seeing and clapping about. She wanted to make it real what her political mentor aspired for. She wanted to do things that her mentor did on screens. She wanted to take forward what her great guru left unfulfilled.

That's where begun the greatest journey. A journey that many envy of. A journey that many would try to emulate. A journey that would never fade away.

Be it her bold decisions to run the government, be it her audacious plans to make TN the greatest State, Be it her ruthless attitutude to make it the safest state to live in, She did it. She did it with a great success. Great panache that would only be a dream to many.

I personally have come to admire her as a personality that would stand as an epitome of courage and boldness. So much so that, the Oxford should consider changing the synonym of this words?!

May be a few mis-steps, may be a little greed.. Who cares. We are all humans.

And this day would remain in many as the day to remember a great human being, a leader, a personality, a swag and an idol that my generation has grown up with.

After all, as Aaranya Kandam qouted..

'The Best thing about being a Woman, is that, its a Man' world'.

Salute - Ms.Jayaram Jayalalithaa.!!

On MSD.. January 5, 2017..

This guy never ceases to surprise me.

If some one had asked me when He walked in at Number five on the most important day of any Indian Cricket fan, I would have called it insane. But, when the ball sailed over the long-on,  to define a moment that will be remembered by my generation and generations to come, I was surprised.

And when we were 2-0 down and when the cold Melbourne wind can shiver any Indian at 10 degree celisius... He shocked you with the announcement of retiring from the longest form of the game. I was surprised. Not shocked.

And when the best of the top order and middle order had failed you.. And when you thought the match was over(though we lost)... He came in to score a 113 (not out)in a city that still does not know what winter means,  I was surprised. Amazed. And I wrote my first FB post on him.

And when all was at stake.. And when an inexperienced team was playing the moment of their life.. And when his long hair defined him more than what we know him for today.. And when I was in a train listening to a tuned in radio that Joginder Sharma is going to bowl the last over.. It shocked me. But, when Sreesanth took the catch from the bat of the most profilic finisher in the game, I was surprised at his ploy.

Be it the instinct, be it the voices on mic, be it the presence of mind behind the wickets, be it the confidence of finshing the match, be it the humbleness of winning a trophy and be it the candidness of the situation, this guy never ceases to surprise me.

And when In shorts(thanks to the App that I have downloaded), informed that, he has stepped down as the captain of the shorter formats of the game, it did not shock me. It surprised me and amazed me.

So himself, as he has always been.. Always selfless.. Always futuristic(He would have made a great CEO of any Indian Company that lacks his vision).. Always the topic of an anecdote.. Always an example...

2019 World Cup or the 2017 Champions Trophy.. I don't want to speculate the same way any Indian daily would do.. But, I am happy. And I am happy as long as the Wickets are safe guarded by a Ticket Collector from Ranchi and I am overwhelmed as the person from the generation that lived through this un-like Indian incidents, especially in Indian Cricket!

Cheers, MS.Dhoni.!

[vigneshpugazh]

4 Years & 11 months..

“4 Years & 11 months Tara.. You should have waited”, I tell her.

She listened to it, smiling & blushing (maybe). She knows what I mean, but she does not convey anything. Her eyes; expressionless, that’s what I hate. I have spoken to her on multiple things; my past, my present, my silly flirt-ish talks. But her eyes were always steady, clear, expressing nothing & that challenges me. That angers me. Why doesn’t she tell me something?! May be what she feels about me?!

Months back…

I feel like a stranger. I had left a bigger firm; a bigger cubicle to some place that I am not even sure about where it is going to lead me. I feel claustrophobic. The place is as tall as me; may be a little taller. I do not have my cubicle. Unknown places and Unknown people. Should I talk to them?! Should I ask them if there was any need?!! Will they even respond?!!

And, then there she was. She, wearing a Black sleeveless T shirt with a Grey blazer on it; purchased at Zara (She told me later; months later in fact), her toe nails polished green, her lipstick that complements her best feature & speaking on her Nokia phone; commanding her team to do something that I do not understand. I see her; walking along the aisle of the cubicles; slim, beautiful, elegant & enigmatic that can take your breath away for a moment.

I took an immediate liking. A sweet little crush may be. I saw in her eyes an unsaid sorrow; that she perhaps has not told anyone. A graceful smile that warms you up & gives you an inner joy. A deep musical voice that makes you listen to her again & again. And the eyes again, neatly enhanced with mascara & eyeliner that tells you million things that are hard to comprehend.

