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OP: The difference of the nine tones in cantonese ....Can you actually tell 

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Now I’m a crying 31yo who can’t drive a stick shift or a motorcycle

that's a happy ending, kindness in action can do some good here and there.

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T.H. White, in his 1958 retelling of the Arthurian legend in Once and Future King

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I have been procrastinating on everything this spring so far, including very important things like picking dandelions to make honey. I ran into the owner of the pasture next to mine in town the other day and he said he was going to bring out his cows soon, and asked if everything was OK with the water trough, and I was like ... 😨 the dandelions!!!

I had to get there before the cows. It might sound heartless of me, especially with regard to that one cow named Pissenlit who, as her name suggests, loves eating dandelions, but I have responsibilities. I mean, giving my mums and friends dandelion honey used to be a surprising gift that drew admiring comments, but now it's my job. Now it's "I'm thinking of visiting in mid-April, will the dandelions be out? so I can pick up My Jar, the one I Expect To Receive." I enjoy giving people homemade stuff to be clear, I'm just trying to explain why I couldn't make room in my heart for Pissenlit as I raided the neighbour's pasture the day before she & the other cows arrived.

Also I was listening to a good audiobook while harvesting and it made picking 1000+ dandelions feel quicker than usual—I gathered enough for 15 jars 😊

I added oranges this year rather than grapefruits, and used a bit more sugar, because I'd received some feedback that last year's vintage tasted too bitter. I hadn't realised "too bitter" was a thing, I personally find solace in arugula and adore quinine and chocolate that tastes medicinal. So after straining the dandelion mixture I separated it into two saucepans, a large one and a small one, and I made Cheerful Jelly for people who don't like the taste of their own regrets and a couple of jars of Bitter Jelly for me personally. It goes great with bedtime herbal tea! A couple of spoons added to your mug make your chamomile tea feel somewhat disappointed in you. It's the flavour of late-night introspection.

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my best tip for anyone trying to get back into reading is to remember that you can read books to avoid other responsibilities in ur life and it can become a vice if you play your cards right

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Glennon Doyle, Untamed

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the grok white genocide thing is so funny. like it's clear that musk tried to have the model tweaked to defend the conspiracy theory and whatever they did instead caused it to go rogue and both bring it up unprompted and start debunking it

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this tweet is so layered to me

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i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

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got me good with this whole email address thing. you make email account as child for one purpose neopets.com and now all this. bait and switch. not nice.

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Leaving for the beach today, Penny Rose fell asleep about 5 minutes into our trip. We got caught in about an hour of bumper to bumper traffic and she woke up right after we cleared it absolutely LIVID that we were not at the beach yet. Sorry I can't bend space time girlie I do be trying

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“In 1404, King Taejong fell from his horse during a hunting expedition. Embarrassed, looking to his left and right, he commanded, “Do not let the historian find out about this.” To his disappointment, the historian accompanying the hunting party included these words in the annals, in addition to a description of the king’s fall.“

LMFAOOOOOO rip to that guy

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real adult™ tip from a real adult™ with executive dysfunction

do stuff while waiting for other stuff

like that sounds intuitive and vague but so much of the day is spent in a period of wait and if you struggle to motivate yourself to do things then this is the best time

waiting for your water to boil? bag up your garbage. waiting for your coffee to drip? wipe down your counters. roommate taking up the bathroom? scoop the cat box. waiting for your food to cook in the microwave? do however many dishes you can while it’s in there. 

waiting is the perfect time to do a limited amount of something for yourself where you would be otherwise just standing around doing fuck-all