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going here would fix me actually

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flowery tea ♡

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by giorgio_filippini_photographer

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The Twilight Saga + Costumes

Felix's grey suit in New Moon.

// requested by anonymous

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8, 26 and 42 for the ask game? ❤️

Hello lovely, thank you for the asks💙.

8. Do you collect anything? If so, what?

I lately been collecting earrings, i have a variety of them so far, some i could never wear since they are....interesting to say the least but some i love to wear. I usually wear silver ones since they compliment me well but my favorite pair are these dangling blue tulips. They are my ultimate ones and are so me, i even have some rose ones that are pink. I always have earrings on and i try to rotate my pair so i don't leave any out.

26. Can you cook or bake? It so, what are some of your specialties?

I can do both, mostly baking because I have the biggest sweet tooth and i find peace in baking. I think my specialty can vary actually, my muffins come out good and always disappear in a day or two or my banana bread which again always disappears quickly, usually my family always turn to me for any baking related thing or craving they have. As for cooking it only happens when i suddenly feel motivation. Funny thing is I don't like when people are in the kitchen with me when I'm doing either task because i feel so stressed and i feel like i might mess up when i done these things so many times.

42. Do you have any games on your phone? If so, which one(s) is/are your favorite?

I do have games on my phone, I only have 4 so far but wouldn't be surprise if i get more later 😅 (i also deleted some in the past). My favorites out of the four are "Block Blast" and some game called "Screwdom". I also have Love&Deepspace but man it has been a minute, i think the last time i went on it was for my birthday (which was back in December).

Asks came from here

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50 Questions Just Because

What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to?

Describe your favorite pair of socks

Do you like smoothies?

What do you wear when you have to dress nicely?

How do you like your eggs?

What do you use to keep your place when you’re reading a book?

What color dominates your closet?

Do you collect anything? If so, what?

What sounds or scents calm you down?

What’s your favorite kind of uquiz question? (Lyric, color, aesthetic, etc)

Do you wear glasses or contacts?

What’s something about your best friend that you love?

Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?

What are some places where you feel most at home?

Do you have any houseplants? Do any of them have names?

Describe your favorite hoodie. How long have you had it? What makes it unique?

What’s the last thing you ordered online?

What’s one historical event that you would have liked to have witnessed?

What’s your favorite Halloween costume from when you were a kid?

What kind of math are you best at?

What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!

Iced or hot drinks?

Which songs do you like to sing in the shower?

Are you a good driver?

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Are there any that you want?

Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties?

Do you have any keychains on your home or car keys? Describe them!

Can you swim very well? Do you like swimming?

Did you play with Legos as a kid? What was your favorite set?

Is your closet organized? If so, how?

What’s the last music video you watched?

If you could dye your hair any color, regardless of how you think it would look, what color would you choose?

Headphones or earbuds?

Can you read analog clocks?

Describe your favorite stuffed animal, either now or from when you were a kid.

What’s an arcade or table game (air hockey, ping pong, etc) that you’re really good at?

Do you mind if others are in the kitchen when you’re cooking or baking?

What’s one show you watch or musician you listen to that your friends know nothing about?

What was the best part of your day today?

What’s your favorite kind of tree?

What scent is your deodorant?

Do you have any games on your phone? If so, which one(s) is/are your favorite?

Do you shower with the lights on or off?

What do you do with spare change?

Do you have good handwriting?

What’s the last thing a friend recommended to you that you looked into and actually liked?

Do you like to go on walks?

Do you have a favorite plate or bowl?

What’s your favorite thing to do when it’s raining?

Describe your perfect sleeping conditions

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The Twilight Saga + Costumes

Felix's grey, black & golden coat in New Moon.

// requested by anonymous

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Vanish Into You

Demetri Volturi x fem human reader

Warning: Angsty, mentions of smut

A/N: Im sorry for the angsty Demetri, it was hard to write for him in this genre since I always write him all sweet and happy. But with this song I knew it was going to be a hit in the guts.

Word Count: 680

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He tends to sit on the corner of the bed with his face in his hands as soon as I'm asleep. It's almost every night when he comes over, he never stays long enough for the sun to graze our skin. In the moment, we make promises of being together forever, but as soon as the next night comes upon us, he's silent. He won't even look at me in the eyes as he sets his pace, I'm almost like some object to him where he can release whatever stress he might have. No amount of pages I write into this will ever come close to the pain it causes me when he won't meet my gaze or tell me he loves me. 

He used to say it so carelessly and naturally, almost like if he was made to say those three words to me. The way he would make me feel so special as his lips made contact with my skin, the way he refused to look away from me or have his hands off me for long. He would profess his love to me like a vow, a vow that one day we will indeed have forever. But now that has all changed, as I write this, I have not seen him for weeks now. 

