voidless7

[voidless7]

You meet god and she's mostly dead fish. You ask her why and she says most of the world is dead fish, and she's made herself to appeal to the most common denominator, the everyman funnyman comedy show that runs for eleven seasons but with the entire universe in mind. You ask her how much of the dead fish is your fault, she says it's far less than you'd think, in the grand scheme of things. You ask her if you matter at all. If you can do anything. She shrugs her rotting shoulders and says mattering is a made-up concept, like life, but sure, you can matter if you want to, on some scale. She has many scales. She doesn't know what you mean by 'anything', but you can do everything you can. You ask her if it's enough. She says there's no base requirement for deserving to exist. She's smoking a joint and the smoke filtering out of her gills gathers and forms gas giants and red dwarfs. You ask her if there's any hidden secrets of the universe you should know and she says it's not a secret if she tells, plus it's fun to let you figure it out yourself. You ask her if any of your questions were right questions and she says you worry about being right so much it might keep you from fucking around, which is as close to meaning of life as she ever bothered to make. You don't ask but she says she loves your hair, also your whole being, also your planet. She says she figured out what love is yesterday and is trying it out, which explains the ten thousand rainbows and sudden influx in rains of fish. She offers you a drag of her joint and you wake up half past midnight behind a chain restaurant clutching a smoked salmon. The new stars are winking like they're in on some joke and you're sure if you try hard enough you'll remember what it is.

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My oc Clippy!!

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- No gods but us.

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tumblr staff finding out their site has crowdsourced a viral song, only to discover it is 100% unusable in any corporate marketing scenario

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anon hate

Witty response

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I completely flooded the back of house today and everyone failed to react like a human. The person who noticed tried to alert me by standing directly behind me, pointing at the floor, and going ‘water’. And when I turned and looked, all I could muster was ‘oh thats cool.’ Really calmly.

And then my manager darted for the mop bucket like CAN YOU TWO DO SOMETHJNG PLEASE STOP JUST WATCHING IT

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Batter yawning unhinging his jaw and showing his predator teeth...

they’re a bit disturbed

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I plugged 3 consoles into one A/V port for maximum gaming.

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SCP-049 Plague Doctor

SCP Foundation

My husband yes

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In my interpretation of their story, they HAAAAAAATED HATE HATE HATE HAYE HATE HATRED SO MUCH HATRED SO MUCH LOATHES HAAATED each other at the beginning. 049 also had a cane due to having broken his leg in an attack on the village he was staying in. Put those things together and you get 049 beating 035 with a stick.

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hey hey hey you remember ratatouille? that movie was fuckin wild. in the first 20m a woman points a shotgun at the protagonist and tries to shoot him multiple times, brings down the roof of her own house, and subsequently gasses it. then the rat goes to paris and meets the bastard son of a dead chef and almost dies. again. several times. many times! almost gets locked in an oven. and then drowned. then some shit happens and he controls the bastard son by pulling on his hair. also the bastard chef gets drunk at least once. it’s explicit too like the scheming sous chef brings this 18 y/o or whatever into his office and gets him drunk because he wants the kid to admit that he’s a successful chef because of a tiny hair-pulling rat puppeteer who lives in his hat. and all throughout it the rat is grappling with the ethical conflict of whether stealing is right, and how to reconcile the wasted excesses of capitalism with his belief in private property and self-earned worth, especially when he comes from an impoverished background where stealing was necessary. and the underlying motif is how art isn’t an exclusive club, and how making art accessible to everyone is critical to the expansion and success of art itself, and the importance of honesty in relationships. also the human protagonist’s name is linguini

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"kung pow penis," a phrase commonly used in reblogs to indicate utter disdain for OP, has twelve letters, each of which (traditionally) must be supplied by a different user. the unanimity of disdain indicated by these twelve unrelated users has strong parallels to the requirement of unanimity for a jury—also traditionally of twelve—to arrive at a verdict. in this essay i will

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you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

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why is rent the most expensive thing in my life? I'm just sitting here. I'm just hanging out in a house. there is no service here that needs compensating