We talked then eventually. First on business, then on many other things. She told me about her business, guided me on many things, helped on the data I needed. I listened to her telling me about her Husband (Did that word break my heart?!) one day; with so much courage & attitude that baffled me. And I understood she was someone; one of a kind that has qualities that you would normally not find. I knew I was seeing someone special.

We took an immediate liking to each other. I assume again because she never tells me. I liked her in every aspect. We started spending time on the office terrace that overlooks the every busy Marine Drive road of Mumbai. We spoke most of our thoughts & secrets there; away from the eyes of the colleagues that we never really cared or liked much. We walked one day to eat an ice cream at naturals. We walked a long way to her favorite Pani Puri shop that we found was closed later. Oh, yeah that day. She was in a Pink & sandal transparent sari that was an epitome of being cherubic.

We eventually became close. There was no doubt why I trusted her. She made me feel human again. She made me feel things that I have not felt in many years. She made me talk. She made me do things for her. She was changing me; I can see that but I loved it. She made me vulnerable to her.

It was all-well, until I decided, it was time for me to leave Mumbai. There are many things that I would cherish in Mumbai, but there was only one thing or someone that I would miss. The small little talks that we had sitting in our cubicles.  The huge understating that we had when we looked at each other briefly & knew why we even came to office that day and that secretive winking that she gave me one day. That is what I am going to miss; an incomplete feeling.

After so many requests & pleadings; we went there, to Colaba Social. She was as stunning as she ever was. A Black half-sleeve shirt tucked in to a grey skirt. We sat there in the bar counter; ordering a beer for me & a Margarita for her. I frankly have never enjoyed being with anyone else.

We start talking & talking on many other things; as usual. I ask her, “When did you get married Tara?”

“2011”, She tells me.

“4 Years & 11 months Tara.. You should have waited”, I tell her.

[vigneshpugazh]

My take on ‘Vikram Vedha..’..

The trailer was as powerful as it can get. It was a perfect set up for what was to unravel as a masterpiece in recent times, with the benefit of hindsight now. Pushkar & Gayathri made a comeback after almost a decade.

And we did really expect this movie and waited in anticipation , not for them, but because it had two of the most loved actors in Tamil Cinema. They are probably the only two actors who do not have an opposing fan base and have successfully managed to carve out a clear, niche field for them.

Madhavan(Vikram) & Vijay Sethupathi(Vedha).

Vikram has a very cool entry scene, with cheeky dialogues and an unusually casual attitude for a cop. He is mocking his peers for wearing uniform to work. He is funny. He turns cold when it’s needed. He is romantic with his wife, but a bit cunning too. He has set goals, rules and ideals in life that he follows, but does not shy away from changing when he encounters a learning phase. Personally, Vikram is my favourite character as the writers have done a brilliant job in actually creating a character arc that develops over time. You empathise with him. You sympathise with him. And you celebrate him.

On the other end, Vedha is the one who you fall in love with. He perhaps has the best entry scene that Tamil cinema has managed to crack in a very long time. He is the idealist with a fine balance. The one who knocks out the conscience in the other characters. And selfish and cunning with an unconditional love that’s reserved for a few. He is the one you would want to be.

Both Madhavan and Vijay Sethupathi have done utmost justice to what the writers wanted. Perhaps, sometimes you tend to think the writing was enhanced when they actually shot them both in scenes and as the characters developed. They were absolutely natural and fit in so perfectly that you live with them. They leave you searching for adjectives to appreciate their performance.

Priya(Shraddha Srinath) forced to tread a fine line with the love for her Husband and her love for an aspiring career is the one you see in admiration. The clarity that she has in such a predicament is another testimony to how the writer duo had dealt their characters. Strong, loving and the powerful interjection for the two leading men in the story. And Shraddha Srinath pulls that off with yet another wonderful performance that I have seen in U turn and Ivan thanthiran.

When you have loaded yourself with the Burden of writing such powerful characters, How do you use them?! What do you make them do?! What’s the story?! And when you ask those questions, and then you realise that the Writers are the ones who gave you Oram Po, you know, you are in for a treat. It’s the typical good vs Evil story loosely based on the Vetala stories written in the 11th Century or is there any good and evil at all that we should define. And that must have been the one line that the duo would have told.

