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vintageypanwitch · 10 months
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Cait Corrain is a garbage human being who created fake accounts to giver her debut book 5 stars on Goodreads and also gave one star reviews to upcoming BIPOC authors.
Google her name for all the receipts.
Shame on you @caitcorrain I hope your agent, publisher, and illumicrate dump your racist ass.
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After the 6 longest months in my life of keeping this a secret, I’m absolutely THRILLED to announce that my debut novel, a queer Ariadne and Dionysus retelling, CROWN OF STARLIGHT, is getting published in spring 2024, by Del Rey and Random House Canada.
This is a lifelong dream come true and I couldn’t be happier.
Check out my website for more info and to sight up for my mailing list so you can keep up with all the updates!
See you in Space Olympus!
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vintageypanwitch · 10 months
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vintageypanwitch · 10 months
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I hope so, he can carry it off.
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Alexander McQueen Men’s Spring 2024
Is he going to wear Alexander McQueen?
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vintageypanwitch · 10 months
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The guy next to him is carrying a McQueen bag - Ewan's outfit for the event?
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Im just so happy rn 🥹🥹🥹🥹
Source:@targaems via Xtwitter
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vintageypanwitch · 10 months
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In 1944 a kitten named George (short for General Electric) was saved from drowning by a U.S. Navy crew member. George was then photographed and given a liberty card and detailed health record. Source.
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vintageypanwitch · 11 months
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so say we all.
truth is there is not a single ewan mitchell character i would not smash
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vintageypanwitch · 11 months
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A slice of England's iconic A303 road shows how it changed over thousands of years.
More
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vintageypanwitch · 1 year
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marty.jz
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vintageypanwitch · 1 year
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Obsession, part 9
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"Change of plans," Aegon declared, walking into the living room. "We're heading home."
Helaena clapped, smiling. "So it's safe?"
He nodded at his sister. "I've heard from several of the Houses. Our allies stand true and I have sent word to mother to return."
He looked around.
"Where the fuck are they?"
* * * * *
"I promise you. I will protect you with everything that I have and everything that I am."
She looked so fragile at that moment, Aemond thought, the exhaustion and shock and fear flashing through the composure she'd kept so far. "I want you," she whispered, and smiled sadly. "That is all I know. This is your world and if I must embrace it, I will."
"Here." He pulled off one of the rings he usually wore, the smallest one that fit on his pinky, and took her hand. "Until I can get you a proper one."
It was too big on all her fingers except for her thumb, and she laughed when it was still a little loose. "Perfect," she said quietly.
There were three loud knocks on the door.
"If you're having sex, wrap it up - heh heh - we're leaving!"
Aemond hung his head for a moment. "Fuck off, Aegon," he finally yelled out, then turned back to her. "Yes. He is an asshole. And he is the new boss. And I trust him."
"Then I trust him, too." She smiled, "and I adore Helaena."
"I believe that's mutual." He kissed her, pressed his forehead to hers, I am glad we're going home."
* * * * *
Aegon's gaze went straight to your hand the moment you and Aemond made it to the living room, and he walked toward you.
"You should know that as head of this House I will be instituting Prima Nocta, which means-"
"I know what it means," you replied, "and no."
Aemond walked past his brother, slapping Aegon's head on his way to the kitchen. "Are we leaving now?"
"As soon as Helaena stops making lists, we are," he snapped.
"My lists keep this family going, Aeg," she said cheerfully, and closed her laptop. "Let's go."
You let Helaena shepherd you around as things were gathered and put in the trunks of the cars, and you caught her looking at the ring on your finger, but she said nothing.
Once in Aemond's car, you let out a long breath.
"You okay?"
The concern in his face warmed you, and you smiled at him. "Yeah." He took your hand, turning it to kiss the inside of your wrist. "Once Mother is home we can have a legal wedding, have you added to the books, send word to the other Houses."
"Mm-hmm."
He looked at you for a couple of moments, then started the car.
"We can have a Sept wedding later if you like, with everyone in-"
It's suddenly too much, the fear, the way the last twenty four hours had upended everything you knew, the loss of every single one of your possessions, the knowledge that you will live in danger for the rest of your life with him, and you burst into tears, much to your horror.
