vondikall

[vondikall]

youve died a thousand times before who caaares just climb out of this grave again & again &agaian & agaian & again & again & aga

[vondikall]

tes THDPSSSSPS 💜

[vondikall]

In this big world is there a place for someone as little as me?

[vondikall]

[vondikall]

Oh!

[vondikall]

maybe the single funniest twitter comment I've ever seen

[vondikall]

Waking up from your decade long enchanted sleep to learn that, not only is sharing your True Name with the fae okay now, but there's actually a rule against using a false name when entering the faerie market.

Your friends admit that this causes some problems— it's way easier to fall victim to a false deal, or get stolen away now— but everyone goes to the fae market to buy their goods so what are you gonna do? Not see your friends? Go out of your way to buy more expensive stuff from the human market? Yeah right.

Also yes they still perform their light-footed fluttering dances under the silvery light of the full moon, but in order to get in you have to first watch the dancers perform two short plays about why you should shop at certain local businesses. Also if you want to talk about the performance afterwards then you need to trade them your True Name, your home address, your date of birth and your personal interests.

You do this so that the fae can this information on a scroll and give it to local business owners.

Another part of the deal they broke is that nobody may talk negatively about those businesses within the market walls. In fact, your friends say, the enchantment is so effective that it's very difficult to talk negatively about anything at all.

“I know it sounds un-good,” your friend admits. “But there are loopholes.”

“In retrospect,” another friend says, “I wish the town had voted un-yes to teaching the fae about money.”

“On the plus side,” the first friend says, “I hear the market is investing in one of those enchanted statues that responds to questions with deliberately ambiguous riddles, so long as you trade it your memories of secondary school.”

“Oh, cool. Is that why they're burning down the library?”

You wonder if it's too late to go back to sleep.

[vondikall]

Today's Seal Is: Hmph!

[vondikall]

[vondikall]

[vondikall]

Nice stigmata scar. Too bad it's on the gay hand.

[vondikall]

completely sober in the club looking at images of dragons on my phone

[vondikall]

noticing that for mono relationships you hear stuff like "they weren't right for each other" or "it just didn't work out" but for poly relationships it's always "this is why I could never do polyamory"

[vondikall]

you have to stay alive. you're going to be such a beautiful middle aged freak. young freaks will see you in the street and know that things can be okay.

[vondikall]

Whatever. Go My Beatles

[vondikall]

what you learn from hobbies:

consistent practice opens up whole worlds of skill that you couldn't imagine

making mistakes in the process of learning is not only natural, it is also essential

activities that you enjoy can give you more energy back than you spent on them

wow everything is so expensive

[vondikall]

$1,000,000 deposited into your bank account every day for the rest of your life or sex with Jafar?