The narrative is a simple non-linear screenplay typically seen in a neo-noir style of films. The frames are moving fast. The dialogues make you laugh and keep you hooked. Though, you tend to guess bits of what’s coming next, the twists and turns that writers have managed to aptly place in, makes you sit at the edge of the seat.

Coupled with this is the Background score. It’s dark. It’s loaded. It’s powerful. It thrills you. It mesmerises you. And leaves you hanging in there, in the narrative as if you are a part of it. The music rings in you, like its forever and long after you have left the Cinema Hall. You are going to hum it the whole day.

On a whole, It’s a fantastically written movie with a perfect execution by the actors. It’s an experience; you realise the impact only after you walk out of the hall and when you discuss with your friends. An experience that will make you want more of it.

This will go down as one of the greatest movies in Tamil Cinema that will be talked about even after decades, like we talk about a Nayagan or a Thalapathy!.

[vigneshpugazh]

'What the hell did I read now?!

I have managed to go almost by 35K above sea level. All I can see is a vast ocean of clouds. Are they telling a story to me?! Or am I trying to decipher something so I can make this blog an interesting read?! But I am sure of one thing, I like it here. 

I do not instinctively open my Facebook and check  my feed. I do not have to be curious and open the App to check if they have liked my post. Though, I would go back and do the same thing if I find this blog good enough to post. I do not get interested or curious or angry for my What's App notifications. My emotions towards that depends on who that person might be. By now, I have managed to crack a pattern on who messages at what time and I pretty much make right assumptions without having to look at it. Will we all get that one surprise message that could change things?And so many other things that smart phones and social media remind you these days.

It's 'Freedom at 35000 feet'.

"Your coffee Sir, Sorry to have kept you waiting". She smiles at me. And I did not know I could get Coffee here. And as I start sipping... I forget what I should write about. And I am still not able to figure out why I started writing. I look around. I see a completely white shade of clouds now. No trace of the Blue colour that we have been taught about since primary class. Tell me now. Who compliments who?! The clouds to the seas or the seas to the clouds?! 

I look around again for  more inspiration. I see strips of light in yellow colour. Definitely not the sunlight. Do not assume. I understand. I am going no where. Time to call this blog something. And it's high time I make this about something, so there is a story to it. 

And when I feel more restless about it and when the caffeine that I had takes its effect, I start becoming conscious. Now, I can see things much better. I have actually not managed to come here by myself. Captain Kevin as Cabin Lead Aahna mentioned has flown me here. 

And do not assume again. I am not on my Private Jet with all the comforts of one Pilot and just one Air Hostess for me. I am on a Spice Jet flight, The economy class, just like 130 others on board. I have not been served the Coffee. I have bought it for Rs.100 to wake myself up.

'Assumptions and Human Beings'...

I see a New India Assurance ad right infront of my seat and also a LIC Ad in more bigger size at the panels that divide the cabin crew space and the passenger space. Insurance Ads?! What a way to comfort and re-assure you, when you are flying at this level?! And this is what we call 'Height' of Competition, dont we?! 

I have also managed to complete the in-flight magazine. Two questions baffle me. Why are there so many ads for universities and colleges?! Which parent decides the future of their kids in Stratosphere?! And I wish to meet them. But even more, I would really like to meet the Marketing team of this colleges, just to understand the logic. I like the way you assume I am being  cynical and condescending here. No. Genuine curiosity. 

'The Curious case of Ads'...

Now you see. I have thrown a few things at you. Obsession towards social media when I started writing it. The curious case of Advertising in Airlines. And how our assumptions are affecting the story of life. Pardon me for some philosophy lesson here. I have to write something, right?! 

Anyway now,  does my blog make any sense to you?! I am still figuring out how to steer it ahead. So let us stop here and name it. I have also given a few options for you to choose. But wait, Do you like the title to be a question or a statement?! 

I like questions. Because they give me answers. 

How about we just call it.. 

'What the hell did I read now?!'.. 

[vigneshpugazh]

A conversation with an Un-Cricket Indian : Myth Buster..

I switched on the TV when Kohli and Sarfaraz were waiting for the Toss. Kohli had the coin and I never understood the logic on who should toss it. Pakistan had won the toss and elected to field. An indifferent scenario, I thought. The Pitch was flat, Rain was predicted, no major changes. This was one pitch that was not going to change the course of the match over the course of time.