You clamp one hand, then the other, over your mouth, even though you can't stop crying, and it takes Aemond only a second to pull you in, to wrap his arms around you and simply hold you while you sob uncontrollably.
You wonder if Alicent ever sobbed like this, like a complete idiot, and you decide she probably didn't, because she's a hardcore bitch who murdered her asshole husband and you're just a normal girl who had a normal life and a normal job and then you had to go fall in love with a guy who tortures and kills for a living.
But he has also shielded you from bullets and followed you when your asshole ex played your fucking song at his wedding, and has told you things that you just know he hasn't shared with many others. He has told you the truth about what he does and asked you to marry him and you figure that has to count for something because the way you want Aemond is not like you've ever wanted anyone before.
"I'm sorry," you finally whisper, and he kisses the top of your head.
"There is nothing to be sorry about," he murmurs against your hair. "I've got you."
* * * * *
"Here we are," Aemond said, opening the door and letting you walk into his place. It was within the estate but far enough from the main house that it felt like its own property. You didn't really know what to expect, but once you walked in, you saw that it was very much a reflection of him.
The living room was spacious, with lots of natural light, the clean lines of the furniture mixing with touchable fabrics that made the entire place welcoming. "My room is this way," he said, taking your hand.
The word that came to mind when you stepped into his room was refuge. The bed had a timeless wrought iron frame in darkest black to contrast with the snowy linens. There was a large leather club chair to the right of the fireplace and on one of the night tables there were a couple of books next to the lamp. No fuss, just comfort.
You'd calmed down since your earlier bout of tears and Aemond, while not hovering, was keeping an eye on you.
"Knock knock!"
You turned at the sound of Helaena's voice.
"Come in," Aemond said.
"I kind of need help, boo!"
You went out there and found her standing amidst half a dozen boxes. "You didn't get very much," she frowned. "I mean, three pairs of shoes? Who owns only three pairs of shoes?"
* * * * *
One thing you had ordered along with the basics to carry you through the next week or so, was a short white dress. You were not getting married in jeans or sweats or leggings, not when same-day delivery existed. And so, once Alicent arrived, you began to feel butterflies in your stomach. You were getting married.
Tonight.
"May I come in?"
Speaking of your soon-to-be-mother in law, she was standing at the door of the guest bedroom where you were getting ready.
"Of course, please, come in."
Alicent looked impeccable, of course, and she walked in. "Oh, is that your dress?" She went up to it, turned to you with a smile. "It is beautiful."
"Thank you."
"Sit with me, please."
You followed her to the little sitting area by the window.
"Out of all my children, I thought Aemond would be the last to marry, if at all," she began. "I figured Aegon would make some alliance with another House, same with Helaena, and Daeron is so beloved by everyone that he is bound to find a partner." Her smile faded.
You watched and listened, because frankly, the woman terrified you.
"Aemond hasn't had the easiest time of it. He found his purpose in his work, in keeping us safe, but I always worried he might be too comfortable in his loneliness." She reached into her pocket and for a moment you thought she was going to pull out a gun, but it was a small box that she placed in front of you. "These are Targaryen jewels, part of a larger collection. I thought you should have them, since you are the first bride of this generation." She looked at you, her eyes sharp, "and because my son seems to have a new light in him."
"Thank you, I-"
"I hope that light never dims," she said softly, "for his sake. And yours."
She stood, ran her hand down the side of your face, and left while you tried to not throw up.
It was only when you had dressed and were ready to meet Aemond that you remembered the little box.
Inside were a pair of earrings, large diamond teardrops surrounded by smaller stones, hanging from a round diamond in a similar setting. If these things were real, and you doubted Alicent Hightower wore fakes, they were worth more than the yearly budget of a small kingdom in Essos. You put them on, slipped on your new silver heels and went to meet your groom.
* * * * *
"Can we have a stag night later on?"
Aemond rolled his eye at his brother. "No."
Aegon fell back on Aemond's bed, groaning. "You're such a fucking bore, you fucking twat!"
Aemond turned after fixing his tie and looked down at Aegon. "Come on."
"In a rush to get to the wedding night, are you?"
Saying nothing in return, Aemond began heading towards the front door, and then he saw her.
