visual-language-of

[visual-language-of]

Artist Statement

Now I endlessly cry alongside my sky

As the dark of the night leads me astray.

The stars taken down have been buried inside.

Its shine now only a reminiscence.

Burning image of its radiance.

The sky falling down as I have grown up.

Looking up now devoid of meaning.

Stuck in my head, looking down.

How have you been feeling, my little?

Chasing after the stars

Has made me realise.

Is there no end to this torment?

I can always just let you take over.

Make us start all over.

Yet,

With this self so clueless

You wouldn't notice if roofless.

Where would we end up

If not back deep down.

So I will carry you in the back of my mind.

Until we can reach the midnight sky.

And will then let you snatch the shine.

And you will no longer be mine.

There will be just one.

[visual-language-of]

☆ digital developments ☆

Starry letters

[visual-language-of]

☆ digital developments ☆

[visual-language-of]

You have been taken from me.

By our own self

By our forced hand.

But now that they are gone

We needn't be scared.

I will take you back.

Put you together myself.

So you can be my self.

Take a break

And piece my self

Back together

Right aftet.

Can you open yourself up

To me once again please.

I've locked you up.

I've Abandoned you.

But I want you back in me.

I gave you the key.

Open the memory room

To me once again.

What else is out there? What else

I can give you?

What is

Who is that

You are looking

At now?

Do you know?

The difference?

All so cramped

These should have been

Cut so long ago.

But I have neglected myself.

Maybe that's why it hurt

So much.

It felt so rough against my mind.

☆ poems ☆

Poems is how I communicate with myself, making it more intricate and meaningful, keeping my mind occupied and making me think how the poem feels, how it feels writing them, how it feels reading them. Otherwise I am too mundane to myself. It doesn't make me feel anything but makes me think just how empty and clueless I am.

And so I make myself a riddle so I am interesting enough.

[visual-language-of]

☆ mirror ☆

A mirror is something that is often referenced when relating to the theme of identity and oneself. With a broken mirror, I'm showing part of self gone, when I look into it I can't see my reflection, but I know it's there because it's a mirror, it mirrors and shows.

I can't physically see that inner child within me but I know it's there, somewhere. Because we all do.

The pink is somewhere within myself.

[visual-language-of]

☆ letters and pouches ☆

Those are letters between my present, adult self and my inner child. Two selves are talking to one another but also to oneself. Asking, explaining and pleading.

At first I've put two different sets of tiles into each pouch, distinguishing each self, adult one having the neat stamp star pattern while the inner child had the messy, imperfect one.

[visual-language-of]

☆ tile puzzle ☆

When working on tiles for previous developments, I've sanded them down so they are smooth, without any marks and imperfections. However, some of those tiles had this intricate texture to them that looked almost skin-like, which reminded me of scars, something that I used to reference often in my past works to depict hardships related to my trauma-based themes.

Those are part of each one of my selves as they are what shaped me throughout the years, and so I wanted to highlight them, make them visible.

A puzzle is a perfect representation of self and shows that the whole is made out of pieces and that they sometimes can get lost.

[visual-language-of]

☆ more tiles ☆

Some more developmental work with tiles.

Was trying out different star patterns using stamps, stencils, airbrush and pencils.

[visual-language-of]

☆ stop motion animation ☆

I wanted to imitate the idea of the memory room and how with time I've realised that it was pointless.

Already as a child I wanted to keep all my memories and the silly things I like (depicted as stars) locked in a room while the rest of my home would clean, minimalistic and empty.

Years later after I've finally moved out on my own and has spent so much time with just myself, I've realised how lonely it would make me. Having an empty home with nothing to make me smile and make me remember the good things that happened to me throughout the years. Just how clueless my younger self was about what the adulthood actually is like.

It seemed as if I was so overwhelmed with all the things happening to me at the time to the point where I needed to create a space for myself where I could have some peace of mind. However, I didn't want to get rid of those happy memories and so I just wanted to put them aways for later.

The animation shows how all those happy little things are slipping out of the room and spreading throughout the whole space. How pointless would it be to try containing them. And the darker colour palette of purple and black was to symbolise my older self, that went through things, yet is still holding onto this childlike innocence, making space for my inner child.

☆ frames put together, looped, pre editing ☆

Process

☆ air drying clay cutouts ☆

☆ sanding, piecing together ☆

☆ first and last frame ☆

I've painted the stars both by hand and by using the kid's airbrush set I've bought a while ago with stencils sheets.

[visual-language-of]

☆ Sketchbook ☆

[visual-language-of]

Visual Research

ig @/studiotomby

ig @/meggychiaaaa

Tiles can be laid down on the floor and on the walls, but they also remind me of a puzzle. They are wee pieces that create a whole and someone needs to put them together.

That concept fits my idea of the metaphorical memory room that I thought of when I was younger.

ig @/nirali.paints

ig @/jochenmuehlenbrink

ig @/paul_riedmueller

My parents put up this wallpaper with luminescent stars in my childhood bedroom and I was absolutely excited for it. Unfortunately, I had to move out of that room after only a couple of weeks and so I associated the stars with lost childhood and now, reconciliation with my inner child.