vinnyfaudera - Tumblr blog

[vinnyfaudera]

shout-out to people who don’t know shit about their system. how many are we? idk. do we have an innerworld? idk. who’s fronting? idk. how much trauma do we have? idk. do we have amnesia? idk. i get you fr

[vinnyfaudera]

Aplatonic Masterpost

(I use italics in this post for stuff that is more my commentary/analysis/etc, as opposed to more “factual” summary)

Aplatonic Definitions & Overview:

“Aplatonic” was coined on AVEN in 2012 in a thread here by a homoromantic Ace who expressed being unable to apply the word “love” to their friendships.

The original coining doesn’t come with a particularly precise definition, and there’s been many discussions regarding differing definitions for it.  The following are two definitions which are often considered accurate for the term:

Definition 1: Aplatonic is an identity for people who experience little to no platonic attraction such that they rarely experience squishes, or desire to form a friendship with specific people.

Definition 2: Aplatonic is an identity for people who struggle to form platonic relationships of any kind, often due to neurodivergency and/or traumatic experiences.

Another definition which has been attributed with aplatonic, but also disputed as a definition, is this:

Definition 3: an identity for people who do not experience attraction such that they would want a queerplatonic relationship.

This third definition would be more accurate for the term “aqueerplatonic”, but was misattributed to the term aplatonic in the past.  However, while this is not an accurate definition for aplatonic, the lines between platonic and queerplatonic attraction can be extremely blurry such that this may be relevant to some aplatonic experiences.

Other notes on Aplatonicism:

Aplatonicism also has an Aplatonic spectrum which includes identities such as demiplatonic and greyplatonic.

Aplatonic is a term generally used by people who are a-spec(Ace or Aro) and/or neurodivergent.

Aplatonic is NOT simply “not having/wanting friends” (it has historically been dismissed as such by exclusionists who mock the term, unfortunately).

Aplatonic can be shortened to “apl”, and thus apples are considered an aplatonic symbol.

(More information and links regarding definitions of aplatonic are below under “Aplatonic Discussions”)

Aplatonic Pride Flags:

[Image Description: aplatonic flag with 4 horizontal stripes which are purple, blue, green, and light yellow/cream from top to bottom]

This was the original aplatonic flag, the oldest surviving link of it is found here, from 2015.

[Image Description: aplatonic flag with 4 horizontal stripes which are black, grey, white, and yellow from top to bottom]

This was an alternate aplatonic flag proposed in 2016 (link here).

(More information on these flags can be found at this link from lgbtq wiki)

Aplatonic Spectrum & Demiplatonic:

Aplatonic Spectrum, or apl-spec, is an umbrella term for people who experience little to no platonic attraction. (AUREA’s definition here)

Aplatonic Spectrum Flags: a masterpost with many aplatonic spectrum identities, their definitions, and their flags.

Demiplatonic Overview: a post I made about my involvement with the term demiplatonic and demiplatonic flags

Experiences Feeling Demiplatonic: a post I did for carnival of aros about why I feel demiplatonic

Aplatonic Discussions:

Over the years, there’s been a lot of misinformation and general lack of clear accurate information regarding this term, such that there’s been many discussions regarding the definition.  As someone who is somewhat younger to the community I probably also contributed to misinformation at times due to the sources I was looking at being themselves inaccurate.  

The above definitions are what I can best summarize from the posts I have seen discussing it but might be influenced by my own experiences and I don’t want to claim expertise and argue those as objective fact, considering how much differing discussion there has been.So, here’s links to various discussions regarding the definitions & misinformation around this term, such that you can assess other sources for yourself.

Links regarding aplatonic definitions & History:

Link 1: “Definitions of Aplatonic” thread on Arocalypse Forums 

Link 2: Tumblr thread refuting “not wanting qpr” definition, with many people adding to discussion.

Link 3: Tumblr thread refuting the “not wanting/having friends” definition that originated by exclusionists, and other misinformation on the term.

Link 4: an older Tumblr post with an infographic of aplatonic, with more recent comments by the OP about inaccuracies.