She was standing by one of the bookcases in the living room, examining the titles. Her white dress was short and showed off her pretty shoulders, her slim waist, and he felt a strange tenderness, and guilt, that this rushed wedding was necessary to keep her a little safer because she'd chosen to be with him.
When she turned, she smiled and looked at him from his head to the tips of his freshly polished shoes. "You look very nice."
He reached her, kissed her cheek. "You are breathtaking." He noticed the earrings and smiled. "I see mother has welcomed you to the family."
"Oh she has," she replied, and caught sight of Aegon. "Hello brother."
"Remember, I am the oldest and I can tell him what to do." Aegon threw back a small glass of something amber-colored and then walked out, heading toward the main house.
Aemond offered you his arm and you took it, and followed Aegon out the door.
* * * * *
"Does she have any family?"
"Only child, deadbeat dad, mom bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend and she left when the boyfriends started noticing her as well."
Helaena turned to Aegon. "That is awful!"
"We will keep an eye on them, in case they choose to resurface," Alicent said as bride and groom strolled in. "Ser Criston, are you ready to do the honors?"
"Of course, Mrs. Targaryen."
Alicent went up to her soon-to-be daughter-in-law, admiring the way the earrings looked on her. "You look very beautiful, dear."
"Thank you. Oh hey, Helaena!"
"I got you something," Helaena said, and handed you a bouquet. It was mostly white flowers but had some blue hydrangeas throughout. "I didn't know if you had something blue, so I had them add these."
"That was so thoughtful of you, thank you!"
Alicent watched her daughter beam at the praise and then signaled to Ser Criston to take his place. "We can get started, yes?"
* * * * *
I'm a married man.
I expected to be the one seeing everyone else get married before me, but here we are.
My wife - my wife - looked beautiful. I told her as many times as I could, but it wasn't enough. She was calm and composed and spoke clearly during the wedding.
Now we're back at my place. Our place now. Our bedroom. So much has changed in a few weeks, and-
There she is. She's wearing a short nightgown, and she smiles shyly at me. Is she as nervous as I am?
I walk up to her, to this woman who has turned my world upside down so quickly, and I kiss her. Her lips are familiar now, a comfort as well as a delight. When I trace her lower lip with my tongue, she lets me in and makes a little sound as her arms go around me.
I can't wait and I take her to the bed, her bare legs tangling with mine as we lay down and she brushes my hair back from my forehead. Her fingers are slim and cool and I think of them wrapped around my cock.
But first I want to see her come undone, so I slip one delicate strap off her shoulder, then the other, and I tug on the nightgown until I can brush my lips over her naked breasts. She bites down on her lip when I take one rosy peak in my mouth. I swirl my tongue around and she whimpers, a sweet little sound that makes me smile against her skin.
I slip the nightgown lower until she's kicking it off and she's completely naked. She's pulling me up to her but instead I slip down until I can spread her open and hook her legs over my shoulders. The taste of her is addicting and I've only had one night with her, so I grab her thighs, keeping them in place.
When I run my tongue over her, she shudders. I remember how she went to pieces last night while I ate her out, orgasm after orgasm tearing her apart, and I feel myself getting harder, but right now I want to make her scream, so I suck her flesh into my mouth and she arches off the bed as she comes, and nothing has ever tasted better.
I don't plan on giving her time to recover, and start to lick her in slow, steady strokes using the flat of my tongue. She's whimpering because she knows I am not going to stop, she knows I will make her come until she is delirious with pleasure, until her body is no longer hers.
I think she starts saying my name but it turns into a moan and she doesn't want to, but her hips start rocking ever so gently. Her fingers are clutching at the bedcovers, and I know she's going to come soon and the taste of her is going to flood my tongue again. I never stop, I keep working her, driving her closer and closer until she goes very still, her thighs tensing as the orgasm hits her and she screams again, and it's the heavenliest sound I have ever heard.
She's panting now, saying something about the gods, but I've only gotten started and the gods can go fuck themselves while I fuck my wife. She starts pressing her hips against me, grinding against my face, her feet pushing on the bed to get leverage, so I begin pushing two fingers inside of her. Ever so slowly I push into the heat of her. She whines as my fingers reach deep inside and I curl my fingertips.
