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when ur shopping with ur skinny friends and they take u into a skinny ppl store

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tried to go to sleep after a long day, but as soon as I closed my eyes, I imagined a great white pelican in the room with me, opening its wings with such vivid detail that I jolted awake on pure animal reflex to try and stop it from wrecking everything. accosted by the demon pelican.

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who’s a good girl

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you may be losing the idgaf war but they wouldn't even let me enlist. on account of my poet's temperament.

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this type of animal will come stare at you when you’re setting up a Minecraft server

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Cats getting caught doing crimes

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First drafts aren't the final product and they're allowed to be messy. Except mine. Mine has to be perfect immediately

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the devious devourer

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let's go for a swim with mama

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the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it's monday and we are getting on it cunts

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"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."

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she did it again (and again and again and again)

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