vintageneptune92

[vintageneptune92]

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Law and Order SVU: Season 18, Episode 10: Motherly Love

[vintageneptune92]

Burn the Shadow- 19

So I know technically Chief Dodd’s technically comes in later, but I couldn’t find the name of who his predecessor was. Since it’s my story, I figured I can do what I want. 😆

Anything in pink is explicit. This was written on my phone as always and not completely edited. I just wanted to get it posted.

Thank you for your likes, shares and feedback. 💕

Gia was finally feeling better. The bruising had healed and she had gotten the stitches taken out of her arm that morning. It was an ugly scar. Her doctor had given her some suggestions to minimize it. She did not want to see that scar every day and be reminded of what happened.

Sienna had tried calling multiple times. She had to ask Rita to ask her to stop. Rita must have talked some sense into her because she stopped calling. She and Grayson had texted a little. They decided to see each other after the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.

Rafael had convinced Gia to have his mother and grandmother over. She agreed, but told him only if Nick, Zara and his mother were invited. She was pretty sure Rafael would have let her invite the entire squad if she had suggested it. He was just happy she said yes.

He had also noticed she put all of the family photos away besides a few she had in frames. They went into the closet in the guest bedroom on the top shelf. She had explained it was actually her therapist's idea. Gia had been obsessing, over forgotten memories and things she had missed about her mother, but she also wasn't truly ready to keep digging. So for the time being, out of sight, out of mind. Truthfully, he was happy to see them gone. He hated seeing her torture herself.

Gia opened the door to the bar and saw Amanda sitting, waiting for her. She smiled when Amanda saw her. Rafael was working late on a case and Gia was going stir crazy. Amanda had texted if she wanted to meet up and she jumped at the chance. Amanda gave Gia a hug when she saw her.

"It's so good to see you. You look great." Gia laughed.

"Yeah, I looked like I was a beat up, the bruises I could cover, but the rib pain was awful. No matter which way I moved it bothered me." Gia ordered some sort of Martini that was the drink of the night. She wasn't in the mood for her usual.

"I uh, I heard you you took out your own stitches. I heard Barba telling Liv. He was incensed. I love that you keep him on his toes." Gia took a drink.

"Yeah, the little 'what the fuck' lines have definitely gotten a little deeper." Gia motioned in between her eyebrows.

"Can I...can I ask you something?" Gia nodded and motioned for her to continue. "Why Barba...what is it about him? Is he like really good in bed?" Gia choked on her drink as she laughed.

"You almost just killed me." Amanda started laughing herself.

"I don't mean to offend, I swear. I just...I had to ask." Gia shook her head, she wiped a tear that had snuck out from laughing so hard.

"Oh I know. I just haven't had a friend to talk to like this since Ali. To answer, yes, yes he is. But I didn't find that perk out until I was already all in" Amanda put her face in her hands and shook her head. "Listen, you asked."

"You're right, I did." Like Gia, Amanda hadn't had a friend she could trust in a long time, much longer than Gia.

"There wasn't just one thing, it was so many things, a lot of little things. Even when I thought I hated him, I didn't really. I felt drawn to him, we were just on a crash course to each other. I'm sure it would have gone differently if Ali hadn't died, but we would have ended up in the same spot. We just connected." Gia ordered another round of drinks for the two of them.

"I knew he had a thing for you. He used to get this look in his eye when he would watch you work. Putting together a profile or when you do that thing when you close your eyes to piece something together. He still looks at you like that." A small smile pulled at Gia's mouth.

"It's probably the same one I get when he delivers a really good summation. Or when he finds the weakness in the defense" It was Amanda's turn to laugh.

"Yeah, it's pretty much the same look. I still remember that look on your face during his first case for us when he let Adam Cain choke him. You jumped to your feet in concern, but once you knew he was okay, it was this look of curiosity and admiration."

"Yeah, looking back, that was when he got me. It just took me time to accept It." Amanda nodded taking a drink.

"But you're happy?" She asked after a moment.

"Despite everything that has happened? Yeah, I am. He makes me really happy." Amanda smiled and gripped her hand.

"Good, because if anyone deserves to be happy, it's you." Gia smiled back at her.

"What about you? Anyone special?" Amanda scoffed.

"Not since Nate. I'm good for a while." Gia sighed.

"For what it's worth, Rafael did not want to have to do that, especially not with you in the court room." Amanda waved her off.

"No, I know. He had no choice. I just wasn't especially happy with Nick." Gia rolled her eyes.

"Trust me, I have been on the receiving end of Nick's 'good intentions'. He can be infuriating. But you're doing okay?" Amanda nodded.

"Yeah I'm fine." Gia studied her face for a moment, not sure if she believed her or not but she wasn't going to push her.

"Well, if you ever feel not fine, I'm here to listen."

"I know. We should do this more often." Amanda quickly.

"Agreed." Gia smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shit." Gia cursed as dropped her keys as she tried to unlock the door. As she stood back up after getting them off the ground, Rafael opened the door with a smirk, causing Gia to jump.

"Welcome home, Detective." He stepped aside allowing her to come in.

"Were you waiting for me just to scare me?" He laughed.

"No, I heard you drop your keys three times and figured I'd get up and help you." She gave him a dirty look and set her purse down. He walked over and helped her take her coat off and hung it up for her.

"You're a little drunk." He mused. She rolled her eyes.

"For one, tipsy. For two, you smell like scotch so you're one to talk. Case going that well?"

"I don't want to talk about the case." He slid his hand up the side of her hair and pulled her in for a searing kiss, catching her by surprise. When he finally pulled away it took her a moment to catch her breath. "Why don't we go and continue this." His voice was low. Gia shook her head.

"Not until you finish your homework." She pointed over to his work spread out on the coffee table. "I don't want you distracted." She pressed her lips lightly against his and slipped away from him, heading to their bedroom to get changed.

"Oh!" She turned around. "I invited Amanda to Thanksgiving." She turned back around and disappeared from site.

About a half hour later Rafael went to join Gia in their bedroom. She didn't see him in the doorway, but she had changed into a loose fitting tank top and a pair of underwear. She had gotten distracted from putting her shorts on by scrutinizing the scar on her arm. She was pressing at the puffy skin with her brows knitted together. He slipped away before she noticed him and returned with a drink for each of them. When she looked up and saw him standing there, she smiled.

"Are trying to get me actually drunk?" She teased taking the drink from him and taking a long sip.

"Maybe or maybe I wanted you to relax after watching you poke at your arm in the mirror." Gia's face grew hot from embarrassment and looked away.

"I hate that I have to look at it every day. I can't even cover it with a tattoo if I want to wear a sleeveless shirt in the summer. NYPD is pretty cool about the wrist tattoo. I don't think they'd appreciate me getting a giant part of my arm tattooed without a shirt sleeve to cover it. He walked behind her and put an arm around her waist and kissed her shoulder.

"You just got your stitches out. You'll use what the doctor recommended to get it to fade. It won't be as noticeable in time. It's just so prominent now. It won't always be that way." He left kisses in a trail from her shoulder down to where the scar was.

"I know." Was all she said. She had leaned her body back into his after reaching to set her drink down.

He slid his hands under her shirt and up her stomach. When she didn't flinch at her rib area, he kept going until he reached her breasts. As he started massaging them, he dragged his teeth across her earlobe earning the expected groan. She turned around so she could kiss him and started unbuttoning his shirt and quickly tossed it aside. She pulled away from him momentarily to pull the t-shirt underneath up over his head.

She had missed him. It had only been a few weeks, but she missed the closeness with him like this. Now that her bruising finally healed she didn't want to hold back. She quickly undid his pants and he stepped out of them as she pushed him towards the bed.

It took him by surprise, he was always a little more dominant in the bedroom. It seemed that was the only place she liked being told what to do. This had him curious. Once he was on the bed, she was straddling him. She pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side.

"Wait." He told her, wanting to moment to admire her. She closed her eyes and let him have his fill as he ran his hands from her hips up the sides of her back and slowly pulled her down to him.

She ran her hands up his shoulders and held both sides of his face as she kissed him, tongue buried deep into his mouth. It was his turn to groan when he felt her grind into him. She did it a few more times as she kissed down his neck. They both still had their underwear on, but the contact had him moaning. She let out a whine when he rolled her over.

Her grinned at her as he laid on his side admiring her a little bit more. Then, he was on top of her, kissing from her lips across her cheek and down her neck. Soon, he had one nipple in his mouth and then the other, causing her breath to hitch. Then he kissed down the plane between her breasts to her stomach. He only paused to pull her underwear off.

He hooked one leg under her right thigh, his other rested across her abdomen to hold her into place. She usually begged for digital penetration, but not this time. She'd have to wait. He relished in her moans and cries of his name as his tongue swirled around. A few "Rafael please" cries were driving him crazy, but he knew she was almost there. He looked up at her, eyes clamped shut, her fists at her forehead, unable to move with how he was holding her. Then, she finally let go.

As her release came, he slid his tongue inside of her and she gasped. He helped her ride it out giving her a chance to come down before going right back to what he had been doings moments before. He could tell she was still a slightly overstimulated, but the sounds coming out of her were something he had never heard from her before. They were gutteral. This time when she came, it rocked her whole body.

Before she had the chance to fully recover, he was on top of her and inside of her. He felt her walls clench around him as he buried himself deep inside of her. Always a perfect fit. Her finger tips dug into his back as his lips met hers. She had expected him to be a little harder, a little faster. Instead, he was slow and methodical. Taking his time.

His forehead had dropped down to her shoulder as her hands roamed his back. She leaned her head forward enough to kiss along his neck. Their moans and cries were quieter, but more impactful. The build up was beautifully torturous. She felt herself clench around him as his pace sped up slightly. When he picked his head up, she held both sides of his face and kissed him deeply, swallowing the sounds of his release.

A little while later she came out of the bathroom in her tank top and shorts to find him in his underwear only sitting in her chair. She smiled as she made her way over and crawled into his lap. She loved the feeling of his warm skin on hers. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while before she sat up to look at him. He was studying her face.

"What, Raf?" She smiled, running her finger along his jawline.

"Don't hate me for this, but I think I'd be okay if you never stepped foot in a precinct again." He looked like he was ashamed to admit it. Her eyebrows knitted together and he thought she was angry at first, but then he realized it was more concern and understanding.

"I know, and that is my fault. I promise you, no more running in without back up. No more unnecessary risks. There's always a risk, but I will be more careful, I promise you." He studied the sincerity in her face. He could see how much she meant it just by the look in her eyes. Instead of responding, he kissed her and then rested his forehead against hers.

"I just can't lose you." He confessed. He had put so much of himself into her, but he had also let her into his heart completely. That kind of loss, that kind of heartbreak, is not something you ever recover from.

"You won't." For the first time, he believed her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rafael had not wanted to get out of bed that morning. For the first time since Gia had crawled in his bed, she had slept facing him, not facing the outside of the bed. She had slept tucked inside his arm. It made him feel a certain way, that you trusted him completely not to turn him away.

He was happy that Gia wasn't there for the Josh Galloway case. He was sure she wouldn't have been able to hold back from ripping that hack apart. He was frustrated. It was a bad case and an even worse victim. He had taken it out on Liv and it wasn't fair for him to do it. He bore the responsibility for taking it on too. Things had changed with Liv taking the squad over, it was growing pains.

Loosing himself in her the night before had been exactly what he needed. He had missed her, not the sex, he wasn't a child. It was the closeness of her, her warmth and softness. Feeling completely connected to her. That was what he had missed. He had been almost afraid to even touch her. Her pain, mentally and physically had him cautious to even hug her.

This day had been improved by Renee Clark's moxie. He hated how close she had been to being assaulted again, but she had got him. He didn't get the result that he wanted, he wanted prison time, but at list he got something. It was a start and maybe, hopefully, he would feel less emboldened. Now it was just paperwork, mind numbing paperwork that led his mind back to Gia. At this rate, he would never finish his work.

He leaned back in his chair and turned slightly deep in thought. Truthfully, he wanted her to take the job with Jack McCoy. It would ease his worries and It would make her safer, but he couldn't ask her to do that for him. He never would ask her to change anything about herself to make him happy. He knew she was looking for something to fill a void He was secure enough in himself and their relationship to know that she was fulfilled with him. It was something in her past that left her feeling incomplete. That was something that had nothing to do with him. It was for her to do, she had to be the one to find that puzzle piece. Eventually there would be a case that would make something click. She would either solve something, save someone or find the memories she lost. That option scared him the most of all.

He could see it in her, when she thought she wasn't looking. The far off look on her face as she stared out the window or how she would sit in her chair and close her eyes like she was searching. She had said that she was putting it all on hold, but he knew deep down it still ate at her.

She had changed him. He used to be just his job, building his career, laser focused. He was still focused, it wasn't that his work was suffering but, he found himself bringing his work home just to be in her proximity. He never thought that would be him. He was glad she had changed him. He took a deep breath to clear his head. The sooner he got the paperwork infront of him done, he could go home to her.

Two hours later, he was heading home to her. He hadn't heard much from her today, which had him a little concerned, but he didn't want to bombard her, in the end, she always came to him. In a week and a half she would be back to work. She was going to return the Monday after Thanksgiving. As much as he didn't want her to go back, he knew it would be good for her. She was getting antsy. It was one of the many things they had in common.

When he opened the door to the apartment she was there, painting. She had placed a tarp on the floor and had set up her canvas there by the window. He couldn't have cared less if she got paint on the floor, he was just happy she was painting again. She had said she had an art block, which had started when Isaac Moreno showed up. This was her outlet and he was happy she had plugged back in.

She had her hair piled up on her head, curls falling loose. Her outfit made him chuckle. She had on an oversized gray Columbia sweatshirt where the collar had been cut so it fell off one of her shoulders, leggings and patterned fuzzy slipper socks. He could see old paint stains on the sweatshirt, this was her artist uniform. She didn't hear him come in, he could see the earbuds stuck in her ear. He tried to think of a way to get her attention without scarring her too badly. He didn't want to mess up what she was doing. He decided to drop his bag loudly on the floor, he saw her flinch slightly and pull out her earbuds, set her paintbrush down and walked over to him.

"Hi." She was wearing the smile that she reserved just for him that made his heart rate pick up every time he saw it. She stopped just short of wrapping her arms around him. She had paint on her bare shoulder. Some on the cheek of her makeup free face. The last few days had been chilly, but sunny and she had gone to the park, a few freckles had smattered across her cheeks.

"I don't want to get paint on your suit." She finally said expectantly. He smiled and took his jacket off and then his tie. He would have gladly let her get paint all over every suit he owned.

"There, I have a million white shirts, you can get paint all over this one and have a back up shirt to paint in." She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her. He was worried that she was having a hard day because they hadn't spoken much, but it was because she was busy and happy. He could feel it in the way she kissed him.

"I missed you today. You should have woken me up before you left for the office." She still had her arms wrapped around him, fingers laced into his hair, his hands resting on her lower back.

"I couldn't. You looked so peaceful. I did kiss you. Can I see what you've been working on?" He knew sometimes she wasn't ready for people to see what she was working on. She hesitated for a moment and then nodded her head.

He walked over and was surprised by what he saw. Normally her paintings were brighter, or calming. This one was not that. The background was blues and greys and there were shadows of people. They looked distorted. It was unsettling, but not in a bad way, there was real emotion in it. He wanted to ask her about it, but when he turned to look at her, she had one arm crossed over her torso, her arm bent and she was chewing on her thumb, looking terrified of it.

"It's not done, it needs something else. I need to walk away for a while. Do you hate it?" He turned to her, surprised of her uncertainty.

"No, I love it. It's just different. Wherever you go with it next, it'll be amazing. Why don't we give you some space from it and go out to dinner." He watched her relax. They had been staying in while she was healing, but now he just wanted to go out with her, spend time with her.

"I would love that. Let me go get cleaned up." Before she could walk past him, he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back.

"I don't know, I think I like this look." He kissed the paint spots on her bare shoulder and she leaned into him.

"If you want to leave, you had better stop that." She said in a low voice. He laughed while laying his forehead on her shoulder, his hands on her hips. After a moment he gave her a brief kiss on her neck.

"Go shower Amor, I'll get a paint free shirt too. We can go anywhere you want." Her hands were gripping his back. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips and finished her trip into the bathroom to clean up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was early the next morning. Gia felt nervous as she put her earrings on. Liv had called her after she and Rafael had gotten home from dinner. Newly appointed Chief Dodds wanted to meet with her before she came back to the precinct. She had no idea what it was about.

She left the leather jacket hanging in the closet. Instead, she had on black dress pants and a sharp black suit jacket. She stared at herself in the mirror, the scar on her face had faded and was easily covered with makeup. She pulled out her red lipstick and put it on. It gave her confidence. She slid her heels on and walked out into the living room.

"Wow." Rafael commented when she came out into the living room.

"Is it too much? I just want to appear confident." He took a sip of his coffee, eyeing her.

"Well, you succeeded. No, it's not too much." He reassured her. He walked over and grasped her upper arms. "I'm sure it's nothing bad. He's new, you've been out, he likely wants to check in before you come back." Gia was chewing on the inside of her cheek as to not mess up her makeup.

"Probably. I've heard he can be a little difficult. Liv told me not to worry." He smiled at her, he wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her a little closer, the other resting on the side of her neck.

"Come see me after?" His thumb was tracing little circles on her neck. She had her hands on his chest, he could see the anxiety melting from her.

"I think you should convince me." She saw a flicker in his eyes, both of his hands gripped her hips.

"Then you shouldn't have put the lipstick on." He whispered in her ear before placing open mouthed kisses along her neck as she closed her eyes, tipping her head back slightly giving him more access. She opened her eyes and looked at him when he stopped."If I really have to convince you, we will both be late". Then he kissed her temple.

"Well then I guess you'll just have to wait and see." He laughed.

"C'mon, we'll take a car. I'll drop you off." he grabbed her coat and helped her put it on before putting on his and leading her out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ah, Detective Monroe. Nice to finally meet you." Cheif Dodd's shook her hand.

"Likewise. Is Sergeant Benson joining us?" She was surprised that Liv hadn't gotten there before her.

"Actually, she and I spoke last night I told her I'd like the two of us to meet. Please, sit down." He motioned to one of the empty seats across from his desk. She felt her stomach flip flop.

"Sure." She tentatively took a seat. She tried not quell all of her anxiety tells, which was not easy. She wouldn't let Dodds see her flinch though.

"I wanted to check in to see how you were doing. You've been through quite an ordeal this year. You've shown incredible bravery. People have noticed, especially the people you want to notice." Gia raised an eyebrow.

"I'm doing well. Physically I'm healed, I decided to give myself an extra week before heading back, just to make sure my head is clear." He nodded.

"I respect that. A lot of Detectives won't do that. Let me ask you, are you happy at SVU?" She cocked her head to the side.

"I've been getting that question a lot lately. Why do you ask?" He smiled, she couldn't tell if it was sincere or not.

"You are incredibly talented, you could have any assignment that you wanted truthfully. I just want to make sure you're happy, that's all. I know SVU has been a little rocky lately." Gia nodded. They were looking to protect their investment.

"I am actually very happy at SVU. Working with the victims is very gratifying. If I can help them at their worst moment, it means something." Dodd's nodded and was silent for a moment. Gia left room for it. She was interested in where he was going to take this.

"I know they handed you a multi-jurisdictional case. How is that going?" She sighed.

"Well I didn't get far with it due to Isaac Moreno. I have a lot to get through. Most of the cases are beyond cold. I'm sure I'll be able to put a pattern and a profile together, but it's going to take time. I wish I could have seen some of the live crime scenes. Sometimes, I catch something that is important, but we don't know it's important until later. I will need to study the crime scene photos extensively." She had almost forgotten about that case. She had pushed it to the back of her mind.

"Well I spoke with Sergeant Benson. I want to make sure we are utilizing you in the best way possible. I don't want you out chasing perps. You need to be reviewing crime scenes, working with victims and listening in on interrogations. You are the one that can best put the pieces together." Gia's brow furrowed.