The way she clenches around me nearly makes me come, but this is about her right now, and when she comes again, I swirl my tongue over her, wanting every bit of her taste.
She sobs and reaches for my hair, and I hear her whispering.
Please, please, please.
Her wish is my command.
* * * * *
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vintageypanwitch · 1 year
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the pussy wants what she wants
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vintageypanwitch · 1 year
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“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
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vintageypanwitch · 1 year
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Fuck 🥵🔥
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vintageypanwitch · 1 year
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Can you see the vision? 😍🔥
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vintageypanwitch · 1 year
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Obsession, part 2
Part 1
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He'd thought about her all week. During meetings, while driving, even while the Baratheon girl had her mouth around his cock. Now he smiled to himself because as he got ready for the stupid wedding his mother was making them all go to like good little children, he knew she'd be there.
She'd been in the same sorority as the bride, the daughter of his mother's cousin, who was marrying some guy from fucking Pentos of all places.
"I'm not driving."
He looked at his brother in the reflection of the mirror. "I know."
He glared at Aegon, already buzzed, and finished adjusting his tie before heading out to the car. Of course Aegon wouldn't be driving, he would not put his family's safety in his older brother's hands.
"You look very nice, Aem."
"And you look beautiful, Hel," he replied, kissing his sister's cheek. She twirled in her pretty pink dress and he thought for a moment about how close she'd come to dying. He'd added extra security, plainclothes because Helaena didn't like to have the usual guys around her.
The Boltons would pay. His earlier meeting had been with the other houses that supported his family. They had all agreed there needed to be retribution, and were it not for the stupid wedding, he would most likely already be on his way to mete out some punishment.
But for now he had to play nice and look forward to seeing one particular wedding guest.
* * * * *
You could do this.
You could walk into the massive sept and take your seat and watch as your sorority sister married that piece of shit scumbag asshole from the seven hells.
Easy peasy.
Despite your hints that the bridegroom was a nasty piece of crap, Ellie was in love and she was determined to marry him. You just smiled and decided you'd be there for her when she dumped his ass and divorced him.
He wasn't the love of your life or anything, but it still stung when you'd find out he'd been fucking two other girls on the side. Or maybe you were one of the side chicks. Who knew. It just sucked. And after getting tested and burning all the shit he'd kept at your place, you'd moved on.
Until he got Ellie to believe he was a changed man.
People didn't change.
Once an asshole, always an asshole.
You took a program from one of the ushers and took your seat, halfway down the right side of the sept, and opened up Candy Crush on your phone.
"Oh, there she is!"
You saw a blur of pink heading your way and looked up to see Helaena smiling at you.
And her brother was walking alongside her, smirking.
You hugged Helaena back while pretending you did not see Aemond standing three feet behind her.
"Oh my gosh, I've told everyone about how you saved my life!"
Before you could reply, she grabbed both of your hands in hers. "My mom really wants to meet you."
Out of the corner of your eye you could see Aemond smiling and you wanted to kick him. Hard.
"That would be delightful," you said as sincerely as you could, because one simply did not turn down a mafia wife, let alone THE mafia wife.
The septon walked out and much to your relief, everyone started heading to their seats.
"I will see you at the reception," Helaena whispered before heading off.
You nodded, and purposely avoided looking at Aemond as you sat back down. Candy Crush was just too damn interesting for you to pay attention to some mafia son who wasn't used to people saying no to him.
* * * * *
Aemond kept surveying the ballroom, making sure there was no one around who wasn't supposed to be there. But his gaze kept turning to the table across the dance floor, where a certain brunette in a sky blue dress sat chatting with the other guests.
It was time for the newlyweds to have their first dance, and everyone stood as the happy couple took to the floor. The lights dimmed, much to Aemond's irritation, and music faded in. He hadn't heard this song before, and the lyrics were kind of corny, if he was honest, but then he caught sight of her.
She was looking at the groom, her mouth open, her eyes distressed.
Aemond turned to look at the couple dancing, and when he turned to her, she was gone.
He caught a shimmer of movement towards the side door and immediately backed away from the dance floor. He signaled to the head bodyguard to keep an eye on things, and he made his way to the side door.