Link 5: another tumblr thread about the definition of aplatonic and ways people originally used it, and touches on why some people are uncomfortable with non a-spec people using it due to misuse by exclusionists.

Link 6: tumblr thread about aplatonic definitions and it’s usage relating to the a-spec community along with neurodivergency and traumatic experiences.

Link 7: tumblr post discussing who can “use” the term aplatonic and discusses history of how meaning has warped over time.

Link 8: Tumblr short masterpost regarding aplatonic as a descriptor term used by aro community.

Related Terminology:

There are various terms that have similar but different meanings to aplatonic (which also come up in the linked discussion posts.  The word being defined has hyperlink to a source.)

Nonamorous:  a lifestyle choice or relationship style that does not include intimate, long-term partnerships, whether romantic or platonic.

Nonpartnering: not wanting partnered relationships; this is similar to nonamorous but coined in response to some people being uncomfortable with the implied opposite of nonamorous because of romance repulsion.

Aqueerplatonic: not experiencing queerplatonic attraction.

Loveless (aro): a recent term for aros who do not use “love” to describe their experiences, often due to it’s associations with romance and enforcement of amatonormativity. (Sources don’t show a particularly precise definition for this one)

(Additional reading regarding these terms:

-This is one of posts linked before, but I had added onto it with distinctions I perceive between these words and aplatonic

-This is another post discussing nonamory and queerplatonic, and pressures within the community to feel certain ways)

Aplatonic Tags:

(the links are from searching tag & filtering for most recent)

#Aplatonic (general aplatonic tag)

#Actually Aplatonic (aplatonic tag that’s more specific to prevent random & troll posts, so is more of the good quality posts)

#aplatonic spectrum (more specific to aplatonic spectrum stuff)

#apl spec (alternate tag with more specific to aplatonic spectrum stuff though doesn’t have many posts)

#apl positivity (tag for aplatonic positivity stuff or other positivity that is relevant for aplatonic people, I encourage people to use this more)

#demiplatonic (tag for more specifically demiplatonic stuff…. I use this a lot on my blog.  Tag does have some more troll/mocking posts unfortunately though, so bewarned)

#nonamorous (not aplatonic specific but generally tends to have more positivity and other discussions of adjacent topics regarding not having platonic partnerships and stuff)

#loveless aro (another aplatonic-adjacent topic regarding kind of opting out of the concept of love as an obligation/universal human concept)

Aplatonic Blog recs:

These are a mix of blogs I see actively involved in discussions on aplatonic and who I’ve taken notice of from following the aplatonic tag.

@aplatonicsafespace​​ (aplatonic specific blog which answered asks a lot but seems currently inactive)

@aroarolibrary​ (Is a general aro blog which has talked about aplatonic for a long time and has more historical information on the term. I went through eir aplatonic tag and found many of the posts I linked under aplatonic discussions)

@apl-h​​ (aplatonic focused blog)

@aromagni​ (my aro blog, I am demiplatonic so I talk more about apl-spec stuff and have organized tags for things you can search)

@askanaroace​​ (an aroace ask blog ran by an aplatonic person who’s answered asks about aplatonic stuff before)

@kyanitedragon​ (is a general blog that has posted apl headcanons & aesthetics/pride stuff fairly often)

[Feel free to add on to this post with more aplatonic blog recs or other resources!]

[vinnyfaudera]

You are not immoral for not examining/interrogating your kinks. It’s okay if you don’t automatically bow down to the assumption that having a certain kink makes you more likely to be pro IRL bigotry, oppression, violence, or abuse or more likely to commit such acts. You know yourself better than others can know you, regardless of how gaslighters and paternalists and psychiatry stans and pseudoscientists try to rewrite your own life for you and tell you you’re wrong about your own mind and the armchair theorists who assume everyone’s brain and body must work the same way. You don’t owe anyone essays on your personal life.