The first paragraph was the entire cricket I have managed to understand over the years. All the jargons I can bring in to play during a cricket discussion. All the boasting I could do to pose myself as an average cricket, well, semi-analyst.

Until my phone rang that day, alerting me for an incoming call….

I : Do not disturb me.. I am watching the match…

S : Kaunsa(Which) match?!

That was the first moment..

I : L****… India vs Pakistan… Champions Trophy…

S : Oh.. Aaj hai kya?! (Is it today)… Ok.. Ok.. bye.. I will watch..

There it was again… I am at loss of words. There was no sense of remorse. I was wondering, ‘How can one not know that India is playing Pakistan in one of the ICC tournaments?!”. Anti-Indian he was. RSS would have slaughtered him. Modi would have happily deported him to Bangladesh.

And I had my time. Rohit and Dhawan had walked in. Amir had bowled his first over. And Sarafaraz introduced spin in the second over, trying to showcase himself as a genius captain. He was all that day but that. India had already scored 46 runs in the first nine overs, scoring at a run rate that they had done so for the last two years since the World Cup in 2015. That is what they have got good at. Score at a decent pace, save wickets, go all in after the 35th over.

And the English Summer (I still do not understand why they call it so) played its first joke. The rains poured and the covers came in to save the trouble of draining out the water with buckets as they do in many Indian pitches.

Star Sports had its scrolling say – ‘Match Interrupted due to rain. We will back soon’.

And Mayanti Langer was there, as charming and as hot as always but with VVS and Ravi Shastri.

And then my phone beeped. A Whats App message.

S : I do not see anyone playing.. Ravi shastri giving gyan(Lecture)..

So, basically he had not watched the match that he said he would and again has no clue on what was going on. I was searching the encyclopedias of emoticons to reply to that message, that the girls use it so conveniently and swiftly.

My biggest question was…. ‘ Why did he not mention Mayanti Langer?!’

I replied anyway…

I : Dude.. Rain has interrupted the match..

And there came the next ‘Little Boy’… Japanese would have felt happy to be in that situation than I am in right now..

S : Rain?!! Which stadium are they playing?! India mai abhi kahan ho raha hai baarish? (Where is it raining in India now?!)

I should have lost it there but I did give it another chance, hoping it would be better.

I : F*****, The tournament is happening in England and they call it English Summer and it rains there and I still do not understand why they call it so..

And now he connects. He is from Bengal. I am from Tamil Nadu and we know it does not rain in summer.

And I thought I knew Geography..

S : Ha ha ha ha… Chill.. Got it… I will wait..

And the whole of India, Pakistan, the ones who got tickets, the players, the analysts, the umpires, the commentators and the Mayanti Langer……….. Waited for the match to start.. And it did..

India had resumed its batting where they left off. And Pakistan resumed its bowling without any clue of what India was trying to do and Sarfaraz still thinking himself as a genius…

And then my phone beeped again….

S : Dude, Who is the Captain now?! Dhoni or Kohli?!

And that’s when, I did a bottoms up of my large whiskey and gave up on watching the match….. And let him think it’s still….. Sourav Ganguly..

[vigneshpugazh]

Stranger in my Solitude

I said ‘Bye’ & started walking down the Road. It was a wonderful evening. It was a Friday as well and the Brigade Road was swarmed with people. The shops were illuminated. The Pani Puri walas were busier than the Mcdonalds & KFCs. The cold breeze washed my face. I still could not believe what just happened. It was all very fast but I had to admit I enjoyed every moment. My thoughts slowly went back as I started remembering every thing.

A couple of hours back – I was sitting at the Coffee Day on the Brigade Road. It is a beautiful place with stone benches in a slightly high balcony. One can sit there for hours looking at the ever-lively Brigade Road. It was always filled with people. Walking Slowly. Walking Swiftly. Chatting furiously. And couples expressing how compassionate they are. And hawkers trying to sell Rayban Glasses & Manchester United Jerseys.

