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i was born in the downloads folder all alone with only a readme file to my name

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Good news. we can finally Be Bees. this isn't your world, but we can Be Bees. this is Good news. you can Be a Bee. you'll live like a Bee. A Pet. A pet? A Pet. Mark, this is Good news. You'll live. for 30 years. THIS IS INSANE

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Every time someone says "we need a new political party in America to represent all the people in the center!" I am reminded of the Dutch Centre Party aka the owners of one of the funniest opening lines of a wiki article:

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when i talk shit about golfing, please know that none of it is about mini golf. it could never be about her. she's done nothing wrong in her entire life. god's perfect little putt putt.

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elon musk is like if you distilled the essence of 2010 “you, sir, win the most epic of upvotes” reddit and put it into the body of a wealthy peanut factory owner from 1835 london who exclusively employed 5 year old orphans

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Fish-rice integration is exciting. You harvest both fishes and rice on the same land. Do you like it?

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First ape to go to the watering hole with a container and put some of the water in it so that they could drink more later without returning to the watering hole must have been lauded as a fucking genius.

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Day 54

Asuka Strikes!

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the secret to organising any kind of trip with your friends is to become the benevolent dictator. do NOT wait for everyone to provide a consensus on things before you book anything. do it and then ask for feedback after. do not ask people what they would like to do just tell them what is happening and let them all nod along like the sheep they are. this is the ONLY way to coordinate a group of adults in their 20s/30s

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Update from the man himself