It’s okay if your kinks don’t originate from trauma or oppression or abuse and have random innocuous causes, or if you have zero idea where they came from, or if you just don’t care about where they came from. You don’t deserve to be erased from the narratives which only talk about privileged violent abusers or oppressed traumatized victims ever having kinks. You are not any less valid or worthy of respect for engaging in kink activities or writing kink-related fiction about fictional characters than a traumatized/“properly” oppressed/more “deserving” kinkster. You owe them nothing. You are not obligated to ask them for validation before you feel validated yourself.

You are not immoral for being okay with your kinks, preferring to be kinky than not kinky, or otherwise overall not viewing your kinks as a tragedy you wish could be cured or which you must suppress. There are no thoughtcrimes.

[vinnyfaudera]

We all love the "becoming the very thing you sought to destroy," trope. but I have a growing fondness for "destroying the very thing you sought to become"

[vinnyfaudera]

Radqueer picrew maker!!!

I found a radqueer picrew maker :3

-💉

[vinnyfaudera]

I love when anons come into my inbox and try to explain my own beliefs to me and try to tell me who God and Jesus can and cannot love. (/sar).

God loves everyone. Jesus loves everyone. The Holy Spirit loves everyone.

Now, can you be a horrible, awful person on Earth and be sent to hell to atone for your sins? Yes. Yes you can. But I don't believe hell is an eternal punishment.

I imagine hell is sort of like a rehab. The punishments aren't "you are being boiled alive" or "you are being constantly maimed and tortured".

The punishments are like "you must now watch the suffering of one of your victims over and over again until you truly and honestly learn your lesson and wish to change" and "you will experience the crippling depression and anxiety of the one you hurt over and over until you know, truly, what you have done to them, and wish to repent."

Now, what does this have to do with God loving all?

Well, two things.

One, it means even after life, God still wants you to change. God still wants your love and for you to be kind and know what you've done wrong and they want your desire to change and be better.

And two, that telling me whose "going to hell" or who "Jesus doesn't love", will not affect me. I know you'll change. I know one day, when you walk along to the clouds towards the pearly gates, you'll be told by God themself where you need to go and either way, you will have left your bigotry on earth by the time you enter heaven.

God loves you, God loves queer folk, God loves paraphiles, God loves transids, God loves radqueers.

God wants antis to change. God wants bigots to change. God wants homophobes and transphobes to change. God wants those who harass people for their identity and tell them to die to change.

So telling me who "Jesus hates" is just an admission that you believe Jesus and God hate you, but they don't. They want you to change because they love you. So don't project onto me, and don't project onto Jesus, and surely don't project onto God. Take a look inside yourself. Do you think your worthy, because you are.

So whether your queer or straight, whether you have a paraphila (including the big three, such as MAPs or Zoos) or you dont, whether your transid or not, and whether you are raduqeer or an anti.

God loves you. They want you to love them. They want you to be kind and open minded. They want you to make earth worth living in.

Blessed be. Amen.

[vinnyfaudera]

one reason i find anti behaviour so wierd is because. Like to me my blog is like my house right? And i decorate my house however I want cos it's my house. Now personally i choose to have my home open to visitors, welcome inside have a seat if you want. Sometimes those visitors look around my house and decide to stay, compliment my choice in decor or talk to me about furniture we have in common. And that's cool. Other times someone comes in, looks around and realises they don't feel comfortable here, so they leave. That's cool too.

Except that's not what antis are doing. Antis walk into your house and start to complain that they find your house fucking ugly and that you should kill yourself because they don't like your couch

[vinnyfaudera]

Mal-Immersive daydreaming disorder | MiDD

Mal-Immersive daydreaming disorder or MiDD Similar to MADD - it’s disorder where the one in question immersive daydreaming to the point daily disruption. For example my daydream got to the point where I was daydreaming whilst walking and even causing me to hallucinate and preventing me to sleep just to daydream. This is similar to MADD in many ways but instead of it being just maladaptive it’s also immersive. MUD coined by us.

Unlike MADD, Daydreaming may have little to no meaning, it’s the copious amount of daydreaming which effects one’s ability to navigate life efficiently.

This is thought of as a coping disorder.