A guy was sitting behind me on another bench with a crisp white shirt & Blue jean completely immersed in his mobile. I noticed him but pretended I did not. I was also busy texting waiting for my friend to reply. I extracted a book from my bag & started reading it. I was conscious about the guy behind me. But, I am a kind of person who liked to be alone even in a sea of people. I liked to read alone & I liked my contemplative time & too put it simply – I like to be in Solitude. I was enjoying each moment of it until the guy sitting behind me walked up to me & asked – “Do you mind if I sit here?” – He did not wait for my answer and sat right in front of me looking deep in to my eyes.

I was furious. Angry that I have a company now – I blurted – “Who are you?”

He casually replied – “Just a person like you who like to be in Solitude” as if he knew everything about me.

I retorted – ‘Then, Why did you spoil that? Why don’t you just leave me alone?”

He smiled & said – ““Because only people like us know how great it is to have someone for company at times”

It was my turn to smile now. He was speaking the truth.  I started liking him.

That’s how it started – Our so-called little chat. We talked about everything on earth. He likes football & A Manchester United Fan. He admires Roger Federer & one of his things in his bucket list is to watch Federer play Wimbledon from the Royal Box that he believes will never happen. He is a bibliophile & has taken up writing as his new hobby now. We went on & on talking about people. About Politics. About Horoscope. About Niagara falls. About books & About the BMW.

I have never enjoyed anyone’s company as much as I did of his. He was casual, smart & to the point. I started disliking the Solitude. I wished to talk long & on lot more things but only when the darkness filled in & lights started glowing from the shops around me – I realized how long we had talked. I became conscious & checked my mobile – ’17 missed calls & 23 messages’

“Oh God! – I have to leave. I was supposed to meet my friend” I told him.

“Yeah – Alright.” He said.

We shook hands & I said ‘Bye’ & started walking down the Road. It was a wonderful evening. It was a Friday as well and the Brigade Road was swarmed with people………

I am not sure whether I will meet him again. Or Have a long chat like this. But I was just wondering – ‘What if he had wrote about this meeting’? And described me?

Yes – He told me. He writes.

He probably would have written – ‘She slowly walked in & sat in the bench in front of me. She was beautiful. A perfect flawless face with her hairs curled at the end. Her left hand nails were polished red & trimmed to perfection. Her Orangish top & White salwar complimented her look. She took her book……..”

I do not know his name. Nor where he works or what he does. Neither did he ask about all this to me nor did I care to ask him. But – He was the ‘Stranger in my Solitude’ who is making me blush now.

[vigneshpugazh]

Some Place Else...

I came back from the gym and my wife handed me my usual Green tea in a sipper that she had gifted me four decades back. As I sipped my tea – I thought of the day I am going to have today. I had done this every six months since the day I had graduated from my business school. My two friends & me had decided that we would meet once in every six months wherever we might be & take turns in our meeting place which would be the city we had settled in.

This time it was Calcutta – Where I have settled in. But this time it is going to be different. I had never thought our usual get together would be one like this. But the reality strikes your face harder than the excitement fantasy gives.

As I got ready & drove my Volkswagen out of my Parking lot – All those memories came rushing in. I still remember the French bearded, Grey haired, Lazy bugger lying down on his bed with his laptop, water bottle & Wallet. I still remember the spectacled, curly haired tamilian sitting with his copy of ‘Best Kept Secret’ by Jeffery Archer & reading intently. And I still remember the way I barge in to the room without the courtesy of knocking it & invite them for a cup of tea at our roof top canteen. It was all fun!

I was driving along & the signal turned red. It was the Ruby Hospital. A lot of things have changed by now. The place was cleaner. Roads were laid down properly. Auto stands were well furnished. But the teashop with the old lady was missing. It is the same shop where we had sat on a fine Saturday evening and chatted for almost two hours without realizing that we had to return college before 10 PM. It was craziness!

The signal turned green & I moved my car. I turned on my stereo and a Rahman number filled the silence. Ha – How crazy were these two on Rahman! And it struck me how I argued that Rahman was not so great & our discussion started. All it needs for our discussion to start was a little spark. Our discussions usually lasted for hours & we dint spare anyone or anything. Ranging from Game of thrones to Silver Lining Playbook to John Grisham to Rahul Gandhi to Barack Obama to Mark Zuckerberg – It was all insane!