She was several yards ahead of him, walking fast, her hands on her ears. Aemond realized there were speakers throughout the property, every single one of them pumping out the corny song being played for the first dance, and then she started running.
When she reached the end of the corridor, she looked from one side to the other, and turned left, and he followed. Between his longer legs and the fact that she was wearing heels, he was catching up with her, but when he turned the corner he found her sitting on one of the benches lining the gardens. She was doubled over, her face in her hands, her clutch on the floor.
"Hey."
She looked up, startled.
"What is wrong?"
She looked at him. "Why the hell are you following me?"
"You were with him."
She looked like she was about to cry.
"Was that your song?"
She grabbed her clutch and stood, turning away from him and starting to walk again. There was another speaker high up on the wall, and she groaned. "Is there nowhere I can get away from this fucking song?"
He ran up to her and grabbed her free hand. "My car's right up there."
* * * * *
What the fuck was wrong with people to have the fucking music piped all over the fucking property?
You had to get away, you couldn't listen to this fucking song for another fucking minute.
Looking down at Aemond's hand wrapped around yours, you made your decision. Turning to him, you said, "let's go."
He hadn't been lying, his car was parked away from where the other guests had left their cars, and you figured it was so he could get away quickly if he needed to.
Right now you didn't care, it was bad enough being at this fucking wedding and then the stupid song, it was like it was chasing you, not giving you a second of peace.
You let Aemond open the passenger door, let him walk around and get in, let him drive away, and only then did your breathing start to slow down from the frenzied pace it had been keeping.
"It was your song, wasn't it?" he asked again, "yours and that fuckface's?
You took a deep breath. "Not exactly."
He gave you time to compose yourself, let you gather your thoughts before you started to speak. "He used to write me these stupid poems. They were so cringe, but whatever, you know?"
Aemond looked at you, nodding.
"This was the last one he gave me," you said quietly. "Hey, at least he recycles, right?"
"I am sorry."
"I don't even know why I'm so upset, it's not like he left me for her. He was an asshole."
He said nothing, and you felt like even a bigger fucking idiot. Why were you telling your girl problems to this guy, of all people? Just shut the fuck up and let him drop you off.
"Oh, I should give you my address."
"Sure."
* * * * *
He was already driving that way, but she probably hadn't noticed because she was so upset. She lived in a tiny house that had probably been someone's guest house or in-law unit, and judging from her social media posts, it was just her living there.
He wouldn't feel bad for finding things out. For all he knew, she was part of the whole attempt on Helaena, someone placed there to "save" his sister and become her friend that way.
Except this girl didn't seem to want anything to do with him or Hel. She'd been pleasant enough but he could read people, and after Helaena had spoken to her, she'd scurried off as quickly as she could.
"Are you hungry?" he asked suddenly, "you didn't have dinner."
"Oh shit," she said, pressing a hand to her mouth, "neither did you, I'm sorry."
"Do you want to go somewhere?"
She glanced down at her gown and raised an eyebrow. "Um, no, I'm okay. I have food at home."
It had been ingrained in him since he was a child. He protected the women in the family.
Keep them warm, keep them fed.
"We can do a drive-through."
Her stomach rumbled loudly and he almost laughed. "We're doing a drive-through."
* * * * *
He parked in front of your house after picking up food, and while part of you was appalled at eating a messy burger and fries in your gorgeous rented gown, the smell was just too damn good and you dove in. Because you were not inviting him in.
"Thank you," you said after wiping your mouth. "For the food and the rescue."
And now you owed him. Maybe he'd consider it even with you saving his sister because you really did not want to owe him anything.
"No problem." He took all the wrappers and placed them into the paper bag, placed it in the back. "Do you like your job?"
Here we go. This is where he offers me a job and I'm indebted for fucking life.
"I do, actually."
"You seem much too smart to be doing what you do."
When you glared at him for a) knowing what you did, and b) having a fucking opinion about it, he shrugged.
"It's my job to know who comes into our lives, and I'm very good at my job."
"I am paid very well, and I like the people I work with."
"But you could be doing something so much more interesting."
You took a deep breath, because you'd had this same conversation with your brother, the last time you'd heard from him.
"Look, I get that to you-, I mean, to some people," you amended, not wanting to offend him, "a job like mine, doing peon shit for a random company might seem ridiculous."