IMaDD is closely related to MaDD, ADHD/ADD, “prosphantasia”, insomnia, DyD, and possibly FPD, and some trauma disorders. One may have overlapping experience and/or possibly possess multiple of these.

Symptoms/signs

Sleep hallucinations

Hyperphantasia

Constant daydreaming

Inability to carry out sometimes even simple tasks without daydreaming

Dependency on daydreaming

Constant issues due daydreaming

Increase in distressing daydreams

Memory issues

Rapid fragmenting memories

Somnia/sleep issues

[vinnyfaudera]

☆ NEW UNLABELLED FLAG ☆

( an identity for individuals not willing to label their gender, sexuality and whatnots as something particular for various sets of reasons )

[vinnyfaudera]

Remember kids! People can show direct signs of being a certain sexuality but still may prefer to identify as unlabeled and that’s entirely okay!

People also choosing not to tell their sexuality to people on the internet not not automatically make them straight,

and people being unlabeled yet being in a queer relationship is still valid!

Not choosing a label/not being transparent to the internet about their personal identity is not queerbaiting and is 100% okay! /srs

(I personally am open about my labels but I have some unlabeled friends and also twitter is awful sometimes and called one of them a queerbaiter for being in a queer relationship without identifying with a label,)

[vinnyfaudera]

Did we just make a whole new fantasy-spec disorder? Yes.

Fantasy Identity Disorder, also known as FID, is a complex psychological condition that manifests as a profound and persistent disconnection between an individual's sense of self and their surrounding reality. Unlike traditional dissociative disorders, FID specifically revolves around the formation and intense attachment to a vivid, elaborate fantasy identity that becomes inseparable from the person's perception of themselves.

People affected by FID often exhibit a deep-rooted desire to live in a world of their own creation, where they assume a distinct alter ego or adopt a fantastical persona. This alternate identity is meticulously constructed, complete with a unique backstory, characteristics, and even supernatural abilities or traits. It serves as a refuge from the complexities and challenges of the real world, allowing individuals to find solace, purpose, and a sense of control within their imaginative realm.

The symptoms of FID can vary in intensity and may include persistent daydreaming, a preoccupation with the fantasy identity, difficulty differentiating between fantasy and reality, and a tendency to withdraw from social interactions. Individuals with FID may spend substantial amounts of time immersed in their fantasy world, engaging in elaborate rituals or role-playing activities that reinforce their chosen identity.

Fantasy Identity Disorder can have a profound impact on various aspects of a person's life. Relationships may be strained, as the individual struggles to balance their real-world obligations with the demands of their fantasy existence. Occupational functioning may be impaired, as the desire to live within the realm of their alter ego conflicts with the requirements of professional life. Additionally, individuals with FID may experience distress and a sense of loss when confronted with the limitations of their real-world circumstances, leading to emotional instability and a yearning to escape into their fantasy world.

Possible causes of FID include:

Childhood trauma or adverse experiences: Early childhood trauma, such as abuse, neglect, or significant disruptions in attachment, can sometimes lead individuals to develop FID as a coping mechanism. Creating a vivid fantasy identity may serve as a means of escape or as a way to regain a sense of control and agency in a world that feels unsafe or unpredictable.

Personality traits and predispositions: Certain personality traits, such as a strong inclination towards imaginative thinking, a high need for escapism, or a tendency towards dissociation, may make individuals more susceptible to developing FID. These traits could contribute to a heightened desire for an alternate reality in which they can freely explore their fantasies.

Social isolation or unfulfilled aspirations: Feelings of social isolation, a lack of belonging, or unfulfilled aspirations in the real world might prompt individuals to seek solace in their fantasies. FID could provide a way to compensate for the perceived deficiencies or unmet desires, offering a sense of purpose and fulfillment that may be lacking in their actual lives.

Media influence and immersion: Exposure to immersive media such as books, movies, video games, or online communities centered around fantasy worlds can play a role in the development of FID. Intense engagement with these fictional realms can blur the line between reality and fantasy, leading individuals to adopt and embody elements of the characters or worlds they admire.