Thinking all that - I had reached the destination - Some place else at the Park Hotel. This has been our usual place whenever we had met at Calcutta. I dropped my keys to the valet who recognised me & greeted me. I walked the corridors remembering our meetings here. I reached the pub to find our usual place occupied. He had not changed much in six months. His already grey hairs had probably gone more greyish. He had put on some weight. A smile crossed his face as he saw me. Our eyes conveyed what we actually felt.  We sat down ordering our usual two large of Teachers Scotch & One large of Bacardi White Rum. As the ordered came – We placed the Rum in front of the unoccupied seat that will never be occupied again & said – “Cheers”!

[vigneshpugazh]

Table No. 23.!

“One Cappuccino take away” – I ordered, before I took my place in the corner of the coffee shop.  I glanced around admiring the dimly lit room with a pleasant odor & walls painted with the works of Da Vinci, Van Gogh & Rembrandt. I felt it was so beautiful as I got completely attracted to them until my eyes caught her sitting on the Table No.23 right across from where I was sitting.

I cursed myself for asking for a take away. I should have ordered it. That would have given me more time to admire that…… Yes – Wonder – I can call that.  She was right there sitting & sipping her cup with such grace & elegance.

She was pretty. Cute. Quite tall than the average height. A whitish brown complexion - what we call the Indian complexion. Her hair was short, trimmed to perfection &  beautifully falling over her body. I could not stop admiring her but I was also aware of a person sitting next to her. So, I took occasional glances & admiring her little by little. And every time I did - It brought a smile on my face.

I got my cup of coffee by then. I asked for two more packets of sugar. An excuse to spend a little more time there. I looked again. She slowly shifted in her place, making herself more comfortable. She looked up & caught my eye. I casually turned away trying to look as if I was not paying any attention to her. That was a wonderful moment. I did not expect her to realize my eyes on her. I did not expect her to pay attention to me, as I know that the whole coffee shop was attracted to her beauty. Her mannerisms. Her body language & Her grace.

I opened my lid to add my usual two packets of white sugar & one packet of brown sugar to my ever-favorite Cappuccino. I started stirring my coffee, taking more time to stay there & took another glance at her. She by then finished her cup & was ready to go. My heart raced fast. My patience slowly reduced. & My urge to approach her increased.

Hold on. I wanted to say a Hi to her. But, will she reply back?!

I wanted to say how beautiful she looks. But, Will she thank me?!

I would like to spend hours talking to her. But, Will she like that?!

I do not know. And neither can I find answers.

As I was contemplating all this – A tall guy in a suit crossed me yelling –‘ Julie….’

She jumped from her seat running towards him on four legs followed by the Man’s wife.

I smiled again admiring the way she ran to her master….

[vigneshpugazh]

My Dream!

Howard Roark is my hero now. I have finished half the book with a lot of struggles. I closed the book & started staring at my ceiling wondering what it is like to follow the dreams irrespective of what others say or the world around want you to be.

Grey hairs. Chubby cheeks with a French beard. The dark complexion of a typical Indian wearing a navy blue tracks & a grey checked shirt with a Tommy jacket over it. Lazily settled under my quilt with my mobile, wallet, laptop, headphones & water bottle. All the things I need with in my reach. Just like a veteran pilot would like to be in his cockpit.

 This is how I would like to describe my current scenario.

I slowly strained my arms to search for the cigarette & lit it. As I filled the atmosphere around me with the nicotine odor, the thought what I have always wanted to be struck again.

I see struggle on a face where others see the smile. I see the beauty in a thing where others see the disgusting part of it. I see the creation behind things where others just enjoy it. But what is the whole point?! – I am only able to think & feel all this. Damn the Howard Roark. He makes me feel horrible. He makes me feel terrible for what he is which I cannot be. I hate him more when he does not teach me how to do it.

 But, will I ever be able to do what I want to do?! Someday at least?!

That is the whole idea. You never know what life has in store. I have studied enough. Struggled enough. Now, I am even ready to work for a Multinational compromising my dream.

But, for what good joy? – I never knew.

Why should I not follow what my heart says?! – I don’t know.

Will I be happy & satisfied with a wonderful family, classy sedan & a duplex without doing what I have always wanted to do?! – I never will.

 As my cigarette nears its funeral – My door threw open & a pair of retinas saw the way I am. A husky English voice with a slightly tamil accent asked me

 “What again?! – Thinking what you always wanted to do?!”

 “Yes”, I replied passing on the last drag to him.