"I didn't say that, I just think you could be doing-"
"And maybe it is," you continued, "and you've known me for a grand total of what, forty minutes, and no, I don't spend my life chasing wealth and power like, again, other people, but neither am I walking into coffee shops where men are waiting to shoot at me."
His face was unreadable, but he'd gone very, very still, and you were fucking tired and again, your fucking mouth had to keep going.
"Can your sister date whoever she wants?"
A muscle twitched in his cheek and you knew you'd hit a nerve.
Nodding smugly, you grabbed your clutch and opened your door. "Thanks again for everything. Take care."
You were surprised, because you were shaking so badly, that you managed to get out of the car and thank the fucking gods the key fob worked on the first try so you could get in your house and close the door and be done with everything.
You headed to your bedroom to change your clothes, pulling on one of your old concert shirts and some soft shorts before heading back to the living area.
When the front door opened, you shrieked and jumped back before seeing Aemond at the doorway, his hand on the lock.
"What the hell?"
He stared at you, his face unreadable. "You think you know me," he said softly, "you think you know everything. "
Anger surged in your chest. At his audacity. At the fact that he could so easily get into your home. "You mean like I just knew you were the type of guy who breaks into a woman's home so he can get the last word?" Your hands were fisted at your side and you swore to the new gods and the old if he took another step you were going to rip out his good eye with your own fingers.
He started to take a step toward you, but you pointed at him.
"Get out. I don't care you who are, I don't care who you know. Get. Out."
You turned around, tears beginning to fill your eyes. You went into the bathroom and locked the door, until you heard the front door close.
You waited a few seconds before you went back out. Your heart was beating so hard you thought you were going to pass out.
* * * * *
How the hell had things gone so wrong so quickly?
I'm sorry.
Aemond drove home, angry with himself. He'd wanted to explain, to tell her he wasn't a fucking asshole, and for some gods-awful reason had decided to crack the lock on her door?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
He'd probably terrified her. Which was his usual intent when he broke into people's houses but he hadn't thought it through, had he?
The next morning he was still seething at his own stupidity, and didn't notice Helaena walking in.
"Are you okay?"
He looked up to find her staring at him, her eyes wide.
"Yeah, why?"
"You disappeared from the wedding, for one, and now you look pissed off."
"I'm fine."
Helaena walked over and kissed his cheek, then grabbed her favorite butterfly mug from the cabinet and poured herself some coffee. "I'm going to call her. The girl from the cafe. Ask her to lunch, ya know?"
Aemond closed his eyes, sighing, "Hel, just leave her alone."
"What do you mean leave her alone, lunch is a nice thing, I want to say thank you properly."
"Just don't."
She was silent and when he looked back up from his coffee, she had tears in her eyes.
"I can't see the Snow boy because he's a bastard, I can't have lunch with the girl who saved my life, because what?"
He shook his head. "Hel, it's just not-"
"Not a good idea, yeah, I know, Aemond. Nothing is ever a good idea for me, I'm going to die alone!"
"Oh sheesh, sorry!" Aegon pressed himself against the wall as Helaena stomped away, crying. "What the fuck did you do to her?"
"Nothing."
Aegon walked behind his brother and smacked Aemond's head on his way to getting his own coffee. "Go clean that up and tell me what the fuck is wrong with Helaena. Today, I mean."
Aemond groaned and grabbed paper towels, smacking Aegon's head as he went to clean up the mess his sister had made. "She wants to be friends with the girl from the cafe."
"Is she hot?"
Aemond shot his brother a dirty look.
"Hey, I might want to be her friend, too."
"She wants nothing to do with us, I just don't want Hel to get her feelings hurt." When he looked up, Aegon was watching him with eyes narrowed. He fucking hated how perceptive Aegon was when he wasn't drunk. He gathered all the shards of the mug and threw them in the trash, wiped off the floor and threw the paper towels in the trash, too. He looked back at Aegon, who was smiling at him. "What's wrong with you?"
"You did something." Aegon laughed out loud. "Oh, I fucking love this. The perfect son fucked something up. You did, didn't you?"
"Shut up."
"Yeah, how would you know the girl wants nothing to do with us?" Aegon raised an eyebrow, "unless you talked to her?"