Neurological or cognitive factors: There may be underlying neurological or cognitive processes that contribute to the development of FID. These could involve alterations in self-perception, imagination, or the integration of sensory information, although further research is needed to fully understand these potential connections.

The diagnostic criteria for Fantasy Identity Disorder are as follows:

Persistent preoccupation with a fantasy identity: The individual displays a pervasive and enduring preoccupation with a self-created fantasy identity, often exhibiting an intense attachment to this alternate persona. The fantasy identity is consistently present in their thoughts, desires, and actions.

Impaired differentiation between fantasy and reality: The individual struggles to differentiate between the fantasy identity and their actual identity, frequently blurring the boundaries between the two. This may result in difficulty distinguishing real-world experiences from events and circumstances within their imaginative realm.

Distress or impairment in functioning: The preoccupation with the fantasy identity causes significant distress or impairment in various aspects of the individual's life, including relationships, occupational functioning, or overall well-being. The person's engagement with the fantasy world interferes with their ability to fulfill real-world responsibilities and engage in daily activities.

Escape or avoidance behavior: The individual utilizes the fantasy identity as a means of escape or avoidance from real-world challenges, stressors, or emotional pain. They may actively seek opportunities to engage in fantasy-related activities, rituals, or role-playing to withdraw from or minimize their involvement in reality.

Significant duration: The symptoms of FID persist over a substantial period, typically for six months or more. The individual's engagement with the fantasy identity is not transient or temporary but remains a consistent and prominent aspect of their psychological landscape.

FID may be considered a form of disordered plurality, though this should be assessed by the specific individual(s) with the disorder.

[vinnyfaudera]

Disabled Representation Has Come Farther Than You Think

You’ve Just Been Conditioned Not to See It.

I recently got into a huge fight with an abled friend about disabled representation, in which he was completely convinced that the stance he held was that of an ally. He’s a long time friend of mine and I know he really did think he was fighting for us and coming from a place of trying to help us.

And it really got me thinking about the way abled people perceive disabled people. And how that message is internalised and reinforced in so many ways.

My friend was trying to say that characters like Cyborg, Misty knight, Daredevil, Toph, Edward Elric, Bucky, Nebula, etc were not good representation. And he at first refused to listen to me (an actual disabled person) when I was like; no, we like that. we love that. we LOVE seeing badass and competent and sexy disabled people. It’s validating and empowering.

His argument was that it didn’t really count because nobody saw them as disabled and that it would be the same thing as saying Gamora is black representation.

While I understand where he was coming from, both of us also being black, it was hard to get him to understand how it wasn’t the same thing.

Gamora is a black actress painted green to portray a green-skinned alien. She has black features, yes, but within the narrative she very much is not a black woman. She’s an alien.

But a disabled character is always still a disabled character. Regardless of how high tech or SciFi or magical or fantastical the world or universe is; an amputee with a prosthesis is still an amputee. They are still disabled. Yes, even if their prosthesis shoots lasers.

And other characters, like Toph and Daredevil, who are both blind, have superpowers/superhuman abilities that allow them to overcome their disability. That does not make them less disabled.

Their blindness still impacts their everyday lives. They can’t read. They can’t draw. They don’t know what things or people look like, or what color things are. They can’t read someone’s facial expressions during a conversation. They can’t follow a map without assistance.

When I asked my friend for examples of what he considered good disabled representation he said Professor X, Oracle, and the Thinker. And that made me pause and I won’t lie, it upset me. It felt degrading. I got kind of angry at him and it got a little heated.

Because what he was saying is: the smart one in the wheelchair that never actually joins the battle because their body is too frail? Those are the only good disabled characters? The ones who still need to be protected and treated tenderly and are physically weaker?

Do we only exist when you can view us as some subhuman lesser other that you can take pity on?

But it’s not only my friend who thinks this way.

I’ve seen quite a few arguments online about people who don’t think Edward Elric is disabled, despite being an amputee.

Who don’t think Cyborg is disabled, despite the fact that his entire power set is due to a life support and mobility aid device.

And my friend was shocked that I, and many other disabled people, find these depictions of strong and confident and capable disabled people empowering. He fully expected that I would find those depictions offensive.

