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The roaring 20s review

At 24 I thought I had all my plans figured out

I just started grad school

I ended a 3 year relationship

24 was going to be all about me

(It wasn't)

24 felt like the lost years of everything Id ever known

Grad school was exhausting

I was working 30-40 hour weeks on top of that

Drinking every weekend to forget my ex

Until one day I was graduating and working a 9-5

The cycle felt never ending

Each year Id tell myself "after this week it'll get easier"

Im 29 now, the ease never came

My 20s have been hyper focused on the weekends

Or what guy is giving me attention this month

Feels pathetic to admit

I remember feeling so confused and so sad

Hoping one day someone would just come save me

A decade of waiting has passed

And I have not been "chosen"

When I was 10 I told my grandma that my "dream" was to be married with 2 kids by the time I was 25

Guess how that went....

My 25th birthday was spent at bar and my bed at 2am with McDonald's and a broken nail (ouch)

My childhood self was sold this fake dream

My 20s were spent chasing it, chasing the impossible

So I have felt like a failure

I have let that 10 year old down

But again.... why at 10 was my dream a husband?

And KIDS? AT Ten years old? That was my dream?

Devastating...

If I was trying to fulfill something I couldn't possibly get

Maybe my 20s were a reality check

Time to figure it all out (at least some part out)

At 20 I learned Im not invincible

At 21 I learned I can't trust everyone

At 22 I learned some friendships wont last

At 23 I learned some people wont like you

At 24 I learned drinking and starving wont cure my pain

At 25 I learned some people will use you

At 26 I learned some bosses just suck

At 27 I learned I can get new bosses

At 28 I learned to how to survive all on my own

At 29 I learned home is wherever I make it

A decade of lessons and I will still be learning

I hope this nee decade allows me to live

Live without pursuit of a fake dream

Life without trying to prove myself to anyone

I deserve a decade of peace

A decade of love and happiness

30s full of friends, family, and safety

My dear 20 year olds

Your 20s are going to kick your ass

I was knocked down year after year and am so glad Im still standing

I needed the kick, I needed the growth

I needed to see my worth through my own eyes

To 10 year old me

Im sorry things were so hard for you this decade

I wish I could've protected you more from the sadness

From the pain of losing your friends

From the loss of your innocence that is fading more and more

From the men that have belittled your confidence and glow

The misuse of your mind and body to fulfill lustful intentions for the false promises of love

I wish I would've given you more self love and validation

Reminded you all you are worth

Given you knowledge and friendships to feed your soul

You are more than a body

You deserve everything you have ever wanted

As I close out my 20s this year

Thank you to my ex

Man, you sucked, but in the best way, its made me so great now

Thank you to the friendships Ive lost

I never forgot any of you, I miss some of you dearly still

Thank you to the men who mistreated me

You broke me into a million pieces, you stole my hope for love, and yet Im still hopeful, and Im still rebuilding, and you will never get a piece of me again

Thank you to the friends that have lasted

You keep my spirit alive, you keep my heart so full

And thank you to myself

For staying strong through it all, it doesn't get easier, but you just keep getting stronger

20s review: 4 out of 5 stars