"Of course I talked to her, I needed to know who she was. She might have been planted into playing the 'savior' to get in with Hel."
Aegon sipped his coffee, stood up to add more milk. "Yeah yeah, but something else happened," he kept watching Aemond, who was almost squirming under his brother's scrutiny. "You didn't fuck her, because you hardly ever fuck anyone, let alone someone who might be a plant, so what? Tell me, or I will find her and ask her myself."
For fuck's sake, Aegon would. And he would make everything even worse.
"She was at the wedding. Left suddenly and I followed her, found her crying because she used to date the groom and the fucker used some song or something he'd given her as the first dance yesterday."
"That's a dick move."
"Anyway, I drove her home and might have let on I thought she was wasting her time at that stupid job she has."
"Aemond, what the fuck." Aegon pinched the bridge of his nose.
Aemond shrugged. "She took offense, said people like us didn't get people like her or some shit, and got out and went inside her house."
A huge smile appeared on Aegon's face. "And you couldn't let it go, could you?" When Aemond said nothing, Aegon barked out a laugh. "You're pathologically unable to let anyone else have the last word."
"Fuck off."
"Yeah yeah, sure, so what, you broke into her house?"
"I'm going to break your fucking face if you don't fuck right off."
"Oh I'm going, I got people to call."
* * * * *
On Monday, you arrived at the office and found two bouquets of flowers waiting for you.
"Someone had a great time at that wedding."
You ignored your boss's voice and hauled the vases to your desk, taking out the little cards from each.
The one that came with the pink roses read I meant to explain myself and ended up scaring you. I truly am sorry. A
The one with the rather gynecological-looking orchids read I can tell you anything you want to know about Aemond, I'm his brother and I know everything. Aegon II Targaryen
There was also a phone number on Aegon's card and you laughed to yourself.
"My dear girl, did we have two foxes in that henhouse?"
You ran into your boss's office and closed the door before she could continue speculating loudly enough for the whole floor to hear.
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vintageypanwitch · 1 year
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Obsession
Pairing: Modern AU Mafia Aemond Targaryen x reader
Warnings: Smut, violence.
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Being impulsive has always gotten me in trouble. There was the time I slapped a priest (don't ask), the time I told the principal she should drop dead (I was five) and now, for my grand finale, the time I unwittingly helped out a mafia capo. Or don. Which one is higher?
Anyway.
It was a plain old Wednesday morning when I went to the coffee shop during my break because I was so fucking bored at work I was going to fall asleep unless a caffeine IV was placed into my arm. Since that is probably illegal, I decided on a 4-shot iced coffee with extra sugar to keep me awake until it was time to go home.
It doesn't help when your boss sits behind you so she can see your screen at all times. Fuck.
I was waiting for my drink when I noticed a couple of guys walking in, and I say noticed, because they didn't look like the types to get a half-caf mochaccino with extra whip.
Okay, maybe the whip part, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
They were dressed in suits, everything black from tie to shirt to shoes. And instead of going to the counter and placing an order like a normal fucking person, they just stood against the wall, almost blending in.
The barista, a tiny girl with multicolored hair, looked at them and elbowed the multipierced guy working with her. They looked at each other and went back to their work.
But then someone else walked in who was the complete opposite of the two weirdos. A blonde girl with a shirt covered in pictures of bugs and a big smile on her face went straight to the counter and asked for "the usual".
Then she turned, and froze.
The two guys took a step toward her and reached into their jackets, and her eyes widened with fear, and before I could help myself or tell myself to stay the fuck out of other peoples' fucking business, I was shoving her behind the counter and throwing myself on top of her while I yelled out, "call the police!"
One of the guys managed to get out a shot but it went nowhere near us.
Someone tripped and dumped an entire blenderful of something fruity on top of us, completely soaking my back.
That's what I get for being nice.
* * * * *
The girl's name was Helaena, and when she said her last name was Targaryen, I felt a shiver down my spine. I knew that name. The fucking top family in all of the Westerosi mafia. I started to stealthily walk away since I had already told the cops everything I remembered, when a sleek little number pulled up, almost silently, and a tall guy with an eyepatch got out, rushing over to Helaena.