"So you're essentially putting me behind a desk. Do you think I can't handle being on the street or something?" He put his hands up defensively.

"Not at all. You're not stuck behind a desk. We're not pulling your weapon. You're a second grade detective with a bright future who I know will move up the ranks quickly. There are so many things you can be doing besides knocking down doors." Gia sat back for a moment thinking.

"You heard Jack McCoy offered me a job." She finally said. He let out a little laugh.

"Yes, yes I did. You are as sharp as they say." Gia pressed her tongue to her cheek for a moment.

"You honestly could have just said that. Listen Chief, I am a straight shooter. You may not always like me or what I have to say, but I will always be honest. I will tell you what I told the DA. I'm not done with SVU. I still have work to do. Maybe one day, but I'm not leaving NYPD anytime soon. I don't need special treatment." She crossed her legs, no longer anxious.

"I appreciate your candor Detective. It's not special treatment, it's using you to the best of your ability. I think when you get back after next week, your priority should be getting through the evidence in that case. I'm assuming you have contacts in New England through your father and mother." Gia nodded.

"I do. I will make it my top priority." Dodd's stood up.

"Well I appreciate you coming in while you are off. I look forward to working with you Detective." Gia stood as well and smiled.

"Likewise Chief." Once she was outside of his office, she texted Olivia and asked her to meet at Rafael's office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rafael watched Gia pace as she told him and Olivia what the Deputy Chief had said. He couldn't lie, he was feeling slightly relieved that he didn't want her chasing perps and knocking doors down. He could tell she was feeling conflicted.

"Barba, you're unusually quiet." Liv said after Gia was done. Gia had finally sat down and was looking at him expectantly.

"I mean, it's a smart tactic, I can certainly see why he suggested it. He wants you focused on what you do best and keep you out of the line of fire. I know that's not what you want to hear. He's not doing it because he thinks you can't handle yourself so don't get worked up. He is protecting his best asset. Did he mention if there was a choice in this?" Olivia scoffed.

"Not really. I have a feeling there won't be a lot of room for choice with our new deputy chief." He couldn't get a read on Gia. She didn't seem angry.

"Well, I guess I can wear heels to work again." She joked. Rafael chucked and shook his head.

"Gia, if you're really not okay with it, I will go to bat with Dodds." Gia shook her head.

"No...no. You just took Command, he's new and it's not like they are taking my gun or anything. Don't use any juice you have for this. Save it for something that matters." Gia knew that Liv might need that down the line. Gia also didn't want to appear to be difficult and maybe not kicking down doors wasn't the worst thing in the world.

"Okay, we will see how this goes then. I have to get back to the squad room." Liv said while looking at her phone. "I'll talk to you both later." Rafael walked Liv to the door and shut it behind her.

"Are you sure you're okay with it?" Rafael asked when he turned around. She nodded.

"Yeah. I feel like I need to be on Dodd's good side for now. I couldn't get a read on him, but I have a feeling he and I will be butting heads at some point. He is trying to make sure I don't come work for Jack. Which was stupid for him to tip that hand, because I have the advantage." Rafael smirked at her.

"I think you did get a read on him. If you think you're going to need leverage, you know what you're dealing with." Gia looked down at her hands for a moment and back up at him.

"Maybe. You can admit it, you know." Her eyes met his and his face read confusion. "You can admit that you're happy with this change." He sighed, standing up and going to sit on the corner of his desk in front of her.

"Gigi, I want whatever you want. If you want this, take it and run with it. Make jr so they can't deny you anything you want. Do I like the idea that you might be dodging less bullets? Of course I do, but not at the expense of what you want." She smiled and stood up and stepped towards him, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"I love you." She was looking at him fondly.

"I love you too." As he stood up, her hands slid down his arms and he kissed her on the cheek. He watched as she reached for her phone as it buzzed in her pocket and read the message. Her eyes flickered up to his.

"My Dad is on his way into the city."

[vintageneptune92]

TVD Masterlist

One shots

You Were Mine- Damon Salvatore x Reader

A Love Worth Waiting For- Stefan Salvatore x Reader

Do The Unexpected- Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

I Think I’m Falling In Love With You- Alaric Saltzman x Reader

Hate That I Love You- Damon Salvatore x Reader

Don’t Say You Love Me- Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

You Have Me- Klaus Mikaelson x Reader

Series

Temptations- Stefan Salvatore x Reader (Complete)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Whispers In The Dark- Elijah Mikaelson x Salvatore OC

[vintageneptune92]

Whispers in The Dark

Samantha Salvatore returns home to reunite and save her brothers. She is torn between her love for them and her relationship with the love of her life.

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

[vintageneptune92]

Supernatural Masterlist

One Shots

More Than I Can Say- Dean Winchester x Reader

Green is the Color- Dean Winchester x Reader

Not Alone- Dean Winchester x Reader

A New Beginning- Dean Winchester x Reader

A Light in the Dark- Dean Winchester x Reader

A Dangerous Game- Crowley x Reader

Tequila Makes You Mean- Dean Winchester x Reader

Series

In My Time of Dying- Castiel x OC

[vintageneptune92]

In My Time of Dying

I suck at summaries! This is an original character story- Alianna Winchester, twin sister of Sam. It starts off right around when Dean comes back from hell. Ali and Sam’s relationship has been fractured since he left for Stanford. She struggles to repair their relationship has they navigate the Apocalypse, her close relationship with Dean and beyond. Like Sam- She is special in a very different way. Truly the Ying to his Yang that causes a deep connection between Ali and Castiel.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

[vintageneptune92]

Marvel Masterlist

One Shots

Heart of the Matter- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Shadow of the Day- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Say It Again- Buck Barnes x Reader

Bonfire- Steve Rogers x Reader

Series

Flicker Fade- Steve Rogers x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2

Nothing Breaks Like a Heart- Steve Rogers x Stark! OC (under re-write)

[vintageneptune92]

SVU Masterlist

Series:

Burn The Shadow- Rafael Barba x OC

Two Cent Men- Rafael Barba x Reader

One Shots:

Falling- Rafael Barba x Reader

[vintageneptune92]

Two Cent Men- Masterlist

Rafael Barba x OC

Part 1

[vintageneptune92]

Burn The Shadow- Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

[vintageneptune92]

Burn the Shadow- 18

I think I wrote and re-wrote this chapter 100 times. It needs to be edited, which I will do in a day or two but I need to just get it out there so I can move on. I know where this story is going, I just fell into a major pot hole.

I hope it is acceptable. 🩷🩷

"Wait...wait...wait. So let me get this straight. Officer McKenna said she saw a gun, she initiated the shooting, she tells you she was hit and somehow YOU are the one they're trying to indict...with a hate crime attached. Do they realize the officer you were trying to protect was ALSO Black?!" The incredulity of the situation had Gia pacing her hallway while on the phone with Nick. Gia was pinching the bridge of her nose. She wasn't surprised that Ed Tucker was throwing Amaro under the bus. That was his normal MO.

"Gee, I know. Officer McKenna isn't cooperating anymore. They're using me as the example for excessive force. I had no idea that it was her own bullet. Calhoun and I went to Strauss for a deal, I was going to turn in my papers..."

"You What?! You're going to retire and do what?" Gia's head was pounding. She was having frequent headaches since she was released from the hospital. The stitches in her head were irritating her. Her wounded arm hurt. She was walking around in a pair of cotton pajama shorts and a hoodie.

"Well he refused to drop the Hate Crime statute so I didn't take it. Listen, you're not going to like what I'm about to tell you..." Nick was trying to avoid the bomb that was about to detonate.

"Well, I haven't been excited about anything in this conversation so go ahead." Nick appreciated her sarcasm in that moment because he knew it was going to slip into outrage in a moment.

"Don't freak out but I'm going to testify at the Grand Jury."

"Don't freak out...DON'T FREAK OUT?? Jesus Christ are you trying to give me a stroke?!" The volume of Gia's voice increased with each word growing high pitched at the end.

"I have to take the chance. He's in there insinuating things that he can't in a trial." Gia's free hand fell to her side, her hand slapping against her thigh.

"Yeah Nick, I know. This is a TERRIBLE idea. The things he can ask you and not having Calhoun in there to have your back? This is a whole new level of insanity. You and I are the same brand of crazy and even I wouldn't do this." Gia had her hand on the top of her head as she continued her loop of the hallway.

"Listen, I know all of that. I'm hoping if they see me, hear from me, that maybe it'll repair some of the damage Strauss is doing. I have to do what I can to not end up in prison." Gia exhaled the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Nick, please...please don't do this. It's a huge risk." Gia felt completely useless. She wasn't there for him when his house was shot up. She felt sick knowing Zara had been there. He refused to use the spare bedroom she and Rafael had because she was recovering. Instead, he was sleeping on Liv's couch with Cassidy who was investigating him with Tucker.

"Gee, I need you to trust me, okay? I don't need you getting worked up over this. I can literally hear your high blood pressure over the phone. It'll be fine." Gia was silent. She didn't know what else to say.

"I assume there is not a fucking thing I can say to change your mind?" She had to ask before she conceded.

"No, there isn't." Gia squeezed her lips together leaning against the wall.

"Okay." There weren't any other words she could muster. All of the worst case scenarios rolling through her brain.

"Look, you don't need to worry about this right now. I just didn't want you to find out from someone else. You need to rest and recover." By someone else, she knew he meant Rafael. She assumed he gave him the ultimatum to tell Gia or he would.

"Nick, I'm fine. Just...just focus on what you plan to say. Think of every horrible question that asshat can ask you. All of the ways he can twist this and have a solid answer. And keep your temper in check. He's going to try and bait you."

"I will. I'll check in later okay? Get some rest." He hung up before she could respond. She wanted to scream, but she was sure she had disturbed Rafael enough while he was trying to work.

Gia took a couple of slow deep breaths. She decided to go check in on Rafael before she took something for her headache. She was hoping it would dull her emotions enough to calm her anxiety. She knew it was a naive wish by the way her heart was rattling in her chest.

When she made it to Rafael's office, he had left the door open. When she walked in, he wasn't behind his desk and the couch was empty. Her brows knitted together and she walked out in search of him. She stopped short when she made it to the living room.

There was a woman in the living room with him. She was older and she was beautiful. Short dark hair, dark eyes and she was impeccably put together. Then she noticed it, she and Rafael had the same nose. Without him even introducing her, she knew it was Lucille Barba.

Rafael turned and saw Gia stopped in the doorway. She was wide eyed and obviously, but adorably, startled. Part of him was happy that this was how she was meeting his mother, his mother was getting the authentic version of her. Not that he had planned it that way. He just knew that Gia would overthink meeting his mother.

He had told his mother what had happened and she had admired Gia's bravery and was appalled that no one in her family had been back to check on her. She had been pestering Rafael for months about meeting Gia. She finally decided she no longer wanted to wait and showed up after she found out Rafael was working from home to be with Gia. His mother had arrived right before Gia had gotten on the phone with Nick and had heard her colorful melt down over Nick's decision to testify.

"Hi, I would have gotten dressed if I knew we were having company." She gave Rafael a pointed look. Rafael walked over to her and put his arm around her and led her closer to his mother.

"Don't you worry about that. I didnt tell him I was coming." Lucille immediately dismissed her concerns.

"Mom, this is Gianna Monroe. Gia, this is my mother Lucille Barba." Rafael kept a steady and comforting hand on her back.

"Mrs. Barba, it's so nice to meet you." Lucille took her hand and gave her a warm smile.

"You call me Lucille. I'm so glad to finally meet you. All he does is talk about you." She squeezed Gia's hand. Gia saw a slight blush creep over Rafael's face.

Gia felt a wide range of emotions. She was nervous and embarrassed. She hadn't worn makeup in days and her hair was messily on top of her head and she was essentially dressed in pajamas. She was hoping his mother got there after her call with Nick, though she doubted it.

"My mom brought food over so we didn't have to worry about it." Rafael's nodded his head towards the dining room table that had bags on it.

"Well, I wanted to do something for the very brave woman who has captivated my son enough to get him out of the office." Lucille stepped a little bit closer. She cupped Gia's chin to turn her head slightly to look at the bruising and stitches. Normally, Gia would find it intrusive, but it was surprisingly endearing.

"Oh sweetheart, that must hurt. Is my son taking care of you?" It was the first time in her life she felt someone showing her motherly concern. Gia felt the anxiety fleeing her body and she laughed.

"He takes great care of me, and I make it pretty hard for him." Gia winced as she shifted her body. Rafael noticed immediately.

"Sit down." He led her to the couch. Lucille sat down next to Gia and Rafael took a seat in the chair closest to Gia.

"I won't stay. We have plenty of time to get to know each other. I just wanted to stop and meet you. This way if Rafi is stuck and work and you need anything, you'll feel comfortable calling me. It must be hard having your family so far away." Gia blinked a few times to prevent her burning eyes from watering.

"It can be. My mother is in worse shape than I am, she needs them more. I have Rafael, Olivia, Nick and the rest of the squad." Lucia took Gia's hand again in both of hers.

"Well, now you have someone that is outside of the precinct. You call me any time. I'm going to go so you can get some rest." She patted the top of Gia's hand.

"Thank you. I really appreciate that." Rafael stood when his mother did and walked her to the door. He hugged her and kissed her on the cheek before he shut the door behind her. When he turned around, he couldn't help but grin. Gia hid her face in her hands.

"How much of that phone call with Nick did she hear?" Her voice was muffled.

"Ohhh, every colorful word of it." He sat down next to her on the couch. Rafael laughed as she groaned.

"I'm so embarrassed." He put his hand on her upper back and rubbed it.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, she's said much worse." Gia turned her head to the side while still resting her face in her hands. The amused look slowly faded from her face.

"Tell me Nick isn't going to prison." She whispered.

"I can't. I hope not, but they are gunning for him." She knew he wouldn't lie to her, but part of her wished he would just to hold onto some sense of false hope.

"I can't lose him too." She whispered. She felt like her world was caving in. She could not take one more literal or metaphorical loss. She didn't think she would survive it.

"Listen to me, this goes to trial, their case is flimsy at best. It's easy to get an indictment, but at trial they have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt. You know this." She nodded her head, but didn't say anything. He sighed and moved closer to her and put his arm around and pulled her close to him. He could almost hear the thoughts racing through her mind. He thought for a moment to think of something to take her mind off of it.

"Do you know the first time I felt a spark of something for you?" He rubbed slow circles on her lower back.

"No, I don't." She placed her hand on his chest, opposite of where her head was. She closed her eyes, listening to the steady strum of his heart.

"We were at a police fundraiser the Mayor put on. One PP had asked you to attend. The department was looking for representatives from some of the major departments to help elicit the wealthiest of New Yorkers to write some checks. They knew that you were the person to represent SVU. It was clear that they made the right choice, you fit into that crowd seamlessly. I remember seeing you from across the room, you had on this simple black silk dress that knotted in the front. I don't even know who you were talking to, but you had this radiant smile, one I had never seen before, mostly because I had never done anything to earn it. I suddenly found myself wanting to be the reason you smile like that. I almost wrote a huge check just to try and get one, but I knew it wouldn't work. I had to really earn it." Gia was quiet for a moment.

"I knew I was going to fall in love with you before we became us, and we became us well before I moved in here. It was shortly after you brought me that coffee as a peace offering. It was after a really bad case, Jacob Henson, the 6 year old that went missing. I was too invested in that case and having to describe what we found, what was done to him...it was horrific. I was the last to testify for the day and I barely held it together on the stand. I remember my voice cracking a few times. I bolted out of that courtroom and I ended up in this little secluded hallway by a window and I fell apart. You found me, said you had been looking for me everywhere. I didn't want to turn and look at you, I was embarrassed and felt so unprofessional. When you asked me to turn around and I refused, you came and stood next to me and put your hand on my back and said 'please look at me.' I have always hated people seeing me cry, but I turned around anyway. You uh, reached into the inner pocket of your suit jacket for something to wipe my tears, when you came up empty, you snatched your pocket square and wiped my tears. I felt bad for ruining it and you folded it neatly and put it in my jacket pocket. Then you put your arm around me and we sat on that window ledge until I was ready. You told me that we didn't have to talk, but that we were going to stay there until I was ready to leave. That you weren't leaving me alone. That was when I knew. I still have that pocket square." He pulled her a little bit closer.

"You are sentimental." He mused. He kissed her forehead before reaching over and tipping her chin up so he could kiss her properly. He pulled away when he felt her wince.

"Sorry, I moved wrong." He pulled her back to him.

"You need to stop apologizing for nothing. Do you need to lay down?" His concern for her wellbeing was endearing. Part of her wanted to close off the rest of the world and stay in the apartment with him indefinitely, though she knew it was unrealistic.

"I can't lay around in that bed anymore. I'm going crazy." She hated that this was the second time in the year that she was injured. She had never been hurt on the job until she was with SVU.

"This is literally your 2nd day home. You barely dodged a bullet, literally. You have rib bruising and you took another blow to the head and while not as serious as the last one, this is your second concussion in less than a year. You're stitched up on your face and arm. I know you think your injuries are minimal and you should 'suck it up', but you still need to heal." She sat up so she could look at him.

"Okay Dr. Barba, I hear you." He shook his head at her, with a faint smile on his face.

"How about you go rest while I finish up some things for the office and I'll come lay with you." She ran her thumb over his cheek. She didn't have it in her to protest going to lay down. She had worried him enough for a lifetime. The dull ache in her head had started becoming more intense.

"Alright Counselor, you win." He looked a little surprised, but took the win. He stood up and helped her to her feet and got her settled before heading back down the hall to finish his work as soon as he could so he could get back to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gia wasn't sure what to think. Rafael had to go into the office for an 8th floor meeting and she had planned on spending the day watching bad TV. That was until Captain Cragen had asked her to meet him for coffee. Gia couldn't think of any other time Cragen had asked her to meet him like that before. She wished her default feeling wasn't anxiety, but that was all she felt lately, just different variations of it.

Once she arrived at the coffee shop, she felt the flutter of anxiety increase when she saw Cragen waiting for her. What on Earth Cragen needed to tell her that he didn't want to over the phone? She also wasn't sure why he didn't want her to come into the precinct. Something was definitely up.

"Captain?" She felt suddenly terrified that they had fired Nick and Cragen because of what happened. It was when she saw his warm smile that her fear dissipated.

"Gia, thanks for coming in. I'm sorry for dragging you out. Though you look great for someone bouncing back from another concussion. She genuinely laughed.

"Thank you. So what...what's going on?" Cragen saw the frantic look on her face. "I know something is up. You aren't the 'meet me for a meal or coffee' type." That was one of the many things he appreciated about Gia, she was straight to the point.

"So I see we're going to skip small talk. Don't worry, Nick still has his badge. It's me. I'm leaving, and before you ask, it was my decision." He watched be brows knit together in confusion.

"Wait...you're serious. What the hell is going on?!" Gia could not wrap her mind around what he had just said.

"Listen, I'm almost at mandatory retirement and I have enough time accrued that takes me there. I actually made the decision before everything that happened with Nick. Eileen and I are going on a six month cruise." The fear melted from Gia's face.

"Captain, that's...that's amazing. A six month cruise? Well for one thing, I'm jealous, but I'm so happy for you. I actually recently floated the idea of running away to an island to Rafael. He countered with threatening to wear a speedo every day." Cragen laughed. He would miss her sense of humor and delivery of funny tidbits. She would be lying if she said she didn't feel a little sad that she wouldn't get more time to work with him.

"Thank you. I didn't want to say anything until Amaro's case was over. I didn't want to distract from that. I also wanted to tell you to your face. You'll be happy to know that Liv will be acting CO as Sergeant." Gia wasn't surprised to hear that.

"Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else taking over this unit." Cragen nodded.

"Neither could I. Gia, it has been such a pleasure to see you grow as a Detective. You have such a bright future ahead of you. One PP sees it, you use that to your advantage, and if they won't budge? You call Jack McCoy. I know that Liv has been your mentor and you are loyal to her. She will want you to make the choice that is best for you, always. Even if it means leaving SVU. Liv, she's an SVU lifer, Gia, you're not. I know why you came to SVU and when you find what it is that you've been looking for, get out. I mean it. I want you to know, you can always call me if you need anything."