His scent still lingers on the pillow he would lay on after he made love to me. It was so strong that I would believe he was actually there.I would cry into it every night, letting my mind be overcome with thoughts of him as I inhaled his scent. Has he started to regret our time spent together? Was I just for a moment? A moment where he was allowed to stop seeking at any given moment. How is that fair for me? Was I never part of his so-called plan of forever? Was it all lies to just share a moment of pleasure? 

When I look in the mirror I see him for a split second, but as quick as the wind he vanishes into me. Why do I kid myself into thinking he will come back, this is the longest we have been apart, he won't come back. The longer I see myself in the mirror, the more I believe he is looking back at me, I believe that later that night I will see him once again. All those cold summer nights we would share, it felt ecstatic to be in his arms as he would whisper sinful words. From wanting to ruin me in the most passionate way, to making us feel like the only people in this warmless life.

Even if he was cold as stone, his touches felt like little touches of heat. It gave me the spark of wanting to continue in this life, even if we would not spend the day together, just those moments in the night was all the happiness I needed. All of that has vanished into the night just like he does before the sun rises. All that was left was his scent. 

As the moon rises to its full potential, I’m reminded of another night spent in the cold without him. I thought he was happy with me, he would give me these smiles full of sunshine as soon as he saw me. How can that truly be all gone? 

Even if the moonlight spills through my windows creating a gloomy atmosphere as it has been in the past, I feel a small shift in the air. On his pillow lies a lone paper, as I get closer to it I see his face on it. His face was slightly fazed as he was mid run when the picture was being taken, behind the picture was carefully written letters

“Once in a blue moon, you were mine, but once in your life I was yours”

A silent tear rolls down my cheek as the words sink in, he won't be coming back. That's the reality I will have to face and carry for the rest of my warmless life. 

Diary Entry #66

“Saw your face and mine

In a picture by our bedside

It was cold in the summertime

We were happy just to be alive

Can I vanish into you?” - Vanish Into You By Lady Gaga

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Vanish Into You will be posted tomorrow. Just a heads up this one will hurt a bit. This was my first time writing angst for the lovely Demetri.

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ZombieBoy

Alec Volturi x fem reader

Warnings: Mentions of smut, bondage, blood play

A/N: I could of easily given Felix this song since this song is literally the one song I'm inhaling day and night but when I thought it through it was giving Alec vibes. This song was basically inbended into this, if you see the lyrics and compare it to this you see I was heavily inspired by it.

Word Count: 577

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Is he even aware that he is…alive? The way he moves is almost inhuman, he physically has to make himself move like a human. But he moves with such elegance in a way, it's as if he's inviting me to come to him. His stare cold as his presence, while his eyes looked tired as if he's been around for so long. There might not be actual bags under his eyes but he looks drained. Is he actually human? 

The way he closes into me makes me catch a glimpse of a hidden side, maybe a beast, but how would a beast know how to make me feel such intense pleasure? My hands would be tied above my head as he roamed over my skin, his hands running through every curve of my body, adding just enough pressure to give me little electrical pulses to course through my body. And I just helplessly stand in the nude before him, treating me as if I'm a silver platter. He looks deep into my eyes as he licks from my hip up to my chest in one lick. It makes me squeeze my thighs together at the sight of his intense eye contact, he looks like he's mad but that certain twinkle he has in his red eyes says otherwise.

When he crawls to me on the bed, he's like a predator and I'm his prey. He always has an animalistic smirk on his full lips, the same lips that devours me every night. He’s like an animal when he kisses me, full of hunger, full of thirst, full of desperation to have me in any way possible. One could even say he could despise me with how he manhandles me with roughness but the endless love bites he leaves all over my body say otherwise. They always last long, they could easily pass as some disease with how I am covered in them. It seems each time we have our encounters he makes it his mission to leave new ones.  

His bites are unique, his canines are the ones more prominent than his other perfect teeth. And when he flashes me his predatory like smile, he makes sure to show his sharpest. He would tell me how I'm his first in being so intimate with and how he has never had this type of desire to be with anyone. I find that hard to believe with the way he can give me a glance and I'm already set to go on my knees for him without hesitation. He has to have some type of experience before me. He has me captivated, has me tied to him, body, mind, and soul. I'm his as he is mine.

And when that night came where he reveals his true self, I am flattered to think I, a lone human, could be his type. I can be the one he wants to come to everynight, be the one he lusts over. With just that night, he is not off before the sun rises, instead he lays by me, the sun kissing his bare chest. Not much is said in those mornings when he stays but just knowing he is there as I open my eyes makes me feel assured.

“Am I yours?”. I asked as I looked into his red eyes, the same eyes that got brighter as he drinked from my neck the night before.

“Of course”. He said without hesitation.

Diary entry #77:

“I can't see straight

And my hands are tied

I could be your type

From your zombie bite”  Zombieboy by Lady Gaga

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🎶We about to be up all night, waking up a zombie. So put your paws all over me, you zombie-boy🎶 .