He patted her down, making sure she was okay, then hugged her, which I thought was sweet until I remembered who these people were.
And then Helaena pointed at me.
I turned around, wanting nothing more than to back around the corner to get all my shit from the office because I'd just told my boss I was going home for the day.
"Excuse me, miss?"
Fuck that.
I kept walking , hoping the dude with the rather nice voice would give up, but then I felt someone grab my arm, and I turned, making sure I did not look at his face.
"I wanted to thank you-"
"You don't have to. Bye."
"Wait, I just want to-"
"You owe me nothing, you don't need to say anything, I have to go."
"I insist," he said, and grabbed my other arm.
"I insist that i have to go back to work," I snapped. His shoes were very nice. Looked expensive.
"Why aren't you looking at me?"
I scoffed, and pushed away from him. "From what I hear, there are people you just don't look at in the face." He was quiet and then I felt like a fool. "Not that I know who you are or anything. Or that girl, I've already forgotten her name, I don't know anything. Goodbye."
"I owe you-"
"You owe me nothing," I said firmly, or at least, as firmly as one can say while NOT looking at the person you're saying it to. "You owe me nothing, and I certainly owe you nothing. We're totally even, and I will forget any of this happened by tomorrow. I mean tonight."
With that stupid word salad, I turned and walked toward the office, holding my soaked shirt in one hand. I had to admit the coffee shop had some really nice t-shirts, one of which I was currently wearing.
* * * * *
Aemond Targaryen smiled as he watched her walk away.
He could easily get the girl's name and address from the police report, and everything else he'd find out quickly.
It was obvious she knew who his family were, and he didn't blame her for wanting to steer clear of him.
Problem was, he was now intrigued.
He'd really only meant to say thank you, maybe send her some flowers, but then she'd made it crystal clear she wanted none of it.
He headed back to his sister, who was on the phone with their cousins, telling them all about the amazing girl who had saved her life and detailing every single dramatic moment. "Okay, girls, gotta go. Yes, dinner tomorrow. Love you both!"
"Hel, mom is freaking out, we need to go over there before she sends the cavalry."
"Okay okay, let's go!"
He drove his sister to their mother's home, the whole time thinking about the girl who wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.
* * * * *
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vintageypanwitch · 1 year
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It is such a complicated thing for me.  I despised both of them for so long.  Diana was a lamb when she joined the RF and they turned her into what she became.  That said, she did die and what, were C&C supposed to never be together officially because of Diana’s memory?  I will admit to cringing when I saw that royal magazine cover of their marriage that said “At Last”  -  I thought that was so tone deaf.  But at this point I am glad they are together, it sounds like they are good for each other now.  But they hurt so many people to get to this point, so yeah, I do go round and round on this.
Different anon here, I also don't understand why would anyone want to come forward to justify Charles and Camilla's relationship, they both had their choices and unfortunately their decisions made their closest kin suffer particularly the innocent children who had to bear the repercussion.
Not you waking up and choosing violence. Listen - I don't have a problem with their relationship currently but their journey to getting there was nothing to brag about and their relationship is not something I would aspire to or consider goals as a result. This might be a controversial take but I'm certain that their past is the reason I will never 100% like or love them. Or have any real interest in them. I feel fine about them and I like to see them every now and again but that's it.
It's very complicated to not be fully on board with them or fully love them but also get mad occasionally when I see them being painted as villains with no redeeming qualities and not as somewhat victims of their circumstances. I guess this is what people call nuance. I wonder if anyone else feels the same.
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vintageypanwitch · 1 year
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Resources are going to tourists, Lahaina is devastated, please donate if you can, spread the word if you cannot.
uh so i never do this but maui is quite literally on fire and there isn't nearly enough care or consideration for. you know. Native Hawaiians who live here being displaced and the land (and cultural relevance) that's being eaten up by the fire. so if ya'll wanna help, here's some links:
maui food bank: https://mauifoodbank.org/
maui humane society: https://www.mauihumanesociety.org/
center for native hawaiian advancement: https://www.memberplanet.com/campaign/cnhamembers/kakoomaui
hawai'i red cross: https://www.redcross.org/local/hawaii/ways-to-donate.html
please reblog and spread the word if you can't donate.
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