"Thank you Captain, that means a lot." Gia looked down, everything he had just said hit her deeply. He put his hand on hers to get her attention.

"Gia, don't allow your family and everything that has happened define you. You are so much more than that and you deserve a lot better than you've been given." Gia laughed.

"You know, I've heard that before." Cragen also laughed.

"I'm sure you have. I don't think Amaro or Barba are very good at keeping their opinions to themselves."

"Not even a little bit. Though Rafael is a little more eloquent in his delivery than Nick is, but not much." Gia shook her head. She knew how the both of them felt about her family. She didn't blame them and she didn't disagree. It was just complicated.

"Just promise me you'll take care of yourself and if you can't, you'll let Rafael do it until you can." Gia smiled at himm.

"I promise. Thank you, Captain, for everything. It's been an honor working for you." He put his hand on her shoulder.

"Be happy, Gia. You deserve that most of all."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a strange day. Rafael had planned on working from home again but he had been called into a meeting with Jack McCoy. They were officially handing the Isaac Moreno case over to The Feds. Rafael had felt relieved. Normally, he'd fight for the case. This time, he just wanted to be done with it. He wanted to be able to move forward from it, for Gia to move forward from it. Letting the Feds take on the hunt for Moreno made it that much easier. The more they dug into him, the worse things they found. He actually couldn't wait to tell Gia they were done with it.

Then, she had texted him and asked him to come home as soon as he could. She had never done that. He had asked her what was wrong. She had assured him she was physically okay, but she didn't want to talk about it on the phone and that she really just needed him.

He had been getting ready to leave when Cragen had stopped into his office to tell him about his retirement. He was telling the rest of the squad that evening. He had met Gia and told her and while she had seemed happy for him, he also knew that she had been hit with a lot of changes and he wanted to give Rafael a heads up in case her happiness was for his benefit. Cragen had also noticed how Gia's anxiety had been on the increase. He didn't feel that she was a liability, he just didn't want to be the cause of any more stress on her. He then made Rafael promise to take care of her, even if she fought it. It wasn't even something Cragen had to ask for. Cragen admitted that he had assumed so, but it made him feel better to say it.

Rafael knew that wasn't what had caused her to ask him to come home. It was something else. Once Cragen was gone, he told Carmen he was finishing the rest of the day at home. She had given him a box for Gia. There was this bakery that she loved and Carmen had stopped to pick up some of the things she knew Gia loved. Rafael had asked her once to run over and grab them before they closed and she had never forgotten. Carmen had said she couldn't do anything to help Gia with what she was dealing with, so she wanted to just do something nice for her. It was then that Rafael realized Carmen probably deserved a raise.

As he opened the door to the apartment, Gia was no where to be seen. She must have been in their bedroom. He hung his coat up, set his bag on one of the living room chairs and made his way into their bedroom.

She was sitting in her chair in a pair of sweatpants and her sleeveless Columbia T-Shirt. She had the ice pack wrapped around her arm. She was sitting in a way that was so familiar to him. Both of her legs were hanging over the arm of the chair. She was, however, sitting at more of an angle to hold the large ice pack on her ribs. Her head was rested on the back of the chair, her eyes closed. He wasn't sure if she was asleep or not.

"Gia?" Her eyes fluttered open. There was a sadness etched onto her face. "What's...what happened?" She sighed, she tossed the large ice pack on the table. He set the box from Carmen on the end of their bed. He helped her stand up. She wrapped her arms around him and he held her for a moment. She pulled away after a moment and kissed him softly.

"Sorry, I just needed that first. She winced as she reached for her phone. "It's just easier if you read it."

He took her phone and saw that it was a text message from Grayson. So much for him giving her time to reach out when she was ready. Once he started reading, he understood why.

His firm had offered him a 6 month assignment overseas to set up an international office. He had said yes, he didn't have much time to make the decision. He and Anna needed to get away from New York for a while and this was the perfect opportunity. He had thought that being with their parents for a while was a good option but it wasn't working out, not for Anna. They would get time away and then be back in New York to get Anna set up for Kindergarten. They would be leaving after the new year, but his firm was announcing it later that day, he didn't want her to find out that way. He ended the message with that he loved her and begged her to call him. Rafael set the phone down. He knew that she hadn't even had the chance to process what had happened and now she had this added to it.

He took a moment to take stock of her. As he studied her face, he noticed that her stitches were gone.

"Did you see the doctor today to get those out." She shook her head.

"I was getting ready to go and meet Cragen." Rafael had let her know that he needed a little bit of time when Cragen had walked into his office, so she knew that he knew. "I couldn't find a way to cover the stitches and I didn't want to go out looking like the Bride of Frankenstein, so I took them out. They did the stitches as a precaution, I didn't really need them." His exasperated expression made her feel a little bad.

"You took them out...What....what was the plan if it wasn't healed and you started bleeding?" He shouldn't have been surprised she took them out on her own.

"Butterfly bandages and a visit to my friend Jesse at the ER? I was fine and I was right." He sighed. How could he even argue with that.

"Please tell me you left the ones in your arm." She laughed.

"Yes. That is not a wound I plan on messing with. The ones in my face were driving me crazy. It feels better without them." He shook his head.

"Before we get into Grayson, can I check the ribs?" She nodded and lifted up the side of her shirt. The bruising was still dark, but the purple had lightened slightly and there was a tinge of yellow around the edges. "Do you want to put the ice pack back on?"

"No, I had it on for a while. It needs to go back in the freeezer. This one too." She unstrapped the one on her arm.

"I am going to go out them in the freezer. You get comfortable and then we can talk. That box is from Carmen, she grabbed you some pastries." She nodded and he headed out of the room.

After he put them back in the freezer, he undid his tie and took off his suit jacket. When he walked back into their room, she was sitting up in bed, leaning against the headboard. She had set the box from Carmen on the nightstand. Normally she would already have opened them. That's how he really knew she was upset. He rolled up his sleeves and then climbed into bed next to her and put his arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I don't even know why I'm so upset. It's probably the best thing for the both of them right now. I know Grayson is the furthest thing from a perfect brother, but not having him a car ride away, right down the street hasn't happened since grad school. Regardless, he always apologizes. I know I said I was sick of apologies, but for the first time, with what happened with Sienna, I think he's ready to really deal with the things he needs to. And Anna? I can't even think about that."

"I think you just explained why you're so upset. It's also only been a couple of days since everything happened with Sienna. Your body hasn't even healed yet, let alone you having time to emotionally deal with all of it." She sighed and was silent for a moment.

"I think I'm afraid that he's not going to come back. I mean, this is the perfect chance to truly start over. There's no chance a judge is going to make him bring Anna to visit Sienna anytime soon. Not after what she did. That would not be good for her, emotionally. He's setting up the new office, what if they ask him to stay permanently? What if Anna flourishes over there and coming back here would be a mistake?" There it was. That was what was really upsetting her. "I feel like every time I turn around lately I'm loosing someone. I almost just lost Nick. Who's next? You?" That broke his heart just a little bit.

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere. I'm in it for the long haul. And you can't worry about something happening to me. None of us can know if something like that is going to happen." He kissed the top of her head.

"I know Raf. I've just been spiraling since I got that text. Especially after Cragen's retirement announcement. I mean they could have coordinated that better." He laughed.

"I thought you were happy for Cragen?"

"Oh no, I am. He deserves happiness, especially after everything that has happened. Eileen has been his second chance. I'm just going to miss him. He fought for me, he believed in me, instantly. It was just the back to back 'hey I'm leaving' messages." She settled into him more as he started running circles into her scalp.

"I think that you're missing the silver lining you're so used to finding. Grayson being overseas means Grayson will have space from your mother. You've always said that Grayson never realized the damage your mother caused him. I think he has now. Being on the other side of the world may give him a chance to truly heal. Also, you have Grayson living in Timbuktu without WiFi or phone access." Gia laughed. Even through everything, he could still make her laugh.

"No, you're right. Space from my mother is the best thing for him. He also doesn't need to take on her recovery. And I know there is WiFi and video chats and all of that. But not seeing him or Anna whenever I want is going to be an adjustment. But also, maybe him being gone will improve our relationship. Him overseas means the space I need without it being the 'I need to go low contact'. I don't want that with him." Rafael was quiet for a moment.

"It also means that Anna's trauma recovery won't be on you, because it shouldn't. You need to recover from your own. I know you haven't dealt with your feelings on what happened with Sienna. You have to grieve that loss. It's a different kind of loss." He felt her tense slightly.

"That's something I wanted to talk to you about. I promised no more surprise jail house visits. I'm going to see her tomorrow." He started to protest.

"Gia that is a terrible idea." Before he could continue, she slowly pulled herself up so she could look at him.

"Just listen, please. Rita is going with me. Raf, I need closure. I need to move on. To do that, I have questions that I have to ask. I don't want to wait. I want to move past this and I know that I need to let that pain in. There are just things I need to say and hear so I can do that. I'm telling you before I do it. I need this and I need you to support me." She was doing what he had asked. He had no right to tell her no.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I know you hate that I feel this need to protect you. You have to realize though. It's not because I think you're weak, or that you can't handle it yourself. It's because I love you with everything that I have and I just want to spare you as much pain, emotional or physical that I can. That's not going to go away." Instead of responding, she kissed him. It was searing and it took him off guard. When she pulled away, she ran her fingers through his hair and then rested her hand on his cheek.

"I know. I know. I also know that I make it incredibly difficult sometimes and I'm trying to get better. I just know I need this." He pulled her by the waist so she was sitting in his lap facing him. Her hands immediately rested on his shoulders.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you? I'll clear my whole damn day." She ran her hand to the nape of his neck, running her nails through the hair on the back of his head.

"She trusts Rita, you set her on edge and I'm pretty sure you need to start doing your actual job again." He laughed.

"True, but I still have a little leeway. My boss happens to be particularly fond of you. Actually, my meeting today was about you a little bit." She scrunched her face a little bit.

"Do tell, don't hold out on me now." He kissed her again before he started talking.

"First and foremost he wanted to make sure you were okay. He also wanted to make sure I was taking care if his, how did he put it? His 'future investment'. You know Jack, he's like you with the jokes. I'm almost terrified at the idea of you working for him." Gia laughed before he continued. "He then wanted to inform me that The Feds wanted the Isaac Moreno case. He wanted to give me the option to fight for it. I said no and to let them take it." She looked genuinely surprised.

"What? Really?" He brushed her hair out of her face.

"Yes, really. Lord knows where he is going to end up for one thing and I want to put this behind us. I want us to move on, move forward. He's dangerous and it truly should be a Federal case." Rafael never gave up a case willingly.

"Raf...thank you. That means a lot."

"It's the truth. I want us looking towards the future."

"And what do you see in the future?" He smiled.

"You, Gia. When I look toward the future, all I see is you." She kissed him again, with more need. "Now, our immediate future is you taking something for your pain and getting some rest while I get some work done. You look exhausted. She nodded.

"I am really tired. Going out to see Cragen took a lot out of me." Rafael slowly slid her off of his lap and settled her back into her spot. He went over to her nightstand and grabbed her some medication and gave her some water.

"You sleep, I'll wake you up in a couple of hours." He pulled the blankets over her and smoothed her hair back.

"Did you really just tuck me in?" She laughed. He leaned downed and kissed her cheek.

"I did. Shut up." She laughed again as he shook and shut the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gia felt nauseous as she followed Rita down to see Sienna. She was definitely second guessing this decision. She knew she was going to be exhausted after this. She could tell Rafael was uneasy on his way out the door as he hesitated to leave. She knew he wanted to be the one holding her hand through this, but she had to do this one on her own.

For being in prison, Sienna looked good. Gia had reached out to one of the guards from when her brother was there and asked that they make sure Sienna was okay. So long as Sienna didn't cause trouble, her back would be watched.

It had been almost a week since the incident, Sienna looked different somehow, in her eyes. The look of relief on her face when she saw Gia walk in was incredibly apparent. Rita led Gia in and nodded at the guard to close the cell door.

"Before you say anything, can I go first?" Sienna asked. Gia nodded.

"First of all, I am so sorry. I know those words sound probably incredibly hollow, but it's true. I am so thankful that you are okay. I would not have been able to live with myself if you weren't. I'm not going to be making excuses, I just want you to understand. I was mentally evaluated, almost immediately when they took me into custody after I signed my deal. I was suicidal. I was in a severe state of psychosis. They diagnosed me with a borderline personality disorder." Sienna closed her eyes for a moment. "I held a gun at you while you were holding my daughter. When I look back now at all of the signs and symptoms...I don't have any words to describe the deep and severe shame I feel. I know it means likely nothing, but I will never forgive myself for what I put you through, the trauma I caused my daughter..." she choked back a sob.

"Sienna, you weren't in your right mind. It obviously doesn't make it okay. But I'd rather this than you just being a monster. I couldn't wrap my brain around that. I wish I had seen the symptoms." Before Gia could continue.

"Please, please don't think that you should have been able to prevent this." Gia shook her head.

"I don't. I wasn't your therapist, I just wish I would have pushed you towards therapy instead of trying to not upset you. Hindsight is all. I'm assuming you're medicated."

"Yes, and I see the therapist daily. They may have me institutionalized." Gia sat back and blinked.

"A hospital for your sentence?" Gia didn't know how she felt about it. On one hand, the one that was so angry that a woman was dead and two little girls were traumatized made Gia want to see Sienna rot in prison. On the other hand, if she wasn't in control of herself, like Gia really place all of that blame on her. Her mental instability is likely what drew Isaac Moreno to her.

"I don't know. I just know that they don't think this place is a good fit for me." Gia didn't know what to say. She had come in here built up by anger and had wanted answers. Now? She knew that Sienna wouldn't be able to answer them. She wasn't going to get them at all."

"I hope that regardless of what happens, you get the help that you need and can have a life when you have your freedom back." Gia meant it. All of the anger that she felt was suddenly gone. It was replaced by sympathy.

"Will they ever let me see her again?" Gia knew she meant Anna.

"I...I can't answer that. I honestly don't know. It won't be for a very long time. You should know. Grayson and Annie are going to be over in Europe for about 6 months. He's helping set up a new office. The both of them need space and time to heel." She watched as a tear fell from Sienna's face. Gia almost...almost wanted to hug her.

"That will be really good for the two of them I think. Maybe it'll give Anna the chance to forget about me." Gia didn't know if she was hunting for sympathy or if she really meant it. Either way, she didn't respond.

"I really came here Sienna, to say goodbye." Gia finally said. She didn't know how much longer she could be in this place with her.

"Goodbye?" Sienna hadn't been expecting that. She had truthfully thought that even after everything she'd still have Gia.

"Yes, goodbye. I have been through so much this year, too much. I need to let this go. You, Isaac Moreno, all of it. For the first time, ever, I see a light at the end of the tunnel and it means that I have to cut out as much of the trauma that I can. I am glad that you're still here and I'm glad that you're finally getting the help that you need...but I can't be apart of your life going forward." Gia saw a flash of anger in Sienna's eyes.

"So even though I'm sick, you're walking away from me?"

"Rita, I'm assuming that you and Sienna have some things to discuss. I can get myself back to the city." Gia stood up, signaling for the guard to let her out.

"Gia please, please don't walk away from me." Sienna pleaded. Gia stopped for a moment

"I'm sorry." She said, without turning around and she walked out and heard Sienna's cries lessen the further she made it down the hall.

[vintageneptune92]

SEBASTIAN STAN | vanity fair 2025

[vintageneptune92]

Burn the Shadow

So I am STUCK on the most recent chapter. It’s definitely a transition chapter, but I don’t know why I’m struggling with it so much.

So….what are some things you would all like to see? I’m hoping that some outside thoughts will help spur an idea. I thought doing a one shot would help, but it did not.

This case of writers block is rough. Halp! 😆

[vintageneptune92]

Two Cent Men

This was a request from rblover891, but their account is no longer active.

Prompt: “What’s the matter sweetheart?”-with Rafael Barba and anon-detective reader. (Reader will be female)

I figured I’d do something to clear up my brain with Burn the Shadow. I don’t know if the last two chapters have been subpar, but not a lot of feedback.

This could have the bones to be a longer, multi-part story if anyone is interested in more.

Let me know 🩷

She was going to get herself fired. If her boss knew she was meeting with even the janitor at District Attorney's office she'd be done. However finding out she was meeting an ADA secretly at a bar to give them information instead of just writing the article, he would have an aneurysm. Scooping the DA's office or NYPD, that brought in revenue with purchases papers and what was most important to him, clicks. Normally she reveled in rubbing it in his face. Yet, she knew she was doing the right thing. Her sense of morality was much stronger than her sense of ego. Whoever was brutally assaulting women in Manhattan needed to be off of the streets. There had been too many victims and their injuries, what they went through, was bone chilling.

She walked discreetly into the bar making sure not to draw attention to herself; and there he was sipping a scotch at a table in the back. She was surprised that it was SVU having issues solving this case. She had an incredible amount of respect for the unit, especially Olivia Benson. She would never be caught dead disparaging her in anything that she wrote. Not that she wrote like that anyway. She focused on the truth, not rumors. She was the best reporter at her place of employment, but that didn't matter; but she wouldn't change who she was for anything. The lead she had stumbled into was major, she knew what she had to do. Of course there would be conditions. She made her way over to the booth and slid in.

"Sherlock" he greeted her with the annoying nickname he had coined for her. At first, it made her furious, but she had learned to search for it. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks, thankful that the darker lighting saved her from embarrassment.

"Abogado." She responded with a teasing tone in her voice. He gave her a small smirk.

"What's the emergency. You've never texted me 9-1-1 before." He sounded amused. Truthfully he was intrigued but also nervous, she didn't see much of anything as an emergency, not in the context of their relationship. She adverted her gaze for a moment. She felt utterly exposed when he looked at her like that. Like he knew all of her secrets. Like he could read her like a book; slowly flipping her pages.

At first, he had been snarky and sardonic. The reporters hounded him non-stop about cases, about outcomes, asking questions they knew he couldn't answer, except her. She would hang to the back, taking in the chaos and just waited until they either dissipated or he walked away. She wouldn't push him for answers knowing he couldn't give them. She would just find them on her own. She made sure she never leaked information that the NYPD needed to keep quiet by giving him the professional courtesy of a conversation.

Then, things changed. It all started the night she walked into the bar for a drink to clear her head. She had a horrific case of writers block and she needed to shake it off to meet a deadline. So she took a break. She saw him sitting there with a glass of scotch. She could tell by his pinched expression that he was struggling. She had approached by asking if he wanted to give an exclusive, with her signature smirk. It melted the tension on his face and he laughed.

She should have walked out, yet he was so alluring. He sat there, sleeves of his white shirt rolled up with his navy vest on. He had ditched his tie and his jacket. The case had been a hard one. It was never easy when you had to send a kid to prison because they were charged like an adult. She was incensed that the laws didn't adapt with research. The brain wasn't fully formed until 25. She had written blazing articles about The 8th floor of the District Attorney's office. She never mentioned Barba, he had appreciated that. He hated this case and the outcome as much as she did.

After that, it became a routine. Anything they talked about was strictly off the record unless he specified that she could print what he told her. He became the one person she felt safe venting her frustrations of how her office operated. She was a true investigative journalist and sometimes she felt like she was the only one left. The only one looking for the truth without an agenda.

She had learned quickly what she could and could not publish. She stopped bringing the things she knew her boss would reject to the table and started publishing them online. Her site had grown quickly. It was seen as one of the few beacons of truth. No one knew it was her, except Rafael.

"I got a lead on the case" her voice was hushed. He raised his eyebrows.

"There's a lot of things we haven't included. Things the public don't know about." He tried to shake off her urgency. She was a great investigator, but even SVU had nothing. He watched as she cocked her head to the side.

"You should know better than to doubt me." He saw her lip twitch, holding back a smile. She took his glass and took a sip of his scotch, he didn't even bother to protest at this point. She relished the burning going down her throat. He always chose the best scotch.