And that’s when it really hit me.

The issue is not that characters like Bucky or Toph or Daredevil are bad representations of disabled characters.

The issue is that people don’t perceive them as disabled. They’ve internalized this belief that disabled people have to be weak and delicate and fragile and in some way physically inferior.

They’re only considered disabled if they’re tragic and/or weak. Or ugly. People love to project a tragic subhuman otherness onto disabled people who are ugly.

If they’re cool and badass that confuses them. That doesn’t fit with the narrative that’s been built in their heads.

The idea of a competent, confidant, and strong disabled character, especially a cool disabled character is just so completely foreign to them that they don’t even consider it.

Now I’m not saying that depictions of disabled characters like Oracle or professor X are bad or harmful. We need representation of disabled people who aren’t strong and don’t have superpowers and maybe don’t feel particularly empowered. That’s a genuine representation of many disabled people.

It just isn’t the only one.

I think the issue with disabled representation is not that it doesn’t exist (as I’ve seen many abled people online claim in our defense) but that we need to shift the way we think of disabled people so we stop overlooking a lot of the really cool and badass and awesome disabled characters we do already have.

So if you read this far through this essay, please stop for a moment and consider the preconceptions you have about disabled people.

Have you ever overlooked a disabled character because they were strong, powerful, charismatic, or, (God forbid!) SEXY?

And if so, I’d ask you to take some time to examine in yourself why you don’t think of disabled people as being able to be those things.

Mod Izzy

[vinnyfaudera]

I talk to many people who say things like "oh I have trauma but I don't have PTSD", but then when I talk to them a little more I realize that they most likely do, they just can't recognize it as such due to how lacking PTSD awareness is, even beyond the whole "it's not just a veteran's disorder" thing.

The main reason they think they don't have PTSD usually has to do with flashbacks and nightmares, either they have one but not the other or have neither. But here's the thing, those are only two symptoms out of the 23-odd recognized symptoms. Flashbacks and nightmares are two of the five symptoms under Criterion B (Intrusion), which you only need one of for a diagnosis. The other three symptoms are unwanted upsetting memories, emotional distress after being reminded of trauma and physical reactivity after being reminded of trauma (i.e. shaking, sweating, heart racing, feeling sick, nauseous or faint, etc). Therefore you can have both flashbacks and nightmares, one but not the other, or neither and still have PTSD.

In fact, a lot of the reasons people give me for why they don't think they have PTSD are literally a part of the diagnostic criteria.

"Oh, I can barely remember most parts of my trauma anyway." Criterion D (Negative Alterations in Cognition and Mood) includes inability to recall key features of the trauma.

"Oh but I don't get upset about my trauma that often because I avoid thinking of it or being around things that remind me of it most of the time." Criterion C (Avoidance) includes avoiding trauma-related thoughts or feelings and avoiding trauma-related external reminders, and you literally cannot get diagnosed if you don't have at least one of those two symptoms.

"Oh I just have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, but I don't have nightmares." Criterion E (Alterations in Arousal and Reactivity) includes difficulting sleeping outside of nightmares.

"But I didn't have many/any trauma symptoms until a long time after the trauma happened." There's literally an entire specification for that.

Really it just shows how despite being one of the most well-known mental illnesses, people really don't know much about PTSD. If you have trauma, I ask you to at least look at the criteria before you decide you don't have PTSD. Hell, even if you don't have trauma, look at the criteria anyway because there are so many symptoms in there that just are not talked about.

PTSD awareness is not just about flashbacks and nightmares.

[vinnyfaudera]

how could i say no to a pretty girl like you.. lets throw a desktop wedding. i want all the icons to be there, all the folders and files. i love you forever

[vinnyfaudera]

Happy Pride Month to all Objectum people and their partners!

[vinnyfaudera]

YES i let my power strip sleep in bed with me. so what

[vinnyfaudera]

radios that switch to love songs when they see you

computers that draw hearts in ms paint (or another art program) when they're booted up

game consoles that purr when you power them on

refrigerators that let out heart shaped ice cubes