The second "Love, Lust, Yearning, Hunger" series is going to be posted tomorrow. Since its pride month I found it convenient to share this quick little story. So the other day my dad texted me and my sister (we have a group chat of just the daughters and my dad) and he said this “You gays awake”. Bless my father but me and my sister laughed for a good 5 minutes and then we both responded “Gays?”. He meant guys but I thought sheesh dad no need to call us out this early. Anyways can’t wait for the second short story/ diary entry.

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Garden Of Eden

Caius Volturi x fem reader

Warnings: its a bit scandalous, theres no implied smut but mentions of said sensual acts, mentions of being in the nude, blood play(😮‍💨)

A/N: I remember when I was going through a second listen to the album, I knew this song was for Caius. Got to show my ruthless king some love too. Plus I noticed I haven't written for him for a while and just something about this song was giving me inspo.

Word Count: 627

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The Garden of Eden, a place of paradise, a place of feeling free, a place of secret. A place where anything can happen and whatever happens, the world will never find out. So much secrecy could happen, the scandalous acts that can be created there and yet nobody will ever know. Moonlight becomes the perfect spotlight to accentuate sensual touches between two secret lovers. Hands desperate to memorize every inch of skin their lover can offer. Worshipping of bodies as if tomorrow won't come around, and maybe that could be true because we are not promised a tomorrow.

But we don't care, night after night, my hands run all over his cold skin, afraid I might not be able to do this for long. Blood would run down my neck as he would clean it off with his skillful tongue, maintaining eye contact with me. I know his true nature but I was never afraid of him, it only made this whole encounter more exhilarating yet forbidden. Our encounters should be a sin, but I don't mind a little sin if the fruit is so sweet. 

His lips refuse to leave mine as he is furiously ripping our clothes off and as my hands stay on him. How can something so forbidden feel so good? He’s like a dose of aphrodite, once you get a taste of him you become intoxicated by him. He's all you want to crave for days, he's in my thoughts, my dreams, I see him everywhere but I know he's not actually there. 

As I await his arrival in our il giardino dell'Eden, as he says it, I felt my senses be filled with his scent. He's near. I felt his cold presence behind me as his hand slid down my spine creating a deep shiver to run along with his touch. My back on instinct arches as he reaches the ending of my spine. I felt his breath near my ear.

“Hello amore”

His voice dripped with lust, mimicking my own desire for him. I lean my head back as he makes his way to my neck, his teeth slightly grazing it without drawing any blood, at least not yet. With time I know he will draw blood, it's his own twisted way of his love language. It should be a sick act but fuck the way he looks at me as he drinks from my blood leaves me begging him to do it again. A forbidden act between an immortal and a mortal, endless stories of such an atrocity have been looked down upon, I myself have looked down on it. But with him I never want to let him go, I don't want what we have to end. 

His hands made their way to my thighs as he gave them a delicious squeeze, an indication that soon enough he will drink from them. It's his way to remind me our nightly moments did indeed happen by leaving a mark in the shape of a bloody heart. Even as I write in my diary, and recall each night in a lustful mess, I remember the way he made me feel. As said our illicit love between monster and human should not be allowed but a vampire could show you love forever. I know if I go back to our garden every night, he will be there waiting for me, or sometimes I am the one waiting for him and yet I know he will always show up. 

“Forever?”. He mumbled into my now bare shoulder. It was in the form of a question, and there was even a hint of fear in his voice. 

“Forever”

That's all he needed to hear for him to finally sink his teeth into me. 

Diary Entry #60

“I could be your girlfriend for the weekend

You could be my boyfriend for the night

My excuse to make a bad decision” - Garden of Eden by Lady Gaga

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Garden of Eden comes out tomorrow!!!!

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Love, Lust, Yearning, Desire

A series involving the Volturi men x fem reader

Summary: If its forbidden love, why does it feel so good to love them and to feel their touch? You should be running away from them but you are running to them willingly. They are monsters but all you see is the man you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. Will they accept you as their equal? Will the hurt, heartache, and or longing of love be worth it?

A/N: Oooooo a little something something for Pride Month and because I been breathing in Mayhem the past couple of weeks since the album was released. They are going to be short and more in like diary entries style.

Caius

The Garden Of Eden

Alec

Zombieboy

Demetri

Vanish Into You

Felix

LoveDrug

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Hi darlings😁,

I have a secret to share with everyone, for this month I will be posting a mini series i been working on for a while. It contains 4 short stories inspired by mother monster album Mayhem. I will post the intro post right after i post this.

Hope everyone enjoys the upcoming work, i know i haven't been online or been posting anything but i hope this makes up for it. Also Happy Pride Month lovelies 💖💜💙. Seems fitting to release my works on this month because hello its Gaga🫶🏼.

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Thank you for the tag lovely (a little late but I like doing these)

Wasn't tagged but I saw this floating by and wanted to do it. Tagging @oonajaeadira, @alwaysbethewest , @grogusmum , @agirllovespancakes , @yespolkadotkitty @brittababbles and anyone else who feels like this would be fun!