"Once again, I'm telling you this so you can get ahead of it. This is something that the public needs to know. Just so you know that my information is solid, I'll even tell you something you do already know but haven't released to the public yet." That had him intrigued. He motioned to the bar tender to bring two more drinks over after he finished the first one off.

"Well, digame." She secretly loved when he slipped some Spanish into his sentences. Sometimes when he was drinking, she didn't know if he even realized he did it. She waited to speak until the bartender left the table after bringing their drinks over.

"The signature. Two pennies are branded onto the victim." He almost choked on his drink. He and SVU had kept that a secret, so secret in fact that it wasn't on any official documents. She could tell she had him. She had become an expert in reading people, in reading him. The way his breath hitched ever so slightly, his leaning in and the tiny twitch at his mouth. There was also a look of fleeting panic in his eyes. Surprising him was always a thrill.

"What's the matter sweetheart? You worried that someone leaked that? Let me set you at ease, they didn't." She had a satisfied look and a ghost of a smile crossed his face. This is what they did. The verbal sparing, the teasing. Their whole relationship, that couldn't be labeled was intoxicating.

"Okay, I'm on the hook, as you like to say. Tell me what I don't know, what Olivia doesn't know." This was the moment she was waiting for all day, to unburden herself. Most journalists, the ones who were money hungry and wanted the sensationalism would have announced it in a huge public way, but not her. She always felt like her insides were Itchy when she held onto something that could help get a dangerous criminal off the streets.

"You are working on the assumption that there is one perp. You're wrong, there are two." She held up her index and middle finger before setting them back down on the table "That's why the two pennies. It's why they don't leave a trace of DNA. They clean up after each other. They know how to make sure there isn't a single fiber left behind and they've been doing this for years." She saw his eyes darken, she wasn't sure why.

She expected more of a reaction instead of silent brooding. Then, he did something completely unexpected, he reached for her, his fingertips gracing her knuckles. The contact was brief, but it was enough to send electricity into her hand and through her body. There was a look in his eyes that she had never seen before. It was something like fear mixed with concern.

"Where did you get this information?" His voice was tight and it was making her anxious. She took a long sip of her drink that the bartender had brought over. They were there so often that when either one of them came in, the bartender knew exactly what they would order. He always had a scotch and she had a raspberry vodka with a splash of pineapple juice and club soda. Rafael always made fun of her for the drink. What she didn't know was that he loved that her drink choice was as nuanced and layered as she was. His hand was rested on the table so close to hers that she could feel the heat of it and craved the feeling of it.

"A very reliable source and before you ask, the answer is no. I won't give up my source. They are highly credible and I won't put them in anyone's crosshairs." He closed his eyes for a moment. Trying to decide if he would follow this lead. She was always on the mark, he didn't think that had changed.

"I know. I know not to even ask at this point. I understand. I'm just worried about you. These men are sadistic. If they find out you are getting close, they could come after you." She couldn't quite place the look on his face anywhere on the scale of emotions. Whatever it was, she felt like someone was pounding on a base drum in her heart.

"These two men, they um, they know how to handle a crime scene. They're not amateurs." She didn't want to say it out loud. It was never something you wanted to have to say.

"You think they have a law enforcement background." He said it for her. She didn't say anything for a moment, she rolled her lips together, making them almost disappear for a moment.

"Yes. My source is certain. They have never been wrong. They've been all over the Tristate area. They avoid detection by changed their signature. Regardless of what the choose, it includes two of the same thing." He hooked his middle finger around her own, a look of alarm on his face.

"You have to stop investigating, immediately. Hand everything over to Benson. This is too dangerous." He spoke quickly. She felt her stomach clench. For a while now, she knew there was something between them; something that they left unsaid. It floated all around them.

At first, they had both pretended to bump into each other, neither realizing that it was intentional. Eventually, they fell into a routine. Meeting at the bar, stopping by his office late at night while he was working late, so late in fact that he was the only one left in the building.

"I can't. This is my story. This is what I was made for. This story will put me on the map. This will get me out of that hell hole, to an organization that will allow me to do what I've been put on this Earth to do. This could get me a Pulitzer." She saw a wave of fury cross his face, it was like she said something so incredulous that it was offensive.

"Your life is worth it?" She scoffed. The double standard at work at the moment was astounding. She yanked her hand away. He almost looked wounded.

"Like your job isn't dangerous? The hypocrisy is stunning. Or is it because you don't see what I do as important? You don't think it makes a difference? I've uncovered things you and a team of detectives would never be able to find because of the network I have built, the trust I am owed. Try solving this one on your own. I'm done helping. I'll keep doing what I do and when you all look foolish, don't come crying to me about it. Clocks ticking, I release this info in 24 hours." Her yell was in a hushed tone, trying not to draw attention to them. She downed the rest of her drink, threw a $20 bill down on the table and stormed out, rendering him speechless for a moment. Before he could stop himself, he was up and rushing after her.

She was fast, even in stilettos, he'd give her that. How she wore them day after day he had no idea. Though he always knew she was coming by the sound they made as she walked. Her walk had a cadence that was all her own. He could find her anywhere in a room. He finally caught up to her and was able to cut her off and she came to a halt almost running into him, she stopped with her hand on his chest. He wanted to protest when she pulled it away.

"Move Rafael." Her voice was tight and controlled. He knew she was angry when she used his first name. She tried to walk around him and he stepped in front of her, she huffed, crossing her arms.

"Just stop for a second, please. Just...come here." He took her by the elbow and pulled her closer to the side of the restaurant they had ended up in front of.

"NONE of what you just said is true. None of it. Do you not have any idea how much I respect you? I see how hard you work. I've seen what you've built, all on your own. Not at that stupid paper with an idiot boss that doesn't see you. I see you. What you do is incredibly important. It's just..." his voice trailed off.

"It's just what?" Her voice had softened and she dropped her arms to her sides. He closed his eyes for a moment and let out a breath. He didn't plan on telling her this now, if ever. The complications this could bring, but he couldn't have her thinking he didn't value her.

"It's just that I really care about you, okay? More than I should, in a way that I shouldn't. If your sources know these two men, then they know how sadistic they are. I have actually seen it, with my own eyes. The idea that they would go after you because of what you're writing...I can't..." He couldn't even finish his sentence. All semblance of anger had melted from her face. She put her hand on the side of his face, her thumb ghosting across his cheek.

"You can't what?" Her voice crackled slightly with emotion. She wasn't used to seeing him so vulnerable. His green eyes were scanning her face looking for an answer he needed from her before he gave her one.

"I can't...I can't lose you." Her adverted his gaze and looked at the ground. He felt an increase in anxiety when she didn't say anything. There was one thing about her he knew to be true, she was never speechless. After a few silent torturous moments, she put him out of his misery when she slipped her hand in his. He snapped his head up to look in her eyes. Her eyebrows were knitted together, face flooded with emotion.

"You won't lose me. I...I care about you too in a way that I shouldn't" He licked his lips. Their proximity more apparent than ever. He fought every urge he had in that moment.

"C'mon, let me buy you dinner. We can figure out how to get you the hell out of that hell hole you're working in. Then, we are finding a way to keep you safe. She nodded, and let him lead her by the hand into the restaurant behind them.

[vintageneptune92]

My two faves are “What are you, a bat?” and “Obfuscate? Yummy.”

That dry sense of humor and snark gets me every time

Rafael Barba & Dominick Carisi LAW AND ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT, Season 16 (2014)

16x11 — Agent Provocateur 16x13 — Decaying Morality 16x16 — December Solstice 16x19 — Granting Immunity

[vintageneptune92]

Burn the Shadow- 17

I feel unsettled with this chapter, not sure why. I just wanted to put it out there so I stop writing and re-writing.

Thank you for all of your likes, comments and reposts! 🩶

Gia stood in the familiar spot in front of their window looking out over the city. She had spent the night in the hospital and was released the next day in the late afternoon. She had suffered a mild concussion, much to the relief of the doctors. She had been lucky that her injuries weren't worse. The stitched up wound on her arm burned with pain. The small laceration that was stitched up on her head wasn't much better.

She had convinced Rafael to go to work that morning. There was too much work to be done. She had promised him that if she felt off, she would call him. She also promised that she would not step a single toe out of their apartment. Not that she even wanted to.

Her mother was alive and had been airlifted to Mass General at Grayson's insistence. He had taken Anna and gone with her. For the time being, he didn't want to be anywhere near the city. Gia couldn't really blame him. Isaac Moreno still hadn't been found. Her father had left as well, but promised he would call her this afternoon to check on her. Once her mother was stable, he was coming back to the city.

Gia was glad neither of the Moreno men had stayed behind. Grayson blamed her, Rafael had told her what he had said. For the first time, she found that she didn't care what he thought. The fact was, no one could have predicted Sienna getting her hands on a gun. Gia had gone there and did what she was supposed to do, protect her niece to the best of her ability. If he hadn't insisted her mother go, maybe things would have been different. Sienna wouldn't have planned such a bold move. There was enough blamed to go around, it wasn't just on her. Vano had been hesitant to leave, but Gia was conscious and in good hands. Gia would never hold that against him. Grayson couldn't even be bothered with a text message. The apathy that filled her at the moment saved her from feeling hurt by that. The one thing she knew for sure, short of testifying against Isaac Moreno, Gia was done with all of it.

The one thing nagging at her was what her mother had said to her. It was the first time in her life she had experienced any sort of affinity from her mother, and that example was stretching it. Her mother felt compelled to make Gia strong, no matter the cost. She wanted to question her mother, but she didn't know when she would get the chance. She also didn't think that her mother would open up about it once she was healed.

She was surprised to hear a knock at the door. Her eyebrows pulled together as she made her way over to the door. She was surprised to see who was on the other side of the door. She opened the door, immediately.

"Captain, hi...come in." Gia stepped to the side to let him in. "Is everything okay?" Captain Cragen wasn't one to make house calls.

"Yes, I just wanted to come check on you." Gia nodded.

"I'm sure Barba had nothing to do with it. Truthfully Captain, I'm feeling pretty rough. Please sit down." She motioned to the dining room table and they both took a seat.

"I wanted to tell you in person that the recording you made ensured that Sienna made a deal. She will be serving 20 years. If we get the chance to bring in Isaac Moreno, she testifies against him." Gia closed her eyes. Twenty years was what she had earned, minimally, but the idea that Anna would be grown by the time she got out made Gia's heart ache just a little.

"What do you mean if we get the chance to bring Moreno in?" His wording was bothering her.

"We were notified that he left the country and is in Cuba. When his lawyer told him that Sienna was cooperating with us, he got out." Gia shook her head.

"So much for them being in it together." Gia scoffed.

"Indeed. I spoke with 1PP, they were impressed by the way you handled the situation, especially that recording. Getting your niece safely out of the way and all of the other hostages out made things a lot easier for the department." The compliment sank like a rock in her stomach. Cragen watched her expression carefully.

"Gia...when you're ready to get back to work, do you want to come back to SVU?" Gia leaned back in her chair and sighed.

"I do. It’s funny, I told Rafael the other day that I wasn't done yet. I came here to heal something inside of me by helping other women heal. I have more work to do." Cragen offered her a smile.

"I'm assuming this was after Jack McCoy offered you a job?"

"Who told you?" Gia hadn't mentioned it to anyone yet. She hadn't had the chance.

"Jack McCoy. He told me a while ago he was going to steal you from me. He let me know he put it out there. I was surprised you turned him down." Gia paused for a moment.

"I won't lie, it was appealing. I just...I don't want to leave NYPD. I also have a suspicion that 1PP may have gotten some information that Jack McCoy was interested. This case you gave me, multi jurisdictional? Seems like a test." Cragen gave her a knowing smile.

"I said the same thing. I met your father at the hospital. He's very proud of you. He was pretty guilt stricken that he had to leave you."

"I'm sure it will pass for him." Her snarky response gave him pause. Cragen studied her face again. She definitely wasn't herself.

"Are you okay?" Gia shrugged.

"Truthfully...I feel very unsettled. I have a lot of unanswered questions. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if my mother hadn't inserted herself in Grayson's life and relationship like she did. What would have happened if I hadn't gone with her to take Anna? I'm almost certain my mother would be dead and Sienna and Anna would be gone. Maybe Grayson is right. Maybe it is my fault for helping get together that visit." Gia sighed.

"You and I both know that that visit was going to happen, even if it was just a week later. Rita had already started the process. It was smart to have it come across as Grayson willing to do it. I told him so, before he left the hospital. Amaro filled me in on a little of the dynamic between you and your brother. I will say this, don't hold anything that he said to Rafael against him yesterday. I think that no one should be held to what they have said on the worst day of their life. Now, if he continues with that opinion, it's a different story." Gia hummed in agreement.

"I agree, to an extent. I just don't know how much more target practice from my family I can take." Cragen stood up.

"You are an incredibly empathetic person Detective. If you've hit the point where you've had enough, they've probably pushed well past the limit. I'm going to let you get some rest." Gia stood to walk him to the door.

"Oh, and before I forget, because I'm sure you're not going to be up to it this Friday, we got word that Olivia will be staying on at SVU as Sergeant. She's having a dinner at her apartment this. I told her I would tell you when I came to see you." Gia smiled, a real smile.

"That's amazing. And you're right, I don't think I'll be up for any celebrations this weekend. I'm not sure how long it's going to take for me to be ready."

"Whenever you're ready Detective, we will be glad to have you back."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rafael was itching to get home. He hadn't spoken to Gia much throughout the day. He knew by the few text messages he received, she had been resting quite a bit and that Cragen had stopped to see her. Amaro had mentioned that he had a quick call with her earlier in the day as well. He was just glad she wasn't shutting anyone out. He wouldn't lie that he was worried about that.

When Rafael walked through the apartment door, it was dark and quiet. He hated that. Usually if Gia got home before he did, the lights were on, music was playing and if she got home early she was cooking. The quiet apartment meant she was quiet. As he made his way through to the bedroom, he saw that the light was on.

Gia was sitting on the bed, surrounded by a few stacks of pictures and some albums. She didn't look upset, but she was taking inventory of something. Something had happened between the time she left to take her niece and when she came home from the hospital. The bruise on the side of her face was a shade of dark purple, almost black. He observed her for a moment. She had picked up a 4x6 photo and stared at it for a moment. She had pulled it close to her face to examine it. She noticed him when she set it down. It was like a light clicked on behind her eyes. He hoped that he never did anything to make her stop looking at him like that.

"Hi." He leaned against the doorway.

"Hi back." Her voice was light. She moved a pile of pictures and albums so he could sit down. He made his way over after he set his suit jacket on her chair. Once he sat down, she moved towards him and kissed him with both hands on the sides of his face. It was like she was putting everything she felt for him into that kiss. When they broke apart, he saw a tear slip from her eye.

"Hey, what's wrong?" His face laced with concern. She shook her head and smiled.

"Nothing. I just, sometimes when I think about what I feel for you, what you mean to me, it overwhelms me. Not in a bad way though." Her hair was piled on top of her head. He twirled the strands that always slipped out at her temple. She wasn't sad, but she was definitely emotional.

"Amor, what is all of this." She looked down at the pictures and albums and then back to him.

"Just...I don't know. Trying to trigger something. I'm missing pieces of something. My mom yesterday, after she got shot, she saw the tears in my eyes and she told me not to cry. That she made me strong, she made me into steel. I cannot think of one moment that my mother was loving towards me. I look through all of these pictures and there's nothing. But yesterday, I saw something in her eyes before she went unconscious. It was...it was admiration? I don't know. I'm so confused. I feel like there is something someone isn't telling me. That memory of Gabriel. I think it's the key to it. I blocked something out and it's driving me crazy." He moved a little closer to her.

"Maybe you should trust yourself and not push to remember just yet. Maybe you're just not ready. Maybe what you saw in your mother's eyes was regret. She did make you strong. You are made of steel. I've seen it, the inner strength you have to pull through...anything...is special. Maybe in that moment, she regretted how she forged you." Gia sighed and leaned against the pillows behind her. She winced as she moved her arm.

"Maybe...I just haven't had much to do but let my mind wander. I don't know where things stand with my family and I. Maybe I shouldn't care. Sienna, she told me that I changed when you and I started spending time together. That I had a light in my eyes, a spark that hadn't been there before. She said the best thing I did was cut them off after I came to stay with you. She's not wrong. You changed me." He smiled and cupped the side of her face.

"Should I be concerned that you're taking advice from someone who might be a little bit crazy?" Gia started laughing, the unshed tears she had fell from her eyes. He turned her face to get a better look at the bruise on her face. She winced slightly.

"It's bad." She had a row of stitches along her hair line from where her head hit the corner of the wall. It looked painful. She was wearing a tank top and he could see the bruising that was blooming around the gauze where the bullet grazed her arm.

"How's the arm?" He ran his index finger down the side of her face that wasn't bruised.

"It hurts like a son of a bitch. The bruising on my ribs is torture. Every time I move it pulls." He could see the pain on her face.

"Did you take the pain medication they gave you?" She shook her head. "Why are you so stubborn?" He stood up and went over to the dresser to get the bottle of medication.

"I feel fuzzy when I take it. I didn't want to when I was home alone." He gave her a sharp look.

"I told you I would stay with you." She shook her head.

"No, no. You're needed at the office. I can deal with a little pain." He could hear the strain in her voice.

"Gia, I can do all of that from here. That's what technology is for. You're taking this and you're going to lay down. I'm going to go get some ice packs for you. I know you don't want to be taken care of. You saved Sienna's life. You saved your mother's life. You made sure your niece was safe. You've earned being taken care of." She let out a large breath he knew then that she didn't have it in her to argue. She put her hand out for the medication.

"My dad called a little while ago. My mom is in a medically induced coma, but she's going to pull through. Its funny, ironically, that we both needed blood transfusions. My brother is a match for my mom. She needed a lot more than I did. I'm lucky that they had A- for me." Rafael's head ticked to the side.

"Your dad said he wasn't a match for you either." Gia shrugged.

"Genetics are weird." I think Gabe and I were the same."

"I was expecting a dissertation on genetics and blood types." He teased.

"One day I'll read up on it and then give you a lesson on it." He kissed her lightly.

"Well, I can't wait. I'll be right back, I'll get the ice packs." Rafael headed out of their bedroom and was halted by a knock at the door. Rafael was unsurprised to see Amaro standing behind it.

"Come in, Amaro." Nick walked in, looking a little nervous. It wasn't something Rafael was used to seeing from him.

"How uh, how is she?" Nick had his hands in his coat pockets, looking generally uneasy.

"Introspective but she seems okay, all things considered. Why do I think you're here to ruin that?" Amaro rolled his jaw.

"Grayson left a letter for her. I feel like I've been holding onto a ticking time bomb. He reached into his jacket to pull it out. Rafael took the letter from him and inspected it. Grayson had sealed it. Rafael handed it back to him.

"She's in our room, I'm grabbing some ice packs for her. Go give it to her. You can't keep it from her." Nick nodded. He turned back around after he headed towards the bedroom.

"What do you mean introspective." Rafael sighed.

"She's trying to piece something together, her family." Rafael saw a tick near Amaro's eye.

"I honestly hope they never come back. I hope she cuts them off. It seems all they do is cause her pain."

"I know Amaro, I know." Rafael turned and went into the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, Guapo!" Gia greeted Nick as he walked into the room.

"They give you the good stuff?" Nick laughed.

"Yeah, I didn't want to take it, but this is awful" she motioned for Nick to sit on the edge of the bed.

"How are you, Gee?" Nick asked, his tone more serious.

"Honestly, I'm okay or okay adjacent. Everyone came out alive. That's something. What's the matter?"

"Why would you think there's something wrong?" She rolled her eyes.

"Um...your face?" Nick shook his head with an amused look.

"Grayson left a letter for you." Gia turned her head to look towards her bedroom window, the bruise on her face fully displayed. "Jesus, Gianna." Nick reached to touch her face but pulled his hand back.

"When did he give it to you?" She looked back at him, the joking look on her face had faded.

"In the hospital, you were still out of it, I don't know what it says, so I wanted to give it to you when Rafael was home." Gia reached out and squeezed his hand.

"You're a good friend, Nick Amaro." He took her hand and squeezed it back.

"And you're a real life hero Gianna Monroe." She scoffed and waved him off.

"I did what anyone of us would do." Nick shook his head.

"No, none of us would have pushed someone out of the way of the sniper bullet." Gia chewed on her inner cheek.

"Is it weird that 1PP isn't pissed off about it?" Nick thought for a moment.

"Well, I know you did it to save her because you love her. They think you did it because of her confession. That you thought she was more valuable alive." Gia let out a groan.

"That is so gross. She wasn't going to shoot me. I could have talked her down. I wouldn't want anyone to die unless it couldn't be prevented."

"I know Gia, but they aren't on your ass about it, so just go with it." She nodded.

Rafael walked in and gave Gia the large ice pack to put across her ribs. He had one for her arm that had a band on it to strap it on.

"Do you want one for your face?" Gia shook her head. "Later then. I'm going to give you two some time. I have some work to do and I'll order some dinner, you staying Amaro?" Gia knew there was some contention between the two men at times, but it was really endearing that they tried to get along for her behalf.

"No, I am going to have dinner with my mother a little later, but thank you for offering." Rafael nodded and left the room.

"Gee, what is all of this stuff?" He motioned to the pictures on the bed.

"I don't know. My family is...complicated. I'm just trying to figure things out, jog a memory."

"Maybe you should leave it alone." Gia laughed.

"You and Rafael are much more alike than you think. He said the same thing. I've just got some things to think through." He nodded.

"Don't let them hurt you anymore than they already have. You deserve so much better." Gia looked down at the letter in her hands.

"Family is complicated. I know you know that. Sienna said some things that made an impression. She wasn't wrong when she said I was my happiest when I was low contact with my parents. We'll see." Nick stood up and picked up all of the photos and put them in the open box. He then picked that up with her photo albums and went and set them on the table near her chair.

"Take a break from it for tonight. I think that letter will give you enough to think about. I need you to make me a promise. Promise me you're going to take a break from the hero gig. I don't know if I can take seeing you in a hospital bed every couple of months." Gia let out a soft laugh.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I don't need another blow to the head. At least it was just a mild concussion this time." Nick shook his head. He walked back over to Gia and put his hand on the side of her face that was uninjured and kissed her on the top of her head.

"I love you. You call me if you need to talk after you read that letter. If you need me to drive to Boston and kick his ass, I'm on it." Gia laughed.

"I'm pretty sure I'll be okay, but thank you for the offer. I love you, too. Tell your mom I said hi." Nick nodded.

"Will do Gee. I'll talk to you later." She put her hand on her heart as he left the room.

She looked down at the letter trying to decide if she wanted to read it or wait. She knew that her mind wouldn't let her rest until she read it. She closed her eyes for a moment and then ripped the letter open.

Gigi,

I'm sorry I won't be here when they let you out of the hospital. With mom being so bad, I have to go. Honestly, I really need to get out of the city. I need to get Anna out of the city for now, until it feels safe again. Please know, my leaving has nothing to do with you.

I was mad at you, and at first I blamed you. Believe me, Rafael set me straight. He really is a good man, and he loves you. He's the reason why I know that you'll be okay. We promised to stick together in Manhattan. Things obviously change. He can offer you the support you need, support that I have never been able to provide you.

The truth is, I am to blame for all of this. Trevor Langdon showed me Sienna's video interview and then he played me the recording you made in that apartment. Sienna was right, about everything she said about our relationship. I obviously have a lot of things to work on, especially regarding our mother.

You really are the best of us. You saved her life. At first, it enraged me that you would save a woman that tried to kill our mother, that allowed another woman to be killed, that planned on taking my child from me. Then I realized, it's because you still see the best in people. You see their potential. You saw it in Gabe. You saw it in Sienna. You've always seen it in me, especially when I don't deserve it. I still don't. I have failed you in so many ways, to my everlasting shame.

Please take care of yourself. Put yourself first. Be happy. I know Rafael makes you happy. I see it in you. I see it in your eyes when you look at him. More importantly, I see it in his eyes when he looks at you. Let him take care of you, even for a little while.

When you're ready, let me know and I will call you. We can video chat so you and Anna can talk. She loves you so much, and so do I. Thank you for keeping my daughter safe. It's a debt I will never be able to repay.

All of my love,

Gray

Gia watched as a tear fell from her face onto the light blue stationary right below Grayson's perfect handwriting. She slowly moved and got up from the bed. She set the letter down on top of the photo albums Nick had moved.

She went to use the bathroom and got a good look at herself. She cringed at her reflection in the mirror. She had deep circles under her eyes and the bruising on the left side of her face stood out against her paler than normal skin, topped off with an ugly row of stitches. She removed the ice pack Rafael had strapped to her arm. She could see bruising around the wound. She removed the bandage to look at the wound on her arm. It was an deep four inch gash that was about a quarter of an inch wide. It was bruised, red and ugly with a row of stitches to match her head. She cleaned it the way her doctor told her and rebandaged it. She thought about what Rafael and Nick had said. Maybe she shouldn't pick on the scab of forgotten memories.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gia wandered down the hallway Into Rafael's home office. He was typing furiously into his laptop, glass of scotch next to him and his eyebrows tightly knitted together. She knocked lightly on the open door and his head snapped up, his expression softening at the sight of her.

"You're supposed to be resting." He chided.

"I've been resting all day. I had to get out of that bed. She made her way over to him and he rolled his chair back away from his desk and she sat on his lap, one arm around his shoulders and rested her head against his.

"How did it go with Nick?" He asked tentatively.

"It was fine. I'm glad he came." Rafael didn't know if he should mention the letter or not, but he had to know.

"Did you read the letter?" He figured the direct approach was best.

"Ah, so he asked you if he should give it to me? It was typical Grayson, or what I've now seen to be typical Grayson. He acts like an asshole and then he repents. I just...I'm sick of having to accept apologies. Especially from the same people. It's exhausting." Weariness had seeped into her words.

"You don't have to accept anyone's apology. You don't owe them anything." Rafael was tired of seeing them twist her into knots.

"He left it for me to text him when I'm ready to talk. I'm going to give it some time I think." Gia didn't know what else to do. What she did know was that her heart couldn't take any more disappointments.

"You have to do what's best for you. Put yourself first for once Amor." She kissed his temple and adverted her eyes to his computer.

"What are you working on?" She was looking at the screen intently.

"Trying to find a way to get Isaac Moreno back to the states. He's not going to stay in Cuba for long. He will be back and he will be coming for his daughter." Gia could sense the tension in him.

"Well, if he comes back to New York, we will find him. What about Giselle?" Rafael shut his computer to give Gia his full attention.

"She will be living with Sara's sister. They're moving. I don't even know to where. We offered WITPRO but they said no." Gia was quiet for a moment.

"You can't save everyone either Rafael." He leaned back in the chair so he could see her better.

"You're one to talk." She gave him a small smile.

"I'm hoping those days are behind me, at least for a little while." He didn't say anything. Gia studied his face for a moment. There was something there. Gia stood up so she could look at him fully. He sighed deeply and stood, motioning for her to sit with him on the love seat in his office.

She had never seen him like this before. He wasn't angry, she had seen him angry. This was something that she couldn't place. He took a long sip of his Scotch before he joined her.

"Raf, what is it? Talk to me." He looked down for a moment.

"With Alison, I understood. She was your best friend, she was being attacked. You almost didn't walk away from it. Gia, you jumped in front of a bullet for a woman that shot your mother and was holding you hostage." She blinked a few times.

"It's not that simple." She said quietly.

"I think it is." He wasn't yelling, but there was a little bite in his voice.

"It's not. Sienna is Anna's mother. She loves her. They didn't even call back to try and talk her down." Gia could feel her defenses going up.

"She was holding her child while holding a gun on your mother. Of course they weren't going to negotiate. She pointed a loaded gun at you!" He raised his voice at the end. He stood pinching the bridge of his nose with his other hand on his hip. He paced slightly.

"She was desperate, she thought she was going to lose her daughter." Gia argued. He spun to look at her.

"And I thought I was going to lose you!" When she looked up at him, he had tears in his eyes.

"Rafael..." the look on his face deflated any anger she had started feeling.

"When I heard it was you that was shot, I thought...I thought they had made a mistake, shot you instead and I thought I had lost you, for a couple of moments while I was losing it, I thought you were gone. Then they told me that you pushed her out of the way. You can't do that anymore. Jump infront of literal and figurative bullets. It's not just you anymore. I let you in." Gia stood up and wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She teared up too. His forehead was on her on her shoulder. He pressed his lips to her shoulder and then the side of her neck before he pulled away to look at her. He wiped the tears off her face and then he kissed her, careful to avoid the bruising on her face. When they pulled apart, he took her by the hand and walked her back to the couch so we could sit down.

"Look, I'm not stupid. Your job comes with a risk, but you can't keep throwing yourself into the line of fire. I cannot lose you." His voice was much softer.

"I just saw her standing in front of that window and I knew what was going to happen. I thought...I thought I had enough time. I thought I would make it and not get hit. I wasn't trying to take the bullet for her." She needed him to understand that she wasn't trying to sacrifice herself.

"You tend to see people at their potential, not for who they really are." She let out a short laugh.

"Grayson said the same thing, less eloquently." She shook her head.

"In the letter?" She nodded.

"He said I see the best in people who let me down. Gabe, Sienna and him." She looked away.

"Look at me." She let out a breath before turning back.

"She is not worth a hair on your head. If you hadn't been on the phone with Nick, if he hadn't heard...she wouldn't have hesitated to kill you, in front of her daughter. She would have ruined her."

“She wasn’t going to hurt me.” Gia insisted.

“Gia, she literally said to you that she didn’t want to kill you but that she wasn’t going to let you stop her from leaving with her daughter. She absolutely would have killed you.” He watched her face as she processed what he said. She hadn't really felt the ramifications of what had happened.

She felt a wave of self-loathing sinking in. Part of her didn't think that Sienna would actually hurt her. She just wanted her daughter. She didn't want her daughter taken away from her. Wouldn't she do the same if that were her child?

"I don’t even remember her saying that. She would have killed me." Her words came out in a hushed tone as she lifted her head up. "I...I didn't think she would actually hurt me." She stood back up, holding her head in her hands.

"Gia..." Rafael started.

"God...why am I like this?!" Rafael stood up and took her by her hands.

"Mira, it's like Grayson said, you see the best in everyone, not everyone can live up to it; but there is a pattern to the people that fail you" She pulled away putting her hand on her forehead. There was an ache starting behind her eyes.

"I know...I don't know why I let them." she finally answered.

"Because they are your family and you love them." She swiped the tears off her face.

"I've been chasing after a happy family that doesn't exist since I've been a kid. Maybe it's time to throw in the towel. My mother is never going to change. I don't know what I saw in her eyes after she was shot, but it doesn't excuse the metric ton of mental abuse she put me through. My father, while trying to be better, who knows. With Grayson and all of this..." she looked up while shaking her head.

"I shouldn't have said anything." Rafael said more to himself than to Gia.

"Yes, you should have. Rafael we are in this together and if we don't have the hard conversations, we will end up like Sienna and my brother. Just, less homicidal." Rafael took the few steps to reach her again. He gently put a hand on her shoulder and one on the opposite hip.

"Listen to me, we will never be what your brother and Sienna turned into. Nunca." Gia took a couple of deep breaths.

"I just...I'm afraid." She finally admitted. It looked as if she had been holding that inside for her whole life. He slid his hand over her shoulder and rested it on the side of her face. He studied her for a moment.

"What on earth are you afraid of?" He couldn't understand what he meant.

"I'm afraid I'm going to turn into my mother, abandoning my family." It was a moment of clarity for Rafael.

It made what happened in that apartment make sense. Her mother had essentially abandoned her son, something Gia saw as incredibly egregious. She hadn't just abandoned him when he was on trial, Gia believed that she abandoned him when he was a child. Gabriel had been executed. The idea of Sienna being essentially executed by a sniper was something she wouldn't have been able to live with.

"You couldn't be any less like her if you tried. Not giving carte blanche access to family members that hurt you isn't abandoning them."

She swallowed before adverting her gaze for a moment. It was a notion she was really struggling with. He thought she was going to pull away, instead, she hooked her arms around his back and he gently placed his arms around her, not wanting to hurt her. She rested the un-stitched side of her face against him. He made her feel safe. She wanted to get back to the headspace where she felt happy.

"I know you're right." He heard her say.

"I'm not telling you to completely remove them from your life, just some distance." He felt her nod her head.

"I love you." He heard her say.

"I love you too, so much. C'mon, let's get something to eat and we'll watch a movie." He put his arm around her and led her out of the office.

[vintageneptune92]

Burn the Shadow- 16

Here you go!!

"Absolutely not!" Grayson was incredulous. Gia was sitting at the counter with her head in her hands.

"Grayson, listen to me, please. Your daughter misses her mother. She is begging to see her. I don't know if it will do more harm or good, but we have to try. At the end of the day, regardless of how Sienna is involved in this, Isaac Moreno paid someone millions to take out his wife and he’s trying to blame it on Sienna. He cannot get away with it. I have Calhoun on my side. She’s willing to let me go in to try and convince Sienna to tell us. But she’s not going to give it up without getting something. And Anna? She needs to see her mother. She needs to see that she is in some semblance of okay. All she keeps remembering is Olivia ripping her out of Sienna’s arms. Let’s reset her last memory.” Gia was literally begging. She wished she had taken Olivia up on coming with her, she was so good at this.

"This isn't about Anna, it's about solving your case!" Gia jumped off her chair.

"It's not even MY case first of all! Second of all, do you really think I would put that little girl at risk just for a case? I would never. I'm also not going to lie to you and pretend like it won't help in pushing her to talk. Eventually, a judge will grant her supervised visits. It will make YOU look better if you are willing to play ball. I will take her. Her lawyer Rita Calhoun will be there too. Nothing is going to happen to her. Grayson, Isaac Moreno is dangerous. He was willing to kill his wife so he could run away with yours. What if he comes after you now?" A look of alarm crossed Grayson's face.

"What if he comes after you?" He walked over to the couch and sat down. Gia walked over and sat down next to her brother.

"Gray, he's not going to lay a finger on me." Grayson glanced to the side to look at her.

"Look at the way he behaved in the hospital with people around. You're the one that caught him and Sienna. He absolutely could come for you too. God this is so fucked."

"I know, Gray. You need to listen to me. I will be fine. First of all he would be an idiot to come after me now. He was trying to intimidate me to get me to back off of the investigation. We were in the middle of a hospital, he wanted to scare me. I'm also not dumb, I already clocked the danger on Moreno. He was just more ballsy than I thought” Gia conceded. She'd be lying if she wasn't watching her back a little more diligently. "I'm a detective. I'm trained for this, and I have a hell of a team watching my back. I will be fine."

"She gives you information first and then she can see her. I want that man off the streets." Gia put her hand on Grayson's shoulder.

"Thank you, Gray. I'm not crazy about this either. But Anna will be safe, I will always protect that child with my life. I trust Rita Calhoun and I can have Trevor there too." He nodded.

"Gianna, I trust you. I'm sorry for suggesting you were just using her. I feel like I'm loosing my mind." Gia squeezed his hand to offer him some reassurance.

"Don't. It's forgotten. I cannot tell you the number of times I have felt completely insane since Ali and I were attacked. I'm going to go see Rafael and call Rita and let her know it’s a go. I'll keep you updated, okay?" As Gia stood up to head towards the door, Grayson stopped her and pulled her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him back just as tightly.

"Thank you, for taking care of Anna and I know seeing mom is hard for you, but you're amazing. I never noticed her bating you until the other day. I promise, when all of this is over, she and I are going to have a real conversation." A week ago, Gia would have given anything to hear that from him. Now? She didn't care. Having Rafael jump to her defense like that, having someone in her life that really saw her, Giulia Monroe didn't have as much of an effect.

"Grayson, don't worry about any of that. I'll let you know what's going on soon. Try not to worry too much, okay? I’m glad Anna is doing well with the new Nanny and her son. When she gets back from the park tell her I’ll call her later?" He nodded, walking her to the door.

"I will try not to worry, but I make no promises. Please just watch your back If anything happens to you..."

“Grayson, I promise you, you don’t have to worry about me. I wouldn’t make that promise if it wasn’t true.” He nodded.

“I’ll talk to you later tonight when you call Anna, if not before.”

“This should go without saying but if anything pops up, just call me. If I can’t get here right away, Nick is on standby.” He nodded and she headed out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gia was surprised to see Carmen's desk empty and Rafael's door was opened. Gia crossed her arms in front of her and leaned against the door way. Rafael had his feet propped up on his desk, reading the news paper. She took the opportunity to take him in for a few moments.

"Busy day?" He jumped slightly, dropping the paper. It gave Gia some satisfaction seeing as how he scared her all the time.

"What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you until later?" He smiled, happy to see her sooner than expected. That look on his face, any time he was surprised to see her made her happy she had a photographic memory. He took his feet down and stood up. He walked over to shut his office door and then kissed her lightly. She inhaled deeply, hoping the scent of his cologne would calm her.

"I talked Grayson into letting Sienna see Anna." He had expected Gia to be happier about it.

"That's good news right?" By the look on her face he wasn't so sure.

"Yes, no? I don't know." He led Gia over to the couch to sit down.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" He brushed her hair over her shoulder. She let out a heavy sigh.

"Am I selling my niece out to get a conviction?" She had to say it out loud. Grayson may not have meant what he said, but she couldn't unhear it.

"What? Of course not, Amor. Your niece misses her mother first and foremost. She’s having nightmares of Liv pulling her from her arms. Maybe seeing her and leaving in a more positive way will help.” Gia laughed. He gave her a look of confusion.

“I am running off on you with my ability to psychoanalyze because I literally just said almost the same exact thing to Grayson. Like word for word. You, Rafael Barba are an excellent student.” She saw a smirk cross his face.

“You want to take me to school Detective?” She licked her lips and she closed her eyes and laughed.

“Shelve that Counselor, because I’d love nothing more.” He was happy he was able to lighten the moment for her.

“Listen, Sienna may be a lot of things, but I can't see her doing anything right now to jeopardize being able to see her daughter. The fact that this is going to be happening this soon? Trust me, Rita is going to make sure she is grateful. Rita does not want Sienna going down for Isaac Moreno.” Gia looked thoughtful for a moment.

"She won’t? She was willing to kidnap her own daughter, Raf. What if she does something stupid? What if she causes more harm than good? What if it traumatizes Anna even more?"

"Cariña, look at me." She lifted her head slightly, and turned her head to look at him. "Come here." He put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. She turned towards him more, resting her head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead. "You won't know how it will affect Anna until she sees her mother. The one thing I do know is that you would never put that little girl at risk just for a case. The fact that you will be in that room means that this has the best chance of being successful." He ran his hand over her hair. He hated this for her.

"I think I'm just afraid that seeing Sienna is going to set Anna off. She's having such a hard time already. And Sienna? She's a wild card right now." She closed her eyes, focusing on the feeling of his hand in her hair.

"Well you won't be alone. I will speak with Rita, once Sienna gives us some information, only then will we set up the visit. Liv and I are going to question her today. You can listen in, if it makes you feel better. If you aren't happy with how it goes, or with how Sienna's state of mind is, we pull the plug on the visit okay?"

"Yeah, okay." He kissed her forehead one more time.

"Let me walk you back to the precinct."

"I don't need an escort." She sat up, rolling her eyes.

"I know that you don't need one. I want to walk you back, just a little more time with you. Carmen is off today. We can stop and get some good coffee." Gia laughed, Rafael was happy to hear a genuine laugh from her.

"Using me for a coffee fix?" He put his hand on the side of her face and kissed her one more time, It lingered a bit longer than the first one, causing her to hum against his lips, resting her hands on his chest. "I should come by more when Carmen isn't here" she rested her forehead against his.

"C'mon Amor, before we get ourselves into trouble." Before he could take her hand, there was a knock at his door. Gia went and took a seat at a chair from across his desk. She didn't know who was on the other side of the door and didn't want any side eye glances.

"Rafael, where is Carmen?" Gia recognized Jack McCoy's voice immediately and she sat up a little straighter.

"She’s off today." Rafael stepped aside so his boss could walk into his office.

"Ah, Detective Monroe, wonderful to see you. I heard you were in the building and I was hoping to catch you." Gia smiled.

"You almost missed me. I was just about to head out. He needs a good coffee fix." She nodded her head towards Rafael. He looked between the two.

"So, you're aiding and abetting his serious caffeine addiction. I was curious if you had convinced your brother to let his wife have a visit with their daughter? It was an excellent idea, I was impressed when he told me you suggested it. I'd really like to be able to move on this Isaac Moreno and get him off the streets, but I understand it is a delicate situation." Rafael walked over to his chair to sit down.

"I actually came here to let Rafael know I did get him to agree. I came here from his apartment. He does have some conditions." Jack nodded his head.

"Enlighten me." He took a seat next to Gia. If she was feeling anxious, Rafael admired that she was able to hide it.

"He wants to make sure that she actually provides information that is helpful and truthful. I also told him that I would take my niece and Rita Calhoun will be there as well. I did offer that his attorney could be there as well as a representative for him." Jack mused over what she said.

"That was a smart thing to offer, additional reassurance. You're willing to put yourself in the middle of this?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Truthfully Jack, I'd rather walk across a floor covered in Legos barefoot." Jack McCoy barked out a laugh. Rafael silently chuckled. He knew Jack liked her, before they had gotten together Jack had mentioned how smart she was. He had given him similar advice to what Amaro had said to him about not messing things up with Gia.

"Then tell me, Gia, why are you doing it?" The titles had officially dropped, it surprised Rafael how comfortable Gia was with Jack McCoy.

"I'm doing it for my niece. It will feel familiar if I take her. This has been very hard on her. Having someone she doesn't know take her will make it harder. I need to see for myself if the visits will help her or upset her. That little girl's well being is my top priority right now. This level of a trauma for a four year old can have long lasting damage." Jack nodded his head. He studied Gia for a moment.

"I must say, Gia Monroe, you live up to the hype. So tell me, when are you going to stop playing Detective and come work for me?" Her eyebrows knitted together.

"What...what do you mean?" Rafael set his elbows on the desk, leaning forward slightly. He had no idea where this was going. Jack had never mentioned getting Gia to work for the DA’s office.

"I want you to come work as an investigator for the District Attorney's office. Your talent isn't being used to its full potential. You could work on a large variety of investigations, not just SVU crimes. You would be a huge asset when it came to cases that need psychological evaluations. No more chasing criminals in public. You would be more focused on what you're best at." Gia had to admit, it was intriguing. She cleared her throat.

"The conflict of interest wouldn't worry you?" Jack gave her a questioning look, taking him a moment to figure out what she meant.

"Ah, you mean the two of you?" He pointed between the two of them. "Actually, I think the optics would be better, you wouldn't be working exclusively with Rafael." Gia crossed her legs, thinking for a moment. Rafael had no idea what she was thinking. He couldn't read the expression on her face. He only knew that she was really thinking about it.

"It's definitely something to consider. Though I'm not quite sure I'm ready to leave SVU just yet." Jack gave her a smile and stood up.

"Well, it's an open offer. You let me know when you're ready to take me up on it. I'll let the two of you get back to it." He paused at the door and turned back to them. "If you don't mind me saying, he's different because of you. Still just as dedicated, just as good, but it's nice to not see his light on late every night." He shut the door behind him on his way out.

"That was...unexpected." She relaxed slightly. Rafael gave her a soft smile.

"It's not. He likes you, he always has. He's probably been waiting for the chance to make that offer. It's a good offer, more money. He couldn't deny the idea of her being in the same building wasn't appealing.

"I just...I'm not done with SVU yet. I came here to heal something inside of me. I'm not there yet." He nodded, he had suspected it was something like that.

"I will support you in whatever you want to do Amor.” She reached out and took his hand.

"C'mon, let's go get that coffee and you can walk me back to the precinct."

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Gia was getting impatient with herself. She knew this multi-jurisdictional case was a test. They wanted to see if she could piece this together and play nicely with the other precincts involved. She also had connections in New England through her father. For the life of her, she could not figure out the pattern or the connection between the girls being taken other than the fact that they were young and blonde. They vanished without a trace of evidence. These girls families deserved answers. Gia desperately wanted to give them closure. Gia dropped her pen on her desk and closed her eyes as she rubbed her temples.

"That bad, Detective?" Gia could hear the grin in Trevor Langdon's voice.

"Well Counselor, it's not great. What are you doing here?" She has spun her chair around to face him.

"I wanted to listen in on what Sienna Monroe has to say, so I can prepare your brother and be informed to advocate for your niece. He asked me to be here." Gia nodded, it made her feel better knowing she would have an impartial opinion on Sienna.

"I can't thank you enough for doing this. My brother needed someone that would fight for the two of them. It's hard because I can't really be involved in the case, but I can't not be either." Gia looked past Trevor and saw Sienna walking in behind Liv and Rita. Gia stood up and watched as Olivia led the two women into an interrogation room. Rita nodded cordially to both Gia and Langdon. Sienna had a pleading look on her face as she stared at Gia. Gia turned her head away, clenching her jaw, which didn't go unnoticed by Langdon.

"Are you okay Gia?" He asked in a low voice, dropping all professionalism for the moment. She shook her head no.

"She tried to kidnap my niece. She told another man that Anna belonged to him. She was going to take that little girl away from the only family she has ever known because she's selfish. Then she has the nerve to walk in here expecting me to be on her side?" He put his hands on her shoulders.

"Listen to me, I am here for your niece and your brother to make sure their interests are protected. To make sure that she doesn't do anything that will harm that little girl. I understand your anger, but I promise you, she will not have the chance to even think about taking that little girl away again. I'm here to protect your interests too. One way or another this is going to trial and if you need someone advocating for you, I've got your back." Gia nodded, her lower lip clasped underneath her teeth.

Rafael walked into the precinct and his eyes immediately fell on Trevor Langdon with his hands on Gia's shoulders. He could tell something was off, but the idea of another man comforting her like that made his insides churn just a little bit. She had never really talked about him before, but they were clearly friendly. That feeling went away immediately when Gia realized he had walked in and her face lit up. She stepped away from Trevor Langdon to meet him half way. When she reached him, he put his hand on her elbow and studied her face.

"It's all going to be okay." He reassured her. "Amaro is on his way in so he can listen in with you."

"Okay. Liv is already in there with Rita and Sienna." That was why Gia looked so tense. "Trevor is here to represent my brother to make sure Sienna fills her end of the bargain." Rafael looked over at him.

"Not really necessary counselor." His tone was dry, annoyed even. Trevor smiled.

"It is, to Mr. Monroe." Rafael rolled his eyes. Gia's word should have been enough for Grayson. He bit back the comment he wanted to make about too many cooks.

"Let's get this done, so I can talk to Grayson about it. The sooner we get this figured out, the sooner he and Anna can find a way to move forward."

"OR...you can let his lawyer fill him in and you and I will go get a meal that doesn't come in a take out container and doesn't involve a screaming four year old. After all, that's why he's here isn't it?" Gia raised an eyebrow and strained to hold back a smile, her nostrils flaring. They had decided not to hide their relationship, but they also didn't intend on making it a topic of conversation either. That rule seemed to be fast and loose lately, especially now because he seemed jealous.

"Okay, Counselor, you win." She said with a little laugh. Langdon stood back, amused.

"If it gets to be too much, just walk away, okay?" He squeezed her elbow lightly, a look of seriousness on his face.

"Raf, I'll be fine..." he stopped her mid-protest.

"Promise me." He was serious and it made a flutter of anxiety explode in her stomach. "Don't let what she has to say hurt you." He urged.

"I promise." He studied her face for a moment deciding if she was placating him or serious. He must have believed her because as soon as he saw Nick walk into the precinct, he kissed her on the cheek and headed towards interrogation. She saw Langdon smirk out of the corner of her eye.

"Why is your face so red?" Nick asked with a furrowed brow.

"I think the ADA was uh, staking his claim." Langdon teased. Gia gave him a dirty look.

"Shut up." Nick looked between the two of them and shook his head.

"I don't even want to know. C'mon Gee." He led her to the two way glass so they could listen in. Rafael was again going over what the deal was when they approached the glass. When Sienna was ready, Liv turned on the camera.

"So, Sienna, why don't we start from the beginning. Where did you meet Isaac Moreno?" Sienna and Gia swallowed at the same time. Gia had always seen her as an ally. She was the one person that was always on her side when it came to her mother.

Gia didn't want to let the pain of that betrayal in. She had finally moved past the pain of Alison, or at least the searing pain. There was a dull ache within her that she didn't think would ever leave her. That's the thing about love, it lived on through grief. She felt Nick take her hand in his to offer silent support. She loved Rafael. Rafael had been her salvation. Nick, he was what kept her steady before Rafael came along. She knew she was the same for him. Maybe it was because they were both emotional and impulsive. She often saw her own anger simmering In Nick's eyes. That was how they knew exactly how to steady each other, unless of course, they were mad at each other.

"It was five years ago. Grayson and I were having a hard time. We had been trying to get pregnant. He was adamant about giving his mother a grandchild, more specifically, a grandson. That was what she wanted more than anything. Another little Grayson running around. Everything was tense and cold between us. Everything felt clinical. I felt like a broken incubator. I was failing at my singular purpose." Gia felt stunned. She has known that trying to get pregnant had been rough on the two of them. The stress of it would affect any marriage. She had a hard time imagining Grayson being so cold; but at the same time, Gia knew she saw him through rose colored glasses.

She wished Sienna would have confided in her. Gia knew her brother, how singular focused he could be. She could have been her ally and gotten him to realize he was being an asshole. He wasn't perfect, but he was a good man. He had loved Sienna, so much so that he ignored their mother's protests of their relationship. Maybe if Gia had paid better attention at the time, she would have caught that there was a deeper issue. Maybe she could have prevented all of this. She immediately halted that train of thought like her therapist had taught her. It wasn't her job to take care of everyone. She wasn't responsible for their actions. It in was a hard habit to break.

"I was out to lunch, alone and upset after another doctor's appointment with bad news. I felt as empty and hollow as my womb. I was devastated. It was supposed to be a celebratory lunch. When there was nothing to celebrate, Grayson left me and went back to work." Gia felt a wave of angst. As angry as she was at Sienna, that made her feel something deep inside for her. Gia had felt an emptiness within her for a very long time. It wasn't until she started at SVU and she let Nick in and then Olivia and then, Rafael. He filled that void within her. Not because she was lacking without him, but he helped her open up her once closed off heart.

"Isaac saw me and said a woman so beautiful shouldn't be so sad or eating alone, so I let him join me. It felt so nice to be seen as a woman and not a failure. Then, it turned into a regular weekly lunch and little by little we grew closer. Before I knew it, I was living two separate lives. One where I was going through the motions robotically and another where I felt so free." Gia hated that she empathized with Sienna so much in that moment. She knew the exact feeling of freedom she was describing.

"All of the sudden, I was pregnant. That's why I was so convinced she was Isaac's. I thought maybe Grayson just couldn't have children. Then the disappointment from his mother that it was a girl and not a boy, it was like she blamed me. I wanted to leave Grayson to be with Isaac. I wanted to feel like I was worth something more. Isaac wanted the same thing, but his daughter was only a baby. He wouldn't walk away from her, which I certainly understood. He needed to find a way to get custody of his daughter. He didn't want her raised without him." Rafael scoffed. Gia knew he couldn't help it. He had likely been bursting at the seems.

"It didn't make you wonder that he wasn't willing to leave his first daughter with her mother, but was okay with another man raising the daughter he thought the two of you had together?" Sienna paled.

"Counselor, was that really necessary?" Rita chastised Rafael.

"I'm trying to open her eyes up to the man that she thinks is so wonderful. Who is willing to pin his wife's death on her." Gia could hear the frustration in his voice and she understood it.

"His wife was unstable! He was collecting evidence so he could make sure his daughter was safe. We lived a double life. Grayson worked so much, it was easy. By then, things with Grayson had improved and he had fallen in love with Anna. I found myself in love with two men." Sienna wiped a few tears from her face and Gia felt a simmering of rage building in her again. She actually believed that Isaac's wife was so unstable but it took him five years to be able to prove it? It was then that Gia realized Sienna had no idea who Isaac Moreno really was.

"Nick, go tell Liv to show her the footage of Isaac beating Sara. She has no idea. She thinks he's this fairytale prince." He nodded and walked into the interrogation room and whispered in Liv's ear. She nodded and whispered something back and Nick walked out.

"She will, just not yet. She doesn't want her to shut down." Gia nodded her head. She knew Liv knew what she was doing. Not being in that room was driving Gia crazy. She wanted to be the one asking the questions and demanding answers.

"So, the two of you were living a double life. What changed? What made you decide you had to leave with the girls?" Rafael pushed. Sienna sniffed.

"Isaac found out that Sara was going to take their daughter away. He told me that I had to make a choice. I thought he was the only choice. I was convinced he was Anna's father. We decided that a clean break would be best. We were going to start over. I was going to leave Grayson divorce papers and a letter that Anna wasn't his, explaining everything." Gia clenched her fist. She really thought that a letter was enough? That she could just rip that child away from all of them? Did she honestly think Gia wouldn't hunt her to the ends of the earth? She has just said that she was in love with both men. Leaving like that would gave destroyed Grayson, and you don't destroy someone you love. Gia tried to pathetically send that question to Rafael through sheer will.

"So when did the conversation change that Sara needed to die? And why did she need to die but not Grayson? Liv interjected, bluntly. Sienna's eyes went wide. Gia didn't think it was possible for her to get any paler than she already was.

"That conversation never happened. Isaac would never hurt Sara like that. It was, it was a coincidence. But I would have never agreed to that! That poor woman was brutalized. Isaac could never. He loved Sara, but she was a liability to their daughter and like me, he felt alone. Gia closed her eyes, Sienna's naivety was the real liability. It showed what a master manipulator Isaac Moreno was. Sienna was smart, Gia never would have expected her to be snowed like that.

"Sienna, I'm going to show you something that is going to be incredibly upsetting." Gia reopened her eyes and watched the horror overtake Sienna's face. Her eyes widened, she covered her mouth in horror. Every time a blow came down on Sara Moreno, Sienna flinched. She was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. Gia knew that feeling too. The feeling of being so incredibly wrong about someone. She had felt that when she realized what Gabriel really was and how he mentally tortured her for years. Gia stepped back so she could lean against the wall to hold herself up.

Gia went rigid and she felt her entire body go ice cold, yet she felt like there was lava pumping through her veins. She was back in that snippet of a memory. She was cowering in a corner, knees to her chest, he hands covering her ears trying to block him out. Gabriel's face filled with rage, this time, she heard him screaming at her for being pathetic and useless. Something about how she never should have been chosen. She could almost feel his hot breath on her face. She could feel her chest tightening in fear.

"GIA!" She startled and her eyes shot open. She hadn't realized she had slid to the floor. Nick and Trevor were both squatting infront of her, concerned laced in their features. "What the hell just happened?" Nick helped pull her up.

"This is, it's just too much Nick. I can't listen to this anymore. I need some air, and some time alone to clear my head. Can you stay here for me?" He looked at her like she had seven heads.

"I'm not letting you leave on your own after that. You completely zoned out." She put her hand on his forearm.

"Nick, I'm overwhelmed, this is all too much. That, her...it's too much. I need you here because I trust you to tell me what else happens. Rafael? He will try to downplay it so I don't get worked up. You won't. I promise I'm okay. Tell Rafael to meet me at our spot in the park when this is done." Nick's concern melted a little and a smug smile pulled at his lips.

"You...you guys have a spot in the park?" She hit him in the shoulder.

"Shut up." He took her chin in his hand and studied her face. She willed him to see the wall of calm she was trying to front. In reality, she was freaking out, but she needed to do it alone. She felt like her brain was buzzing.

"Okay. Just..." she cut him off.

"I know, I know. Be careful." Gia hugged him, thanked Trevor and quickly rushed to her desk to grab her bag before anyone else saw her. On her way out the door, she reached into her bag and grabbed the bottle of anti-anxiety medication. There was no way she was staving this one off on her own.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Xanax was not enough. Gia didn't dare take a second one. Instead, she found herself doing something she hadn't done since the stress of getting her PhD, she was chain smoking a pack of menthol cigarettes. The prospect of lung cancer was worth the calming effects of the nicotine at that moment. The imagine of her brother screaming at her was playing on repeat in her mind.

The video of Isaac Moreno screaming must have triggered the flashback. Beyond that snippet, she could not recall the full memory. She didn't think it was possible for someone with a photographic memory to block things out. She had learned to push them out, but this was different. She was having a hard time imagining anything else in her childhood being so traumatic that her subconscious was protecting her from it. She had been through a metric ton of trauma. She couldn't imagine there was something so bad lingering that she couldn't handle. Was that the only memory she was blocking out. Were there worse horrors in her past that no one talked about? She felt like she was loosing her mind.

When she left the precinct she had walked and walked and walked, waiting for the Xanax to calm her nerves. When it barely scratched the surface she walked into a bodega and bought the cigarettes a lighter and a pack of gum. She fully intended to be done by the time Rafael was ready to meet her. She had confirmed to Nick that she was fine and that they could talk later about the rest of Sienna's interview.

She found the bench where she sat waiting for Rafael that first time they went for breakfast. They had unconsciously found themselves there many times. Gia loved going for walks in the park and this place had become their little habit. She closed her eyes and took a long drag of her cigarette.

"Are you smoking?!" Rafael's voice startled her out of her own thoughts.

"Shit." Her body slumped.

"I've been texting you for over a half an hour. I thought something happened to you." She yelped in protest as he took the cigarette from her hand, walked it over to the tall metal ashtray in the park and threw it out.

"Hey! I wasn't done with that." Sometimes, the urge to throttle her almost outweighed how much he loved her.

"Seriously? What the hell is going on? And please don't try to lie to me like you lied to Nick. The fact that he even believed you blows my mind. Why didn't you answer my messages?" She rolled her eyes.

"My phone is literally in my bag. I didn't hear it go off. It's not like I went missing for hours. I'm literally where I said I would be." She watched as he closed his eyes and inhaled through his nose in exasperation.

"Gia, with everything that's been going on, I worried." It was her turn to feel exasperated.

"You have got to stop treating me like I'm a child. I have lived in this city since I was 16 years old. I am more than capable of taking care of myself." She crossed her arms, irritated. The only time she had been attacked in the city was in her own apartment.

"I'm sorry, but you ran out after having a PTSD episode. I'm going to worry." Her eyebrows knitted together.

"I didn't-" he sat down next to her and turned to face her.

"Do you really think I don't know when you're experiencing PTSD? I've watched as you close your eyes and everything around you fades away. The way your hand almost always finds its way to your neck and the way it trembles. The way your ears block out the sound of my voice. The way you look haunted when your eyes finally snap back open and you're back with me. When Nick described what happened, I knew. Amor, I know you." Gia blinked rapidly as she looked away, uncrossing her arms and letting them drop to her sides.

There was something about letting him in so deeply that was almost unsettling. There were no secrets between them, even when she desperately wanted to grasp on to one. Her self-preservation tactics were useless against him. She had never been so vulnerable before. Then she felt his thumb tracing the tattoo on her wrist. She had stopped covering it at work, mostly because she knew he loved it. She closed her eyes for a moment letting the feeling ground her, reminding her that she was safe with him. That her instinct to retreat was never necessary with him. She opened her eyes, but she didn't look back at him yet. She stared off into the distance.

"It was the uh, the video of Isaac beating Sara. More his yelling. It brought me back to that snippet of a memory of Gabe. Where I'm cowering in the corner and he's screaming at me. I had to get out of there. I felt an anxiety attack coming on." He gently turned her face to make her look at him.

"I hate that he still has a hold on you." She found comfort in the concern glowing from his green eyes.

"Me too." She said in a small voice. "I am sorry I am so hard to love." Her voice cracked slightly.

"What?" His voice was equally soft. "Listen to me, loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done in my life. You are more than the trauma you've been forced to carry. You are...everything to me. It kills me that I can't ease this for you. I love you and everything you bring with you. You do keep me on my toes." She laughed lightly and smiled.

"I love you too, Raf. It's just hard not to fall back into old habits of keeping people at arms length." He leaned in and kissed her temple. They sat silently for a few moments until he saw a smirk pulling at her mouth.

"What's that look?" He finally asked.

"You were jealous today." He narrowed his eyes at her.

"You never told me you were such good friends with Trevor Langdon." She was biting back a full grin.

"Well, you never asked." She shrugged, probably enjoying this moment a little too much. His face was mutinous. "We became friends before you and I started. We're not close, just friendly. He's a good guy."

"And why did he owe you a favor?"

"Well, again, before you and I were you and I, he had this really important firm dinner. He had just broken up with a woman that he worked with and he didn't want to go alone. She was kind of a bitch, so I was more than happy to help him out with the caveat that he owed me a favor. It was oddly satisfying making her jealous. Maybe because he’s so nice and she’s a frigid bitch." His head ticked to the side.

"So you went on a date with him." Gia audibly laughed.

"That is all that you heard? It was not a real date. I have never had even an inkling of a feeling for him. He's just a decent guy." Rafael nodded. He didn't realize just how jealous he felt until she mentioned going out with him. Not that he had any right to question her on anyone she actually dated before they were together, but seeing his hands on her shoulders like that bugged him.

"Just wondering..." he finally said.

"I must say counselor, I didn't expect green to be such a nice shade on you." He watched as she licked the center of her lips slightly.

"I envy any man that has ever held your attention." He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. Just the way he was looking at her made her mouth go dry and the air go out of her lungs.

"I really want to kiss you right now but I probably taste like an ashtray." He leaned in.

"I don't care." Then, he was kissing her and she felt her mind clear, all she could think about was him.

"Let's go home. I'll take you out tomorrow instead." All she could do was nod her head and follow him.

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Rafael shut the bedroom door leaving a sleeping Gia in peace. She had insisted on showering when they got home. He could tell she felt ashamed that he caught her smoking. He just saw her flaws as endearing, though he was worried about the level of stress she was under and her level of anxiety. He knew she had actually been using her anti-anxiety medication when she was off duty. He didn't say anything, but he knew it was bad if she was willingly taking it on regular basis.

He had ran out to grab some sandwiches for dinner, she had said she wasn't hungry. When he had gotten back, the shower was empty. He had found her asleep on their bed, wrapped in her towel. He had woken her up enough to get a t-shirt on her. He had sat on the edge of the bed watching her sleep until his phone had gone off. Liv and Amaro were on their way over. He had kissed her cheek and smoothed her hair over before leaving the room.

He took the familiar spot looking out the window Gia did when she was thinking. He took a sip of his scotch and headed towards the door when he heard the light knock, setting his drink on the coffee table.

"Hey counselor." Nick greeted when Rafael opened the door. He stepped aside, letting the two of them into the apartment.

"Where's Gia?" Nick asked, looking around.

"She's sleeping." Nick whipped around.

"Sleeping, it's like 8pm?" Rafael walked over and sat down on the couch.

"She wasn't exactly okay when she left earlier." Liv sat down next to him.

"Rafa, what do you mean?" He didn't want to betray Gia's confidence, if she hadn't told either of them about the flashes, the PTSD, he wouldn't give him the full story.

"The whole thing with Sienna, it was, it hit her harder than she anticipated." Nick was standing with his hands on his hips.

"No, it was more than that. I knew it, I knew she wasn't okay and I let her walk out the door. There is something more going on with her." Rafael shook his head."

"She's an adult Amaro, she kindly reminded me of that earlier. What were you going to do? Put her in holding? Handcuffed yourself to her? I just know her tells. She needed space with her own thoughts. You should know her well enough to know that once her mind is made up, you aren't changing it. Ever since the attack she has felt like we no longer see her as an equal, which isn't true. It's just the innate urge to protect her. We can't suffocate her, and I think that is how she feels. " Rafael sighed heavily. He felt like he didn't know what the right thing to do for her was.

"Don't you question how well I know her. She and I have been close since before the start of your relationship. Back when you were a royal asshole to her. You sharing a bed with her doesn't mean you know her more than I do. She and I, we are best friends, we have a bond." Rafael rolled his eyes. He knew the two of them were close, but he was really trying to compare what he and Gia had to their friendship. It was almost laughable.

“I’m not questioning how well you know her. That’s not even close to what I said.” He wasn’t in the mood to go head to head with Amaro.

"Amaro, what is your problem?" Olivia seemed shocked at the outburst. She was hoping to defuse the situation.

"I was apart of her life before him and I'll be apart of her life after him too." Rafael stood up, he had reached his limit. For Amaro to suggest that he was merely temporary was unacceptable.

"Enough!" Gia's voice rang out from the doorway into the living room. "Thanks, by the way, for waking me up with your loud ass mouth." Gia had thrown a pair of shorts on and a oversized hoodie over the t-shirt Rafael had coaxed her into.

"Nick, I don't know what this territorial BS is, but how dare you come into OUR home and speak to him like that, number one. Number two, there is no after him. You are my best friend, but you are way out of line. He knows parts of me that you won't ever know. Just like I'm sure there are parts of you that Maria knows that I will never know. We are intimate, and not just in the sexual relationship way. I can't talk to you about everything, especially when you act like this. I'm not a child. I don't need your permission to leave the precinct or anywhere else on my own. I appreciate your concern, more than you know. But this it too much. You both act like there is a danger around every corner in this city that is just targeting me. When I ended up in the hospital, I KNEW what I was walking into. It was my choice. Please stop acting like I'm this helpless damsel that needs to be constantly saved. Let me remind you that in that instant, I saved myself. Let me also remind you of what I I reminded Rafael of. I have lived in this city since I was 16 years old. I’m pretty good at taking care of myself. Yes, I have PTSD, I've had a life times worth of trauma. I have triggers and I am managing them. Everyone wants to give me 'what I need'? What I need is space to feel whatever it is I'm feeling and deal with it how I see fit. I don't need a room full of saviors." It wasn't often that Nick was speechless. He knew he had crossed a line.

"You...you're right, I'm sorry." He conceded. "I guess I..." Gia held her hand up.

"Honestly, I'm done listening to how what I've been through or how I feel is affecting others." Nick flinched a little. Olivia remained silent. She had warned Nick that he needed to back off a bit, but he was stubborn.

The three remained silent as Gia disappeared into the kitchen and then came out with a glass of wine. She sat down in the chair across from Nick and crossed her legs.

"So why are you guys here?" Rafael kept his eyes on her. He could tell she was agitated and it wasn't just because of what Amaro said. She was emotionally exhausted and tired of being treated like she was made of glass. That was partly his fault. He knew Liv could see she was out of sorts, but she wouldn't say anything. She would let Gia come to her if she needed to talk. Both he and Nick had to get better at that. Rafael found the urge to want to protect her from everything; she had been through enough already.

"After you left, Sienna started naming names. We think we have the man who was paid to attack Sara Moreno. We have some digging to do, but we'll get him and Moreno." Olivia spoke, thinking it was best to keep Nick silent for the time being.

"Okay, so that couldn't have been a text or a phone call?" Rafael didn't understand what the big deal was.

"We wanted to tell Gia in person, Sienna has been approved to have supervised visits. Grayson requested that your mother bring her." Gia's eyes went wide with incredulity.

"Sienna and Rita fought it, but Langdon said that the visit was being allowed by Grayson's terms." Gia's forehead was in her hands.

"Why? Why the hell would he do that?" Gia had thought they had turned the corner when he finally acknowledged how their mother treated her.

"Langdon said that Grayson didn't want to make you do it. That it wasn't fair to you. He knows you and Sienna were close. He thought it would be hard for you." Gia scoffed.

"That's a lie. He's doing it to punish Sienna. My mother hates her and Sienna has never been able to stand up to her. I'm the best choice to make it more comfortable for Anna."

"He's hurting Gia. He loved her more than anything and she betrayed him." Nick finally spoke. Gia was silent for a moment.

"It doesn't matter how he feels when it comes to this. It's about what is best for his daughter. Neither he or my mother are thinking of her first. Don't defend him." Nick also stood up, getting irritated.

"I'm not saying it's right. It's what you always say, 'Causation isn't an excuse'. He can't see past his own pain right now." Nick argued. Gia rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Thanks for the insight." She picked up her drink and downed the rest of it. "I can't deal with this anymore tonight. I'm at my limit." She turned and stalked towards her bedroom, the door slamming slightly.

Rafael took a deep breath. He had hoped once Sienna talked that the stress on Gia would let up, but that had been woefully ignorant. He knew both Gia and Nick were right. They were both stubborn and emotional. How they ended up best friends Rafael didn't know.

"Rafa, we're going to go. Just tell her...tell her I'm here if she wants to talk." Olivia stood as she was speaking.

"I will. She'll appreciate it when this isn't so...fresh." Olivia nodded. Nick didn't say anything else as he left with Olivia.

Rafael locked the door behind them and follwed Gia's lead by downing his drink and then headed towards their room. He slowly opened the door and their room was only lit up by the lamp near Gia's chair. He knew this was more relaxing for her, she hated bright lights.

She was sitting in her chair, her legs hanging over the arm of it, looking through a photo album. She was on a page that was clearly a school picture of her. Her blonde curls wild, her hair was almost white it was so blonde when she was younger, it had grown darker as she got older. Her blue eyes shining and a beaming smile. This was Gia before her life fell apart.

Gia closed the book and stood up to put it back on the shelf. She gestures for Rafael to sit down in the chair. Once he sat down she sat in his lap. Gia had the window open, even though it made the room chilly, it allowed them to listen to the rain that had started pouring down outside.

Rafael twirled a curl around his finger. Their silence wasn't uncomfortable. He knew her brain was in overdrive and she was overstimulated. He just wanted to be her safe haven. A place where she could just be without any expectations.

"We could run away." She finally spoke. There was a tiny hint of a joke, but he could sense the seriousness in it.

"Oh yeah? How and where to?" She curled into him, drawing her legs closer and resting her head on his shoulder. He circled his arm around her back, hand resting on her hip.

"I have money, a lot of money. My grandmother left me a pretty substantial amount and it's just been growing and invested. We couldn't live like millionaires, but we could live decently. Some place warm with white sand, the ocean..." Rafael hummed in agreement.

"I think I could live every day with you in a bikini. I could run around in a Speedo." He teased. She let out a genuine laugh that was music to his ears.

"I'm serious though. When it gets to be too much, we can just go. Leave all of this behind." She was running her fingers through the back of his hair.

"You'd walk away from your family, Olivia...Nick?" She thoughtfully silent for a moment.

"That's what phones are for, but all I need is you." He smiled, resting his cheek on her forehead.

"Let's take a trip, a vacation." He suggested. Maybe getting away would be a good break for her.

"Now isn't exactly a good time." She sighed in defeat. As much as she wanted to run, she knew she couldn't.

"Let's go during Christmas. We both have plenty of time to take."

"I thought you wanted to go skiing?" He could hear the disdain in her voice. She had told him she didn't want to go, but that he should. She didn't want him changing his hobbies for her.

"I think I'd be willing to forgo that this year to be on a beach with you." Gia hummed in agreement. "Gigi, I'd do anything for you." She picked her head up and turned his head so she could kiss him.

"I love you." She said with her lips still against his.

"Me too." Then he kissed her again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No, no, NO!" Anna cried. "Aunt Gigi is supposed to take me. I don't want to go with Grandma." She was inconsolable. Gia was exhausted, she had spent most of the night wide awake. Rafael had been awake with her for most of the time. Trying anything to get her to fall asleep. Her patience were wearing thin. She knew her niece was in a mess, but Gia did not get enough sleep to be able to handle this. She didn't know how Grayson was dealing with Anna's big emotions day in and day out.

"Annie listen to me, please." Gia pleaded. "I promise you, it's okay to go with Grandma. It will be fine and you'll get to see your Mommy. That's what matters, right? That's what's important?Anna remained ever obstinate. Gia saw her own stubbornness staring back at her.

"She's mean to Mommy, she hates her. She makes Mommy cry when Daddy isn't there." Gia turned and looked at her brother and then shot her mother a glare. Gia had no problem believing it, she knew how her mother could be. He was exasperated and her mother was angry. Gia knew the only reason she wasn't yelling at Anna was because she knew it would cause a fight and she was less willing to go head to head with her daughter than she used to be since this visit.

"Here's a solution." Trevor Langdon finally spoke up. "I know everyone is concerned, so why don't Gia, your mother and myself go with Anna. We can see how it goes. Once things get settled, and everyone is comfortable, Rita and I can work out a solution to the supervised visits. What we don't want, is for Anna to be in distress when she goes and sees her mother. Regardless of the reason, any chance Sienna has to make Grayson look bad, she will use it." They all looked to Grayson and he gave a slight nod of his head, that was all Gia needed.

"Go get your shoes on monkey, Mr. Langdon and I are coming too." Anna's face brightened and she hugged Gia. Gia kissed her niece on the head before she ran off.

"Gigi, I didn't want you to have to do this. You've been through so much. I really was just trying to make things easier for you. I know you and Sienna were close and she is just another person in a long line of people that have let you down." Grayson's voice was filled with regret. Gia waved him off.

"I appreciate that Gray, I really do. It's not about me though, it's about Anna and what she needs. Sienna and our mother have never gotten along, I don't want Sienna to be on the defensive because I want that child to enjoy the time she has with her. It's only two hours. I can set my feelings for Sienna aside for her. You know I'd do anything for both of you." As annoyed as she had been the night before, but she didn't want to kick him when he was down. He may not have even consciously been trying to punish Sienna with their mother. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Being supportive was the best thing she could offer.

"Well I am still going." Her mother snapped. Gia held back a sharp comment for Grayson's sake. "I want to make sure Sienna doesn't pull anything." Gia clenched her jaw and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Do you really think I would let anything like that happen to Anna?" Gia's voice was low, trying to simmer the urge to punch her mother in the face.

"Well apparently you had five years to catch on." Gia laughed sardonically. Of course she was going to throw this at Gia's feet. It wasn’t her relationship but she was supposed to have known Sienna was living a double life and not her actual husband.

"Please don't start." Grayson jumped in. Gia said nothing further, she wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. She walked into the kitchen to give herself a little bit of space. Trevor walked over and put a hand on her shoulder.

"I didn't realize there would be an issue with your mother going or I would have shut it down." Gia shook her head.

"You had no way of knowing. We will just make the best of it I guess. I'm usually the only one willing to put my mother in her place. I just want Anna to be happy. That's all that matters."

Once Anna was ready, Trevor drove them to what was now just Sienna's apartment. She stared out the car window, trying to quell her anxiety by thinking of anything but where she was currently headed. She focused on the evening prior, after Liv and Nick left. Kissing Rafael, the feeling of his hands ghosting across her body, their tight grip on her hips. Just the thought of being with him was enough to tap into his ability to short circuit any anxious thoughts for the time being.

Gia was worried that going bringing Anna back to that apartment was a bad idea. She thought that meeting at a park or restaurant may have been a better option. Now with her mother in tow, it definitely would have. In public, her mother would behave herself.

Normally Anna's squeal of delight would make her so happy, but in this instance, as they pulled up to the apartment building, it worried her. Anna held onto Gia's hand the entire way inside. The imminent reunion made Gia feel like something was crawling inside of her veins. Anna happily hit the button to the top floor of the building Gia felt like they were ascending to doom. Once they reached the top floor, Anna bolted.

"Anna Grace Monroe you stop running this instant!" Gia's mother bellowed. Gia gave her mother a cutting look. Anna had frozen in place, her excitement dampered. Gia rushed to catch up with her niece and took her hand.

"Stay with me, okay?" Anna nodded. This was what Gia didn't want happening, this little girls excitement ruined for even one moment because of her mother. When they reached the door, Gia knocked before Anna could just open the door. Gia could see the apprehension on Sienna's face faded slightly when she saw Gia there but then she saw something else replace it. Something was off. The air around her felt charged.

"Mommy!!" Anna ripped her hand from Gia's and jumped into her arms. Sienna walked into the apartment leaving the door open for the three of them to come in. Trevor shut the door behind them. Sienna brought Anna into the living room so they could play.

Gia wanted to cry watching Anna hug her mother and kiss her multiple times all over her face. Gia's mother went and sat in a chair in the living room, arms crossed in front of her. Rita came out from down the hallway, hovering in that area. She was keeping an eye on Gia's mother. Gia felt some satisfaction in that. If anyone could make Giulia Monroe uncomfortable. It was Rita Calhoun. She and Trevor stood in the kitchen awkwardly.

They had stood leaning on the counter making quiet small talk for about an hour when she couldn't take intruding on the moment between mother and daughter any longer; maybe it was because it hurt so damn much that she had never and would never have that with her own mother. She told Trevor that she needed some time alone and would be in her room that was off of the kitchen. She felt bad leaving him alone, but she just couldn't do it any longer.

She threw her purse on the bed and went and sat on her window seat. She had spent so much time in that very same spot after Alison died. She had another hour to go.

She spent another 30 minutes staring out the window, trying to think if there was ever a time that her mother hadn't hated her. A single moment where she was loving or caring. She had seen her be that way with Grayson, but never her and definitely not Gabriel. She felt her phone vibrate in her hand. It was Nick.

"Hey." His voice echoed through as she answered.

"Hey back." She said softly.

"Listen, about yesterday..."

"Forget it. I was in a horrible mood and you were being a dick. It was meant to be disastrous." He laughed.

"You're not wrong. We tend to do that sometimes." She smiled.

"I know, it's because we're so much alike. It's never a permanent fight." She was happy that he had called her. She didn't want to take the chance that he would still be mad and they would fight. She didn't want to call Rafael because he would worry and he worried enough about her. Sometimes she felt like fate aligned for her because Nick was really the one she needed to talk to.

"Barba said that Grayson agreed for you and Langdon to go with your mom."

"Yeah, Anna had a melt down. It would have probably been a disaster if we didn't. Though in all honesty, I should have just brought her on my own. Rita would have been here. Four of us is really unnecessary." Gia sighed.

"How is it?" His voice was tentative, the little sigh she had let out was incredibly telling.

"I'm hiding in what was my bedroom here. It feels wrong to watch them. My mom didn't get that memo though." Nick laughed.

"What is she doing?" Gia didn't respond right away, but he could picture the eye roll in his head.

"Lurking like a fucking vulture, though Rita is giving her the stare down, which is slightly enjoyable. I just wanted Anna to enjoy her time today. I can set aside my anger at Sienna. My mother has never been able to. I'm starting to think that my mother just doesn't know how to relate to girls. It's why she wanted a grandson so badly." It hasn't occurred to Gia until she saw how she was with Anna that it hit her.

"You could really be on to something. How much do you know about her childhood?" Gia scoffed.

"Basically nothing. She isn't exactly the sharing type. It's something to look into though. I need to know why." Gia sniffed. She suddenly felt the urge to to cry.

"What is it that you need to know Gee?" Nick could hear the sadness in her voice.

"Why she hates me so much. She-" Gia froze when she heard Anna screaming.

"What's going on?" Nick asked. Anna was screaming so loudly that Nick could hear it.

"I...I don't know..." Gia heard Trevor scream her name and she jumped up. "Something is wrong. I have to-" Nick interrupted her.

"Don't hang up. Put me on speaker and put the phone in your pocket." Gia did as he asked. Nick had felt a pit in his stomach all day over this visit. He wished he had pushed to have an officer go along. He knew Gia didn't bring her gun.

"Okay Nick, I'm walking out there." Her voice had a tremble to it. When she stepped into the kitchen, she froze.

Sienna had a sobbing Anna on her hip and she was pointing a gun at Gia's mother. Her mother was holding her hands up.

"You're not taking her from me." Sienna had a dangerous tone to her voice.

"Don't be ridiculous. You knew you had limited time with her. They are never going to let you keep her, especially not now, not after this. You're clearly insane." Giulia spat at Sienna.

"Oh my God, Mom shut the fuck up. What is wrong with you?! Sienna! Put the gun down!" She yelled, to make sure Nick heard her say the word "gun". Gia knew he would get a team there. Gia visualized pushing her fear and anxiety down. She had to keep it together. Her mother was throwing gasoline onto the fire.

"Gia, you need to leave. This doesn't concern you. Take Rita and go." Gia realized then that Sienna blamed Trevor for her loosing her daughter too.

"How about before anyone leaves, you put Anna down. Let me hold her. I promise you that I won't leave with her. She's scared and I don't want her to get hurt. Please Sienna, you know you can trust me. I would never do anything to put that little girl in danger." Sienna slowly set Anna down and she raced to Gia and jumped into her arms.

"Okay, okay. Why don't we let both Rita and Trevor go. Then it will be just family. Just us and we can work this out." Gia clocked Rita standing in front of the hallway slightly behind Sienna to her left. Trevor had walked over to Gia and put his hand on her shoulder. Sienna scoffed.

"Your mother is not family." When she turned her head to look at Gia, her mother lunged at Sienna. Gia tried to move towards them, out of reflex, but Trevor gripped her shoulder. Gia flinched and turned into him, holding Anna's head to her shoulder when she heard the gun go off. Anna was inconsolably screaming.

"Mom!" Gia cried out, Rita rushed over to Giulia, grabbed a throw blanket off of the couch to put pressure on the wound once she rolled her to her back. The bullet went into her stomach. Giulia turned her head to look at her daughter.

"Gia, don't let her take that child. You have to protect her and Grayson." Her mother's voice was strained. Gia closed her eyes and a few tears fell. "Don't you cry, I built you to be stronger than that." Gia's eyes shot open and she stared at her mother. "You are made of steel. You are not weak." Gia's eyebrows knitted together. She saw something in her mother's eyes she had never seen before, but she couldn't identify it.

"Jesus, shut up Giulia. Emotionally abusing your child so they are "strong" is not something to brag about. Just let her die Gia. Do you know how much better your life would be if your mother were dead? How much better my life would have been with your brother if she was dead? It's her fault, she ruined everything." She was crying and almost laughing at the same time. Anna was clinging to Gia, not recognizing her own mother.

"Sienna?! What are you doing?" She had the gun pointed at Gia now. Gia didn't know what to do to protect Anna. She felt Trevor shift more towards her side.

"It was just supposed to be your mom here. This wasn't supposed to involve you! I never wanted to involve you. She was supposed to die and Anna and I would have been able to get the hell out of here to meet Isaac and Giselle." When Gia looked up at her face, she could see the instability in her eyes. She prayed Nick heard the comment about Giselle and they were checking on her. Gia had to push that down too. She had to focus on her current situation.

"Sienna, listen to me. Anna is terrified. You let Trevor and Rita take my mom out of here and you and I will talk. It'll just be you and me." Sienna laughed.

"I don't think so." Gia looked over to Rita who was still putting pressure on her mother's wound.

"Just let me get Anna settled in her room. Sienna, she doesn't need to see this, okay? Please, she's terrified." Sienna looked at her daughter and then back to Gia.

"Give me your phone then Gia. No making calls while you're in her room. Gia willed Nick to hang up the phone so Sienna wouldn't see the active call.

"Okay Sienna, I'm getting you my phone." When she pulled it out of her pocket, she felt relief when she saw that he did indeed hang up. She knew it had to kill him to do so. Sienna nodded to the chair behind her and Gia tossed her phone there.

"Go, take her to her room, but don't take too long. Don't do anything stupid." Sienna's tone was harsher than Gia had ever heard her use.

"C'mon Monkey." Gia carried Anna to her room and set her down on her bed. She turned away from her for a moment to collect herself. She gave herself about 30 seconds to internally freak out and then get it back together.

"Mommy hurt Grandma." Anna sobbed.

"I know baby. Anna, I need you to take a few deep breaths okay?" Anna nodded. "Good girl, good girl." Gia went and peaked out the window. She saw a few squad cars. She could imagine that someone would be calling soon.

"Anna, what happened when I went into my room?" Gia couldn't figure out how things had shifted so quickly.

"Grandma tried to take me from Mommy and I got upset and then Mommy got mad." Anna had lost the shrillness in her voice.

"Where did Mommy get the gun from?" Gia knew that she and Grayson didn't own any guns, so where she really got it from and not just where it was located at the time was what really interested her.

"It was in the couch cushions." Gia couldn't believe how careless Sienna had been. That gun could have gone off. It could have killed Anna.

"Hurry up Gia!" Sienna yelled from the living room. She frantically looked around the room and found Anna's iPad and her headphones.

"Okay, I want you to pick a movie and you watch it with these on. You do not leave this room, no matter what you hear, unless someone comes in and gets you okay?" Anna nodded her head. Gia kissed her in the head and headed out of the room.

Gia wanted to use her iPad to send a message but she knew that Sienna's phone was linked to it and she would get the response. She shut the door behind her and made her way to the living room.

"Sienna, I need you to listen to me. They are going to call soon, someone heard the gun shot and there are police outside. They are going to want to know what you want. So you're going to tell them and then as a sign of good faith, you're going to send Trevor out of here with my mom." Sienna scoffed.

"No she's not leaving here. Why do you want to save her? Why do you care what happens to her?!" Gia was willing her hands not to shake.

"Sienna, I care about YOU. I don't want them to kill YOU. Listen to me, I am all that you need. I'm an NYPD Detective, I'm dating an ADA, they will negotiate. Rafael would burn this city to the ground if they didn't. I'm begging you. I don't want to see you in prison for life because of her. Please, you will never see your daughter." She tried to reason with her.

"She's right." Rita said, she was still putting pressure on her mother's gunshot wound. Before Gia could say anything, her phone rang. Sienna looked over at the phone.

"Answer it, on speaker." Gia nodded. She grabbed her phone, relieved to see Olivia's name.

"Gia? Is everyone okay?" Gia felt a strong wave of nausea hit her.

"Everyone but my mom. She was shot, but it was an accident." She didn't want any of them to think that Sienna was just outright shooting people. She didn't want this to escalate more than it had to.

"Okay. Okay...Sienna, this is Detective Benson. Let's work this out, what can we do to get everyone out of there alive?" Her mother had gone pale and silent. She needed help immediately. Gia knew one thing, this was not how she wanted her mother to go out.

"I want a car, I want to leave with my daughter and get on a plane and get us the fuck out of here."

"Okay, okay we can do that. Can you let us get Gia's mother out and medical help?" Liv asked. She had heard her use this tone many times.

"Liv, we can have Trevor carry her out." Before Liv could say anything Sienna cut her off.

"No! Rita can go. All she has done is try to help me." Gia kept her eyes on Sienna, hoping for a moment when she could take control. It didn't come. She couldn't take the chance of that gun going off again.

"Sienna, I can't carry her out of here myself." Rita tried her turn to reason with Sienna.

"C'mon Sienna, let them both go. All you need is me." Gia was silently begging her to listen.

"He wants to help take my daughter always" Sienna waved her gun towards Trevor.

"No Sienna, no. He wants to help Anna. He helped make this visit happen." Sienna let out an annoyed sigh. Gia could see she was weighing her options.

"Fine. The three of them are on their way out. Don't call back until you have a car and a flight to a country without any extradition for my daughter and I. Hang up." Gia did as she was told.

"Trevor, grab my mom and get her out of here. Rita you too." Gia just wanted the three of them out of the apartment, she was almost sure that Sienna wouldn't hurt her.

"Gia, maybe I should stay..." Rita suggested. She could tell she didn't want Gia alone in this. Gia couldn't take the chance of her getting shot too. The wildness of Sienna's eyes frightened her. Gia shook her head.

"No. You get the hell out of here now. We will be fine." Rita nodded, she trusted Gia's judgment. Trevor scooped Gia's mother up and Sienna followed behind them with her gun pointed at them. When Sienna wasn't looking, she found the voice notes app and hit record. If she died in here, she wanted them to know what happened.

She jumped when she heard the apartment door slam and the locks click. She threw her phone back on the couch She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, the slam of the door was triggering. She could not get swept up in anything else right now. She needed to stay hyper vigilant, not hyperventilating.

"Sit down." Sienna waved her gun towards the couch. Gia sat down, close to her phone.

"Sienna, what are you doing? This isn't the way to do this. I would have helped you work your way back to custody." Sienna scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Gia, you are so blind. I'm not this helpless, weak woman you all think I am." Gia shook her head in disagreement.

"I have, NEVER thought of you as weak. Not once. I am not my mother. And I know that feeling. After what happened with Ali, Nick and Rafael, they think I'm helpless. They think I can't take care of myself. It's...it's infuriating." Sienna tipped her head to the side and scoffed.

“Typical. You were a badass. You gave Alison at least a chance. You saved yourself. Maybe not weak, but fragile. You think I'm fragile. I've seen the way you watch me. I know you know I have OCD. Your mother, she honed in on it." Sienna lowered the gun, but didn't let it go.

"Thank you for not pointing that at me. What did you mean, you and Grayson would have been fine if it weren't for my mother? I missed a lot, I'm sorry." Sienna blinked at her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Jesus that woman fucked you up. You're not responsible for everyone else. You need to take care of you. God, when you had started spending time with Rafael, I saw this spark that was missing in you come alive. When you left here to stay with him, I was so happy for you. Grayson doesn't understand complex grief. I just want you to be happy Gia. Cutting them all off? The best thing you ever did for yourself. I just wish we could have done it with you still being able to see Anna. I know that wasn’t easy for you. Grayson and I never stood a chance at being happy. Your mother needled and interfered. She made him feel guilty for not having a grandson first." Gia closed her eyes and hot tears ran down her face.

"Sienna, I didn't see you as fragile. I saw you as someone who needed someone who understood and supported you. I didn't...I didn't want to come to you because I didn't want to upset you. I know I've had Grayson on a pedestal, that has become more and more apparent. I know. I knew he didn't see you, not for who you truly were. I just, didn't know how to open his eyes." Gia wiped her tears away.

"I wish...I wish we would have talked like this before. Maybe it wouldn't have come to this." Gia swallowed. Part of her wanted to hate Sienna for all of this, but she just couldn't.

"Sienna...Isaac is a terrible person. You saw that video. You saw him beat her. He arranged to have her killed and for you to take the blame if we caught him." She couldn't understand her taking Anna to meet him. Sienna scoffed.

"This is what I'm talking about. He's not like that with me. He never would be. Do you really think I didn't know what Isaac was planning? Of course I did." Gia watched as she was pacing. She didn't know if they had found mic access. What Gia did know was that there would be a sniper across from them soon and they would take a shot as soon as they could. She didn't want Sienna dead.

"Setting a woman up to be murdered? That is not you." Gia did not want to believe that Sienna could be that evil of a person.

"She wasn't supposed to be killed. She was supposed to be attacked, make it look like a robbery. Isaac and I would have left when she was in the hospital. There wasn't supposed to be a rape. But...the idiot showed up early and he improvised. Killed her sister and got, overzealous with Sara. Giselle was not supposed to be there. The truth was, Sara was crazy. She never would have let that child go. He and I...we were going to be free, our daughters would be free. I don't want her with your fucked up family. Present company excluded. You're the only one worth anything. If I could have done it without Giulia Moreno calling in favors and taking my daughter from me, I would have. I didn't want to take Anna from you. I didn't really want to take her from Grayson. I just wanted her with me. Your mother never would have let that happen." The legacy her mother would leave behind would be one of pain and destruction.

"Isaac...he sees me. He sees all of me. He loves me because of my flaws, not in spite of it." Gia could certainly understand that. Gia had more questions about Sara but they weren’t as important right now.

"Why all of the money moving?" Gia had to know what that was all about. Isaac was trying to make Sienna look guilty.

"C'mon Gia, you're a fucking Detective and a damn good one. Reasonable doubt." Gia stared at her for a moment, realizing she didn't know this woman at all.

"No, you both would be prosecuted. Rafael would make sure if it." Sienna sighed.

"That's why your mother trying to take over this visit was perfect. I'd get to kill the woman that has made my life hell for a decade, since Grayson and I got together and my daughter and I would be free. You wouldn't be involved at all. Then you showed up with the Calvary. I know you came for Anna and for me and I love you for it. I know who you are. I don't want to have to kill you Gia. But I won't let you stand in between my daughter and I getting out of here." She was in front of the window. Gia knew that they could see her through the curtain. She held her breath. They weren't really negotiating with her, if they were, Gia's phone would have rung again. They were just stalling to take her out. They knew where Anna was and they knew Gia knew how this went. Sienna didn't know anything about how hostage situations work. If she had, she never would have looked out the window. Gia couldn't help herself. She jumped up and pushed Sienna out of the way just as the bullet broke through the glass.

"Gia! No, no, no! This wasn't supposed to happen." Sienna cried out. She still had the gun in her hand but she was near Gia on the floor. The shot grazed had Gia's upper arm and she had screamed out when the searing hot pain sliced through her arm. She fell to the ground at an odd angle and smacked her head on the corner of the wall and felt the impact on her side. All Gia could think about was the movies acting like flesh wounds were no big deal being bullshit. She didn't know what was more painful, the bleeding wound or her neck and head. It wasn't long before they were bursting in the door. She was thankful that Anna had remained in her room.

"Sienna, drop your gun and get on your knees or they will kill you." She was wide eyed, she did exactly as Gia instructed. Her words came out strained. Gia laid her head back on the floor, her arm throbbing. She knew the bullet didn't go through, but it left a deep gash that was bleeding pretty heavily. She heard a lot of yelling, but it was too much for her to focus on who was saying what.

She didn't dare move her head or neck any more than she already had. That fall was rough. She could see things out of her peripheral vision. She saw Olivia carrying Anna out of the apartment. Her arms were around Olivia's neck, her scared eyes fell on Gia for a moment. That made Gia's anxiety damper, knowing her niece was okay. She closed her eyes for a moment until she heard her name. When she opened her eyes, Nick was kneeling and looking down at her.

"Jesus, I thought you were dead. Don't move." He demanded. She wondered if there was a mark on her head from where she hit it. Gia groaned. A pounding headache was raging through her skull.

"I've always wanted to say this, it's just a flesh wound." She offered him a half smile. Nick shook his head in disbelief.

"I hate you. You're an asshole. Why would you jump up like that, knowing she was in the prime location for them to take a shot." He had grabbed some gauze to press to her arm wound as they were waiting for the EMT. She cried out at the pressure.

"I didn't want her dead. I couldn't...I couldn't let it happen. You need to get my phone. I recorded us talking. She admitted to being in on the plan to hurt Sara." Nick shook his head.

"Of course you got that. Okay, the EMT is here. I'll see you soon." Gia wanted to nod, but she didn't dare. She had uttered a feeble agreement before Nick went in search of her phone.

It wasn't long before they had something wrapped on her arm and her head, she was on a stretcher with a brace around her neck and headed out of the building. As soon as she felt the cold November air hit her skin, she heard Rafael. She was too tired to open her eyes to greet him. It was the second blow to the head in 6 months, she knew she had a concussion.

The neck brace was uncomfortable. Everything seemed hazy. Gia heard them mention she had lost a lot of blood. She fought and opened her eyes. Rafael's locked with hers.

"You're going to be okay." He told her. She squeezed the hand that he had taken in his.

"I know. It's not a major wound." Rafael rolled his eyes.

"You've lost a lot of blood." She gave him a soft smile.

"No te preocupes. Esta bien." He kissed the back of her hand.

"Detective, I'm more concerned with the wound on the side of your head. This is your second major blow to the head recently." Gia moved her eyes to the other side, she saw the EMT had her back to her at the he moment.

"When I pushed her out of the way, the bullet grazed my arm and I fell. I hit the side of my head on the crown molding. There's this weird half wall near the couch." Rafael took it as a good sign that she was so alert and speaking. The EMT didn't look as relieved.

"I know, I saw your blood on it. You are going to need a head CT immediately. How's your neck?"

"It's sore, I twisted it." The EMT nodded.

"Do you have any tingling in your extremities?" Gia wasn't a fan of this line of questioning, it was making her nervous.

"Not currently, no." The EMT nodded.

"That's good. But girl, you have got to stop jumping into danger." Gia blinked for a moment. She was confused. The EMT must have registered her confusion.

"My name is Eva. I was there the night you were attacked in your apartment. They told me what you did that night. Seems like a bad habit to me." Gia let out a feeble laugh.

"I'm assuming that her being so coherent is a good sign?" Rafael's face was still laced with concern.

"Yes, it's a very good sign." Eva went back to checking Gia's vitals and making some notes. Gia gasped.

"My mom?" Her face searched Rafael's for an answer when he hesitated.

"She's in surgery. It's touch and go. If she would have been in there much longer, she would have died." Gia blinked back tears.

"Right now, Amor, you need to rest. We will talk about all of this after, okay?" He took her lack of response as an agreement. He did what he always did when he wanted to calm her, he traced his thumb over her tattoo. He didn't even have to look at it at this point.

Once they got to the hospital, they sent Rafael to the waiting room. They were taking her up for testing and would come and get him when she was in a room. If he never saw this hospital again, it would be too soon.

When Rafael walked in the waiting room, Liv was there with Grayson and Vano. Anna was laying on one of the couches asleep.

"Gia will be furious that she is here." Rafael commented, Grayson didn't respond.

"Rafa, how is she?" Olivia was the first one to ask about Gia, which pissed Rafael off.

"It's the second head injury in 6 months. They think she'll be okay, but they are doing some CT scans. I think they're worried about her neck, she twisted it. She lost a lot of blood. The bullet grazed her arm, but I think she's going to need a transfusion. She was so pale, but it was her lips, they were almost white." Rafael ran his hand down his face.

"Well, maybe she shouldn't have taken a bullet for someone who just tried to kill our mom and I let her convince me to allowing my daughter a visit with that psycho. Rafael spun around and glared at Grayson.

"God, you are such a prick. It was about to be court ordered. She had the chance to get out of that apartment. Instead, she stayed, to make sure your daughter was safe and didn't end up kidnapped. She didn't want her to die, because she is a good person. A better person than you. She didn't want your daughter to lose her mother. It will be hard enough with her in prison. That child has been traumatized enough. Gia would have wanted to save her more. Maybe if you hadn't sent a woman in there that hated your wife and would antagonize her, she wouldn't have gotten shot. If it had just been your sister, she wouldn't have done this. I heard the confession from your wife. Your mother was trying to rip her daughter from her before the visit was even over, just because she thought she could. So if your mother dies, it's on her. Fuck off." Grayson took a few steps toward Rafael and then his father was in between them.

"Grayson, enough. He's right. Your mother never should have been in there, but neither of you would listen. Gia didn't save Sienna's life to spite you and your mother. Your daughter is alive and safe because of her. Focus on that. Don't you dare place this on Gigi. She is always on your side. Show some loyalty. Tell me about the confession." Vano asked Olivia.

Rafael was surprised to hear him admonish Grayson. It was well over due. He hadn't expected Vano to say a word. Vano put his hand on Rafael's shoulder and then he went and sat down. Grayson had retreated to the couch where Anna was sleeping. Liv looked at Gia's father.

"After Detective Amaro had to hang up, Gia found a way to turn a recording on, likely when Sienna was locking the door behind the other three. She got the confession that Sienna knew what was going to happen. Apparently the plan wasn't supposed to be what actually ended up happening. She will be looking at some serious time. Isaac Moreno is at large. We were able to protect his daughter Giselle and her mother's family, thanks to Gia keeping her phone on speaker. The hope is that Sienna will want a deal and help us bring him in."

"My girl, she's smart. She's a hero" Was all Vano could say, pride in his daughter. They sat in silence for what seemed like hours. Finally, a nurse came out into the waiting room.

"Mr. Barba, you can see Detective Moreno now, she asked for you." Olivia squeezed his hand and he stood up and followed the nurse down the hall.